Bucky Angst - Blog Posts

The Greatest Gift of All

(Inspired by^ for the people who asked :D hope it was worth the wait!)

*

Long before the war, before Captain America or the Winter Soldier, there was simply Bucky and Steve. At least, that's what history says. But they missed out one very important person, a girl called Y/N.

Women in those times often found themselves with little opportunity, and only two easily attainable pathways in life: wife and mother. But Y/N carved out a life for herself that defied all expectations, and it all started in Brooklyn.

She dived headlong into scuffles, usually next to Bucky in defence of Steve. Regardless of the opponent, Y/N stood by them both, and often held her own quite impressively.

Her dress style borrowed from more masculine cuts, and Y/N was never seen without her cap. A lot of people had a problem with this, but she shut them up fairly swiftly.

Everything about this girl drew Bucky in, a battle he fought with little effort. They reveled in each other, flaunting their love at every opportunity. More than a few were jealous that the rough and tumble girl got the best looking boy in town. 

In a way, before even coming of age, they started an adult life together. The three of them moved into a flat. Y/N and Bucky took hard labour jobs, or anything they could get. They had little room to be picky. 

Both managed to hook steady summer jobs at the local docks. They used most of their money to keep a roof over their heads, buy food, and pay for Steve's medical needs. He attended art school, and sold his work every now and then; but physically, he was in no condition to work.

The war appeared on the horizon, just as they started to pull themselves an inch above the poverty line. Y/N saw it coming, the inevitable. She treasured every second they spent together, and dreaded the day when the draft came.

A lot of the older women she worked with were disrespectful, looking down on her pre-marital relationship with Bucky. They claimed she couldn't possibly understand their grief, despite the fact Y/N had seen Bucky off at the docks that very morning. 

In truth, they already planned on being married, but at the time, they simply didn't have the funds. Bucky promised, once the war ended, that ring would be on her finger.

Except, he never came home. Not properly. The person Hydra gave back to Y/N was damaged and jaded, angry at the world, angrier than she ever saw. But still, they loved each other. Though she never forgave them for stealing away his innocence, for trying to snuff out the light in his soul. A part of him would always belong to them, and she hated it.

Refusing to stay home while they risked their lives, never knowing, Y/N trained as an army nurse, working specially with the Howling Commandos unit.

Then one day, she went out to welcome them back from a mission. Every face looked devastated, but none more so than Steve. His eyes, red-raw and streaming, seemed incapable of rising from the ground. At first, the realisation didn't process, the idea simply incomprehensible. He promised.

Dugan was the one to finally break through and catch Y/N as she fell, holding her as the tears poured. Once he shook off his daze, Steve took his place, sharing in her grief.

Her world fell apart so quickly, with no warning and no mercy. Their commanders celebrated the capture of Arnim Zola, while Y/N and Steve sat, staring at an empty place at their side.

Everyone mourned Bucky, and swiftly after, began to mourn Y/N, too. The loss took a part of her...the sparkle, the happiness, the laugh that lit up her face. It all vanished. She worked hard, looked after them all, but only Steve was able to make her smile. Even then, it looked pained.

So when Steve went down with the plane, the very last shred of Y/N died with him. No tears left her eyes, no screams ripped up her throat. A cold numbness took over, freezing the woman from the inside out. 

V-Day came and went. The Commandos stood and drank to their lost comrades, and Dugan silently drank another...for the loss of a bright, fiery girl who had virtually nothing to lose, and still lost everything.

She spent her days as a robot, doing nothing but going through the motions of badly imitating life. The flat was empty and quiet, yet somehow, bursting with the ghosts of her loved ones. Nightmares plagued her, terrible images of Bucky's body, forever trapped in a freezing hell, nothing but food for the birds. And Steve, his body...was it cast adrift in the ocean? Or destroyed, burnt to ash in the belly of a metal beast. 

They were simple folk before the war turned them into soldiers, into weapons. Before symbols and flags stole away their names, driving them to sacrifice their lives for a greater cause.

Y/N knew their fight against Hydra was important...knew the honour behind their sacrifice. But when it's you left sitting at an empty dinner table, it's much easier to be angry and bitter.

She never married, never settled, bouncing around countries working as an army nurse. The Commandos slowly died around her, each one fading to grey as the curtain drew the show to a close. Each death, each funeral ripped open her wounds, bigger and deeper each time. Until eventually, Y/N let the blood flow freely.

Or at least, that's what would have happened. But one choice, one decision, made by a boy she thought dead in the far future, changed it all.

*

Bucky Barnes struggled to find himself again. His memories were mostly all returned, if a bit hazy and fragmented. He had Steve there to right any wrong recollections, and connect with on their shared experiences. But something always seemed to be missing, a piece of the jigsaw that hadn't been found.

He remembered Y/N. He remembered her clearer than anything. She was glowing like honey in the sun when Bucky closed his eyes and brought her back to mind.

Face covered in muck, hair tousled and streaked with grease from the boats, soot on the very tip of her nose and a cap perched jauntily on her head; wearing the deepest expression of concentration as she aimed a hanful of rotten fish guts at the sleezy Connell boy from Fifth, who decided his opinion on her backside mattered. The image shone crystal clear. Her laughter, rolling out from between curved lips, beautiful and full of mischief. 

It never failed to make him smile. Or cry. Or sometimes, both. He missed Y/N than he thought possible for a human being. 

Bucky often wondered about her life, whether she went on to marry, or maybe even have children. Was she happy? Did she bury him and move on? If they met today, would Y/N even recognise the man he was now? 

More importantly, in his mind, something he both feared and longed to know: would she still love him?

Unbeknownst to Bucky, Steve saw all this. Understood, to a degree, his pain. But he and Peggy never got the chance to bond so strongly. He knew Bucky needed him, but Steve also knew he needed Y/N more.

So once his goodbyes were said, he looked one last time at Bucky, and smiled beneath his suit as he vanished into time.

*

The living room looked exactly the same as he remembered. Bucky's coat, slung over the back of the chair, his sketchbooks strewn around the desk. Every rip and chip. His heart swelled with nostalgia, and pain, thinking of the life they were supposed to have.

What must have been in their heads...running off to fight, so eager to throw everything away. And who was left to stare at empty beds and eat breakfast alone every morning? Y/N.

His chest constricted, hearing the keys in the door, the lock rattling three times before letting her in. His nerve faltered for the briefest second, wondering if he was ready to see her again.

"Who the hell are you?!"

Time's up.

Slowly, he turned, and watched as Y/N's eyes widened, all the bags in her hands falling to the floor with a crash.

"...Stevie?" The name came out as a whisper, nearly inaudible.

He grinned, laughing as tears stung his eyes. "Hey, spitfire. Long time no see."

"Steve!" She launched herself at him, arms wrapping around his neck and clinging on for dear life. 

Catching her by the waist, he swung Y/N around, burying his face in her hair. They held onto one another as if they might vanish if they let go. But after a minute, Steve gently pushed her back.

"How? How are you here? What are you wearing? I don't understand, Steve, they said you died! Your plane went down in the ocean," she stammered, hand on his forearm with a grip like a vice.

"I survived. The serum kept me alive in the ice for seventy years," he said, questioning his own sanity momentarily; standing in the flat again made everything that happened seem like a distant dream.

Y/N frowned, brows knitting together. "What? Did you hit your head? Steve, this is 1945."

"I know, I came from 2023. I'm alive," he said, and saw her mentally backing away, so added, "I'm alive, and so is Bucky."

Her head snapped up, eyes immediately filling with tears. A dozen emotions whizzed through them in a second; disbelief, pain, hope. It shone clearly in her face as she stepped closer.

What did you say?" She asked, voice choked as she brought her shaking hands up to her mouth.

"Bucky's alive," he repeated softly, "and I can send you to him, in the future. But we don't have a lot of time. You need to listen to me, carefully, and do what I say."

She spluttered, struggling for words. "I, but...what about you?"

"I've made my decision," Steve said, and gently took her hands in his, "now, please, listen."

*

Bucky watched the machine, feeling a wave of numbness wash over his insides. Nothing was a better deal than the pain, the cruel sting of betrayal fighting to be felt. But he beat it back, unable to allow those thoughts validation.

