Bakudeku Angst - Blog Posts
Light Refracts In Many Angles
Midoriya had always been a mutterer. It was a habit developed through isolation and his parents. Since he had no one to talk to, he spoke to himself. The sound of talking was comforting even if the voice speaking was his own.
Another thing Midoriya got through his lifelong isolation was this “magical” ability to disassociate. His rejection from society “evolved” over the countless years of bullying, but that was beside the point. He was still pretty lonely even with the fan behavior from a select group of losers.
Midoriya would wake up and go to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Within seconds of brushing his teeth, Midoriya would be disassociating. Midoriya would be eating breakfast in the middle of spicy gossip. He’d be responding to his mother, but nope, his brain flipped a switch, and just like that he was blanking out. Of course, it didn't happen at the same time every day, but it wasn't uncommon.
Midoriya would go to school and the moment Bakugo opened his mouth Midoriya was out of it. Fortunately for him, it seemed that his body was on autopilot in school. He’d look down at his notebook to see notes he didn’t recall taking. One time he even highlighted specific lines in his textbook.
Midoriya knew it was a problem, but it never really happened when he was doing important tasks that he needed to focus on, so he didn't tell anyone. Unfortunately, he nearly fell down countless flights of stairs in front of his mother, so he was set up with a psychiatrist.
It never took long for Bakugo to notice changes in Midoriya’s behavior. Whenever he made fun of Midoriya or even shoved him occasionally, it was as if Midoriya was looking right through him.
Bakugo couldn’t tell if Midoriya was terrified of him or if he was trying to act tough and one-up Bakugo by pretending to be unfazed. The first time he noticed it was over four months ago.
In certain classes where their seating arrangement changed due to carefree teachers, Bakugo sat near his three lackeys. Hifumi was at the desk to his right and Tejio was in front of him.
Midoriya had already taken a seat on his left before the trio entered the classroom. Midoriya’s seat was by the window, allowing him to gaze out whenever he wanted to.
Bakugo was able to notice the strange behavior, but he never truly figured out what was going on with Midoriya. Midoriya would be writing his notes normally and, out of the blue, his expression would fall as that blank look washed over his face. He couldn’t understand what was happening since Midoriya was still writing away, gaze flicking to the board and then down to the paper to write.
Midoriya spent all of his time alone. He had no friends at school, and he always had everything with him, including his lunch. Midoriya would often stay in his seat for the duration of the break.
Bakugo and his lackeys would sometimes poke fun at him for it before they left for the cafeteria. Other times they’d come back early to study or get away from the crowd of people who were nothing more than nuisances to the three.
Midoriya usually wouldn’t react to them coming in. He would often be spotted with his head against the glass, looking at nothing in particular. Bakugo would never admit it, not even to himself, but he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the sight.
The golden sunlight would shine on Midoriya and illuminate him. His black freckles seemed to glow a golden hue, and his pigmented skin seemed to relish the warm sunlight. Midoriya’s pale, chapped lips seemed to turn a bright red with the exposure to the sun.
Midoriya’s dark and dazed eyes would light up into a striking electric emerald green, matching the beautiful shade of green his eyelashes would turn as they occasionally fluttered. Bakugo could even see the line where the black patch of his hair turned green when it was usually hidden in his dark hair.
Every once in a while, Bakugo would see Midoriya snap back into whatever he was doing whether that be him writing notes, doing schoolwork, scrolling on his phone, writing his hero analysis, or him looking for something interesting going on outside the window. It seemed unreal the way life seemed to flash back into Midoriya's eyes.
Midoriya may not be exactly conscious of the world around him, but his subconscious was working to keep him afloat. It was a sight to see when he became responsive to things he was hearing or seeing.
Bakugo found it strange, but he’d never pass up a moment to peer at Midoriya without the worry of being caught. He'd convince himself he did it for a good reason after he'd catch himself staring.
