Billie Eilish X Reader - Blog Posts

hit me soft i’m hard or whatever it’s called

six feet deep or whatever the song says😩😩

her fingers omg i can’t

unreal

a/n: just a little idea i had a while ago because i saw a video where billies pigtails/buns were moving when she moved on stage, and it got me thinking😞 (and i’d just like to add, i love that people send me requests, but i’m currently not taking requests so if you’re still sending me them, yes i will answer them but not for a while because i have a lot i would like to get posted on here and i have exams starting next month which i need to focus on. and i don’t know when i’ll be taking requests again, but i’ll try to make it as soon as i can. i love you all and i appreciate you always🩷)

the second billie got off stage, she ran to me. her arms flew around me, holding me in a tight hug. her once neat buns, now messy from all the jumping around she’d done. yet she still looked so beautiful.

it felt like it took forever to get home, from sorting everything out backstage, to the drive home. it felt like longer than it should have. i needed billie. there was just something about how perfect she looked. i couldn’t help myself.

the second we stepped into our shared room, i practically pounced on her. my lips were pressed harshly against hers in a hungry kiss. she let out a surprised gasp at the sudden action, but soon reciprocated. the kiss was messy, and desperate, billies whines filling the room when i gently sat her down on the bed.

i tugged at her clothes, our lips still attached. it took me a minute or so as my hands scrambled, trying to get her clothes off. i soon succeeded, though, taking mine off barely seconds later.

“bil.. i want you to ride me.” i breathed out, cupping her face in my warm hands, “please?”

she nodded in response, pulling me into another deep kiss, before i moved to grab the strap. i struggled to attach it to my hips because of my shaky hands, but the second it was on i was on the bed. my back leaned against the soft pillows, while my hands reached out to billie.

she soon came over, her knees planted either side of me as the rest of her body hovered slightly above the strap. i held her hip with one hand, and the strap in my other, then carefully guided her so that the tip was pressed against her entrance. when i ran it through her folds, i heard her let out a breathy moan, her wetness coating it.

i let it run up to her clit, lightly pressing against it before moving back down again.

“please.” she whined, placing her hands on my stomach.

in one quick movement, i pushed inside her, earning a loud moan from her. my free hand found her other hip, helping her find a steady pace. it wasn’t until she sped up that i noticed. every time she bounced, her space buns did too. although they were already messy, it made her look even more perfect. my eyes were glued on her, moving over her body, starting at her thighs, up to her core, then her stomach, her tits, her pretty face, and her hair moving with every bounce.

“there you go baby, you look so beautiful.” i groaned, unable to take my eyes off her face. her cheeks were flushed and her pupils wide.

“i’m gonna- i’m close..” her hands pressed harder against my stomach.

“go ahead angel, i’ve got you just let it out.”

when her orgasm approached, her movements got slightly slower, and weaker as she tried to get herself there. i could tell she was close from the way her eyelids drooped a little, and her moans got the tiniest bit higher in pitch. i held onto her hips a bit tighter and thrusted up into her. she let out sweet whines, her arms giving way, leaving her basically laid against my front with her legs either side of me.

“that’s it, you’re doing so good. really proud of you, my love.” i spoke, kissing her head as i talked her through it.

i didn’t stop what i was doing, not until i felt her juices dripping down the strap, and onto my thighs. her moans got breathy and quieter in my ear while she came down from her high. one of my hands came up to stroke her back, while to other stayed on her hip to keep her still. i knew she’d be sensitive so i didn’t want to move her around too much just yet.

i held her in my arms for around ten minutes, before deciding that it was time to shower. the rhythmic movements of my hand along her back stopped, allowing my hand to move to her hair and push it out of her face, which was hidden against my shoulder.

“bils? you okay?”

i felt her nod and groan quietly, making me smile. i could tell how exhausted she was, but i wanted to make sure she felt fresh when she woke up.

“you were so good for me. my perfect girl. can we get up to have a quick shower? i know you’re super tired but it’ll make you feel so much better and you’ll be nice and clean.” i spoke into her hair before placing a small kiss against the top of her head.

“can i sleep when we’re done?” she mumbled, holding me tighter.

“of course.” i smiled and helped her sit up before slowly lifting her off the strap.

she whined a little from the feeling, waiting for me to take the strap off before i lifted her into my arms. when we reached the bathroom, i set her down on the counter for a minute or so, hearing her wince at the feeling of the cold tiles against her bare skin.

“sorry, love.” i whispered, pressing gentle kisses to her lips as i waited for the shower to reach the perfect temperature.

while we were waiting, i carefully took her buns out, although they were almost out by now from all of the moving.

“thank you, baby. i needed this. i love you so much.” i heard her speak when i helped her into the shower.

“no need to thank me. i love you always bils.” i smiled at her words and followed soon after her.

i lathered shampoo into her hair, then mine after i’d rinsed it out for her, before conditioning the ends. i also lathered the body wash over her, before allowing her to do the same for me. when we’d finished in the shower, i made sure our faces were also washed, our teeth were brushed, before we got back into bed.

we practically curled up against eachother, billie falling asleep almost right away, while i stayed up a little longer to make sure she was alright, before drifting off to sleep too.

I LOVE THIS

You better lock your phone

and look at me when you're alone

Billie Eilish x reader

The low hum of your phone vibrates in your palm, thumb idly scrolling. Blue light flickers in the otherwise dim room, the only other glow coming from Billie’s screen across from you. She’s curled in her desk chair, legs pulled up loosely, chin tucked into her knee. But she’s not scrolling. Hasn’t been for minutes.

She’s watching you.

Her gaze is steady, almost too steady, quietly intense in the way only Billie can be. A slow, deliberate stare that feels like a hand around your throat even from across the room. You feel it before you see it, a shift in the air. A weight. Her silence speaks in volumes: look at me.

You don’t. You keep scrolling, pretending not to notice the simmering heat between you.

The chair creaks as she shifts. You glance up. Just for a second.

Her lips twitch in a barely-there smirk.

Then she gets up.

She walks slowly, barefoot on hardwood, her steps purposeful but casual. Her tank top hangs low, loose around her ribs, the thin strap threatening to slip off one shoulder. When she climbs into bed beside you, she doesn’t say a word. She just lets her fingers ghost along your arm, slow strokes up and down like she’s not doing anything at all.

Still, you don’t look up.

She leans in, close to your ear, her breath warm and sweet. “You better lock your phone…”

Her voice is honeyed sin, low and smooth, each word a drag. You shiver.

“…and look at me when you’re alone.”

Your screen goes dark.

She climbs over your lap, slow and deliberate, straddling your hips and pulling your phone from your hand, dropping it somewhere off the bed. You finally look up at her, and fuck—her pupils are blown, lips parted, cheeks flushed already from anticipation alone. Her arms drape over your shoulders, her body warm and soft against yours.

“You ignoring me?” she asks, like it’s not obvious what she’s doing, like her voice isn’t already fraying at the edges.

You lean back into the pillows, letting her settle fully on your lap, hands gripping her thighs. “Maybe.”

That’s when she really moves. She tilts your chin up, eyes locked with yours, and grinds, slow, deep, deliberate. You groan, head falling back, but she grabs your jaw, forces you to keep looking at her.

“No,” she whispers. “You watch.”

She rides your thigh lazily at first, just enough pressure to make her sigh, her body melting into yours. Your hands trail up her waist, her ribs, feeling her tremble. She kisses you slow, tasting like need and patience running out. Every time she moves her hips, you feel it in your whole body, heat pooling in your core like it’s yours, like you’re the one being touched.

She rolls her hips again, this time moaning into your mouth, and that’s it. You’re gone.

You push her back gently, let her fall into the pillows, and then you’re between her thighs. Her tank top rides up, panties already damp. You kiss up her thighs, slow, teasing, and she writhes beneath you, desperate. Her hands reach for your hair, guiding you closer.

“Please,” she whispers, and it’s breathless. Almost wrecked already.

You pull her panties to the side and bury your face between her legs.

She gasps, sharp, high-pitched, and you groan into her like you’ve been starving for this, like every soft whimper she makes is the only thing you’ll ever need again. Your tongue moves slow, languid, just how she likes it. You feel her fingers tangle in your hair, pulling, trembling, trying to ground herself.

She starts grinding up against your face, rhythm messy, and you let her. You want her to. You’re drunk on the way she tastes, the way she moans your name like she’s confessing something holy.

“Fuck, don’t stop...don’t stop, please—”

You don’t. You moan into her, let her come undone, your hands holding her thighs apart as she arches, writhes, loses control. Her voice is hoarse now, broken little cries that make your whole body throb. She comes hard, loud and shaking, and you don’t stop until she pushes at your head, overstimulated, twitching.

You kiss your way up her body, face flushed and soaked, eyes wild with hunger.

She looks at you like you just gave her the world.

And all you can do is smile, dazed and hungry, and say, “Next time, don’t make me wait so long to put my phone down.”

sobbing crying throwing up

WE HUG NOW 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚

authors note: this song has been stuck in my head for weeks

warnings: angst, divorce/breakup

you never wanted the money.

not the cars. not the spotlight. not the gated houses or the sold-out arenas. you would’ve lived in a tiny apartment, eating cereal on the floor every night if it meant waking up next to her—billie, the way she was before everything got loud.

she used to fall asleep with her head on your chest, murmuring lyrics into your skin like secrets. used to light up when she saw you walk into a room, like the whole world paused just long enough for her to memorize you again.

but somewhere along the way, the world stopped slowing down.

and she stopped looking up.

you started counting the days between her phone calls. between the nights she came home. between the moments you still felt like hers. you told yourself it was temporary. that fame came with distance, and distance didn’t mean detachment. you told yourself she’d remember.

but then came the fight.

you were sitting in the nursery, holding your daughter while she clung to your arm, the weight of the world pressing down on your chest. billie paced in front of you, her voice sharp, accusing.