Steve gave up so much for him, he fought for years to get him here. Steve deserved this. And no matter how wrong those words sounded in his head, he resolutely stood by them. 

The seconds ticked by, noted by Bruce's countdown. A flash of guilt almost made Bucky explain what was going to happen, explain that Steve left them. Left him. But he possessed no energy to speak, they'd see in a second, when no one appeared-

Zap. A blinding flash of light.

There's someone there.

Bucky frowned, hands falling from his pockets. Did Steve change his mind? Did he...

All the thoughts in his head stopped as the figure stepped down. Too small, too lithe for it to be Steve. Bucky's heart rate quickened, something in his unconscious already registering his recognition. 

The suit fell away, and if he weren't frozen in place, Bucky wouldn't have been standing. A quiver shot through him, nearly buckling his knees. Shock, fear and pure disbelief all delayed his reaction.

Y/N looked around, amazed, but turned to stone as she set eyes on him. Her face went utterly blank, a strangled sound leaving her lips.

Wearing her yard slacks, with a small bag on her shoulder, her face covered in dirt, hair streaked with grease, cap perched on-top, slanted to one side...she was everything he remembered, and his heart tried to leave his chest to go to her. To be whole again.

But fear held him back. She didn't know the things he'd done, the person he became after the train accident. What if-

"Who is she?" Sam asked, glaring as he stalked towards her, an accusation rising on his lips.

Bucky answered without hesitation, or thinking; the question had been asked countless times over the years. It always recieved the same reply. "My doll."

Sam stopped short, glancing between them, the way neither took their eyes off the other. He nodded, brows still closely knit, and backed off.

Slowly, Y/N approached, encouraged by the sound of his voice. She reached out carefully, when she got close enough. Trembling fingers brushed his cheek, and a shudder ran through her. 

"My Bucky..." She said quietly, eyes roaming over his face, a small smile tugging at her lips, "...you're here, in front of me. Alive."

He swallowed dryly, heart thundering away beneath his skin. "I'm different...you don't know..."

No sooner had the words left his mouth that her eyes found the cold metal where his flesh used to be. In reaching to hold it, she'd been taken by surprise.

Gently, Y/N took the hand in her own, examing the limb with a careful gaze. Moments passed, and she met his eyes again. Bucky steeled himself for rejection, for the disgust and horror.

Her hand went back to his cheek, and he involuntairly leaned into it. The warmth seeped into his blood. She stood on her tip toes, the smile on her lips blossoming into a bright beam of sunlight. "You've always been my Bucky, and always will be. Metal appendages and all."

He fell apart and dove down to capture her lips, clutching her to him with the hunger of a starving man. She pulled herself in, hands tangling in his brown locks, and both tasted salt on the others' lips.

So filled with joy his heart could burst, Bucky revelled in the feeling of holding his girl again. Laughing through the tears, he buried his face in her neck.

Thank you, Steve, for the greatest gift of all.

Mourning Bucky After His Death in 1945

(Inspired by^ this channel is wonderful, their ambiences always get my head in the right place for writing: beware, angst)

You got the news late, when the Commandos came back from the mission...and there was one missing. They didn't need to say a thing - the gap in their ranks, and the look on Steve's face, said it all.

Being a nurse, you couldn't stop to feel the pain or even really process it. But once the rush ended, and you stepped into the quiet street, everything fell on you at once. Tears poured, and your heart felt like it could burst. Bucky usually picked you up when your breaks came. His absence hit you like a truck.

Instead, you walked along the street in a thin army uniform and shivered all the way. A bitter wind blew through Brooklyn this time of year, but the cold you felt had little to do with the weather.

Somehow, your feet brought you to the old docks where Bucky worked through the summers. That was years ago, now, and seemed like a different life. You couldn't help but smile, recalling the laughter and choice language that used to fill the air.

Once, when you began to realise the full extent of your feelings, you came to the docks and watched him for the whole day. Instead of hiding away how you felt, you relished in it.

Sixteen was a hell of an age to fall in love, especially in the thirties. But reciprocated love...it blossomed and bloomed so beautifully. With Steve, your brother, you and Bucky built a life together.

It was always Steve who talked about their future...without him. The sickly boy never expected to live past thirty, and, despite how painful the idea was, neither did they.

Never in a million years did you imagine Bucky going first.

You couldn't hold it anymore. The sobs ripped out, and you sank to the ground by the water. One hand tightly clasped the other, a cold, glinting ring pressing into your skin. A promise, a commitment...now nothing but a memory. The life you talked about, planned so dreamily, even in the face of the war, gone. Destroyed in an instant.

Deep hatred and a desire for vengance reared its head in you. Bucky always said you and Steve were too alike. But the decision already cemented itself in your mind.

When Steve crashed the Valkyrie, no one was left behind. Two days before, you had vanished on a mission in Switzerland - presumed dead. He had nothing, not even Peggy, really, to keep him on Earth.

Little did he know, that the two sweethearts had been reunited. And Hydra would make good use of them both.

You Sacrifice Your Life for Your Family: Steve, Bucky, Peter.

(Inspired by^)

You stared at Thanos, shivering from the icy wind billowing around the mountain top. Blood dripped from your lip, and splattered over your side where your arm was tucked to give some semblance of support.

His eyes were like nothing you ever saw - soulless, determined, and utterly focused on this one goal. Another shiver ran through you. This time, it had nothing to do with the wind.

"You choose one to die," he said, speaking softly, "the others live."

Your eyes drifted over their faces. Steve, Bucky and Peter. The three most important people in your life; a brother, a partner, and an adopted son. Thanos chose well, you thought bitterly.

They were scattered in the snow, beaten and bloodied, held in place by the power of the stones. Their eyes searched for you, wide, panicked, fearful. You smiled, but it faded too quickly to be genuine.

"If..." you turned back to Thanos, determinedly avoiding the others, "what if I die? Do they all live?

Thanos cocked his head, curiosity glinting in his eyes. A chorus of protest rose immediately from her left, pleading and desperate struggling.

"Yes," Thanos said, and triumph burned in his voice; this was the outcome he wanted.

"Y/N, no!" Steve hissed, "don't you dare. I'll die, pick me!"

You finally faced them properly, smiling softly at your brother, answering him with a slight shake of the head. "No, Steve...this is how it has to be."

He opened his mouth to object again, but your arms wrapping around his torso cut him off. You almost laughed, still expecting to embrace a thinner frame, even after all this time. "Look after them, Stevie. Look after yourself."

His face was wet as you pulled away, but he forcefully nodded his head. You sighed, content in knowing he would honour that.

Bucky's whole body strained to free itself, fury slowly falling away to fear as he looked at you. "Doll, please...Y/N, don't leave us."

"Mo cridhe, this is the only way for you all to live," you said, stumbling forward to gently cup his face, "how can I choose between the three I love more than anything in this universe?"

He choked back a sob. "But, Y/N..."

You pressed a kiss to his lips, holding back tears of your own as thoughts and memories raced through your mind. Discreetly, you slipped your dogtags and the locket you kept with the precious pictures from the 30s, updated with a few from the present, into his pocket. You knew he would need them more than anyone.

Pulling back, you smiled. "What a life we've led, James, what a life..."

"Y/N...mum..." Peter whimpered, sniffing.

Quickly going to him, you enveloped him in a warm embrace. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, tearings flowing freely.

"My brave, brave boy. I'm so proud of you, Pete. So proud. You remember that, alright? I love you, I did this for all of you."

You kissed his forehead, accidentally smearing your blood over his cheek. He sobbed, head dropping.

"Be a good boy for Bucky, yeah? Listen to him and uncle Steve. Promise me?"

He nodded slowly, voice shaking. "I promise..."

"Good boy, you're a good kid," you said, pressing a hard, final goodbye kiss to his hair.

Drawing away from him took more energy than expected, and you staggered slightly, breathing heavily. You had stopped stemming the blood flow from your side, now the clock was reaching its end.

Thanos waited, patiently expectant, on the cliff edge. You huffed, rolling your shoulders, and walked steadily forward. But you paused, one last time, and looked back at your family.