On good days, Bakugo would go in early and open the window. He knew deep down why he did it, but how could he ever bring himself to say he wanted to watch the breeze gently blow against Midoriya’s face to watch the way the curls in his hair would sway.
One day, Midoriya had a boba milk tea. The drink was still sealed and the straw sitting next to the cup on the desk. Midoriya had his notes pulled out as he was planning to do schoolwork before homeroom started.
Bakugo had been watching Midoriya and saw the exact moment Midoriya's brain clocked out. It was normally pretty clear as his face fell as he was writing notes.
After a couple of minutes, Midoriya's gaze rose to the drink. He grabbed it and brought it away from the edge where it was sitting. Midoriya snatched the straw and raised it to stab through the lid.
Bakugo felt himself focus on the sight, never having seen Midoriya eat or drink while in a trance.
Thump.
There was a pause.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Now Tejio and Hifumi were looking.
Thump.
It didn’t go through, and Hifumi couldn’t help but snicker. For Bakugo, he was fully invested in seeing how this was going to go. Midoriya’s mind was obviously not functioning, but his body was.
Midoriya's body, not being able to accomplish his subconscious mind's goal, raised questions. After all, it was a new situation where Midoriya couldn’t do anything while being unresponsive.
Thump.
Midoriya suddenly threw the straw at the desk and flopped back in his seat. In a way, it seemed as if his body was visibly trying to pout. Tejio could not help but let out muffled laughter, trying not to lose it.
Midoriya leaned forward, taking the straw and even holding it up to his eyes. Midoriya seemed as if he was observing the straw. Bakugo knew very well not one thought was going through Midoriya’s head as messed with the sharp end of the straw. Fixing his grip on it, Midoriya sent it down one more time.
Thump.
Midoriya once again readjusted his grip on the straw and shifted in his seat before sending the straw down again.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump.
Midoriya suddenly picked up the drink, sat it back at the corner of the desk, and brushed the straw off his papers before grabbing his pencil and writing as if nothing had happened.
Hifumi and Tejio lost it, laughing. Bakugo was baffled at the sight, wondering how Midoriya did all of that. He didn’t understand what was happening or why it happened. He’d ask about it, but that would reveal he paid attention and cared enough to ask. He’d rather die than let anyone, especially Deku, know either of those things.
Midoriya seemed to snap out of it a minute later as he took the drink and straw before piercing it easily. He rewarded himself with a drink as he continued the notes. Hifumi and Tejio never suspected a thing while Bakugo was left staring in confusion.
Bakugo knew something was up but decided to never ask. Eventually, he forced himself to stop opening the window and stopped himself from staring too much.
It seemed as if Bakugo wasn’t the only admirer as occasionally the window would be left open in the mornings before Midoriya would enter the classroom.
Midoriya was studying in the school's ginormous library. Midoriya always placed himself at a booth alongside the window, enjoying the sunlight while he studied.
Bakugo and his bullies had snuck in, planning on teasing Midoriya in the quiet area. They spotted him and sat down nearby to figure out how to proceed as the librarian would easily spot them. She was a passionate and stern woman who wouldn’t hesitate to put them all into detention.
Someone suddenly walked past the trio. They looked over to see it was their class president. He was tall, undeniably charming, always received the highest grades, had the best reputation, and was involved in everything going on in the school. His name was Noya Seika, preferring to be called Seika. His book bag was over his shoulder and his arms were holding a stack of papers.
Bakugo and his two followers watched as Seika approached the booth Midoriya was at. Midoriya was casually writing his notes, at peace with the silence.
Seika marched right up to the booth with his charming smile. Everything about his approach was sincere, not an ounce of pity visible in his determined eyes.
Midoriya seemed to notice someone standing by his booth and jumped, covering his mouth. “I am so sorry! Was I mumbling? I’ll be quiet!” panicked Midoriya, whispering only to be met with the sight of his class president.
“No need to apologize, you weren’t mumbling. I was wondering if I may sit with you?” asked Seika with a chuckle, shaking his head.