“do you love me,” she asked, “or just the life i gave you?”

you didn’t have words. it hit you like a slap in the face, and all the breath left your lungs. you would’ve given everything up for her.

but in that moment, you realized she didn’t believe you. maybe she never did.

so you let her go.

the divorce was quiet. clinical. the kind where nothing catches fire but everything still burns.

she left the house. she left the crib. she left one thing behind—a beat-up old phone, screen cracked, tucked beneath the baby blanket in the rocker.

a single voice memo, labeled:

halley’s comet. for her.

you sat in the dim light of the nursery that night, holding your daughter to your chest, listening to billie’s voice crackle through the speaker.

“hi, baby girl. this is your song. i’ll always love you, even when i’m not there.”

she sang like she was still trying to hold on. and you cried like you already knew she wouldn’t.

your daughter is four now.

she runs everywhere instead of walking. she’s all questions and scraped knees and big, open-hearted feelings. she asks about the stars when she can’t sleep, says she feels safest when you hold her.

she knows the song by heart. you’ve played it for her every night since she was born. she calls it her song, like it was written by the universe just for her. and maybe, in a way, it was.

you’re driving her home from preschool one afternoon, the air warm, the sun soft on your arm, and the radio starts playing a song that makes your heart skip.

it’s halley’s comet.

not the voice memo. the full version. studio-polished. stripped-down and haunting and beautiful. billie’s voice, older now, but still her. still yours, somehow.

from the backseat, your daughter perks up, her voice sharp with recognition.

“mama… my song.”

you grip the steering wheel, the pressure of her words making your chest tighten.

she’s staring out the window, her small hand pressed to her chest like she’s holding something fragile, something sacred. and it is.

you force a smile, blinking back the tightness in your throat. “yeah, baby,” you whisper. “that’s your song.”

a week later, your phone buzzes.

someone sends you a clip from billie’s latest interview—she’s on a late-night talk show, radiant, untouchable. the interviewer brings you up like a distant memory, something forgotten.

“so, you and y/n. what happened there?”

billie laughs easily, like it’s nothing. like it’s a joke.

“oh, that. yeah. we ended it on mutual terms. it’s all good now.”

mutual.

like you didn’t stay awake for months, waiting for her to come home, waiting for her to see you again. like you didn’t rock your daughter to sleep, night after night, with the sound of billie’s voice in the dark, your heart breaking quietly every time. like you didn’t love her with every piece of yourself. like you still don’t, a little.

you pause the video.

the house is quiet. the laundry hums softly in the next room. your daughter’s asleep upstairs, her tiny body curled around a stuffed bunny, the old phone still tucked under her pillow.

you sit there, the glow of the screen fading to black.

and you think—

god, she really believes it was nothing.

you’re just thinking it’s a small thing that happened.the world ended when it happened to me.

taglist: @amara-eilish @bilswifee @iamnicoke @jayjaywetforbils @eloiseluvsbillie @bxllxebxtch | send me an ask, or comment if you want to be added to my taglist!

sorry i’m gone

i’m done i can’t do this anymore

Hello? How are the readers on Tumblr? I hope well. I’m here to invite you to check out my work. I’ve recently taken a break (still on it, but will be back soon). I used to write only for the "Scream" franchise, but now I’d like to write for other fandoms such as: Squid Game, Alice in Borderland, All of Us Are Dead, Arcane, Percy Jackson.

I would love to know if you could support my work, please! Thank you, dear ones.

insatiable hunger.

yearning yearning yearning, i write more of these little poem things than i do actual fan-fiction ‘m sorry </3 i hope you enjoy this too, though!!

—————————

i see her face. in the ever fast movement the spinning world around me makes, i always catch her face — she’s driven me mad.

wether it be her or not, i’m hungry, and the more i starve the more insatiable i am bound to get. i need to feel the warmth of her flesh beneath my own, purposeful fingers holding, kneading, gripping her in place right next to me.

right on to me.

right, being one with me. yeah, thats right..

i am hungry in a way no plate of food can fix, nothing can take this empty feeling away from me, someone can only fill it.

and she looks so pretty, my body wants her to be the one to fill it. my mind is sick and elsewhere, twisting every other face on the street to have the same curve of her lips, the sharpness of her eyes missing the gleam they get at the sight of me. oh how she loves me.

in a moment of such depravity the roles have no names attached and the bodily abilities are only for each others hands to touch. i wanted her to hold me by my hair, and i find myself gripping the back of her neck. i wanted her to greedily steal sounds from my lips to fill hers with, and i find myself devouring her every breath whole. i didn’t want her to do things to me anymore, i wanted her.

𝑺𝑻𝑨𝒀 𝑺𝑶𝑭𝑻,

𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑵.

A/N: okay bear with me, this is a ‘poem’ (i don’t know what else to call it) that i wrote and when i read over it i realised some girls here would appreciate this imagery with their own infatuations, so whilst its not written like fan-fiction i felt generous enough to share it and i hope at least 1 of you will like it, best part is that you can picture any one of your favourite girls!!! Instead of a name i call the other character “Pretty”, so keep that in mind while reading, and again, this isn’t written like fan-fiction, but still i would appreciate it if you gave it a shot and told me what you think ♡

tags: lesbian only, think anyone!, femme!r, metaphors, suggestive, nsfw undertones but they are so slight and hidden beneath the wordplay that i can’t really count this as nsfw, sadomasochistic in a way, did i forget something? Let me know!

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨ · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

I don’t want a cottage, i don’t want a life in simplicity and independency. I want a castle, i want an abandoned mansion adorned by vines hugging it long after solitude fell cold and loveless upon its very walls.

I want to hear the floors creak with every step, i want to hear the tremble of the floors effortlessly mirror the tremble of her legs, i want to have her, Pretty, and i want to keep her on her toes. I want, behind her gaze, to be as unpredictable as the grass around the mansion, a neglected ring of hues of green. Tall, short, eaten, rotten.

I want to give her the world, and i want to make her spin in the middle of it, i want to give her everything and make her feel like in a moment she could have nothing.

I want to make her dizzy and i want to make her euphoric, i want to see her scared and i want to hold her close, be the one to comfort her, Pretty.

I want our clothes to dance against each other when the weather drops and i take her out on walks, on the endless garden we’ve named ‘our hearts’ that no matter how long it’s been there for, untouched, unloved, uncared for, it just never seems to end.

I want her to let me tear her cotton fabrics apart and off, torn by grinding teeth and claw-like nails, hungry like a centuries-old vampire, lifetimes of self control and respect disintegrated in the very same time span Pretty’s clothes get ripped. Carefully laboured fabric, soft as freshly laved hair, made with the selfish, miserable thought of this granting them extra bread on their dinner plate.

And she would, she would let me tear her apart in one shared gaze. She would let me hold her and scratch her open, she would let me wound her because she knows i’ll be the one to heal her up again. And she knows i’ll do it before she can build the thought of asking me to.

She would let me darken her vision under the noon sun, heating and blinding. She would let me bruise her neck, violet splats trailing down her body like a rosemary. She would let me reach her depths and spin them around, it’d be nothing new to her, as long as her world is intertwined with mine she’s always spinning, she’s always dizzy. She would let me cradle her head as i treat her like fresh meat in aching, starved hands, because i’ve done so another hundred times, and each one she only seems more unwilted than the last.

Because she knows she’ll get me back.

Because she plans on making my darkest nights luminous, and she knows i’ll let her. The story is always the same; she unwraps me like a one-of-a-kind royal heirloom, her touches vigilant, precise on what she unfolds, what lies beneath her hands. And she knows i don’t fancy peace, her words forming clear juxtaposition to her touches, there are no blurred lines, my sense of touch and my sense of hearing are in two completely different words, and yet they co-exist in the pits of my stomach.

But like every child asking their parent to tell them a bedtime story, it doesn’t matter if its always the same, they always enjoy it the same. At the end of the day they fall asleep to it every time.

I’ll let her unwrap the lace off the corset, i’ll let her loosen every layer, watch the silks fall off my form, i’ll let her tell me the harshest things that leave my throat closing in on itself, as her hands soothe around my flesh getting me to ease up. She’ll rock me back and forth from being velvety to being cruel, i know it, and i will let her.

Because it takes two to dance, if you’re unable to match the other’s rhythm what’s the fun? It’s only enjoyable when you’re both having fun. 🫀

torment

-B.E.

A/N: teeny tiny blurb🍓

ᝰ🖋️: suggestive duh?!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

thighs clasped together, squirming on the couch with a fidget need at the tips of your fingers.

“whats wrong? something happen?” so caring, so sweetly worried,

“im tired, its getting late” so fake.

a head turning at the clock looking with a squint, a faint held-back smile with an undertone of amusement to it. “its winter, the sun is down but its eight. since when do you get tired so early?”

she knows, the avoiding of eye contact, the excess fidgeting, the subtle moving of your hips. just enough to get the energy out of them somehow, just enough to go by unnoticed if it weren’t her goal all evening to get you just like that.

“since the sun did too.” monotone, but pained. an ache at the cords to make your replied coherent. she wasn’t born yesterday, you’re not hanging out for the first time, its obvious. neutral facial expression with uneven breathing, focusing on anything ahead as long as its not her, blank stare, a deer in headlights.

but she wanted to hear it. “ohh is the poet becoming the poetry itself? well don’t let me stop you,” without looking at her you could tell she was smiling, “go on if you have to.” she knows.

no matter the courage or the amount of times you backwards count, you cant stand on your feet. you’ve been trying, for conversations now. “i-..” cutting your own self off, you tear your eyes off the frame on the wall, dragging them all the way to her. “i don’t think i physically can” cheeks set aflame, a shameful giggle making its way out your chest.

this friendship has always been playful, and each time it gets more and more effective - which is both good and bad. depending whose perspective you see it from.

even when she tries her best to not smile, her eyes always do. they always did, her mouth didn’t have to. “whys that? need help?” such a tone. what a tone. she knew just the right buttons to push, like a favourite video game, she knew just what to do, and she would know so even blind.

