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Avantually - Blog Posts

5 months ago

Yall, I think I fucked up and pavloved myself into being a stone top 😖😖

So I'm a switch; When domming, I'm generally stone-a touch me not. With sexual trauma, bottom dysphoria, very little physical sensation, and ocd being weird with fluid exchange, it makes obvious sense why. Additionally, my style of dominance that lends itself to pillow princesses who want to be edged and teased, rather than service subs. Quite literally if I am to let them go down on me, it's for their pleasure and enjoyment. It's amusing, but I don't really get much of any physical enjoyment out of it.

So then when I'm subbing, it's less about physical sensation and more the act of submission itself. My subby side is very "pillow princess good girl". I sit there and look pretty while they play with me. The verbal teasing does everything for me. I am very squirmy and make pretty little whimpers, but I still don't feel an awful lot (though more than I do when domming). Being a pillow princess, they obviously play with me, groping and teasing me.

So. The issue:

The only time I get significant sexual stimulation to my tiddies is when I'm subbing.

Guess what happens when a switchy trans girl who I'm domming begs to suck my nipples and i let her?

Immediately my head is filled with all sorts of atrociously submissive thoughts

Oops.

Plus now it's self perpetuating too, as the stimulus likely has to be further avoided when domming if im to avoid dom drop 😖.


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