Midoriya looked at Seika suspiciously before deciding to just let him sit down. It would be extremely rude of him to reject Seika even if he was doing it for a dare or had ulterior motives.
“Oh! Yes, you can sit with me,” approved Midoriya, motioning for Seika to sit down.
Seika smiled, appreciating Midoriya letting him join him. Setting down the stack of papers, he rolled his shoulders in relief. Midoriya peered at him curiously, not used to ever being with good company. Seika sat his bag down and slid into the booth.
“Thanks again for letting me sit with you. I love the student council, but they make it hard to get the paperwork done for the upcoming festival,” ranted Seika, situating the stack of papers before him.
Midoriya, feeling accepted enough to be able to ask questions, decided to ask one of his own. “All of those are just for the festival? Why’d you choose the library out of all places to get stuff done?”
Seika looked at Midoriya, seemingly surprised. The bullies couldn’t understand what Seika was doing. They were already pissed they had gotten their chance taken away from them. It didn't help that Seika was now acting strange after seeking out Midoriya. Bakugo looked ready to break his book bag strap.
Seika tilted his head to the side, happy to answer. “Yep! I'm in charge of approving and disapproving every single class’ activity. Usually, every student in every class has an idea. So, we have about four classes per year and each class has about 20-24 students. I have to get through all of them a week prior. Oh, and about your second question, I figured you’d be here.”
Midoriya was nodding, listening to Seika until the random and strange words escaped his mouth.
I figured you’d be here.
Midoriya stared at Seika in disbelief, worried he hit his head or got struck with a quirk. “Seika-san? Are you okay?”
“Of course, I’m alright Midoriya. Why wouldn’t I be?” questioned Seika innocently.
Midoriya shook his head, fixing his notebook. “No reason. Well, I’ll let you get to your work.”
Seika slightly pouted, watching as Midoriya seemed to put all his focus back on his work. Seika stared for another moment before going to his work, flying through the papers.
The bullies had been snickering at the expressions of Midoriya. They had never seen him look so confused and worried for someone. What made it even better was how Midoriya’s concern was because someone wanted to be around him. Bakugo couldn’t help but be completely invested in the scene similar to a grandma watching a soap opera.
When the three saw the way Seika gazed at Midoriya lovingly, they all felt their faces drop.
The gray-haired bully, Hifumi, started, “No.”
Bakugo interjected his lackey’s moment with a helpful, “Fucking.”
“Way,” the brown-haired bully, Tejio, cut Bakugo off, finishing their little epiphany.
“Seika likes Deku.” The three said in unison.
They all watched like stalkers as the two worked together in comfortable silence. Bakugo saw a mindless haze coat Midoriya’s eyes as his head raised from the page he was staring at and looked out the window. Seika noticed the lack of Midoriya’s scribbling and looked up. Noticing he was in a trance, Seika glanced out the window to see nothing particularly interesting going on.
Looking back at Midoriya, Seika shamelessly took a moment to admire Midoriya. Bakugo couldn’t help but struggle to swallow the lump in his throat. He knew he had looked at Midoriya the exact same way, infatuated by the stunning view. He could see the way Seika’s grip on his pen just oh-so-slightly tightened as he stopped writing.
Eventually, Seika waved a hand in front of Midoriya’s face. Absolutely no response from Midoriya. Bakugo, Hifumi, and Tejio all freeze at the sight of Midoriya being completely out of it. Seika decided not to shout and tried to wave again. With no response again, he gently poked Midoriya’s hand. Midoriya instantly snapped out of it. Midoriya was quick to shoot his gaze over to be met with Seika’s kind expression.
“You were staring off Midoriya. You didn’t even respond to me waving,” explained Seika, looking at Midoriya in wonder.
Midoriya grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I have a dissociative disorder. It only ever really happens in school. I promise I wasn’t ignoring you.”
