Bi Erasure - Blog Posts

Hey you know what's super funny about the idea of "good bi rep"?

For a character to be canonically bi you have to make sure and establish that they're attracted to multiple genders. Not all mediums allow you to get inside every character's head or show what they're thinking. Flirting can be read ambiguously, and god forbid they flirt with a character who's not into them and be read as pushy or predatory. So it can be super handy to just mention an ex or two! But you better not mention too many exes because that would make them a slutty bisexual which is (checks notes) bad, and you definitely better be careful about making them poly, because that might make them, uh... greedy. Oh, and those exes? They better be perfectly amiable breakups with no conflict or drama, because it's bad to represent queer people in toxic or abusive relationships (especially queer women! very bad), and you definitely can't have them have lost a partner if the partner was queer because that's "bury your gays..." You should probably also eliminate all trauma from their backstory, just to be safe. You should probably also make sure they're not involved in crime, deception, or anything of the sort, because that would make them "deviant" and a stereotype.

But don't worry! Once you've carefully crafted your nice, monogamous, experienced-but-not-too-experienced Lawful Good bi character, you will be rewarded with your audience deeming them "boring" and quickly passing them over for other characters. :)

Calling a canon bisexual woman a lesbian becuase she has a female love interest or is in a wlw relationship is bisexual erasure and biphobic!!!!

Edit:

And ra/df/ems :)

also stated that it’s ’less a bi woman makes a relationship queer, and more a straight man makes the relationship straight’

so (not @ OP) that's fucking gross and frankly misogynistic as hell; it also goes back to how often bi women are seen not even just as conscious perpetrators/enablers but simply inherent extensions of men. like that's basic level textbook misogyny, to see an average couple that can be safely assumed to have an equal partnership and decide the man's legacy has more power & worth somehow, and it couldn't be more obvious.

I saw a post from someone who was talking about how lesbians and bisexual sapphics have differences in what they are, not what they do, for example both lesbians and bisexual sapphics dating women and other sapphics is something we do together, but they then went on to talk about how a bi woman in a relationship with a straight man is not as queer as sapphics who are living within ‘queer relationships’

and while it is true to a degree that society has differences in how they treat and react to different types of relationships but i have to wonder, do you guys think that cis bi woman in relationships with straight men cannot have a meaningful and DISGUSTINGLY queer life (/pos) simply bc of their proximity to a straight man???

do you think these bi women cannot go out and participate in queer culture without their man?? do you think that bi woman are chained into the position of lesser queer bc they have a straight male for a partner??? do you think that they cannot contribute to the health and well-being of queer communities??

the person who posted the original post which got me thinking about this also stated that it’s ’less a bi woman makes a relationship queer, and more a straight man makes the relationship straight’ and i cannot tell you how fucking upsetting it is to see the resurgence of this rhetoric, bc this is what gets bi women abused and killed.

our oppression as the bisexual community is not hinged or limited to who we fucking date or how we present to society and i’m so tired of people assuming our queerness based on the gender and orientation of our partners.

Recently I’ve been thinking about different components of sexual orientation, and how it is effectively formed of both internal identity and external behaviour. It’s interesting that, without a detailed conversation with other individuals, we can only assume their orientation and identity on the basis of their external behaviour, which is all that is visible to us.

For example, if someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they are assumed to be straight, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of heterosexuality. But they might be bisexual. If someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the same sex, they are assumed to be gay/lesbian, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of homosexuality. But they might be bisexual.

In this context, what external behaviour could someone exhibit that would lead to the assumption they were bisexual, and therefore that their behaviour is representative of bisexuality? They’d have to be engaging with the same sex and the opposite sex more or less simultaneously in order not to be assumed to be straight or gay/lesbian. How might that work?

They could be having regular sex with multiple people of both sexes (bisexuals are promiscuous, bisexuals are easy, bisexuals are sluts). They could be having multiple concurrent and short term relationships with people of both sexes (bisexuals can’t commit, bisexuals will leave you for a member of the other sex). They could be having sex with people of both sexes at the same time (bisexuals are kinky, bisexuals have group sex, bisexuals want to have threesomes all the time). They could have a committed relationship with a member of one sex, and affairs with members of the other sex (bisexuals CHEAT). They could be non-monogamous and having various relationships with members of both sexes (bisexuals can’t be satisfied with just one person).

So. In order for other people to recognise you as a bisexual person, you have to be engaging in some form of stigmatised and nonconforming sexual activity, all of which just happen to be typical stereotypes about bisexuality. The only way to be perceived as a bisexual person is to conform with bisexual stereotypes. A bisexual person who doesn’t conform to a single bisexual stereotype cannot be perceived as a bisexual person, and therefore cannot disprove or undermine those stereotypes in the mind of the person perceiving them. Because if they don’t conform to a single bisexual stereotype, they are perceived as heterosexual/homosexual, and their nice, conforming, virtuous behaviour is ascribed to that perceived monosexual identity. Even if they had previously exhibited bisexual behaviour (bisexuality is just a phase, they’ll eventually pick a side).

Alternatively, they could verbally assert their identity regularly enough to offset the assumptions others make on the basis of their behaviour (bisexuals are self-obsessed).