“fuck off.”

Masterlist !?

꩜ angst 𐙚 fluff 𓁺 smut

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི suggestive

…more to come

B.E. -

𐙚 A r t .

꩜ 𐙚 Run away from home, come home.

꩜ To a new beginning, with the same old feeling.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི torment

RANDOM ┆THINK ANYONE! -

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི suggestive smut practice (<- super short whoops might do smut someday tho)

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝒀 𝑺𝑶𝑭𝑻, 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑵.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི insatiable hunger.

so like ive never written smut and my writing is way different than any ive seen so i did some practice. and i expect feedback. 🧍‍♀️plus this isn’t about sm1 specific imagine it as you like

warnings(?): some pwp for the fuck of it, suggestive, sadomasochism, knife kink :3c, just a little sumsum

✦•······················•✦•···········································•✦•······················•✦

cold. so cold.

shivers down your spine making you feel like a scared cat, if you could focus on that look on her face you’d think you also look like one.

a half smile, bent brows, so many emotions flowing in and out the current of your faces right in front of each other.

eyes don’t meet, lips don’t speak, breathing unmatched and trembling feet.

sound of clothes ripping interrupt the heavy breathing and unstoppable thinking

“you’re doing so good,” all in one sigh

no matter how wide your eyes are, you cannot see anything anywhere, yet she can see everything, even if you’re not speaking, she can hear every thought and choked word.

eyes on the hand

that hand that holds the knife

face flushed, legs weak, but you’re already laying down, how much lower can you go?

your hands gripping on your skirt are more prone to bleeding than your knife-teased neck

“do you not have trust in me?”

those eyes, so soft-bent, so shiny. you know they’re not sincere, their shine matches the knives and they look like they can break you.

𝚃𝚘 𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐.

- B.E.

First request!!! Req by: @bilsluckyheart !! Thank you for your faith in me and i hope i didn’t disappoint <3

A/N: used one of my experiences and altered it some more!! Help!!

C/W: m*n mentioned, comphet implied, death mentioned (?), angst, hurt no comfort, no use of y/n, Billie referred to with her name instead of she once, hope i didn’t miss smt

Summary: You finally get a partner and as you said you didn’t care what they were like! You just wanted to not be alone. Is that what fulfils you? Is that what you expected to happen when you were finally “not alone?” Bet you didn’t expect to lose what you realised way too late was what you truly wanted there with you.

❀。 •*₊❀。 • *₊°。 ❀°· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° ❀。 •

A man, a man supposedly being your boyfriend but you can’t seem to help that you see him as a best friend more than anything. Sex feels rather like a playtime-pass time than intimacy - what’s supposed to be dates instead is like going out with your dad’s friend instead of your lover - being with him feels more suffocating than it does to be utterly alone.

Sick worried about your sexuality and cravings, controlling to the core. You needn’t have cut her off, did you? You didn’t like her like that, right?

Or was it just you being in denial? Have you thought how obvious it is when others hear how you talk to her, your tone, your blabbering, clinging onto every little detail ever just for the sake of a never-ending conversation. How your eyes light up the entire milky way the moment she looks your way, gives you attention, answers your texts, you you you in her mind you wanted it to be you.

And he saw that as a threat, his very own misery being contagiously inflicted to you, all in plain sight.

So many excuses for how he is- but you cant deny it. You don’t dare deny it, and you know it too.

The car rides you’d wish would lead to her, the friends you’d go out with you wished would include her, the indirect questions of his old friends in a flick of hope to hear about her.

She was never to be talked of again.

He broke up with you, why are you sad? Body shaking with devastation, tears running like real-life waterfalls, screams of a broken heart hope. You had only hoped you like him, you had only hoped you could convince yourself you like men, the way they like you. The closet shut so quick for the sake of being with someone for once, anyone.

It doesn’t take long until you realise you’re better without him, you aren’t miserable yourself, you were forced to be but yourself. The episodes and constant crying is over, your body has no one to reject anymore, so as the months go by, why do you still feel crashed?

Mind replaying the thoughts you had while dating him, how often you’d think of Billie, wish for her upon every shooting star, hoping your words would reach her under the same night sky.

You weren’t in love with her though? Right?

The times she’d laugh at your stupid jokes and you’d only grow warmer, all from inside out. The way she laughed at your idiotic jokes, eyes shut closed and uncontrollable irregular panting laughs, you felt your heart open up and flutter like a lotus. You weren’t breathing anymore - you were blooming.

Or how she would always react to you with a smile, no she wasn’t always happy, but she felt that way whenever you were in the picture.

You knew she wasn’t always happy, especially when you tried to contact her about a month after your breakup, after the breakup of probably the most pathetic relationship ever.

Her hometown being your own isn’t helping, with a new year of studies crawling in and summer days shortening she’s come to visit family and friends and you cant help but imagine every other girl she interacted with was you.

Stolen glances while passing by the street, yours were full head turns, trying to drink up as much of her as you can in that luck-pathed moment, whereas hers almost looked through you. Short and cold, like broken icicles used as daggers.

The eyes that once bent and twinkled with such a welcoming warmth you now find them leaving you breathless. The hands that once opened up like wings, fingers empty of their shiny rings, -something she always did knowing how the sensation makes you cringe unpleasantly- knowing she’s gonna see you, eager to be held by you contentedly, palms facing you with a silent request to hold them — now you see fallen, the only thing about them looking at you being the big shiny intimidating rings peeking from a fist.

The mud is dirty, the water is not the best. All kinds of things found around the pond taking a sip or a dip. But a lotus flower grows again tomorrow even cleaner than before. Why can’t she see it?

You a year ago today is nothing compared to you right now, you know what you are and what you want. So why is she suddenly scared to get wet? Why is every person attracted to the pond but her?

Everyone but the one you want.

The one person to bloom the lotus within you, the one to plant the lotus seed inside you, to keep it from rotting all along. She gave it life and left it with you to die.

Or at least you tell that yourself to feel better, better about the fact that you left her without a word and hoped for the best.

You hadn’t realised just how much time had passed, or that time had passed at all. Now out of your mind and back to your body, looking right at the entrance of a park, you hadn’t moved an inch since you looked back and was met with a killer gaze. The evening sky turning to yet another dark night. Were the nights always this cold?

You lean against the random buildings fence, state of shock unbothered. Your head tilts up as the breeze kisses past your features, thats when you realise your body has betrayed you yet again, wet cold teary cheeks.

Blink,, blink,,, blink… and you shot your eyes up ahead, the stars in the dark blue of the sky dancing along the hue of the endless horizon above and beyond, and for a moment you saw her eyes again, for a moment you saw her staring at you the way she used to. For a final moment before you felt your heart rip itself apart.

...

..

You had no outlet for your love to her, you didn’t have her. What was there to do with a feeling so tender that sucker punches your stomach the moment it sees the owner of it whole? A feeling that fights against your held back words and actions, trying to get out in any way, ends up finding that the only way out, is through.

There was no room for it. If you clung onto it, it would only destroy you.

𝐑𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.

- B.E.

AnoTHA ONE☝️ blurb leave me alone | again no use of names, just variations of “she” and “you”

A/n: did i get sad? Yes. Did i decide to make something out of it? Also yes. Is this projecting? Maybe.(Yes.) || I projected my tendency to literally run from home when i get too upset because i need to relieve my angrers energy into something thats not entirely destructive FHFEJJKS

i don’t know if this can be categorised as angst/comfort ?? But!!1!1!! (Its surrounded by comfort but whats comfort without the need for it)

Summary: You and Billie have been together long enough for her to see your vulnerable side, it didn’t take long to but it did take a lot of strength to. And this happens to be one of those times where you need nothing more in the world than to go home!

——･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─: *.☽ .* :─ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.——

A blurry road ahead, a big blob of blended colours and shapes danced to the sound of irregular nose-huffs. Forehead sweaty and a hefty backpack bouncing on your back.

You’ve gone this path countless times, by now you can go there blind. Your body remembers all the turns and miles. Like your body needs to reach the destination.

You hadn’t realised just how tiring running this whole thing was until she came in the view - until you saw that short, long haired woman standing right outside, waiting for you, the woman that always knows what you need.

Strict hard nose breaths soon turn into open mouthed pants, bouncing bag thrown to the ground somewhere, anywhere off you, and you finally let your rivers flow.

A melody of countless “i’m sorry”’s spilling out your mouth as soon as your body comes in touch with hers, pairs of hands holding the other body like their own lives depend on it, mutual emotion being held and shared in and through both bodies.

She’s seen you this way a number of times, she has not once thrown a rejection at your vulnerable emotions needs, but thats not enough for your overworking mind.

The lock of arms around your waist and up your back giving you a squeeze, shushing hushing noises coming to caress your ears - “shh its okay angel, its okay. I’m here with you, i am here for you.” - caring the same like a mother would to her child, or maybe a person who’s not quite full when their sweetheart isn’t.

Words that go in through your ears, and circulate along your insides as if made to soothe you whole, whats a painkiller better than love?

“I’m sorry.” you sighed with the loss of a last deep breath. Composing yourself to pull away, managing to turn your head to face her, face red like a tomato and makeup running all along.

“Its okay,” she gave a small chuckle looking back at you, an affectionate hand reaching out to hold your face. “I know.” A voice just above a whisper.

For a moment while you look into her eyes, you think you can almost feel them. Like your burning teary face can feel the breeze and like the darkening evening sky suddenly shines all its stars above her.

While you’re focused on her eyes you lose track of everything else - like the fact that your breathing is now calm, your shaking hands have turned gentle. She noticed those though, taking your hand in one of hers and your backpack in her other.

“So what do you wanna do?” ..

“Im feeling a movie”

“So movie night it is!”

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　

A r t .

- B.E.

Blurb :p | no use of any names for the characters, just “she” and “you”

a/n: first fanfic posted ever im so nervous | this was my yearning from some months ago i decided to make it into something more | please comment on your opinion on this im nervy

Not fluffy nor sexual but a secret third thing (sensual)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Have you got colour in your cheeks?