Seika smiled, waving his hand dismissively. “Nonsense. I assumed you were daydreaming so no hard feelings. Also—a dissociative disorder?”
It seemed to finally click for Bakugo. The feeling of dread slowly creeped into his chest. The Hifumi and Tejio look flabbergasted, not knowing what a dissociative disorder is.
Midoriya nodded, looking at Seika uneasily. “Yeah, I was diagnosed with it after my mother took me to a doctor after an incident. It’s really frustrating.”
“Oh really? I’ve heard about it before, but I don’t know the details of how it works. Is it hard to focus?” pondered Seika.
Happy to explain his personal experience with the disorder, Midoriya twirled his pencil. “Well, mine is mild in terms of my mental state. Whenever I get triggered or induce it, my mind will lock me out of my body. My body just runs on its own. It causes disconnection and lack of continuity between my thoughts, memories, surroundings, and actions. I basically escape reality.”
Hifumi and Tejio let their eyes widen as their gazes full of shock met. They figured Midoriya was an antisocial loser. Now it was brought to their attention that this was because of a mental disorder that they probably caused. Bakugo seethed from where he was sitting. He couldn’t understand how he had been so blind. It was obvious it was disordered behavior. It was obvious Midoriya had been dissociating. He had been admiring Midoriya and observing that he never actually reflected or saw it as something that was burdening Midoriya.
“Woah, so like depersonalization disorder?”
“I mean… kind of. I’m not exactly observing myself from outside my body and I never feel like I’m in a dream, but I do feel a disconnection or detachment from my body and thoughts,” elaborated Midoriya, not sure if he was making any sense.
Seika bowed his head, taking one of Midoriya’s hands in his two. “Thank you so much for sharing such personal information with me. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable in any way. If I did, I humbly apologize for not realizing this may be something you are sensitive about.”
Midoriya felt his eyes widen, placing his free hand over Seika’s. “Oh no, please don’t apologize! You asked me about it kindly and respectfully. I wouldn’t have talked about it if I didn’t want to.”
Seika looked up at Midoriya relieved. “I’m glad. Still, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Is it affecting your studies?”
“Not too much. I still get everything written down. All I have to do is just review the notes I wrote while dissociating. It’s a pain, but there's nothing else I can do,” sighed Midoriya, removing his hand to flip the page of his textbook.
Seika smiled, removing his two hands from Midoriya’s hand. “You are very studious.”
Midoriya smiled at his notes bitterly. “Well, that's all I can do.”
Seika shook his head, looking at Midoriya adoringly. “I doubt that. I feel like you could do anything you put your mind to.”
Midoriya looked ready to argue but bit his cheek and nodded instead. “Thanks.”
Seika frowned, he had said the wrong thing and Midoriya settled for silence. That was the barrier he was determined to break. He didn’t want their dynamic to be the weak quirkless student who believed he’d be disciplined if he attempted to defend himself and the powerful authoritative student with a quirk who barely had to lift a finger to get Midoriya expelled. Although technically that’s what it already was.
Seika looked at Midoriya who buried himself in his book. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but why do you wear such a face? Do you not think you can achieve anything you put your mind to?”
Midoriya felt his eyes widen, looking up to meet Seika looking at him with such a strange look. Midoriya could sense anger, but none of it was directed at him. Midoriya could see a glint of desire and swallowed hard.
“Oh, it’s not that Seika-san. I’m just not used to uhh…,” trailed off Midoriya, fumbling to come up with an excuse or any kind of response.
“No, don’t feel pressured to answer. I was just worried I had upset you,” confessed Seika, once again stunning Midoriya.
Midoriya looked at Seika and smiled kindly at him, tilting his head gently. “Don’t worry, you haven’t upset me.”
Seika felt his posture straighten, looking at Midoriya lovingly.
Bakugo was quick to move, he wasn’t planning on letting this random extra waltz his way into Midoriya’s life. The end of the school year was rapidly approaching, and he was not going to have Seika be an irritating memory.