"Remember how much I love you, all the good days we spent together, our glorious life..." you met Bucky's eyes, the man you called husband, and grinned the most radiantly he ever saw, "because it was glorious, wasn't it?"

You stepped off, and the clouds cradled you on your way to the end of your line. The smile you wore never wavered, neither did your resolve falter, thinking of golden days of youth and love, the laughter of the family you built ringing in your ears.

Their screams followed you all the way down, your name in their mouths the last thing you ever heard.

Piece of art 💓🦇

unsolved masterlist

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or any shits left to give, to make things even worse.

(Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, horror/paranormal elements

Disclaimer: no plot just vibes <3 it's just another banger dynamic that i loved and therefore had to write a garbage fic about. This is, in no way, a literary masterpiece so just be warned.

Here’s my Ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

- his secret -

Vampire bucky x female y/n.

you’ve been dating your military boyfriend for about 2 years but what you didn’t know is that he has a dark secret. 1940s bucky barnes x Steve’s twin sister, y/n. Blood!Angst!darkthemes!Y/N’s pov

The war had been over for four years now, four years ago we met. Although I remember it like it was yesterday.

- four years earlier-

It was a normal day to say the least, I went to work with the girls as we all had to because the men of the house where still at war, once I was back, I unlocked the door to mine and Steve’s apartment. The apartment was small and stuffy but it was home. I place my purse upon the counter top which was decorated with a stack of newspapers and two navy jackets.

I rub my eyes as if a trick of reality had fallen upon me from the lack of sleep and rest I have had the last couple of years. Upon my eyes focusing back on the jackets I was lead to the fact he was finally home.

I push the door for the living room and there he is “oh my, Steve” I say in shock, my hands covering my mouth as my brother, the star spangled man is stood in the living room of our apartment. He is so much taller and muscular now than before, i once heard about the super soldier serum and how Steve was chosen to be it’s subject, i then heard about the test working, after that day steve was all over the tabloids and propaganda posters.

Snapping me out of my trance Steve’s now deeper voice beams through the small room “oh how I’ve missed you y/n, I have someone you must meet” he says whilst engulfing my tiny body in a hug, once we break from the hug, I am aware of the other person in the room.

I look at the other man, his pale skin fills the room with light, his pale pink lips, puffy and chapped from the winters frost. His eyes, deep blue alike to the blue of a lapis crystal you see in travelers show. His dark hair contrasts his pale skin, his face is home to war scars and newer cuts.

Once again breaking out of yet another trance, the man is ushered toward me by Steve “this is my dearest friend and colleague, Sargent James Buchanan Barnes” the man then smiles a little toward me.

“please mind my manners, hello, I’m y/n, Steve’s sister” I say with a smile and an extended hand just as any lady should.

He links out hands and we are both share a handshake “I’m terribly sorry for the intrusion doll, you can call me James”

- present day 1949 -

After that first encounter, Steve’s mission was always to set me and James up, what more would a man want for his sister than his closest friend to be wed with her.

Me and James have been together for two years now and I’ve never been happier than I am now, Steve has a child with his now wife Margaret in who he met during his time in the military.

For the past year, after his business trip, James has been acting a little weird, I had recently pinned it down to some European sickness but upon the trip to the doctors office, there was no diagnosis for the illness.

In the past six months, he had stopped going out during the day and decided to start taking the night shift at his office to try avoid human contact as much as possible. He had been suffering with his senses, saying it is as if they had been turned up to 100 and that he could hear things that I couldn’t, this had me concerned and confused.

However, now he seems to have gotten used to this mysterious sickness, as if he had accepted whatever he has and has decided to use it to his advantage.

It’s finally our two year anniversary, today and our neighbour, Agnes had helped me set up a scenic atmosphere within the house before she went to work for the day, James had taken the day shift to the fact he wanted to get off earlier to spend his day with his ‘doll’.

I change into one of my best dresses, dinner already upon the candle lit table, I hear the door unlock and the steps of my lover coming into the room, he walks in, looking as handsome as ever. His eyes light up as he sees the layout of the room, he brings a box into view. A pink boutique clothing store box with a pink ribbon and a bouquet of roses on top of the box in which he sets down upon the table. He latches his hand upon my waist and pulls me in for a kiss, upon pulling away “happy anniversary doll” he says in a deep voice. We share a couple of kisses before sitting down, he ushers me to open my gift as he places the flowers in a vase.

I pull the end of the pink ribbon, allowing the box to be opened, I take the lid off of the box, in the box is a dress I had been eyeing up in a designer shop a few months ago “oh james, it’s dashing darling, thank you” I say with a hand over my mouth in awe to the man sat in front of me. “Your welcome my love. This dinner looks stunning doll” he states whilst picking up his cutlery and taking a bite of the food, with a smile I do the same and we eat while making conversation about the new shows playing in the local theatre.

After thirty or so minutes we are both finished and I had taken the plates into the kitchen, and cleaned them before making my way back to my boyfriend.

What I see next is the one thing I would’ve never expected within my life time. I see my boyfriend in the middle of the bedroom, we share, a pool of blood at his feet, and one of his newer colleagues in his grasp as he places his mouth to the neck of the older man. I stand in the doorway in shock and disbelief. “James” I say with a gasp. He drops the now dead man and turns to look at me, blood pours down his chin from his mouth. He looks healthier than ever as he says “y/n I can explain please sit dear” his two front canine teeth have been transformed into sharp fangs, he walks over to the door, pulling me into the room, onto the bed.

“what are you?” I say with a shaky voice as I sit on the bed with him.

“When I went on that business trip in Europe I was attacked by some men. One of them bit me, it’s called vampirism, the doctor has found my diagnostics the week I had came back but I had payed him off to not tell you or anyone. I’m so sorry doll” he says with an apologetic look as he wipes the blood off of his face.

“you mean to tell me the folklore stories are of truth” I look into his eyes, he is serious. My boyfriend is a vampire.

hey guys it’s spooky season so this is the start of my halloween tropes + mcu characters. I’m sorry this wasn’t longer, I’ve never wrote for Bucky, I don’t know how he would act but my friend requested vampire Bucky so this is as good as it’ll get. Please feel free to drop some more ideas for these stories. have a great day guys.

The Time of the Prey

Summary: The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made. 

Pairing: Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

Warnings: swearing, kidnapping, slow burn, previous trauma/daddy issues, mentions of death, torture, mentions/descriptions of injuries, specific warning will be listed in each chapter. 

A/N: each chapter will be posted at 10:00am every Saturday morning.

To be added to the TAGLIST please send an ask, it helps me keep track or everything. my TAGLIST LIMIT will be 30 BLOGS because after that it’s get very hard to format and make sure everyone is properly tagged.  (TAGLIST CLOSED)

I’ve worked hard on this one, hope you enjoy!

Series Playlist

Episode One

Episode Two

Episode Three

Episode Four 

Episode Five 

Episode Six

Episode Seven

Episode Eight

Episode Nine - october 22nd

Epilogue - 

fresh start (b.b.)

Summary: bucky tries to surprise you by bringing home supplies to cut his hair, but he's a terrible lair, and terrible at hiding things.

Warnings: so much fluff, bucky being in love, angst if you squint, TFATWS!bucky, female!reader, soft!bucky, mentions of death, implied smut

Side note: asdfghjk fluffy bucky makes me so soft, i love it so much❤️feel free to reblog, comment, and like this! it makes me happy when you guys do :) enjoy!

ps, i know i keep changing my style of headers, i’m just trying to see which one i’m comfortable with :)

It was a cold November evening, the sun setting low in the sky casting yellow and orange rays through the curtains, making it look like the living room was on fire. You sat curled up on the couch, thumbing through the book you had picked up while you ran out for coffee earlier. Slow forties music played softly through the stereo, and you hummed quietly to the tune.

Before you met Bucky you would have laughed at the thought of enjoying any music past the 60's. But the more Bucky played it, the more you grew to like it. You would have laughed at yourself a year ago thinking you would end up with James Buchanan Barnes. But here you were, giving lazy good morning kisses and heated nights in bed.