Leftover snack packets and crumbs of cookies and sugar littering the couch of the living room, clock read 12:38AM, its past midnight, yet for two girls with a sleep schedule as theirs, the night is still young, too young.

Family and friends long gone, others went home others went on dates, and another stayed behind to cherish this very moment.

Are there some aces up your sleeve?

Have you no idea that you’re in deep?

Laughs had hit the walls hours ago when they were once gathered up to 7, and even now at 2 laughs are still bouncing back and forth. Sneaky giggles and stupid jokes, unexplainable videos that just seem so funny when its late and for once youre not alone.

Energy drinks on the floor next to the bed and an annoyingly bright light hitting at the side to make up for the lack of sun, yet thats the last thing to bother you right now. Theres nothing that could actually bother you right now, not when you finally have her in front of you.

Ive dreamt about you nearly every night this week

Sketchbook in your lap, pencil in your hand and coloured pencils scattered along your side on the bed, criss crossed bodies mirroring each other face to face.

Even if your face wasn’t able to stay in one place. Even if your face couldn’t handle the urge to heat and melt your makeup off in the process, even if you couldn’t handle looking at her, as much as you couldn’t handle her looking at you.

How many secrets can you keep?

Your heart thumping in your chest the same way it does when you’re at a club next to the speaker, body shook with the beat of the speakers and the bass, and you couldn’t tell if its from the amount of energy drinks you’ve consumed this evening or her presence.

But this is better, oh this is way better, theres no eardrum-breaking noise, or people squished up together, stomach-stirring drinks, uncomfortable heels. None of that.

This is simply adrenaline in itself, it was the excitement pumping in your veins.

Cause theres this tune i found that makes me think of you somehow and i play it on repeat..

Emotions thumping at your heart and in your veins causing your blood to rush to your face, cheeks burning red, but the colour showed at your ears, palms so sweaty you hold your sketchbook carefully to not wet and bend the paper. Neck and collarbone stained with red rash spots, just how into her are you?

Shes not stupid now, you tell that to yourself to sleep better at night. She has noticed everything, a simple blood rush is nothing. The way you look at her when everyone is talking laughing and you’re quiet? When your choice of “recharging” your social battery is looking at and through her? When you’re alone and suddenly your voice drops to just above a whisper, sweeter than any sugarcoated candy? When you doodle her and her only out of so many people, there are 5 other people with you two, yet who do you draw the most? You spend all your effort and time on her, enjoyably so.

Until i fall asleep,

A hand picking up your own has a wave of goosebumps sent across your body, a wave of heat while doing so. An amused laugh breaks your gaze, from the mixed hands, up to her own stare.

Shes staring at you, and you’re wishing she would stare nowhere near you. The fear in your brain banging like a migraine, wordlessly telling you she sees it all, and the very same fear in your body, giving her all the confirmation she needs. Her eyes softening as her one-sided laughter dies down, and you’ve yet to actually see her. So far you have been too caught up in your own thoughts to see in front of you until now.

A hand holding your burning one to her also heated cheek, and a twinkle in her eye right between that blown out pupil and icy blue cloud that dances like the stars do on the dark night sky right outside the window.

“I knew you felt it too, Im not crazy to like you”

spillin’ drinks on my settee.

We need more reader inserts with a chronically ill reader. That’s it. That’s the post.

Do people still do song based fics? I used to love those but I don’t really see them around any more. Would yall be interested in me making a song list? As potential inspiration and stuff like that. If so also feel free to send in song suggestions in my request to add to it.

༘⋆ new year's with billie

"three... two... one... happy new year!"

the jubilant blare of party horns fills the room, mingling with the cheers and laughter of your friends. you glance up at the sky, sparkling with bright stars, as vibrant fireworks burst across the night. their dazzling colors paint the sky as their loud pops echo all around you.

finneas, your girlfriend's brother, pulls claudia into a warm embrace, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head.

you smile at the heartfelt moment, but your attention shifts as familiar arms wrap around you, drawing you into their comforting warmth. turning, you meet billie’s gaze, her eyes shimmering with affection and love.

your hands instinctively cup her face, your smile radiant as she gently squeezes your hips.

"i love you so much, pretty girl," she says, her voice soft and heartfelt. her gaze flickers to your lips before locking onto your eyes again, sincerity etched across her features. she tilts her head and leans in, her lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and passionate, overflowing with love.

"i love you too, billie," you murmur, your cheeks beginning to ache from the uncontainable smile she brings to your face. "so, so much."

her voice drops to a gentle whisper, filled with devotion. "i can't wait to spend another year with you—and forever, baby."

"forever," you echo, your heart swelling as her words settle into your soul.

a/n: here's a little fluffy drabble cuz writer's block will not leave me be

✮ happy new year to everyone stepping into 2025! i wish you an incredible year filled with love, happiness, and joy. thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me—it means the absolute world to share my writing with you and receive such positive feedback. i love you all <3

BILLIE BOSSA NOVA

REQUEST: hii i was wondering if u can do like a story with billie on how like billie and the reader are in the pool and start to make out (pls end in smut ☺️) also like dom billie and i love your stories SMM

a/n: love this request, and tysm ily!! also i changed the setting to a jacuzzi since that's steamier imo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - flirtacious!billie x fem!reader

genre - smut

synopsis: a long-awaited romantic getaway to a hawaiian resort with your girlfriend leaves you craving her in more ways than one.

tw: softdom!billie, sub!reader, praise kink, billie's a bit of a tease, semi-public pool sex, light choking, reader & billie are in an established relationship

word count: 1.6K

a lot can change in twenty seconds a lot can happen in the dark

⟡

i'm not sentimental but there's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Vacations have never really been your thing, as the timing never seems convenient enough for you to be free. But when you and your girlfriend finally manage to carve out time for a well-deserved break from work, you waste no time whisking her away to a luxurious resort in Hawaii.

"Look, Bils, there are so many activities here!" you gush, waving a colorful pamphlet excitedly in Billie’s face.

She chuckles, gently swatting your hand away before resting hers back on the steering wheel. "Tell me all about them, babe. Jus' let me keep my eyes on the road so we actually make it there in one piece, okay?"

"I wanna go swimming first, and then we can—" You abruptly cut yourself off, gasping as your eyes catch something on the pamphlet. "Oh my God, no, we’re going horseback riding first!"

Billie laughs, her voice light and melodic as she takes in your excitement. She spares you a brief glance, her eyes brimming with affection, before turning her attention back to the road. Her hand finds its way to your thigh, a gentle squeeze accompanying the smile playing on her lips. “Almost there.”

When you arrive, Billie pulls into valet parking, smoothly handing over her keys before wrapping an arm around your waist. With the other, she effortlessly wheels your shared suitcase, her presence reassuring as you both check in at the resort.

Key in hand, the two of you make your way to your room. Once inside, you immediately flop onto the bed, letting out a contented sigh as the crisp, cool sheets embrace your body. The scent of vanilla and coconut wafts through the air, calming and intoxicating all at once.

Billie leans down, her lips meeting yours in a tender kiss that makes your heart flutter. She then takes your hands, gently pulling you up to sit. "Come on, pretty girl," she says with a soft smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "The horses are waiting."

In hues of amber and crimson, the day takes its final bow, painting the sky in the tender colors of twilight. A soft breeze brushes over your exposed shoulders, a soothing contrast to the lukewarm embrace of the jacuzzi water rippling around your figure.

The quiet patter of footsteps reaches your ears, followed by a gentle splash as someone joins you. You glance to the side and spot Billie, clad in a pink bikini, her calm smile radiating under the soft glow of the yellow string lights that frame the area. Your gaze instinctively trails over her figure, your throat tightening as the light dances across her skin, accentuating her beauty.

She slides into the water beside you, her entrance sending a cascade of bubbles around her. She lets out a blissful sigh, leaning back against the edge. Her eyes flutter shut, giving in to the soothing warmth of the water enveloping her.

Her arms coil around your waist, pulling you flush against her. You wrap your arms around her shoulders with a playful grin, leaning in to press your lips to hers in a kiss that quickly turns passionate. Her hands trail down to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly as your legs instinctively wrap around her waist.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispers, her breath warm against your lips. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had you all to myself.”

You chuckle softly, tilting your head and flipping your hair aside to take in the intense longing in her ocean-blue eyes. Before you can respond, Billie claims your lips again, this time with a raw urgency. Her hands slide to your ass, cupping and squeezing with a teasing firmness that draws a soft gasp from you.

“Missed this ass,” she murmurs, her lips now trailing down your neck. Her kisses deepen into marks of purple, each one a possessive reminder of her touch. A quiet moan slips from your lips as her damp hand slides up to your neck, gripping gently and pulling you closer. Your head tilts back, granting her full access, surrendering completely to the moment.

“Missed your obedience, baby,” she whispers, her lips brushing against the delicate skin above your bikini top. Her words send a shiver down your spine as her mouth grazes the curve of your breasts. “You’re always such a good girl for me.”

Heat pools between your legs at the sultry tone of her words, and your desperation grows as you subtly begin to grind against her, hoping she won’t notice. But Billie, ever attentive, quickly catches on, her firm grip halting your movements with ease.

“What do you need, pretty girl?” she rasps, her voice teasingly low, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Use your words.”

“Please, Bils,” you manage, your voice a trembling whisper as you squirm in her grasp. “Touch me.”

“You need my fingers?” she asks, her teasing tone making your breath hitch. You nod quickly, your desperation clear. Her hands move with deliberate slowness to your string bikini, untying the knots and draping the fabric over the rim of the jacuzzi. “How bad do you need ’em?”

“So bad… Need you, Billie." Your words slip out in an unintentional whimper as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth. Her calloused fingers find your clit, rubbing slow, taunting circles that draw a sigh of relief from you. The sensation is momentary, though, as she pulls back, leaving you aching for more.