“Deku.”
Midoriya jumped but looked up to where Bakugo was standing. “Kacchan?”
Bakugo swallowed his pride and decided to use his only excuse to hang out with Midoriya without it sounding like it was his idea. “The old hag has been bugging me and wants you and Inko to visit soon.”
Midoriya perked up, all the attention that had once been Seika’s was gone. “Oh, of course! I’ll let Mom know.”
“Whatever. Now get the hell out of here, all the clubs left already,” demanded Bakugo, pulling out one toxic tactic to separate Midoriya from a potential friend or lover.
Midoriya smiled, rising from his seat. “Oh, you’re right. Thanks for letting me know Kacchan. Seika, I’ll be taking my leave.”
Seika waved Midoriya off with a disappointed expression. “See you around Midoriya.”
Bakugo walked back over to where his lackeys were with a wide smile. Hifumi had watched the entire encounter with a dropped jaw. Tejio was holding back laughter, enjoying the look on Seika’s face.
“No way you just did that,” snickered Tejio.
Hifumi nodded his head in approval. “While I’m impressed Midoriya listened to you, I’m even more shocked you didn’t bother looking at Seika.”
Bakugo shrugged. “I didn’t have to look. I sent him the message that I had Midoriya wrapped around my finger.”
“You’re evil dude,” sighed Hifumi.
Bruh I wrote this back in 2022 and found this deep in the google docs sorry if it's trash, but I honestly kinda like it even two years later
Number One Mistake
After a lot of convincing, Uraraka gave Midoriya enough courage to confess to his crush.
Class 1-A was now class 3-A, officially on the verge of graduation. Midoriya knew things would get busy and there was always the possibility of falling out of touch with his peers. Still, he was in love with his childhood friend Bakugo. He had no intention of letting go of the bond that he worked so hard on forming.
Now that Midoriya was planning on confessing he had romantic feelings for Bakugo, he knew a lot was on the line. If he confessed in his earlier years, there was always time to work on rebuilding their bond and moving on. That way he wouldn’t risk Bakugo avoiding him upon graduation.
If he were to confess now, there was a good chance things would still be awkward by the time they graduated.
That was a terrifying thought.
Uraraka was a pillar of strength for Midoriya. She wanted the best for her friend and believed it was better for him to ask and get rejected than never trying at all. While that wasn’t the only thing she said to convince her best friend to go for it, it was one of the main comments she made that pushed him.
Midoriya took a deep breath before nodding his head. “Okay, I’m going to do it.”
“Really?” gasped Uraraka with an excited grin. She was proud to hear her friend was going to profess his love to his long-lasting crush.
“Yeah… but can you be with me when I do it?” asked Midoriya gently, looking down at his scarred hands with a wary expression.
Uraraka paused, tilting her head to the side before her eyes shot wide open. “Oh! Yes, of course! But are you sure you want to do it over the phone?”
Midoriya nodded stiffly, shallowly breathing. “I think I would pass out if I tried to tell him how I feel to his face.”
“Makes sense. You look like you’re going to pass out right now,” chuckled Uraraka fondly, smacking Midoriya’s arm. “Now, get out the phone and do it! If you wait any longer you may back out.”
“Okay… okay. You’re right, I’m already starting to regret agreeing to confess,” admitted Midoriya as he wiggled his phone out his pocket. His fingers trembled as he moved around his screen to pull up Bakugo’s contact. It was at the very top as Midoriya purposefully pinned him.
“Oh god, I think I’m going to vomit,” cried Midoriya, feeling heat rush to his face as his heartbeat unsettlingly thumped in his neck, pounding in his ears.
Uraraka snuck her hand into Midoriya before offering a tight squeeze. “Breathe. He died for you how many times now? I’m sure a confession won’t ruin anything.”
Midoriya shook his head as he let out a grunt. “Let’s do this,” huffed Midoriya as he pressed the button to call Bakugo. Doing everything in his power to not chuck the phone across the room, he immediately put the call on speaker.
