C; Gil - Blog Posts

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“well, i wouldn’t say the best but thanks for saying that and for thinking it,” he shrugged, smiling at his friends before letting out a loud laugh and sticking his tongue out at salem. “oh, hush – they won’t do anything to you,” he shoved salem away playfully, innocently thinking all his lovers would do is the same thing that happened on their first time and not what harry also did afterwards to the person who shared a kiss with gil. “besides, you’re too pretty for me,” gil winked at salem, a giggle following his words. “i am very lucky to have them, they are my world. one day you will have that too, i am sure of that, salem.” his smile softened at the thought of his partners and his eyes grew hopeful for salem.

salem shook his head, resigning himself to the fact that gil was not good at taking compliments, but neither was he. “always too drunk to care, anyways.” he shrugged with a crooked smile. he also believed harry would at least give him the benefit of the doubt since he considered the other pirate a nice drinking buddy. “pretty?” he questioned with slurred laughter. it was odd to be described as such since he had been so proud of his grotesque ghost form back home, making his perception of beauty rather warped. “that’s a beautiful thought,” he offered instead of denying his words, it was hard to be self-deprecating when gil was looking at him with pure hope. “anyways ---” he yawned. “you ready to turn in? it’s late and you’re way too drunk to walk back so stay in the guest room, yeah?”

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“i think there is hope for everyone, if there is hope for me then there must be hope for you and who knows maybe tomorrow you will met someone better than me, there are plenty of people who are better than me in many ways, including more forgiving,” he responded easily to the other male, looking down before offering him a shy smile. “yeah, i think that would be for the best,” gil giggled as he pushed away the drink. “oh – they are so nice,” he breathed in awe, running his fingers over salem’s tattoos gently, “not yet. me and uma, harry and carlos are going to get matching ones,” he smiled, his expression showing just how smitten he is with his partners.

“shut up already with that. you’re the best.” he wrapped an arm around the other’s neck, ruffling his hair in a playful manner before he let him go. salem took the drink, downing the last bit himself before watching as gil traced the lines of his tattoos. “don’t touch me too much, gil.” he teased the other. “don’t want angry pirates on my ass.” he winked, knowing that gil was nothing but loyal and salem would never try to tempt someone who was taken, not even in his drunk state. “you guys are lucky to have each other the way that you do. i’m happy for you.” he meant that because as much as he envied their bond, he wanted nothing but for gil and harry to be happy. they had both been there for him in some of his lowest moments.

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“well, sometimes is better than never being right,” gil sighed, his lips pulled down in a frown at the male’s words before sending his a warm grin. “that’s not true ! i want to be near you, addict or not – you’re my friend. eventually you’ll work through your problems,” the villian kid assured salem before blinking at him and turning to giggle at his glass of liquor. “i guess the drink got to me, ‘cause i comletely forgot about it,” he let out a laugh as he faced salem once more. “oh ! how many tattoos do you have ?”

the words make salem pause, he simply stares at gil for a long, drawn out moment before a smile breaks out across his face. “i hope, that if there’s still hope for me, i get to be with someone like you. someone forgiving,” he added earnestly. gil had quickly become a dear friend to him and he hoped he would be able to keep him around unlike many of his former friends. “ah, maybe it’s time to stop then.” as much as he indulged himself, salem was careful about letting others overdrink. “these ones are all over my body.” he pulled the collar of his hoodie down to reveal ink black stitching circled around the base of his throat. “neck, legs, arms, and torso. ma drew the line at getting them on my face.” he chuckled. “do you have any tattoos?”

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gil thought over the other’s words, and though he knew he was right, he still couldn’t help but feel that while they need him now for his strengh it doesn’t mean they will always need him and they will more than likely get rid of him as soon as there’s no need for him – even if uma and harry have told him many times how much they care for him. “i – i suppose you are right,” he shrugged, still unsure as he looked up to watch salem’s expression. “well, you never know — maybe in the future you will get them back but i think you’re great, i mean you aren’t perfect but no one is. what do you mean by ghost though ? like you’re invisble for them now ?”

salem could tell gil’s confidence was still far from uplifted but self esteem never came easy. “i have to be right sometimes, yeah.” he chuckled, trying to create a happier mood. “no one---” he tilted his head, wondering if he should say it out loud before he figured out he was too drunk to care. “no one wants to be near an addict.” a brow arched before he figured out what had confused the other. “oh ! no.” he chuckled. “i’m from halloweentown. thought i told ya but i was a ghost.” he lifted up his arm, pointing to his tattoos which were simple black stitch markings that covered most of his body. “my mother's a ragdoll and my dad’s a skeleton. the one good thing about having a human body is tattoos.”

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“oh you should never feel worthless, not when you are so damn great,” gil sighed, a pout resting on his lips as he turned to face salem, letting him move the drink even though it made him pout some more. “but i once heared that saying – wine comes in, truth comes out so it must be true. i know they care but that doesn’t mean i am needed,” he responded as he met the other’s eyes. “i suppose you are right but you don’t know – maybe they just feel bad about telling me i’m not good enough. what do i have that they will need ?” he looked down as he let his hands fall to the side, “did – did anyone ever push you away because they no longer wanted you, salem ? because if so – they’re dumb. you’re great. a little bit of a mess but that’s fine – we all are, clearly,” he offered him a small smile.

if only that were true. salem was a mess that no one wanted to deal with, including himself. the skellington boy was also terrible at offering comfort, his buzzed brain trying to come up with the answers that gil wanted. “ well --- vks, i’ve noticed don’t keep things around they don’t need, yeah? and there’s a lot about you that’s super awesome, gil. ” the words started out hesitant, salem not wanting to make gil feel judged for being a vk.  “ uhh---” salem had no words for that question, hands falling from gil’s face as he thought back to all the people that had been pushed away by his addictions. “ more like --- what i did pushed them away. i’m really not that great. i’m a useless huge mess of ghost --er person,” he admitted with dry laughter.

salem really needed to remember that not everyone had as strong a tolerance as he did. "hey, only one of us is allowed to feel worthless,” he joked before realizing that gil was serious. he really did himself as so much lesser than everyone around him. “gil---” he moved the drink away from the other male, cupping his face in his hands to force him to look at him. “that’s the alcohol talking, man.” he tried to calm him. “strong and tough, it’s bullshit. if you’re in somebody’s life it’s because they want you there. trust me, the minute someone doesn’t want you, they’d let you know. and even if they are so much better there’s still something you got that they must need.”

@graveghcst.

“sometimes i wonder if i am truly needed, y’know ? like – my dad has my brothers and ellie who are stronger and tougher than i will ever be,” he chewed on his thumb as his other hand toyed with the hem of his shirt – his fourth drink sitting in front of him, “and yeah i finally have the relationship i dreamed about but am i that needed in it ? somedays i think i’m not – especially since they are too so much better than me.”