Before you can protest, her plump lips capture yours in a heated kiss, her tongue exploring yours as her fingers slip inside you. The stretch is perfect, filling you as her kiss muffles the moans spilling from your lips. Every movement of her fingers sends waves of pleasure coursing through you, her dominance grounding you completely in the moment.

Ever so slightly, Billie curls her fingers, reaching deeper spots that send jolts of pleasure rippling through you. Louder moans spill from your lips as your grip on her shoulders tightens, your head falling back in surrender to the intense sensations.

She bites her lip, barely suppressing the satisfied smirk threatening to spread as she watches your face contort with unrestrained bliss.

“You like that, baby?” she purrs, her voice dripping with pride—both in herself for knowing exactly how to unravel you and in you for being so perfectly compliant, following her every command. “Want me to go faster?”

“Y-Yes, faster,” you stammer, your voice trembling as your eyes roll back, overwhelmed by the ecstasy coursing through you. Billie doesn’t hesitate, quickening the rhythm of her fingers, each thrust building a delicious pressure deep within you.

With practiced ease, she unties the knot of your bikini top, letting it fall away before her mouth claims your nipple. Her tongue flicks and swirls over the sensitive bud, her lips suckling just enough to make your back arch instinctively. Every motion of her hands and mouth leaves you inching closer to the edge, completely at her mercy.

"Look at you—such a pretty girl, begging to feel my fingers inside you," Billie murmurs, her voice muffled as her lips remain latched around your nipple.

You clench around her fingers, your body responding instinctively to the relentless pace of her thrusts. The sensation builds to an almost unbearable peak, drawing out louder moans. “Close…” you manage to gasp, your voice trembling. Billie takes your breathless admission as her cue, quickening her pace and adding a third finger, the stretch sending a fresh wave of heat pooling in your core.

“Oh my—fuck,” you groan, your breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps as her fingers reach deeper, hitting spots that make your body shudder. “I’m so close.”

“Yeah, baby?” Billie’s voice drips with praise, a mix of pride and adoration as her fingers work you over without mercy. “You want to come?”

“Billie, please,” you whimper, your voice thick with desperation. The sound of her name spilling from your lips like a prayer makes her groan, a low, primal sound that only adds to the intensity of the moment.

With her free hand, she grips the back of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. Her tongue delves into your mouth, her movements commanding and possessive. The overwhelming sensation of her lips, her fingers, and her presence pushes you over the edge, and you unravel around her with a loud, pleasured moan, your body trembling as waves of relief crash through you.

Your chest rises and falls with heavy pants as your body finally gives in, trembling from the intensity. Billie’s arms wrap around you instantly, steadying and holding you close. Her warmth and strength are a comforting anchor as you melt against her.

She grins softly, reaching up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “You did amazing, baby,” she murmurs, her voice tender and full of affection. Her fingers trail over your skin, rubbing soothing circles around the marks she left, a quiet gesture of care. With skilled ease, she ties your bikini top back in place, shielding your sensitive skin from the cool air.

Once you’re steady, the two of you make your way back to your room, the short walk punctuated by the easy intimacy you share. Billie can’t resist teasing you, her tone light. “So, you still up for that tango class?” she asks, a playful smirk tugging at her lips, reminding you of how excited you’d been earlier.

“Fuck no,” you reply with a chuckle, your voice warm despite your exhaustion. Dropping your head against her shoulder, you nuzzle into the crook of her neck, letting her warmth envelop you. “Sleep’s calling my name.”

BODY DYSMORPHIA

REQUEST: billie being rrly worried about r eating problems?

a/n: before we get into the fic, i just want to remind everyone that your struggles are valid. i understand where you're coming from and i promise you, you're perfect just as you are, inside and out. you don't need to be slim to be beautiful. that's just society's and men's messed up standards. this is just one of many serious & important topics and i want you to know that my messages are always open if you need to vent, talk, or simply have someone listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - concernedgf!billie x insecure!reader

genre - angst, fluff, suggestive

synopsis: struggling with body image and online criticism, you find comfort as billie lovingly supports you and helps you confront your insecurities with understanding and care.

tw: heavy mentions of body dysmorphia & an eating disorder.

word count: 1.1K

you don't have to change you're perfect the way you are

⟡

she's a pretty girl without the filter she looks beautiful with no makeup on

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

"How about In-N-Out?"

Wide grins spread across everyone's faces as they nod in agreement, then turn to you, waiting for your response. Your gaze shifts to Finneas in the driver’s seat, then to Claudia in the passenger seat, before skimming over Alex and Zoe on your right, and finally landing on Billie—your girlfriend—seated to your left.

"Oh, uh, I'll actually just skip. I already ate, so I'm full," you say with a casual shrug.

"You sure you don't want something for later?" Billie asks, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as she lightly squeezes your knee. "I know you. You always say you're not hungry, then an hour later, you're begging me to get you something to eat."

You force a smile, shaking your head. "I'm sure."

During the drive to the fast-food joint, you pull out your phone, your lips pressing into a tight frown as you scroll through the comments left by Billie’s fans on her most recent post—some cruel and cutting, others trying to defend you.

quenxbillie4life: what an ugly fatass bitch prob js a gold digger ↳ ronniel0vesbils: do u even KNOW billie? she's struggled sm with body image. have u heard not my responsibility? u have no right to say that abt her gf.

billieeilishnoticeme69: BIG BACK BIG BACK BIG BACK

billybiggestfan: elephants don't deserve to date global stars like billy ↳ ronniel0vesbils: lmao didn't even spell her name right u fake fan😭

billiespitonme: @ronniel0vesbils is legit fighting for her life out here LMFAO

The harsh words sting, and though the supportive replies are there, they feel drowned out by the negativity. You glance out the car window, trying to shake the ache in your chest, but the comments linger like a shadow.

You try to conceal your exhaustion, but it’s hard to ignore the countless nights spent sobbing, curled up with your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth as you desperately pray to wake up with a model’s body the next day.

But it never happens. And each passing day only deepens the growing hatred you feel toward yourself.

Why would Billie ever choose someone like you?

She’s one of the most ethereal-looking women on the planet, effortlessly breathtaking in a way that leaves you in awe. She never seems to have a bad moment, always stunning. Yet somehow, out of everyone, she chose you.

You sit silently, watching everyone enjoy their burgers and sip on their drinks, all the while wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Deep down, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re not even worthy of a good meal—that starving yourself is just the price you have to pay to lose weight.

Your eyes drop to your hands resting in your lap, fingers fidgeting with your nails as a quiet sigh escapes. Slumping further into the seat, you tune out the lively conversations and laughter of your friends, letting the background noise blur into nothingness.

"You okay, baby?"

The gentle voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You hear the jingle of keys being tossed onto the coffee table, followed by soft footsteps padding across the wooden floor. Billie appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame with concern etched across her face. "You were acting a little weird today."

You glance away, offering only a small nod in response, but Billie isn’t convinced. She crosses the room and sits beside you, the mattress dipping under her weight as she exhales softly. Her ring-clad hand comes to rest lightly on your knee.

"You sure?" she presses, her voice tender. "You usually never say no to burgers."

A bitter chuckle slips out before you can stop it, the comment twisting into an unintentional jab at yourself. Are you really such a glutton that even Billie notices the sudden change? The thought stings.

"Yeah," you mutter, your tone tinged with self-deprecation. "That just might be the issue." You roll your eyes at your typical eating habits, the words dripping with sarcasm and frustration.

Billie’s brows knit together, a faint crease forming on her forehead as she shifts closer, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Ah,” she murmurs, her lips pressing into a thin line. “I get it, love. I know how you feel—I’ve been through it.”

Her hand moves up to your arm, fingers tracing gentle, soothing patterns across your skin. “I want you to know I’m here for you. Always. You’re not alone in this, and you never will be.” Her voice is soft but firm, her words wrapping around you like a warm embrace.

“Anything you ever want to tell me, I’m listening. And,” she adds, a small, playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, “you can’t be stressing your pretty little head about all this without me being involved, got it?”

Your lips curl into a soft smile, but the harsh, critical thoughts about your appearance still linger, refusing to be silenced.

Billie notices the unease in your expression. Her hand gives your arm a gentle squeeze before she guides you down onto the bed, your back pressing against the sheets and your head cradled by a pillow.

For a moment, your mind races. Really? Sex? Does she think a distraction like this will actually help right now?

Still, you push the thought aside, watching as Billie moves with quiet determination. Her fingers deftly unbutton your jeans, sliding them down your legs and tossing them onto the floor. She shifts her focus to your torso, carefully slipping your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and underwear.

Instinctively, your hands fly to your stomach, trying to cover yourself. Even though Billie has seen you naked countless times, the habit of hiding feels ingrained—an automatic response to the insecurities clawing at you.

Billie is quick to pin your hands gently to your sides, her soft yet firm grip keeping them in place. Her lips brush against your jaw, leaving a trail of warmth as she moves down to your neck, collarbone, and then licks a slow, deliberate stripe down the valley of your breasts.

"Pretty fucking girl," she murmurs, her voice low and filled with adoration. A quiet groan escapes her lips as she shifts lower, her hands gliding across your skin, mapping every inch and curve with reverent care.

"I love you," she says, her words muffled as she presses her lips tenderly against your belly button. "So fucking much, angel. You’re perfect."

Her hands drift to your thighs, squeezing them gently before she peppers a trail of featherlight kisses along their length. “I love every curve, every inch of this gorgeous body,” she whispers, her tone steady and unwavering, as if daring your insecurities to challenge her conviction.

"And that's never, ever going to change."

THE HILLS

REQUEST: billie filthy smut pleaseeee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - fwb!billie x fem!reader

genre - smut

synopsis: as the rules of your casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with billie blur, one night in a hotel room becomes a turning point neither of you expected.

tw: domtop!billie, subbottom!reader, praise kink, strap (r!receiving), light choking, hair pulling, situationship/fwb.

word count: 1.2K

found out i was comin', sent your friends home keep on tryna hide it, but your friends know

⟡

i only call you when it's half-past five the only time i'd ever call you mine

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You're not entirely sure how it led to this moment—your back arched, face buried in the pillows to muffle your cries of pleasure, eyes rolling back as waves of euphoria overtake you.