“Izuku?” answered Bakugo quickly, sounding rather calm.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” revealed Midoriya quickly, tearing off the band aid so he couldn’t backtrack. He felt like his chest was going to explode.
There was shuffling from the other end of the call before Bakugo’s voice met his ears again. “Is something wrong? Is this about One for All?”
“No! Nothing like that,” stammered Midoriya, rather embarrassed.
Uraraka smirked from where she was now sitting. There was something so amusing about how worried Bakugo had become about everything and anything revolving around Midoriya.
“So, what’s so important that you have to tell me?” inquired Bakugo, a bit of a teasing tone accompanied his question.
“I like you,” confessed Midoriya suddenly, the short profession was delivered as if it was punched out of him.
It was quiet for a moment before Bakugo cleared his throat. Midoriya was covering his face, rocking back and forth in full-fledged panic mode. Uraraka sat on Midoriya’s bed violently biting at her fingernails. Despite Midoriya being the one confessing, Uraraka was completely freaking out. There was something so jovial about high school confessions.
“You like me?” repeated Bakugo with an unreadable tone.
Midoriya felt some alarms go off in his head, but he was holding out hope. There was always that chance that Bakugo loved him back and they’d have a wonderful relationship. Still, there were a lot of unknowns in situations like this. Not only did Midoriya have to consider if Bakugo would be interested in him, but he had to consider if Bakugo was attracted to boys.
Trying to sooth his nerve, Midoriya convinced himself that there was a good chance Bakugo was homosexual. After all, he’s shown no interest in any girls before. Even if Bakugo signaled he wasn’t interested in dating, Midoriya was going to ignore that fact for the time being.
“Yes,” breathed out Midoriya rather shyly, his cheeks warm and a small smile on his lips.
“Ew.”
Midoriya froze, the pounding in his chest only picking up as the burning sensation of tears forming arose. The weight of his phone suddenly became unbearably heavy as his wrist started shaking. Uraraka tried suppressing her gasp, but it didn’t matter. Midoriya wasn’t focused on anything other than his heart breaking.
“You… don’t?” asked Midoriya with a quietness Uraraka hadn’t heard in a long time.
Uraraka wanted to snatch the phone from Midoriya and end the call. A part of her wanted to storm out of the room and deck Bakugo in the face, but she kept still on Midoriya’s bed as she allowed her best friend to fight his own battle.
“But you’re a boy?” remarked Bakugo plainly. The way he said it didn’t have much malice behind it, but there was a cloud of disgust that accompanied the fact that came out more as a question.
Midoriya held his phone in a limp hold as the shy smile had long faded. Whatever life had been in Midoriya’s face died as the spark in his eyes disappeared and a deep frown met his features.
While Bakugo’s distasteful comment wasn’t inherently mean, it killed whatever romantic attraction Midoriya had for the blonde. A simple rejection would have done the job rather than a cruel reminder of how Bakugo may have liked him if he were a girl.
Uraraka was ready to get up, take the phone, and hold Midoriya until he was ready to think again. But before she could get the chance to move, Bakugo’s voice reached the duo’s ears.
“Izuku?”
Without missing a beat, Midoriya turned the phone to his face and quickly ended the call. He had nothing more to say and he wasn’t going to give Bakugo the pleasure of a response to his off-putting answer to a confession. Midoriya let his phone slip out of his grasp and clatter onto the ground.
The worst possible thing that could have happened just happened. Bakugo rejected him. Not only did Bakugo reject him, but he did in the worst way possible.
Uraraka slid off the bed, walking on her knees over to where Midoriya was sitting on his All Might carpet. Midoriya remained frozen in place with his arm propped in the air and his hand still in the position it had been to let his phone slide off his hand. Slowly, Uraraka wrapped her arms around Midoriya and pulled him close.