There is no way of being consistently perceived as a bisexual person, in the current landscape, without reinforcing bisexual stereotypes in the minds of those perceiving you, because if you don’t align with and reinforce those stereotypes you are unperceivable as a bisexual person.

The other side of the token of the repost yesterday (the "Why bother write characters in heteronormative relationships?" One). This was created by one of my favourite bi content creators on YouTube. I don't agree with every single detail, but I agree on the essence.

Controversial take (that shouldn't be so controversial)

OK, this applies to average people/normies, celebs and sometimes fictional characters alike (I debate these latter ones in a different manner). You know, sometimes I suspect someone is bi, but if I find out they are/identify as gay (or even straight, but this is less frequent), I just say "Oops, OK," shrug and move on. If it's someone I like, I don't stop liking them. But when someone shows queerness and I -and others- suspect them as bisexual (or multiple gender attracted), some people get angry, offended even. They just read "heterosexual" when multiple genders attraction also include queerness; homosexual (and scoliosexual) attractions; the possibility of preference for similar genders/same sex and/or the other possibility of ending up in the queer pairing you can feel represented by. It's as if some people feel threatened or discredited by someone identifying as bi/pan/queer; or use no labels but acknowledge or at least seemingly show attractions to different genders. As a bi woman, I have had past relationships with women and I feel happy when another woman in a same-gender relationship identifies as Multiple-gender attracted. That might be why it bothers me when people who insist these women are "gay all along and lying" get mad at me for the mere pointing out at them talking about their bisexuality. And as a normie example, I have a friend who after a lifetime of dating men she ended up marrying a woman and for her, while comphet affected her in the way it affects all women, it never affected her in the way it affects lesbians. Her attractions and love for these men were genuine to her.

Also, it seems that nowadays some people in Social Media seem to get a pass to men who had girlfriends or casual sex with women as long as they identify or are perceived as gay. Granted, some gay identified men do that for a variety of reasons, but how about those who make obvious their attraction to women as well as men, and acknowledge attractions? I have also come to the conclusion that how you identify your sexuality might be a personal thing. I know people who identify as gay because they are not attracted to all genders equally; or they base it on who they prefer to have romantic relationships with. And there are people in these same situations who identify as bi/pan/queer... And that seems to offend those who identify as gay. Maybe take a closer look and see what their reasons are? Same with bisexuals being offended at someone who identify as pansexual. Or viceversa. Maybe there are particular reasons for each to identify the way they do? Sometimes I admit I struggle with that, or with Multiple gender attracted people who choose not to label themselves, but I don't let that bother me. I'd rather live and let live and listen to individual experiences. Anyways... I am just pondering as I go.

Also, a friendly annual reminder that Avatar Korra and Asami Sato are bisexuals. Neither of them are lesbians, they did not feel “compulsory heterosexuality” when they were attracted to Mako, and no matter what you say or headcanon they are bisexual women. End of story. Thank you.

I am tired of the “either lesbian or pan” notion about Yang. Like when some ppl stop being monosexist and realize that Yang being sapphic doesn’t immediately mean she’s lesbian, she could be bi, they go “oh, she’s pan then!!1!” Like this crowd finally saw the mutlisexual Yang hype and yet! still deny the idea of Bisexual Yang

because biphobes love to lie. if they didn’t then their vile hatred would not seem justified (because it isn’t).

and maybe a hot take, but i think if it came right down to it these people would rather erase ivy’s existence as a character entirely than let her be bisexual instead of lesbian. i’m not claiming it for sure but it absolutely wouldn’t surprise me if it became an “if i can’t have you, then no one can” type of situation.

unrelated to her specifically but i have sometimes seen lesbians willing to sabotage themselves just to take bi sapphics with them. it might lead to lesbophobia & general misogyny being the end result eventually but at least biphobia was the primary objective. /s

Why are people lying on Tee Franklin (the writer of Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour) saying that she's transphobic, hates lesbians, etc. when that is nowhere near true? Like, y'all hate the fact she said that in HER STORY Ivy is bisexual so much to the point where y'all making up blatant lies about that woman and spreading them around so people can see that shit and send her hate?

And don't think I do see the fact that it's a bunch a white people doing that shit. Like it's constant and very much giving thinly veiled racism, ableism and blatant biphobia, biphobia that y'all try to cover up by calling people lesbophobic.

If you don't like her comic then by all means don't fucking read it but lying on somebody's name simply because you don't like a story she wrote is disgusting as hell. Find the nearest chair and sit your entitled asses down. Y'all really turned this fandom into a hell hole. My goodness, take that shit elsewhere.

One of my posts about last year's Poison Ivy bi erasure debacle got a like again, and man...

You cannot convince me that fandoms don't have a problem with bisexual people, when the response to a prominent bisexual character seemingly having their bisexuality erased by a new writer calling her a lesbian was calls for celebration, and telling upset bisexual fans to get over it, or trying to gaslight them with claims that "Ivy was never bisexual in the main continuity" despite evidence to the contrary.

Like, fandom has had a biphobia problem for a long time, but I think that incident was probably the most blatant example of it I've ever seen.

Feeling salty today 💖💜💙