Her hips ram into yours with rapid, intoxicating thrusts, her hands exploring your body—one gripping your hip firmly while the other threads through your hair, tugging your head back and forcing your spine to arch even deeper.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

You're not even sure you heard her right—your ears have been ringing for the past ten minutes. Nevertheless, you don’t really care what she said, as long as she keeps doing what she’s doing. Your body moves on its own, writhing in ecstasy, while your mind drifts helplessly in a sea of pleasure.

Your skin glistens with sweat, a testament to how long the two of you have been at this. The last thing you remember is calling her from the analog phone on the nightstand, telling her to meet you at the hotel where you’re staying.

This has become a bit of a routine for you both—whenever one of you feels needy, you call the other for a discreet hookup. It’s nothing official, so you’re forced to sneak around, careful not to get caught by her fans.

Her navy strap is one you've grown unbelievably accustomed to, just like the feeling of her calloused hands roaming your body, never neglecting a single inch.

"Billie, fuck!" you gasp, her groan vibrating in your ear as her body presses tightly against yours, her thrusts growing sloppier. Her breasts press firmly against your back, drawing a guttural moan from deep within you. "I'm close, so close—" Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as your hand flies up to grip the headboard, desperate for something to ground you. "Please."

Billie curses under her shaky breath, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you even closer, her hips driving into you with relentless force. Her pace quickens, her face contorting in pleasure as the strap hits her just right.

"Please what?" she grunts, her free hand cupping your left breast, squeezing just enough to elicit a whimper before sliding up to wrap around your neck. The cold silver of her rings contrasts starkly with your hot, sweaty skin.

You almost want to beg her to slow down—your pussy throbbing from the punishing rhythm—but you're too consumed by the moment, lost in the delirium of her fake cock filling you so perfectly.

"P-Please, faster," you manage to whimper, your lips parting as tears well in your eyes. You bite down on your wrist, trying to stifle the desperate sounds spilling from your mouth, but she quickly moves your hand away. She wants to hear—no, revel in—the pretty noises you make for her.

A breathy moan escapes her lips as she inches closer to her own release, her hands gripping your hips tightly to steady herself while her pace grows more frantic. "Such a good fucking girl," she breathes, her sultry tone alone enough to send you spiraling. "You take me so well."

You’re not sure how the two of you haven’t received a noise complaint yet, given how long this has been going on—though what feels like hours is probably closer to forty-five minutes.

Billie’s hand trails down your body, her skilled fingers finding your sensitive clit and stroking it with practiced precision, drawing out another throaty moan from your parted lips. Before the sound can fully escape, her free hand clamps over your mouth, only to slip her thumb past your lips. Instinctively, you wrap your lips around it, your tongue grazing the pad of her thumb as she watches with a smirk.

Instinctively, you push your hips back, grinding against the silicone cock in a silent plea for more—for her to fill you so completely that it drives you to scream her name until it echoes through the room.

Sensing your impending release, Billie suddenly pulls out, flipping you onto your back with practiced ease. She pushes your legs up, your knees pressed against your chest, before slamming into you again without hesitation. The new angle sends shockwaves through your body, arching your back and pulling even louder cries from your lips.

Her thumb finds your clit again, rubbing in fast, deliberate circles as she watches you squirm beneath her. She mentally savors the sight, basking in the knowledge that only she can undo you like this.

Part of your arrangement had been to avoid talking about any other hookups during your downtime, but truthfully, Billie hasn’t been with anyone else since this began. No one gives her the same electric rush that you do. And though she’d never say it out loud, she’s certain no one else can make you feel the way she does—and maybe, just maybe, she’s a little proud of that.

Your hands slide up her damp chest, squeezing her breasts before trailing behind her neck to pull her closer. She doesn’t know exactly what compels her to brush her lips over yours—a kiss that’s both needy and tender. It catches you off guard; you’ve never kissed her before. Ironic, considering all the other obscene things you’ve done together, but kissing always felt like crossing a line into something more intimate.

But right now, you couldn’t care less.

Your fingers thread through her hair, brushing it out of her face as your lips move in perfect sync. The kiss is charged, igniting a spark that sends a shiver down your spine. Not only is she amazing at fucking you, but, God, she’s an incredible kisser too.

A familiar knot tightens in your stomach, making you grind down against her desperately. A moan escapes her lips, and that’s your breaking point. Your back arches off the bed as your orgasm crashes over you in waves, leaving you gasping for air.

Billie watches you unravel beneath her, and the sight alone sends her over the edge. A loud groan rips from her throat, her usual care for discretion abandoned as the walls of the hotel room bear witness. Slowly, she pulls out, leaving you with an aching emptiness that only intensifies your sensitivity. She collapses beside you, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath.

"Fuck, that was..."

“Intense?” you finish for her, a breathless chuckle escaping as you sit up, wincing at the soreness in your legs.

“Something like that.” She climbs off the bed, removing the strap before making her way to the bathroom. Pausing at the door, she glances back at you, her pink lips pursed slightly. “You wanna rinse off?”

“Together?” you ask, eyebrows knitting in confusion. She responds with a shrug and a simple nod before disappearing into the bathroom. Curiosity and the promise of warm water drive you to follow her.

Aftercare from Billie isn’t something you ever expected. It was never part of the unspoken rules of your agreement, a dynamic that thrived on boundaries and the title of “friends with benefits.”

But something feels different—like a rope has snapped inside her, loosening the rules she’d held so firmly. Because right now, in this fleeting moment, you’re not just a casual fling.

You’re hers.

FADE INTO YOU

REQUEST: loved ur billie fic sm!!!🥹 can you do billie x f!reader where r has been acting distant lately ofc shes tryna hide that but billie being the attentive girlfriend she is notices and asks r about it then r talks about wanting to break up but billie can read her emotions through her eyes so well so they talk ab it and turns out r has been feeling insecure cus billies very up there and shes just her THIS IS SO LONG M SORRY i js love u and hope to see more from u😣 thank u sm!!!🫰🏻

a/n: i adore this request tysm ily! and u can make it as long as u want (that's what she said) hope this is how u wanted it to go<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - attentivegf!billie x insecure!reader

genre - angst, fluff

synopsis: when doubts about your worth drive a wedge between you and billie, an emotional confrontation reveals just how deep her love for you runs.

tw: self-doubt, emotional distress—nothing too serious

word count: 1.1K

i look to you and i see nothing i look to you to see the truth

⟡

a stranger light comes on slowly a stranger's heart without a home

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

"And that's a wrap!"

Applause fills the room as the interviewer stands and pulls Billie in for a brief hug. "You were amazing. It was an honor having you here," she says warmly. Billie smiles back, her signature charm on full display. "The episode will be in editing for a few days, but we'll let you know once it's ready to publish."

The brunette nods, her ocean-blue eyes catching the iridescent glow of the overhead lamp. As she exchanges goodbyes, her gaze sweeps the room, searching—only to find no sign of you.

"Hey," she calls out, tapping Finneas on the shoulder. He turns to face her, eyebrows raised. "Did she leave?"

"Yeah, about twenty minutes ago," he says with a shrug, crossing his arms. "You guys okay? I don’t usually like to get involved, but... she’s been acting different. Not just with you—just, in general."

"No, yeah, we're fine. She probably just wasn't feeling well," Billie says as she fiddles with her silver rings, though the crease in her brow betrays the indifference she tries to project. Truthfully, she has no idea why you've been acting so distant—distant enough for Finneas and even a few of your mutual friends to notice and question her about it.

After bidding her farewells, Billie heads straight for her car, a clear mission in mind as she drives to your place. She rings the doorbell, anxiously tapping her foot against the wooden floorboards of your porch.

The door opens after a few beats, revealing you—your face etched with a melancholic expression. Her brows knit together instantly, worry clouding her eyes as her hands move to cup your cheeks. Her thumbs brush over the faint streaks of dried tears.

“What happened, pretty girl?” she asks softly, concern woven into every word. “You left so suddenly, but you seemed just fine this morning. Are you feeling sick? I can grab you some soup from that place you love.”

You shake your head, stepping back from her touch before turning away and sinking onto the gray couch. Your lips are downturned, shoulders slumped, as Billie silently follows, her worried gaze never leaving you.

"I don’t know why everyone’s so worried. I’m fine," you snap, your voice sharper than intended. You meet her concerned eyes with a glare, though it falters. "You didn’t need to come over. Don’t you have some afterparty to go to with your famous friends?"

Billie’s brows knit together in confusion as she lowers herself onto the coffee table across from you, legs spread and elbows propped on her knees. She leans forward, searching your face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I just…” Your voice falters, trailing off as you avert your gaze to the side, nervously chewing your bottom lip.

“Hey,” she says softly, her tone steady but full of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Her gentleness feels like a knife twisting in your chest. Guilt gnaws at you with every word, every worried glance. No matter how cold you try to be, she’s still her—loving, understanding, unwavering.

“I wanna… break up.” The words leave your lips in a whisper, barely audible, but they hit like a crack of thunder. Your tear-filled eyes flicker to hers, wide and stricken with disbelief.

“Wait—what? What?” Billie stammers, her voice cracking with shock as she processes your words. “You… you wanna break up?”

“I wanna break up,” you repeat, though it comes out shakier this time, as though the words might crumble under their weight.

“Why?” she asks softly, her voice trembling. Her hands reach out instinctively, intertwining with yours, her thumbs brushing across your knuckles in a gentle, grounding motion. “Why? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Billie studies you intently, her gaze searching for answers you don’t know how to give. She catches the guilt etched in your features, and a quiet sigh escapes her lips as she tightens her grip on your hands—reassuring, alleviating.