Resting Midoriya against her stomach, Uraraka wrapped her arms around Midoriya and leaned forward to shelter his body. As soon as she settled into the position, she felt Midoriya’s body begin to shake. “I’m so sorry, Izuku.”
Whatever power those words held were enough for the rest of Midoriya’s resolve to vanish. He sobbed into Uraraka’s shirt, feeling like he just lost all of his worth in one minute. Once he was able to process what he was feeling, his mind only got worse as he felt like a horrible person for feeling undesirable upon being rejected.
“It’s his loss Izuku. You are an amazing person, and you have so much love to offer. If Bakugo doesn’t want you, there is someone even better and more deserving of your love out there waiting for you to find them,” reassured Uraraka, rocking Midoriya back and forth as her knees were burning.
“I’m such an idiot,” cried Midoriya out loud. He could believe that he ruined everything because he was too selfish. He should have lived in blissful ignorance, never knowing if Bakugo could have loved him back or not. Now he’d forever feel the sting of being a male whenever he heard Bakugo’s voice.
Four days passed by and Midoriya avoided Bakugo like the plague. If Midoriya was socializing with Kirishima and he heard Bakugo’s footsteps approaching, he would leave without uttering another word. If Todoroki invited him to train and Bakugo was going to be there, Midoriya shut down the offer quickly. It didn’t take long for the entire class to notice the giant rift that seemed to appear between Bakugo and Midoriya overnight.
After the second war, the two were inseparable.
Wherever Midoriya was, Bakugo was hovering nearby. They trained together, did school work together, and spent much more time with one another. Now it’s been days, and they had not been seen near one another once. Midoriya didn’t once mention Bakugo in conversation. Bakugo seemed more irritable than usual, but no one wanted to risk getting blown up.
Finally, Mina and Kirishima had enough. They assumed that Bakugo and Midoriya had been secretly dating for the past two years, and they weren’t about to let the duo suffer in silence.
“Blasty! We need to talk,” demanded Mina, as she pounded on Bakugo’s door.
After waiting five long seconds, the door flew open. An enraged Bakugo stood on the other side with his fist crackling with mini explosions. “Who the hell do you think you are banging on my door like that Pinky!?”
“An angry mother is who I am right now!” shouted Mina, shoving her way through, surprising both Kirishima and Bakugo.
“What is going on?” questioned Bakugo, following behind Mina angrily.
Kirishima tilted his head to the side and leaned it forward with an unimpressed expression. “Really bro? Do you really expect us not to notice how suddenly you and Midoriya haven’t interacted once in the past couple days?”
Bakugo crossed his arms, sneering at the duo. “It’s none of your business!”
“Well excuse us for being weirded out how Midoriya hasn’t mentioned you once and how you haven’t trained once with him,” remarked Mina, snapping rather fast at Bakugo. She didn’t like whatever was going on between her classmates. They were about to graduate high school and be official heroes. Now was the worst time for petty fights.
“He’s the one who’s been avoiding me,” revealed Bakugo with a strange tone.
Kirishima and Mina shared a concerned glance. Midoriya distancing himself from Bakugo was a bad sign. Nothing Bakugo had ever done in their first year had been enough to drive Midoriya away. With their bond being incredibly close, something really bad must have happened to cause such a dramatic reaction from Midoriya.
Trying to recall how Midoriya had been acting and behaving over the past four days, Mina and Kirishima were still left with no answers. The only thing they really know is that Midoriya has spent a large amount of time with Uraraka.
“Oh… do you have any idea why?” asked Kirishima calmly, growing increasingly more invested in whatever drama bomb they may have missed.
“Yeah, I have a pretty good idea why,” admitted Bakugo quickly, looking at his hand with a small frown.
Mina rolled her eyes, shoving Bakugo lightly. “Stop being so cryptic and just tell us what happened already.”
“Izuku called me and told me he liked me.”
Mina gasped so hard she fell into a violent coughing fit. Kirishima patted her back to try and help but was equally surprised by the news. They couldn’t believe Midoriya and Bakugo hadn’t been in a secret relationship. As soon as the surprise faded away, a lingering fear arose.