You heard the apartment door open and the sound of keys being set down on the counter. "Hey doll." Bucky muttered behind you, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. "Brought dinner." He handed you a take out container of Chinese food.

You set you book down on the end table and stretched your arms out. "How was your date with Yori?" You yawned, the corner of your lips twitching into a smirk.

"Date." He scoffed, echoing your words. "It's not easy finding someone who's the same age as you are, ya know, shared life experience and all."

"But he doesn't know you're 106?"

"He's 90. It's close enough." He chuckled, sitting down next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders.

You smiled to yourself, taking a bite of your dumplings. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence as you ate. Bucky scrolled through his phone while tapping his foot along to the music. It's nights like these that remind you of why you fell in love with him in the first place. Time just seemed to slow when you were with him, everything was in it's place and was perfect. You loved his entire body relaxed around you, the creases in his face softening. The way his long hair framed his face, curls touching the bottom of his chin.

You gulped down the last of your dumplings and got up to throw out of container. As you passed the kitchen counter, you saw a grocery bag sitting on one of the chairs. You tossed the container is the garbage and grabbed the bag, opening it up. You barely got a glimpse inside before Bucky was jumping over the back of the couch, snatching it out of your hands.

"Hey! That's private stuff!" He said, hiding the bag behind is back. You set you hands on your hips, raising your eyebrow.

"What did you buy now, Bucky?" You chided. Ever since Bucky had came back from being blipped, he's been trying new things. Buying random items that just seem to interest him. His spending spree had been the butt of a joke ever since you started dating.

"Nothing, nothing." His eyes couldn't meet yours. "Nothing stupid, anyway."

"Then why can't I see?" You reached for the bag again, but he moved it out of your reach.

"It's a surprise." He gave you a lopsided grin.

"Uh huh." You rolled your eyes. "I'm going to take a bath. You can join me if you want, or you can stay out here and play with your secrets." You wiggled your fingertips at him as you walked past.

You saw Bucky's bottom lip pout out as you headed towards the bathroom. You watched as he stuck the bag on top of the fridge and you smirked. It was funny for him to think that you couldn't reach it up there.

You turned the faucet to the bath on, sticking your finger under the stream to feel the water. Once you got it to the temperature you wanted, you plugged the drain and shed off your warm clothes. Goosebumps pricked your skin as you exposed it to the cold air, making you shiver. You felt a large arm wrap around you and pull you close, his nose nuzzling into your hair.

The hot water felt like heaven as you stepped in, Bucky coming in behind you. You both sunk down in the water, your back leaning against his broad chest. His chin came to rest on your shoulder, his arms wrapping completely around you. His long hair tickled your cheek, making you squirm.

"I killed Yori's son." He blurted out suddenly. "I'm putting him down on the list."

"How do you know?" You muttered against his cheek.

"Saw a picture of him in his apartment. Had a nightmare the other night." He whispered. "He was in the same hotel as the targets I was taking out. He saw me, so I killed him. No loose ends."

You sighed, hands reaching up to stroke his hair. "What are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know."

You sat there quietly, unsure of what to say. The noise of water sloshing in the tub filled the silence.

"Just tell him the truth." You said finally.

Bucky didn't respond. Instead, he pulled you even closer to him, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You closed your eyes, fingertips stroking over his scared arm.

You weren't sure how long the two of you sat like that, holding each other. You were beginning to doze off when you felt Bucky shift under you. Suddenly, you were aware of how the hot water was starting to turn cold and your hands felt prune-y.

Moving his arms off your waist, you stood up and let the water drip off of you before grabbing a towel. You dried off and Bucky did the same. You quickly walked into your bedroom, your body starting to feel cold after soaking in a hot bathtub. You slipped one on his long tee shirts, and opted for a simply pair of lacy black panties.

Hearing the sound of Bucky's dog tags softly clinking against his chest, you turned in look at him. The white towel hung low on his hips, his V line peaking out. His ab's rippled as he moved, his pictorials popping out. Your tongue swiped across your bottom lip, and you looked away, not wanting to meet his intense gaze.

Bucky's eyes ran across your body, his heart leaping when seeing that you were wearing his shirt. He loved it when you did that. You were so small compared to his, making it look like you were drowning in his clothes. He dropped his towel, tossing it in the laundry basket before pulling his grey sweatpants over his still damp legs.

You sat down on the foot of the bed, watching him as he got dressed. When he crossed the room, he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. Smiling, you grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to kiss you on the mouth. Bucky's plump lips pressed tightly onto yours and you nibbled on his bottom lip, receiving a small whimper in return. His tongue slipped into your mouth and it swirled around with yours, fighting for dominance.

Humming in satisfaction, you pulled away. His lips were red and puffy from the friction on them, probably matching your own. He looked at you through his eyelashes, his sky colored eyes piercing your heart.

"You're such a tease." He groaned, flopping on top of you, pinning you to the bed. You squealed at the sudden feeling of you being squashed.

"You know you love it." You giggled, digging your fingers into his rib cage. As much as Bucky likes to deny it, you knew he was ticklish.

"No, you love it. It's torture to me." He declared, tickling you back. You squealed again, your body squirming underneath his.

"Okay, okay!" You yelled through laughter. "I do like it, it makes you needy. That leads to some of the best sex we've ever had."

"Let me show you how needy I can be." He growled in your ear, nipping at the nape of your neck. You shuddered at the feeling, Bucky knew that was your sweet spot.

You moaned softly, but quickly snapped out of it. You reached around him, fisting his hair and tugging on it, making him look at you. He groaned at the feeling.

"You don't get to fuck me until you show me what's in the bag." You stated promptly, releasing his hair.

"What? That ain't fair!" He protested.

"No bag? No sex."

Bucky groaned again, this time in annoyance. He pushed himself off of you and stood up. Grabbing your hand, he lead you out to the kitchen. He let go of you and reached up to get the bag. You quickly snatched it from him before he could change his mind, setting it down on the table with a thunk.

You opened it, peering inside. You frowned in confusion, pulling out an electric razor, hair scissors, and some pomade. You looked up, still confused. Bucky seemed almost embarrassed, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet.

"What, hair cutting stuff? I thought you didn't want to cut your hair?"

"I guess I changed my mind." He shrugged. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Well, it still is." You laughed. "I never thought in a million years you would cut it." He shrugged again, looking away. "Baby," You said softly, feeling a light mood switch into something else.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you want to cut your hair?"

"I-I," He stuttered. You laced your arms around his neck, wanting him to know that you were there for him. “I just need a fresh start. I haven't had my hair short since-" He took a shuddering breath. "Since World War Two. When I woke up from being the Winter Soldier, I never had enough time. Moving from one battle to the next. I spent two years in Wakanda, but I was in cyrofreeze most of the time." He sighed, his forehead coming to rest on yours. "I just need a fresh start, to put everything that has happened behind me."

This was one of the things Bucky loved about you. He could just talk, ramble on for hours and you would sit and listen, soaking up every word he said. Never interrupting, telling him that what he was saying was stupid-unless it actually was stupid. His gaze finally landed back on yours, the love that was pouring out of your soft eyes made him feel better.

You stood on your tiptoes and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. A smile crept the corners of your mouth. "I can cut it for you." You whispered. Bucky's eyes lit up in excitement. "Plus, it'll be better than the hack job you'd do."

"Hey!" He spanked your bum, laughing.

"Sit down." You giggled, pulling a chair up for him.

You ran and grabbed a spray bottle while Bucky got comfy. You filled it with water and returned to him, misting it over his hair. You grabbed the shears and straightened it out, pulling all of it to his back.

"How short do you want it?" You asked, running your fingers through his hair.

"Whatever you wanna do, doll." He replied.

He heard the scissors snip and watched as a good chunk of it floated to the ground.

"There's no going back now." You hummed, continuing to cut up towards his scalp.

After you cut off most of the length, you reached over his shoulder and grabbed the razor. You turned it on and it buzzed to life. You brought it up to his head, careful not to cut it too short. The razor had a guard on, so it left the patch you had started on feeling fuzzy. You continued to do that around his head, leaving the top a little bit longer than the rest.

