“Sebastian, I can see you’re stressed. You’re pouring milk into the dehumidifier “
“Ah shit”
^^^^^
THIS
THIS MADE ME LAUGH
Sebastian: All right, Ciel, everything’s looking good for the luncheon today. I have some real heavy hitter’s for my bull pen. I’m talking grapes the size of B-cups, a ham roast that could feed a lion pride for a calendar month. I’ve got a calzone that’s so big, it registered as a passenger in my car and the unbuckled seatbelt alarm kept going off, so I had to buckle it in and then live with the shame of looking like a calzone chauffeur
Sebastian: The one thing that isn’t complete is my pièce de résistance, the dessert: my golden-brown crusted, piping-hot, jacked-up apple pie. The only way I can achieve the crunchiest, crispiest crust is if I cook it ten minutes before company arrives. So I’m leaving it till the last minute
Ciel: Sebastian, I can see you’re stressed. You’re pouring milk into the dehumidifier
Sebastian: Ah shit
Sebastian: Look, it doesn’t matter. We can’t cook this baby until ten minutes before company arrives, because I’m serving this thing PIPIN’ HOT
Ciel: Don’t you think that’s cutting it a little close?
Sebastian: I’m an adrenaline junkie, son, I need the rush, but I’ll admit these are stressful times
— the next day on the ride to school —
Ciel: So are we just not gonna talk about your luncheon—
Sebastian: My luncheon was terrific.
Ciel: You can’t be serious
Sebastian: I think my luncheon was lovely, son.
Ciel: I heard you describing it to Agni as “elegant and fun”—
Sebastian: Elegant and fun, that’s correct, which it was. Wouldn’t you say it was elegant and fun?
Ciel: Which part, when you screamed “I’m simply one hell of a host” while juggling all of our knives, or when you let forty-six of your cats swarm the dining room?
Sebastian:
Sebastian: Both
Ciel: Also, remind me, why is the Bose player in the back seat?
Sebastian: … I need to get it repaired at media services after I drop you off
Ciel: Mhm. And how did it break?
Sebastian: The volume… somehow got… maxed out or something. I don’t really know
Ciel: Uh-huh. Might that have been from you blaring Andrea Bocelli at the maximum volume for upwards of seven minutes?
Sebastian: Oh look, it’s your school. Have a smart day, son
Ciel: Yeah, bye