Midoriya confessed. After said confession he avoided Bakugo and hadn’t mentioned him once. Bakugo rejected Midoriya.
“Dude… what the hell did you say?” responded Kirishima, aware that whatever came out of Bakugo’s mouth next would determine how hard the hit he was about to give him was.
Bakugo was quiet for far too long. Mina was standing in the corner of the room with her arms crossed. She loved Bakugo dearly, but she wasn’t going to let him get away with being a complete and utter idiot.
“I said ew.”
Kirishima punched Bakugo hard enough to earn a loud, “Fuck!”
Mina shook her head, raising a hand to cover her face. “You are horrible.”
“I know. That’s not even the worst part,” sighed Bakugo, taking a couple steps away from Kirishima.
“What did you do?’ whispered Mina, a panic rising to the surface. If her crush said ew at her when she confessed, that would have been enough for her to never show her face again.
Bakugo swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he looked down at his feet. “I uh… I may have said "but you’re a boy”.”
Kirishima raised both hands to his head as he simultaneously threw his head back. Mina on the other hand fell to the ground, covering her face. Bakugo watched their dramatic displays of disapproval and felt panic fully set in. He knew he fucked up the moment the words came out of his mouth, but the conversation was an uncomfortable one and he still gets mean when he’s nervous even if he’s been working with a therapist for the past two years.
In the end, Bakugo still would have rejected Midoriya. Not because he didn’t like Midoriya or that he didn’t find him attractive, but rather he wasn’t mentally prepared for a relationship. There was something so daunting about the idea even though he would enjoy dating Midoriya.
Not feeling like he'd be good enough was the one thing that would always make Bakugo the bad guy. He lets his insecurities get the best of him and he takes it out on those around him. He didn’t think he’d make a good partner, and he felt like he’d lose Midoriya forever for rejecting him. In the heat of the moment, he said whatever it took to push Midoriya away.
In an attempt to save his own pride, Bakugo had deeply hurt and invalidated the most important person in his life. Now the person he wanted nothing more than to be around no longer felt comfortable being around him.
He knew he had no one else to blame. It was clear in the reaction of his friends.
“I know I fucked up. I know I really really fucked up. I knew that within the seconds he didn’t respond and before he hung up on me. I’m a fucking idiot and I ruin everything good in my life,” vented Bakugo, clenching his fists tightly.
“Dude, now isn’t the time to throw yourself a pity party. Now is the time to go find Midoriya, apologize, and actually say what you meant to say. He clearly cares about you enough that he developed romantic feelings for you. I’m sure he’d appreciate you apologizing,” corrected Kirishima, not allowing for this issue to develop any longer.
Mina scowled at Bakugo, tugging at his ear. “If he doesn’t forgive you, I wouldn’t blame him. Really? Ew? That poor boy probably spent so much time mustering the courage to confess and you tell him ew? And then you point out that he’s a guy? You might as well have just called him a murderer and been on your way,” chastised Mina, feeling incredibly overprotective of Midoriya after the wars.
Bakugo didn’t fight back, knowing his friends were right. He screwed up and he had the responsibility of fixing it. Midoriya was in love with him, and it felt like a dream being confessed to. Yet, he felt unqualified and proved exactly why he felt that way.
Taking in a deep breath, Bakugo swiftly threw open his door, closed it behind him, and ran to the elevator.
Even if his apology was accepted, Bakugo knew that it would take a lifetime to make it up to Midoriya.
Epilogue: They get married and adopt five kids by the time they are thirty. Mina, Kirishima, and Uraraka all downed their shots bi-weekly, fully paid for by Bakugo. Kirishima and Mina got their shots for their role in knocking sense into him. Uraraka got her shots as payment for allowing Midoriya to hear him out when he showed up at Midoriya's dorm door to apologize.
BNHA After The 431 Part 3
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