You moved to his front, using the scissors to style it a little bit more before you finished. Grabbing the pomade, you squeezed a glob of it into your palm. You rubbed your hands together spreading it around. You ran your hands through his hair, fluffing it up a bit. You got it to lay exactly how you wanted and stepped back, admiring your work.

"Excuse me, sir? Have you seen my Bucky anywhere? I've seemed to have lost him again." You said, fake concern in your voice. Bucky rolled his eyes at you. "Go look, babe. I like it." You tapped him on the shoulder, letting him know you were done.

Bucky disappeared into the bathroom and you turned to the kitchen sink to wash the sticky pomade off your hands. You went and grabbed a broom and dust pan, sweeping up the locks of hair you cut off. When you were done, you looked up and saw Bucky standing in front of you, smiling like an idiot.

"You like it?" You smiled.

"I love it." His soft eyes sparkled with happiness.

"See? Told you, you would have ended up cutting your ear off if I didn't do it."

Bucky didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed you by the hips and lifted on you onto the table. His body moved in between your legs and you instinctively wrapped them around his hips, your arms wrapping around his thick neck.

He kissed you, hard, his palm of his hands digging into your hips. You kissed him back with such passion that it felt like he was sucking all the air of your lungs. He suddenly pulled away, his chest heaving.

"I love you, doll." Bucky murmured, lifting a hand to tuck your hair behind you ear.

"I love you too, Buck."

"Now, what were you saying about me needy?"

Oh, you were in for one hell of a night.

pls lmk if you want to be added to my tag list!!

Bucky x female!reader

Warnings: smut. literal pure filth, pretty vanilla tho. praise!kink. a pinch of angst and a lot of fluff- perfect for a bucky fic:) 18+ MINORS DNI

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You hummed quietly, cleaning up the mess you had made in the kitchen. It was around sometime around midnight and you were an avid night time snacker. The rest of the avengers has since long gone to bed, leaving you alone. You grabbed the plate that had your freshly made grilled cheese and plopped down on the couch, switching on the large TV.

You decided on watching a true crime series that Nat has been begging you to watch. It was good, so far. You would have to thank her for basically forcing you to watch it. You scarfed down the rest of the grilled cheese and set the plate beside you on the coffee table. Finally noticing how tired you were, yawning heavily you laid down on the couch, determined to watch the rest of the episode.

You woke up slowly, your ears picking up on the quietly clinking of glass. The TV had long went into stand by mode, which had you wondering what time it was. Hearing someone sniffle, you sat up, using your elbows as support.

You saw the outline of someone standing at the sink, their shoulders rising and falling like they were taking quick breathes. “Everything okay?” You called out cautiously.

“Jesus fuck.” A deep voice grumbled, surprised. It was Bucky. “That’s a good way to get punched, Y/N.”

You chuckled tiredly. “Sorry Buck. What are you doing up so late?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he took his glass full of whiskey and sat down at the breakfast nook. “Alright then.” Y/N tossed the blanket off of her and moved over to where Bucky sat. “Why are you up?” You repeated, sliding into the stool across from him.

“Just couldn’t sleep. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” He mumbled back, taking a sip of his drink.

“S’kay, I didn’t want to sleep out here anyway.” You replied, scratching the back of your neck. “Did you have another nightmare again?” Bucky halted in the middle of another sip, his eyes meeting yours. He slowly set the glass down and shook his head.

“No.”

“You don’t have to lie, Buck. It’s just us out here.” You said quietly, reaching for his metal hand. “I get them too.”

He jerked his arm away from you, placing it in his lap. You frowned at him. “You wanna know what I was dreaming about?” You asked him. He raised an eyebrow at you. “My sister.”

“You’ve never mentioned you have a sister.” Bucky commented.

“Had. I had a sister. She died protecting me during the war in my home country. I must have been 10 or 11. I can’t really remember anymore. I tried to save her. I think I held her bleeding neck for at least a day. That’s when Hydra found me, and they gave me the ability to heal their wounded soldiers. It's a reminder, for what I couldn’t save.” You looked down at your hands, which were shaking slightly. You sighed heavily and shook your head, catching Buckys eye.

“But that’s not what I remember when I dream about her. I remember the good times. When we would go down to the lake a swim all day until we were pruning.” You chuckled to yourself. “Or when my dad would be working late in the mines and she would make the best chicken sandwiches.”

“She sounded like a good sister.”

“She was. But I choose to remember the good times, Bucky. She kept me strong during Hydra’s torture, and she still keeps me strong when you guys come off the battle field all bloody and bruised up.” You once again, reached for Bucky’s hand desperately wanting to let him know that you were there for him. This time he let you touch him, a hushed sigh falling from his lips.

“I know. And I try. Sometimes I just slip up and-” He cut himself off, sniffed loudly and looked away. His voice trembled a bit when he spoke again. “I’m just not as strong as some people think.”

Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N stood up and crossed the table, wrapping Bucky in a tight hug. She sat down on his thigh and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Bucky froze for a split second before his arms snaked around her hips. The two of you sat there for a long time, holding each other.

Y/N gently rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get the tension out. Bucky moaned softly and she felt something spring to life in the pit of her stomach. That’s when she realized how close they actually were. She could smell the whiskey coming off his breathe, and his hair smelt like cedar wood. She could feel his heart pounding against his chest and his hands gripped her hips just a little tighter.

You lifted your head away from his neck, to look at him. Their eyes connected, his icy blues staring into hers. “Bucky…” You whispered, her hands coming around to touch his cheek, her thumb resting on his chiseled jaw line. “Kiss me…”

Bucky instantly connected his to yours, with such ferocity that it almost knocked your breathe out of your chest. You cupped just face, gripping his long hair in your hands and tugged at it slightly. Bucky moaned in her mouth, biting down on your bottom lip. You could feel this cock growing underneath his thin pajama pants, which just made you more eager for his touch. He moved his lips from yours to your neck, biting down and sucking, marking you.

His large hands squeezed your hips and pulled you in closer, your core rubbing up against his cock. The two of you moaned in unison at the contact. One hand left your hip, and traveled up your night shirt, cupping your breasts. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched you like this. And neither could Bucky. So you were both desperate and needy, itching for release and satisfaction.

“I hear you at night, ya know.” Bucky growled against your neck, send vibrations to your skull. “The way you moan my name, fucking your tight little pussy with your toy.” Y/N shivered, her face turning red. “Are you gonna moan like that for me tonight, hmmm doll?” His normal hand pinched your nipple, pulling on it a bit. You hips rutted against his, dying for his touch. “Or are you gonna be so fucked out you won’t be able to speak?”

“B-Bucky.” You whimpered. “Please. Touch me.” He chuckled darkly, his metal hand dipping past your waistline. You could feel your heartbeat down in your cunt. His cold hand against your heat made you hiss in both pleasure and shock.

“Oh doll you’re drenched.” He muttered, his fingers rubbing your lips. “Was this all for me?”

“Y-yes.” You whined. He chuckled again and inserted a finger, stopping at his first knuckle. “Please, Bucky.” He pushed forward slowly and then slowly dragged in bag out. You groaned in protest and opened your mouth to say something, but was cut off by him fully putting his fingers in. “Oh, fuck!” You gasped.

As his index finger pushed in and out of you, his thumb gently rubbed your clit, making slow and deliberate circles. You could feel your walls tightening around him, the cord inside of you pulling tighter and tighter. Before you were able to come, he pulled out and sucked his finger, humming.

“What-”

“You only get to cum on my face or on my cock.” He growled, grabbing the back of your thighs. He suddenly stood up and carried you over to the couch, setting you down gently. You rid yourself of your shirt and removed Buckys as well, tossing them somewhere behind the couch. He knelt down in front of you, latching his mouth to your tits. Your back arched and you let out a guttural groan. “How are you so perfect?” He said through a mouth full of your breasts. You smiled shyly and ran your hands through his hair.

“I’m not.” You hummed.