“Talk to me, Y/N,” she pleads, her voice steady despite the tension in her posture. “We need to talk about this. About you. I’ve been so worried lately, and now… this? Why do you want to break up? I thought we were happy.”

“I was—am happy, I just…” You exhale shakily, lowering your gaze to your lap, where your hands remain entwined with hers. “Why me?”

“What?” Billie’s brows knit together, and she shifts closer, tilting her head slightly.

“I just— There’s nothing special about me, y’know? I’m just me, and you’re Billie Eilish. I don’t get why you’d wanna be with someone like me.”

“Fuck,” she mutters under her breath, a soft chuckle escaping as she pulls you closer, shifting you onto her thigh. Your heart flutters involuntarily, but the warmth is immediately overshadowed by the painful squeeze in your chest when you look down into her comforting, knowing gaze. “Is that why you’ve been acting so different, baby?”

You don’t respond, but you don’t have to. She sighs, her arms wrapping securely around your waist, holding you as if to anchor you in place.

“You might not be famous in the world’s eyes,” she murmurs, her voice tender yet resolute, “but you’re everything in mine. And yeah, you’re you, but that’s exactly who I fell in love with. Not some snobby celebrity, or anyone else. You. Just you. And you’re fucking perfect, love. Don’t you see that?”

"What if you find someone better, or... I don't know, things go south? It's happened before with other couples, and—"

"It won’t happen with us," Billie cuts in gently, her voice soft yet stable. "I’ll never find someone better because that doesn’t exist."

She leans in, pressing a series of featherlight kisses along your jaw, trailing down to your neck. Her warm breath brushes your skin as she exhales softly, her hair tickling you like a second touch.

"I love you," she whispers, her words grounding you as she presses another lingering kiss against your neck. "And nothing—nothing—is ever going to change that, got it?"

With a playful grin, you thread your fingers through her hair, giving it a gentle tug to tilt her head up so she meets your gaze. "Prove it."

Billie lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head as her hands tighten around your waist. "You’re insatiable," she teases, before leaning in to capture your lips in a tender kiss. Slowly, she guides you onto your back on the couch, her body hovering over yours as she trails down to your neck, leaving a path of delicate, lingering kisses that promise to leave their mark.

She pulls back just enough to kiss you again, her lips hovering over yours before she smiles softly. "I love you," she repeats, her gaze locking with yours, full of warmth and certainty.

YOU'RE LOSING ME

pairings - overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader

genre - angst, fluff near the end

synopsis: billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.

tw: slight emotional abuse, relationship conflict, reader and billie are in an established relationship, billie calls reader clingy

word count: 2.7K

and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition

⟡

i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier

✩₊˚.⋆🕸️⋆⁺₊✧

As the first rays of sunlight stream through the curtains, you slowly open your eyes, your vision blurry for a few seconds as you gaze out the window. Extending your arm, you touch the empty spot on the sheets beside you—cold and untouched.

Your girlfriend Billie has been in Korea for what feels like forever, though it’s only been a week. Her long-awaited album just dropped, and she’s been consumed with interviews and appearances. She hasn’t been responding to your texts much, leaving you feeling lonely. Still, you remind yourself how hard she’s working and try not to let it bother you too much.

Pulling yourself out of bed, you shuffle to the bathroom, turning on the tap to run a warm bath. Back in your room, you grab the hoodie Billie gave you before she left. Her signature scent still lingers, drawing a small, bittersweet smile to your face as your chest tightens with longing. You slip it on over matching sweatpants, preparing for a strawberry-scented bath to shake off the ache of missing her.

Today’s the day Billie finally comes home. The thought brings a flicker of excitement, breaking through the gloom of the past week. You've been counting down the hours, longing for the moment you'd see her walk through the door, ready to wrap her in your arms. You’d planned everything—dinner, her favorite movie, and the kind of quiet, comforting night you know she loves.

You’ve spent the whole morning searching Instagram for recipes, carefully selecting her favorites. After your bath, you tie your hair up into a ponytail and get to work, letting the rhythmic hum of a Clairo playlist fill the air.

Two hours pass, and you’ve prepared mashed potatoes, a fresh salad, and a pot of pasta with vegan meatballs. The table is set, the living room prepared, and her favorite movie is paused on the TV.

At about 6 PM, the sound of keys jangling at the door makes your heart leap as you set two plates on the coffee table. You rush to greet her, a bright smile on your face as the door swings open. There she is—Billie, standing with her luggage in hand, looking as stunning as ever.

“Hey,” she says, her voice soft but distant, her expression tired.

“Hi, baby,” you reply warmly. “I missed you.”

“Me too,” she says, forcing a small smile. But there’s no hug, no kiss, no affectionate greeting. Your stomach knots at the coldness in her demeanor.

“How was your trip?”

“Busy. Lots of interviews.” Her tone is flat, almost disinterested as she runs a hand through her black hair.

“I made you dinner,” you say, stepping aside to reveal the table you’d prepared. The sight of her favorite dishes and the movie queued up for the night should’ve brought a smile to her face, but instead, she sighs, rubbing her forehead.

“That’s great, baby, but I think I’ll pass.”

Your smile falters, but you quickly push aside the sting, which is instantly overpowered by your care. Checking on her is one of your priorities, and you know her well. You two have been together for a year and a half, so by now, you can immediately tell when something's wrong. “Are you okay? You seem... off.”

“I’m just tired,” Billie mutters, avoiding your gaze.

“Well, we can relax on the couch, eat something, watch the movie—”

“I wanna be alone, Y/N,” she interrupts sharply. Her tone cuts through you, the weight of her words hitting harder than you expect. “You’re going to want to cuddle and... I’m just not in the mood.”

“Oh.” The hurt threatens to spill over, but you swallow it down. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t do that,” she snaps, crossing her arms as her piercing gaze meets your confused expression. “Don’t guilt-trip me like this.”

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you,” you reply softly. “I just—”

“Just drop it, okay?” she says firmly.

You hesitate, but something inside you refuses to let it go. “Okay, no. You don’t get to treat me like this after I’ve spent all day trying to make things nice for you. I know you’re tired, but that doesn’t mean you can push me away.”

“I didn’t ask you to do any of this,” Billie says, gesturing dismissively at the table. “You’re the one who went overboard.”

“Because I care about you,” you argue, stepping closer. “Because I wanted to make you feel better after a long week. All I wanted was to spend some time together, but apparently, that’s too much to ask.”

Billie’s eyes narrow. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?” You throw your hands up in frustration. “You’ve barely answered my texts, you’ve been distant all week, and now you’re acting like I’m the problem for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.”

You almost can't recognize the person in front of you. Is this why she'd been so cold lately? Usually, after long trips like this, she'd get extremely clingy, refusing to leave your side while repeatedly claiming how much she'd missed you and peppering your face with a billion kisses.

"I've been busy, Y/N. You can't expect me to be on my phone 24/7," she argues, a frustrated groan slipping out. "What, are you gonna strangle me for doing my job?"

"Billie," you resolutely call out as you cross your arms defensively. "When have I ever not been understanding to your circumstances? I know how hard you work, and I know your job means you gotta travel around the world. And I've always been okay with that."

She lets out a dry laugh, her tone dripping with exasperation. "So, why are you acting so goddamn needy right now?"

The word hits like a slap. She knows how much that word cuts you, how deeply it taps into your insecurities.

"Why are you being so unbearable right now?" you retort, matching the volume of her tone. Not yelling, but not calm either.

"Just stop it. You're making a big deal out of nothing—"

"No, I'm not. Stop trying to make me sound crazy."

You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass cup from the dish rack, filling it up with cold water before taking a sip. Your throat had begun to to run dry since you haven't eaten or had anything to drink all day. "You could've been nicer about it. Why are you acting surprised and attacking me for wanting to spend time with you after a week apart?"

billie follows you and leans against the counter, feigning indifference as you stare at her from the other side of the kitchen, your eyes scorching with fury. "A week's not that long."

You scoff after setting the cup on the counter in front of you. "Yeah, says you who literally couldn't wait for me to come home after I slept over at my sister's house for two days."

"That's different." She rolls her eyes and prods her tongue against the inside of her cheek. The audacity leaves you speechless for a second before you regain your composure.

"What changed?" You shake your head in disbelief as you replay the memories of the sweet nothings she would whisper in your ear after being gone for so long. Whether she'd be gone on tour for a month, or if she'd just go visit her parents and Finneas for the weekend, she'd always return to you. "Why are you acting so weird?"

Billie lets out a pained sigh as she shuts her eyes tightly, hoping this moment would just disappear. This is the first time you've seen her show a single emotion other than apathy the whole time she's been back. "I think..." she trails off, not knowing how to correctly word the sentence on the tip of her tongue.

"You think what?" you ask, growing a little impatient as you watch her part her lips again.

"I can’t do this anymore,” she says, the words spilling out like venom. “I think we need a break.”

Your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. "What the fuck?"

Rounding the corner of the counter, you gently reach out to hold her hands, but she withdraws herself and steps further away. The room seems to tilt as her words sink in. "Where the hell is this coming from?"

“I just... I can’t be in a relationship right now. It’s too much.”

Your voice breaks as tears blur your vision. “Billie, please. We can figure this out—”

“It’s not up to you,” she says, her tone colder than you’ve ever heard it.

“Don’t do this,” you plead. Never in a million years did you picture tonight ending this way, with you practically begging her to take you back.

She steps back, shaking her head, her emotionless blue orbs meet yours, damp and red. “I need space.”

"If you just listened when I told you to leave me alone earlier, this wouldn't be happening right now." Billie's voice rises, although she's never yelled at you before. Every time you two would argue, she'd still try her best to steer clear of doing or saying anything she might regret afterwards.

"Don't you fucking blame me," you yell back, your knuckles turning white as you tighten your grip on the edge of the counter. "I just wanted to spend the night with my girlfriend after being away from each other for so long. You're the one who—"

She lets out another humorless chuckle as she steps forward, leaning closer until your faces are mere inches apart. "Say one more fucking word and I'm never coming home again." She watches your furious expression falter as your eyebrows scrunch together, a crease forming in your forehead. You remain silent and that's when she pulls back. "That's what I fucking thought."

You lower your gaze as she moves out of your view, striding towards your shared bedroom. All you hear is the sound of her footsteps padding across the ceramic floor tiles and trailing further from where you helplessly stand, before you hear the door slam. The sound reverberates through the house, leaving you frozen in place.

Your reticence lingers for a few minutes, almost as if you're too afraid to utter a single word or she'd walk out on you. A quiet sob escapes your lips when your legs give out and you slump onto a stool, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally fall.

The food's cold. It's all you can think about.

The food you spent all of last night planning out, and most of today to make. It's cold. Untouched.

Her words from earlier hit you like cinder blocks. The weight of each sentence uttered makes your heart sink further into your chest as if it's been attached to an anchor.

Questions flood your mind, each one heavier than the last. What went wrong? Was it something you did? How long has she felt this way?

You sit there for hours, drowning in your thoughts, wondering if she’s lying awake like you are, or if she’s already moved on—emotionally gone from what once felt unbreakable.

This isn't something she'd ever normally do. Billie's the most gentle person, especially with you. She'd never do anything to hurt you.

Hues of red and orange begin to spill through the living room window, painting the walls with soft, warm light. You take a shaky breath, turning your head to the window. The sunrise is breathtakingly beautiful—an ironic contrast to the emotional storm you've just endured through one of the worst nights of your life.

You sniffle quietly, wiping away the lingering tears with the back of your hand, your lips trembling from the strain of holding back sobs.

In the bedroom, Billie sits on the edge of the bed, knees drawn to her chest as she stares blankly at the wall. The faint light of the bedside lamp reflects the glimmer of dried tears streaked across her cheeks. She hadn’t bothered to turn it off, too lost in her own thoughts. Her lips are pressed into a remorseful line, her usual confidence replaced with raw guilt. She knows she messed up—knows she acted ungrateful when all you wanted was her.

A heavy sigh escapes her as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to get up. Thirst claws at her throat, but so does the anxiety of facing you. Deep down, she half-expects you to be gone by now—out of the house and her life for good after everything she said. But as she shuffles into the living room, Billie’s breath catches when she sees you still there, perched on the same stool by the counter where she’d left you hours ago.

Her stomach twists as she takes in your figure: slouched shoulders, tired eyes, and the faint, broken sniffles that fill the otherwise silent space. Each sound cuts deeper into her chest. She hesitates for a moment, her hand twitching as she reaches out, wanting to comfort you, but unsure if she even deserves to. Slowly, she steps closer, finally giving in to the ache in her heart.

Tentatively, Billie wraps her arms around you from behind. You flinch slightly, startled by the touch, a quiet gasp escaping your lips. It's the last thing you expected.

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby. You have no idea,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. Her grip tightens as though afraid you might slip away. “I don’t know what got into me last night. I never should’ve yelled at you or called you needy. You just wanted to be with me, and I—I was awful. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did.”

Your chest heaves, struggling to regulate your breathing. You can’t bring yourself to speak, the lump in your throat too heavy. After a long beat of silence, Billie pulls back slightly, moving to face you. Gently, she tilts your chin up, her heart sinking when she sees the toll her words took on you—your puffy, tear-streaked face, trembling lips, and bloodshot eyes.

Her hands cup your cheeks, her thumbs brushing away the dampness. “I did this to you,” she says, her voice barely audible, as if scolding herself. “I made you cry.”

“Was I… too much?” you croak, your voice cracking. The question hangs in the air, fragile and weighted with insecurity. “Too clingy?”

Billie’s brows knit tightly, and she shakes her head vehemently. “No. Never. You’re never too much, love. I’m so sorry.” She rests her forehead against yours, her voice soft but firm. “I’ll never lash out at you like that again. I promise.”

“It’s seven,” you whisper hoarsely, your voice still trembling.

Her eyes widen slightly. “You spent all night here crying?”

You nod wordlessly, and she exhales shakily, guilt washing over her anew. Without hesitation, Billie takes your hands, guiding you off the stool. “Come on,” she murmurs gently, leading you back toward the bedroom. As the door shuts softly behind you, she repeats, “I’m so sorry.”

You chuckle faintly, the sound raw and tired. “You’ve said that a billion times.”

“And I’ll say it a trillion more if that’s what it takes,” she replies, her lips curving into a soft smile as she wraps her arms securely around your waist. Her tone grows tender. “I love you. You’re never, ever too much for me.”

The warmth of her words soothes your aching heart, though the memory of the night still lingers. “You said you wanted a break,” you remind her, your voice a fragile whisper.

“I don’t,” she says quickly, her gaze earnest. “I was overwhelmed and stressed with everything. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That’s on me.” Her fingers gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, her touch featherlight. “But I don’t want a break. I want you. I'm sor—"

You shake your head, letting out a fragile laugh. “If you apologize again, I swear—”

Billie cuts you off with a soft, passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of regret and love into the moment. Your hands instinctively move to her shoulders, pulling her closer, grounding yourself in her warmth.

When she finally pulls away, she rests her forehead against yours, her blue eyes shining with affection and sincerity. “Let’s get some sleep, baby,” she whispers, her voice like a balm to your soul.

And for the first time that night, you feel the weight on your chest begin to lift.

billie eilish masterlist 🎤

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ open !

smut ; 🐝

fluff ; 🧸

angst ; 🥀

. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊

ONESHOTS :

─ .✦ overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader - YOU'RE LOSING ME 🥀🧸

billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.

─ .✦ attentivegf!billie x insecure!reader - FADE INTO YOU 🥀🧸

when doubts about your worth drive a wedge between you and billie, an emotional confrontation reveals just how deep her love for you runs.

─ .✦ fwb!billie x fem!reader - THE HILLS 🐝

as the rules of your casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with billie blur, one night in a hotel room becomes a turning point neither of you expected.

─ .✦ concernedgf!billie x insecure!reader - BODY DYSMORPHIA 🥀🧸

struggling with body image and online criticism, you find comfort as billie lovingly supports you and helps you confront your insecurities with understanding and care.

─ .✦ flirtatious!billie x fem!reader - BILLIE BOSSA NOVA 🐝

a long-awaited romantic getaway to a hawaiian resort with your girlfriend leaves you craving her in more ways than one.

[ more coming soon ]

DRABBLES :

─ .✦ new year's with billie 🧸

[ more coming soon ]

HEADCANONS :

[ coming soon ]

SERIES :

[ coming soon ]

╰┈➤ main masterlist send a request

⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 !

~ ELLIE WILLIAMS 🦕

𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄 !

~ VI 🐻

𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐒 !

~ HAZEL CALLAHAN 💣

𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 !

~ BILLIE EILISH 🎤

holy fuck

i need to make a mess on her right now and recreate this photo but with my cum instead of the piece of gum

oh.

send me requestsss 🤭🤭🤭

PRAISE/SOFT/ETC SMUT PROMPTS

1. “i need you, right here/now”

2. “i’ll go slow/i’ll be gentle”

3. “tell me what feels good”

4. “do you trust me?”

5. “do you like that?”

6. “please teach me”

7. “i want you, now”

8. “you look so pretty on your knees”

9. “it’s okay, im right here”

10. “i got you”

11. “don’t hold it in, it’s okay”

12. “breathe, please"

13. “we can go for as long as you want”

14. “does it taste/feel good?”

15. “you’re doing so well”

16. “i want you, now”

17. “i love you so much”

18. “i want you to fuck me, *name*”

19. “you look so pretty right now”

20. “don’t stop yourself, let me hear”

21. “please don’t stop”

22. “do you want to take it off of me?”

23. “do you want to touch?”

24. “can i touch?”

25. “what about you?”

26. “let me do it for you”

27. “does that feel good?”

28. “you’re so cute”

29. “like that, i like that”

30. “can i touch you too?”

31. “am i going too fast?”

32. “can you do that again?”

33. “do you want more?”

34. “your *body part* are/is so pretty”

35. “do you want to stop?”

36. “i’ve wanted this for such a long time”

37. “aw, poor baby, do you want me to take care of this for you?”

38. “kiss me, i don’t care where”

39. “i don’t care where you touch me”

40. “you looked so hot out there”

41. “are you comfortable?”

42. “let me help you”

43. “do you need help?”

44. “keep going”

45. “you taste so sweet”

46. “do you want to try?”

47. “breathe for me”

48. “you’re doing such a good job”

49. “i’m so proud of you”

50. “tell me what you want”

51. “let me try”

52. “don’t cover up/don’t be embarrassed”

53. “i want you to touch me”

54. “you sound so pretty”

55. “turn around for me”

56. “louder”

57. “quieter”

58. “you look so hot right now”

59. “play with me”

60. “i’ve been waiting all day”

61. “harder, please”

62. “i think i deserve a reward”

63. “you’ve been so good lately, you deserve a reward”

64. “i love your tits/ass/etc”

65. “you’re the only one that gets to touch, pretty girl”

66. “this is exactly how i imagined it”

67. “keep doing that, please”

68. “you feel so good”

69. “kiss/touch me, everywhere”

70. “you’re so gorgeous”

71. “i want you to keep going, forever”

72. “you’re all mine” - “hm…” - “say it” - “i’m all yours”

73. “i want to do so many things to you”

74. “you look amazing, really, but i think i prefer the dress on the floor”

75. “i need you”

76. “i love making you so flustered, you get so cute”

77. “do you like it when i touch right here?”

78. “let me eat you out while you do that, please?”

79. “can you teach me?”

80. “you’re not going to fall, i’ve got you”

81. “shower with me”

82. “i want to taste you so bad”

83. “i don’t care how, i just want you to touch me”

84. “i want to feel you inside”

hey so i was edited out of the picture! im the one that got her like that

I MEAN WHAT. WHO SAID THAT. HELLO HI GOOD MORNING

im pregnant.