“I’ll show you how perfect you really are, then.” His lips traveled down your stomach, kissing and biting as he went. He stopped just below your navel and grabbed your underwear with his teeth, dragging them off of you. The cold air that hit your pussy made you shiver, sending goosebumps up your arms. Bucky tossed your legs over his bare shoulders and peered up at you. His eyes were blown with lust and need. “You know,” Bucky said as he kissed your inner thigh. “When you’re touching this pretty little pussy-” His lips ghosted over your core which coaxed a moan out of you. “I touch myself too.” He kissed your other thigh. “Pretending it’s my cock that’s making you moan and cry like that.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he hovered over your clit, your stomach doing loops at the thought of Bucky chasing after his own orgasm while listening to you. One of his thick fingers slowly dragged down your slick and inserted it at a agonizing slow pace. You whimpered and bit down on your bottom lip.

“Beg for it.” You heard him whisper.

“Bucky please.” You cried. “P-please I need to cum please.” His pace didn’t change any. “Fuck Bucky- baby- please do something-”

He snarled at the words that were spilling out of your mouth, and began lapping up your juices with such ferocity that you thought he was starving. His fingers pumped in and out of you, curling ever so slightly to hit that sweet spot. Your mouth hung open in an O shape as he worked you, unable to string any piece of thought together. That cord in your belly began pulling tighter and tighter and your ears began to ring.

When the cord snapped, you saw stars and fireworks shoot off behind your eye lids. Your body twisted around Buckys mouth and he reached up, pinning your hips to the couch. “Oh fuck!” You panted. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Bucky pulled away after riding out your high, leaving you with an empty feeling inside. He sat back on his heels with a smirk on his face. His beard glistened with your cum, and it dribbled down his chest.

“Always knew you were a squirter, doll.” He grinned, licking his fingers. “Hmmm, so sweet.” You felt a blush creep across your cheeks. "Oh no, doll. Don't be embarrassed, it's so fucking hot."

His sat up and placed his arms on either side of your head, using the back of the couch for support. You could feel his achingly hard member rub across your cunt. Reaching down, you palmed at him and your eyes widened. Bucky was absolutely hung. He laughed at your reaction. There was no way he could possibly fit all of that inside of you without completely ruining you.

"Y/N." He said, his tone dropping. Your eyes found his. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop if you-"

You cut his sentence off by leaning up and kissing him. He sighed contently and kissed you back softly. His normal hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers traveling to the back of your head. You pulled away, chest rising and falling hard.

Bucky smiled sweetly at his as he shimmed out of his pants. You sat up and reached for his cock, wanting to return the favor of you giving him head. He suddenly snatched your wrists, pinning them above your head.

"Nuhuh, I want to pleasure you tonight. You can suck me off another time." He winked at you, and you grinned to yourself. So this wouldn't be one time thing, huh? Bucky spat in in the palm of his hand, and rubbed it up and down his cock. Salty precum was already leaking off of his angry red tip. "If I hurt you baby please say something." You nodded up at him.

His cock poked at your entrance and he slowly pushed into you. You hissed at the sudden intrusion, trying to relax yourself around him. You both moaned as he bottomed out inside of you, his tip poking at your cervix.

"Your so fucking tight." He whimpered, his head falling in the crook of your neck. "Feels so good around my cock, doll." He slowly pulled back out, and pushed back in at the same pace. "How you expect me to last long when you feel this good?"

You smirked and wrapped your legs around his waste, allowing him to feel and different angle. He growled into your neck, his hips picking up the pace. Moaning, you gripped his broad shoulders, your nails pressing into his skin. "So fucking perfect." He whispered. "So good, so mine."

"I'm gonna cum again." You whined, clawing at his back. He moaned, his hips snapping faster. "Oh fuck, oh shit."

Just as you were about to release, he fully pulled out of you and knelt down. He delved down to your core, lips sucking your clit. You whined and grabbed his hair tugging at it. You felt the cord snap again and your vision blurred as you came, chanting Bucky's name.

Coming down from your high, you grabbed Bucky by his shoulders and forced him to lay down on the couch. You leaned down and smashed your lips on his, tasting yourself on his tongue. Still kissing you, you leveled yourself down on his cock and plunged down on it. He groaned, his hands finding your hips. You pulled away from his mouth and pressed your forehead into his.

You could feel his cock pulsing against your velvet walls, encouraging you to move. You lifted your hips up and brought them back down, and a breathy moan escaped your lips. You worked his cock slowly at first, loving the expressions Bucky made as you fucked yourself on his cock.

You rocked your hips forward and backwards, drowning in the feeling it brought you. Pure ecstasy was the only way you could describe it. You could feel your walls clamping down on him as another orgasm was rapidly approaching.

"You gonna cum around my cock, baby doll?" He whispered into your ear, nibbling at your lobe. His sweet nothings brought you closer and closer to your release. Bucky suddenly lifted you up by your ass and slammed into you. You gasped and held onto his shoulders for support. "Oh I love that face. It's so perfect." He growled, his cock splitting you down the middle. "You gonna cum again, love?" You nodded fervently. "Then cum for me. Let me see that pretty face."

You cried out, walls spasming around him. Your moans mixed together and Bucky began desperately chasing after his own release. You collapsed onto his chest, a sob ripping through your chest as he came inside you.

"Oh fuck, you feel so good. Taking all my cum like a good little girl." He growled. "Shit-oh fuck! Fuck, doll!" His warm cum spilled into you, causing you to moan tiredly. It felt so good.

He made a few more lazy strokes before slowly lifting you off of him, and onto the couch. He got up and walked over to the kitchenette, grabbed a towel and a glass of water. You spread your legs for him and he dabbed at the cum that was leaking out of you, and handed you the glass. You gulped it down, feeling completely dehydrated. You handed the glass back to Bucky and he finished the rest before setting it down on the coffee table.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had." You whispered, lips creeping onto your tired face. Bucky grinned and pulled you into a hug, laying back down on the couch.

"We're only getting started, Y/N." He pulled the blanket over top of you and pressed a kiss into your temple. "So perfect." He mumbled into your hair.

The two of you must have dozed off because when you woke back up, you heard sniggering.

"That's what those noises were last night." You heard a voice say. It was Sam.

"I did not need to see Barn's bare ass at 7 in the morning. No- scratch that. I did not need to see Barn's ass period." Tony groaned. You pulled your head out of the crook of Bucky's neck and looked up. Tony, Sam, and Steve stood in front of the TV, looking at the scene in front of them.

"At least he's getting some, Tony." Steve snorted.

"And gonna get plenty more." Bucky said, his voice full of morning sleep.

He pulled away from you and stood up from the couch. You heard Tony protest, saying something about not wanting to see Bucky naked. He wrapped you up in the blanket, carefully to make sure none of the other men saw you, and threw you over his shoulder. You waved and smiled at them as Bucky walked off towards his room.

"G’moring! Have fun on your jog!"

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: Su!c!de attempt, graphic description of bl00d, mentions of death, medical procedure talk, loss of pregnancy, PTSD, lots and lots of angst, mentions of drinking.

Female!reader, love triangle with Steve and Bucky (kinda?)

Word count: roughly 2,076

Please don't read if any of these warnings will trigger you :)

I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME

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Bucky's eyes snapped open, his advanced hearing honing in on the soft wails coming from down the hall. It was you, it always you. He inhaled sharply and pushed himself out of his warm bed, his dog tags clinking against his bare chest. It gets worse when Steve isn't here; your night terrors. He's the only one that can rock you back to sleep, soothing your tear stained cheeks and calming your raging mind. Bucky isn't very good at it, but he can get the job done.

His door slid open and he walked quietly down the hallway, careful not to wake anybody else up. Tony had to semi soundproof your room. When you first came to live in the compound, your screams would keep everyone up all night. Now only Bucky and Steve could hear your cries, which often made for sleepless nights. But lately it’s been getting better, which he was thankful for. Both for your sake and his sake.

Bucky stopped in front of your door, expecting it to just slide open like it normally does. But it didn't. Confused, he waved his hand in front of the sensor but it didn't budge. "Friday?" He yawned, annoyed. What couldn't Tony just put in normal doors? They're so much simpler. "What's wrong with the door?"

"It seems that Ms. Y/L/N has locked it." Strange. You never lock it.

"Well, unlock it." He snapped back at the AI.

"I cannot. She has over-ridden my capabilities to unlock it."

"What?" Bucky asked, suddenly more awake. The hairs on his arms stood up and a gut wrenching feeling began to churn in his stomach. He could hear you on the other side, still crying. "Y/N!" Bucky yelled pounding on the door. The cries grew harder. "Y/N open the door!"

"Go away!" You screamed. "Just go!" This wasn't a night terror, you were awake. “I don’t need you, Bucky!”

"Friday, get Tony down here." Bucky yelled, pounding on the door again. "Y/N please just open the door! Let me help!"

"Don't need your help." There was the sound of the bathtub starting up. "Just go."

"Bucky,” A tired voice groaned from behind him. Sam. "It's 2:30 in the morning, why in the hell are you screaming."

"Y/N locked us out." He muttered, pressing his ear against the door. He could hear you whimpering on the other side. "Friday can't open it."

"Friday, get Tony-"

"He is on his way." She replied back. "Ms. Y/N also disabled her cameras. I can't see inside there either."

"Y/N!" Bucky tried again, his voice cracking just enough for him to notice. Hopefully not enough for Sam to notice.

"Does someone wanna tell me why I am down here in the middle of the god damn night?" Another voice said behind them.

"Just get the fucking door open." Bucky snarled. Tony took note of the worry and urgency in his voice and unlatched a panel that was next to the door. He moved some wires around and the door hissed open.

Bucky rushed in and the state of your room hit him like a truck. It was a wreak. Your mattress was halfway off of its frame, your dresser was knocked over with all the clothes torn out, and there was a smashed chair in the corner. You had also punched out your mirror, making Bucky's footsteps crunch as he walked through her room. How did he not hear this? Why didn't he wake up? But that's not what bothered Bucky. His nose instantly picked up on a coppery smell that stung the inside of his nostrils, making him instantly nauseous. He pushed into the bathroom, where somehow the cupboard was shoved in front of.

The sight before him was enough to make him cry and vomit at the same time. You were submerged in the bathtub, the water stained a bright red color. A long shard of glass from the mirror was laying on the floor, stained with your crimson blood. Two deep long cuts had been carved into your forearms. The ringing in his ears slowly subsided and he heard the sound of either Tony or Sam dry heaving behind him. He wasn't sure who it was.

"Friday, prep medical bay. Get Banners ass up. Now." He heard Tony growl.

Bucky sunk to his knees, his sweatpants become stained with the blood soaked water that had sloshed over the edge. "Y/N." He muttered. She was pale. Too pale. "Y/N!" He yelled grabbing her by the shoulders. “Open your fucking eyes and look at me!" You didn't open her eyes, the only movement was coming from your chest. You were taking quick short breaths, which Bucky figured wasn't good. "Please don't do this to me, please. I need you, fuck-" He choked back a sob.

"Buck, we have to get her down to-" Before Sam could finish his sentence, Bucky was lifting you out of the water and took off towards the med bay.

Banner was already down there, a suturing kit already laid out. "How much blood has she lost?" He asked immediately as soon as Bucky came barreling through the doorway.

"A lot." Was all he could manage. He carefully laid you down on the cot. His thoughts were going a mile a minute. You were supposed to be getting better. Sam and Banner were supposed to be helping you, the therapy was supposed to be helping. Not killing you. Why wasn’t it helping? Why were you so selfish? How could you do that to us? To me, to Steve. To this whole team?

"Well good thing most of the team is A Positive so we have some on standby for her." Banner said. Bucky wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

Banner flushed out your wounds with what looked like water, and carefully began to stitch you up. Bucky noticed the slight shaking in his wrist and he pulled your skin together.

"Where is Steve?" Bucky whispered to Tony, not taking his eyes off of Y/N and Banner. For once, you looked like you were at peace. Your features were smoothed and relaxed, nothing like your previous state.

"His teams on their way back. ETA 4 hours." Tony whispered back.

A heavy silence fell over the med bay. Bucky felt drained. He couldn't keep his thought straight in his head, and it was numbing. He just kept asking the same thing. Why? You were doing so good. You were laughing, smiling, and actually making progress to talk to people outside your comfort zone. Of course you were still having night terrors, Sam said those wouldn't go away for a long time. But other than that you were fine. You said you were fine. He couldn't understand why.

Banner was done with one side. He moved over to the other and began to repeat the process, but one of the machines she was hooked up to began beeping rapidly. His head snapped up and his brows furrowed.

"Friday do a full body scan please." He grunted.

"What? What's wrong?" Bucky pleaded, his skin tightening and his stomach doing loops.

"Blood pressure is dropping. Not good." Was all he heard over the several machines firing at once.

"There is hemorrhaging. Location: uterus." Friday said back. "Surgery is recommended."

Banner quickly finished the last of the sutures and yanked your water and blood soaked sweatpants off. There was a large amount of blood pooling in between your legs.

"Bruce what is that?" Bucky yelled rushing over to them. "What's wrong with her, did she stab herself there?" He felt like he was going to vomit.

"Bucky-" He started as he fumbled with some tubing.

"What are you doing to her?!" Bucky yelled again his voice become more and more distressed. "You're gonna kill her please help her!"

"Tony get him the hell out of here!" Banner screamed finally, the Hulks voice peaking behind his anger and frustration.

Bucky was being yanked out of the bay by Sam and Tony. He could fight back easily, fight them off so he could be with you. But his legs were so shaky he could hardly stand on his own two feet. The windows that looked into the bay dimmed and Bucky caught one last look as Banner yanked down Y/N's underwear. A sob escaped from Buckys lips as he crumpled to the ground. What was happening now? Y/N must be so scared. He was so scared.

He felt that hot tears prick at his cheeks and dribbled down into his beard hair. He was crying. Crying for the first time in who knows how long. He couldn't loose you. You were the only one who truly understood Bucky. You meant too much to him.

"Buck-" Sam started but Bucky just cut him off.

"Leave me alone." He sobbed. It felt like a metal pipe had been shoved down Buckys throat. He couldn’t breathe. "Please just go away." Tony and Sam shared a look before the disappeared down the hallway.

He sat there for what seemed like days. But it was only hours. Soon enough Steve came jogging down the hallway to where Bucky sat.

"Buck." Steve gasped, kneeling down next to him. "What happened?"

"I thought she was having a night terrors." Bucky's voice was raw and it hurt to swallow. The crying must have stopped hours ago, but he couldn't remember when it ended. "But she locked me out. Tried to...tried to..."

"Oh god." Steve whimpered, understanding what he was saying. “Is she...?" Bucky shook his head.

"She started bleeding. I think Banners still doing surgery." Steve's face was screwed tightly together as he stood back up. Bucky couldn't tell what he was feeling. He paced the hallway for a bit before he slid down against the wall across from Bucky, his eyes blankly staring at the door. He could see the trembling in his chest when he inhaled.

They sat there in silence for about another hour, when suddenly, the doors to the med bay swung open. Banners eyes fell on them. He sighed heavily and put his hands in his pockets.

"What? What is it?" Bucky pleaded getting to his feet, which caused Steve to stand up.

"Is she okay?" Steve asked, his brows closely knit together.

"Yeah. She's stable. Woke up for a few minutes but she's sleeping now. I had to give her some medicine to calm her down. And I had to..." He trailed off. "Restrain her. She's very agitated." Bruce exhaled and wrung his hands together.

"Then what happened? Why did you have to do surgery." Bucky prodded. He could tell Banner was hiding something.

"The bleeding was caused by a mixture of shock and her blood pressure tanking. I couldn't-" He cleared his throat like he was keeping back tears. "I couldn't save the fetus. She miscarried."

It felt like someone had punched Bucky in the gut. Fetus? Miscarried? She was pregnant?

"From what I could tell she was about 15 weeks along. I ran the DNA because I wasn't...I wasn't sure who the father was."

"I had a child?" Steve whimpered. Tears were falling freely down his face.

"No, Steve.” He whispered softly. “Bucky, it was yours.”

"What? No. That's impossible." Steve scoffed. "You must have your science shit mixed up. There is no way."

"No, he's right." Bucky whispered, absolute shocking talking grip of his body.

"I'm sorry. It was a boy."

"What? No. No! It's wrong. Go test it again Banner! I know it's wrong!"

"Steve-"

"You were fucking her?!" Steve screamed, turning to Bucky. "You knew I was in love with her and you were fucking her?!"

"It was once Steve! Almost 3 months ago! We were drunk and you were away on a mission and I came onto her!" Bucky bargained, staring into the flames of his best friend’s eyes.

"You fucked my girl! My girl!" Steve was irate, barely able to contain himself.

"She isn't yours Steve, you're not even together!"

"I told her that I loved her! And you went and fucked her anyway! What, do you always follow your dick!? I bet that's why she refuses to look at you!"

"No, she told me that she loved me!" Bucky screamed back, his voice echoing in the hallway as silence washed over them. Bucky took a deep breath. "She said it first. And I told her it was a mistake and should be with you." He said quietly.

Steve let out an animalistic growl, and his fist made contact with the side of Bucky's cheek and the back of his head smashed against the wall.

"I love you Bucky." Y/N's soft voice said. Your head was currently buried in Bucky's bare chest. "It's you. It's always has been." You whispered.

Bucky reached down and cupped her cheek, making you look at him. He has been waiting to hear that since they first met. He didn't believe in love at first sight but ever since he first laid eyes on you, he started to believe.

"You don't mean that, doll." He muttered back. Alcohol was still running its course through their bodies. "You're drunk."

"Drunk words are a sober mans thoughts."

"Y/N-"

"I want you Bucky. Just you. No more going back and forth between you and Steve. I can't do that anymore, Bucky. Please believe me." You pleaded, your large eyes staring into his.

"You deserve someone like Steve, not like me. You can't love me." He sighed, letting go of your face.

"I love Steve. He’s amazing and kind, but I love I have for him isn’t like how I love you.”

"No. You love the thought of me." He snapped, rising off the bed. "But you don't love me Y/N. I promise you, you don't. You shouldn't." He gathered his clothes from the floor and shimmied into them. He reached the door and stopped at the sound of your voice.

"But-" Bucky winced at the sound of your voice as it was filling with tears.

"I'm sorry." He whispered turning away, his own eyes brimming with tears. "I don't deserve you. You can't love me. I'm sorry."

part 2

Disarmed | Bucky Barnes x Reader

After the events of the GOTG holiday special, I think we all know where this came from and where it’s going…

I have not been able to stop thinking about how this actually went down for Bucky. And it makes me sad.

Warnings: violence, injuries, pain, blood, Bucky’s arm, home invasion

No answer followed your knocking. Just silence. No movement from inside the apartment. 

Another round of knocks echoed through the quiet hall. Again, silence. 

“Buck? It’s me…”

You leaned against the door, listening for any sign of life. And finally, soft steps made their way in your direction. A deep sigh came from behind the wood. 

Checking in on Bucky like this always made you feel like a bit of a bother. You never wanted to irritate him or make him feel like a child. But you liked knowing he was alright. And he never seemed to mind. He even welcomed your unannounced drop-ins. Bucky liked knowing that someone- anyone- cared about him. He just couldn’t believe you, of all people, were that ‘someone’. 

The metallic rattling sound of Bucky undoing his door’s chain brought a smile to your face. Sure, he’d gone radio silent. He’d ignored your texts and calls all day and skipped out on your lunch plans. But he had a lot on his plate. And even as he worked through his issues and eliminated some of his mental load, more problems often materialized out of nowhere. And so, you granted him grace. You didn’t chastise him or nag him for drawing in on himself. He was doing his very best, and you only wanted to help.

Bucky tentatively pulled open the door a sliver, granting you a view of only half his body. He looked tired, dejected. But he smiled when he saw you- he couldn’t help it. “Hey, doll…” 

“Hey, I was-” You noticed a large scrape running the length of his arm, a bruise resting below his eye. “Woah- what happened? I just saw you yesterday…” Anxiety flooded your system- he was okay less than twenty-four hours ago. How did this happen? And when? 

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All in My Head | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! This was a request from @breakablebarnes, who described this ic idea as "dark and meta", so obviously I'm here for it.

Send me your comments, requests, and / or suggestions! 🥰

Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes@glxwingrxse @psychoticmason @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @lonewolf471 💘

"Your eyes are glowing and I'm holding your hand You ask if I'll run with you up to the edge Hands on my waist and fingers running through hair Well, I know that it's all in my head...

If the stars ain't showing, the whiskey ain't burning Well, I'm still gonna be your girl When we both stop growing and they dig us deep Yeah, I'm still gonna be your girl..."

The light of the sunset had your apartment glowing gold. Bucky's body leaned up against yours, letting you play with his hair while the two of you watched the classic Gene Kelly musical, Singin' in the Rain. As Gene Kelley swept Debbie Reynolds into his arms near the end of You Were Meant for Me, Bucky nuzzled in closer to you. "How have I not taken you dancing yet, sweets?" he asked as he turned to face you. An unexpected chuckle fell from your lips at his question, making him cock his head to the side with confusion.

"Buck, I don't have any idea where- people don't really go dancing anymore. If you go dancing these days, it's at like, a rave or a nightclub" you told him, "I'm sure that's not the kind of dancing you're looking for." A disappointed frown twisted his lips downward and he sighed out a huff. Then, without a word, he was up off of the couch.

He turned off the tv and pushed the coffee table out of the way with no effort at all, creating a makeshift dance floor right in the middle of your living room. He flew across the room to his record player and pulled out his favorite Frank Sinatra record, letting the sweet sound of your favorite Sinatra song, Be Careful, it's My Heart slowly fade in through the crackling and popping of the record.

"May I have this dance, gorgeous?" Bucky asked as he offered you his shiny vibranium hand. A warm sensation took over your cheeks as you accepted his proposal, letting him pull you up off the couch and into his arms. His hand found your waist and yours wrapped around his neck as the two of you began to move with the music. "I don't think anyone's ever asked me to dance before..." you murmured against his chest, making Bucky stop moving completely.

"Oh, doll. That's criminal," Bucky said, clearly disturbed by your confession, "if you were my girl back in the day...I would've taken you dancing every Friday night- would've bribed the band to play a slow one for us". He pulled you tighter against his body and hummed in approval at his favorite sensation: your body pressed against his. "I'm glad I found you now, though..." he continued, "there's no way I ever could've left for the war if you were my girl. Probably would've ended up a draft dodger". The thought of Bucky leaving for the war, being gone from you for so long and in such a dangerous situation, made you press yourself even closer to him. You let your eyes close as you rested your head against his warm chest, listening to his heartbeat and letting it remind you that he was right there with you.

"I would've waited for you, Buck," you murmured against his chest, "I would've written you letters and counted down the days until I got to see you again". Your promise hit Bucky strangely, reminding him that he never would've even gotten the chance to come home to you. He quickly swatted the thought from his mind, instead quietly singing along with the music:

"Remember it's my heart. The heart with which so willingly I part. It's yours to take to keep or break, But please, before you start, Be careful, it's my heart."

He crooned along with Sinatra until the song ended, being replaced with more crackling and popping sounds.

When the warmth of Bucky's body began to fade from your touch, you allowed your eyes to slowly flicker open.

Before you sat your living room-dark, empty, cold. The coffee table sat in its correct position- not shoved out of the way to make room for a dance floor- and there was no record player in the corner. The only light in the room came from the screen of the laptop that sat balanced on your thighs. Your hands remained frozen, poised over the keyboard and ready to type. The flickering of the cursor on your screen drew your attention as you read the last sentence of your fic over again:

"He crooned along with Sinatra until the song ended, being replaced with more crackling and popping sounds".

A sudden ache took root in your chest, filling you with a sense of loss, a sense of loneliness. It had felt so real- you could’ve sworn you were really there with Bucky, slow dancing in your living room. The emptiness you felt at his absence clawed at your heart and ripped it to shreds, leaving you hollow. Not only was this man not in your arms, he wasn’t even real. Something resembling grief took hold of you, as you yearned for the touch of a person you’d never meet. You mourned his smile, his gentle touch, his oceanic eyes, the way he held you close-

Only one thing could take the awful sensation away, and so you let your eyes close once again, diving back into the world in which you were Bucky's girl- the world that was all in your head.