Alexei Vronsky X Reader

auroras-fics

1 month ago

𝐀 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

pairing: alexei vronsky x reader

tw: sadness, fluff, tears, mention of adultery, internal conflict, feelings of guilt, self-doubt, feeling of shame

message: to the ones who hate themselves for feeling a certain way.

5.4K words

The chandeliers dripped with candlelight, their glow colouring the vast ballroom in a shade of gold. Music in the air, but it was distant, muffled, as though you were submerged beneath water. The perfume of waltzing couples amplified the air, along with the scent of the strawberry pastries and champagne.

There, in the middle of it all, in the middle of the ballroom. Him.

Your husband, your Count, wearing his white button up shirt with golden buttons. His hair glowing in the golden light of the chandeliers. His posture being the epitome of his nobility. But his hands — his hands were around another's waist. Leading her in the sensual waltz.

The woman's face lay against his shoulder, a smile adorning her face. He leaned in, his lips ghosting her ear, whispering something meant for her, only her. Something he had once whispered to you.

What was once a sentimental moment for you and your husband was now shared with your husband and some other woman.

The woman's laugh rang through the room, delicate and sultry. Her laugh had seemed to drain out any other sound of the ballroom.

You felt your throat close up. You tried to call out for him, but no sound escaped your lips. The room felt stuffy, as if the walls were closing in on you. The walls stretching, the heavy fabric of your dress suddenly feeling as if it was strangling you.

Your hands clenched around the silk of your dress, you swallowed hard.

His gaze met your eyes as he spun her around. A glint of amusement, recognition, and something else, something sinister. His gaze left you right just as it met yours, as if you were easily dismissible. You, his wife, the woman he swore to protect, the woman bearing his child.

Suddenly the ballroom chandelier was too bright, the smell of strawberries and champagne being all too much, the sound of the music turned from a sentimental, beautiful ballad to a mocking tone, as if it were telling you that you lost.

You were not enough for him to stick to you. Not enough for him to love. Even the fact that you were growing his child inside of you did not make him stay; you meant nothing to him.

You felt your knees buck as you felt nauseous, feeling as if you were mere seconds away from fainting. Your eyes shut for a second and you embraced yourself for the impact with the floor — you gasped, your eyes shooting open, your chest heaving up and down, panting.

You looked around the room, you were in your chambers, in your nightgown, a strong arm around your very pregnant stomach, a face nuzzled into your neck, snoring softly. The scent of your husband filling your nose.

You shifted your head to look at his face, fast asleep. You let out a breath, still coming down from the gut wrenching feeling of betrayal you felt in your dream. It felt so real; so genuine, as if he would wake up and betray you like he did in real life.

It made your dinner from last night want to escape you. You sat up slowly, leaning against the fancy headboard of the bed. Alexei's arm dropping from your waist to your lap. He stirred in his sleep, feeling you shift, he didn't wake from his slumber as he still felt your warmth near him.

You let out a shaky breath, feeling tears well up in your eyes. You felt foolish, ridiculous even, for crying over such a thing. For being angry at him for such an act, an act he did not even commit. An act he would never so much as imagine committing.

Your husband — your hardworking, devoted, uxorious husband — was right next you, lightly snoring, his chest heaving up and down slowly in a peaceful, rhythmic pattern — contrasting yours immensely — in a blissful state of tranquility. Completely unaware of the storm that raged inside you.

The feeling clung to you, as if the dream had left a scar. Not Alexei — no, he would never allow for that dream to become reality; Count Vronsky might be many things, but unfaithful? Disloyal? Coldhearted? No, those words would never belong to him

You were not unaware of how loyal your husband was, no, he made his intentions with you very clear, since the beginning of your courtship. He is to love and care for you, in sickness, in health, in happiness, in sorrow, in peace, in anger. Whatever it was; he was to love and care for you.

He vowed to it. And everyone knew when the Vronsky's vowed to something — they would rather die than have that vow broken.

You knew all of this, you knew, and yet you were still crying. What sort of wife doubts her husband? Even in the captivity of her own mind?

Your oh so loving husband. The husband that goes riding with you when you feel like it, the husband that smiles at you adoringly as you speak about your daily activities, the husband that whispers sweet nothings to your unborn child before vanishing into a peaceful slumber every night.

Natheless, the image of another woman in his arms, a content smile on his face, the look of love in his eyes as he stared at her. The thought haunted you, like a phantom, unwilling to leave you alone.

You sniffled and wiped your tears with your hands, taking in a shaky breath. Ridding the tears that had no right to exist. Merely for more unjust tears to flow out of your waterline. Your heart burned in your chest, your stomach churned. It felt as if there was a pit in your stomach.

Your baby came into your mind, all this unnecessary stress would be bad for the baby. His baby. You calmed yourself for the health of your baby. Though the calmness did not guarantee that the sorrow would dissolve.

The light shone through the space in the curtains, softly whispering to you, telling you that it was morning. You hear soft noises from outside your chambers — the maid were already working.

You looked back at your husband, the light softly hitting his face, making him look oh so beautiful. You were truly a lucky woman to have such a handsome Count as your husband. It made you insecure; he was so beautiful, he was adored by all the young debutantes'. Eyes filled with thirst to grab at him any chance they get, but he was a married man.

You criticised yourself, comparing yourself to those debutante's, even though you yourself were one just a year and a half ago.

You sighed softly as you slipped your legs off the bed, gently pushing yourself off the bed, waddling to the door, leaving Alexei in bed, fast asleep. You opened your door and peeked your head out, looking for one of the maids to help you change into your day gown.

"Vanya!" You whispered as you caught a glimpse of her right before she put her foot down on the first step of the staircase to make her way downstairs. She furrowed her brows and looked for the source of the voice that had just called out her name.

"Vanya" You whispered again, she looked at you, her face relaxing and a soft smile displaying on her lips.

"Countess, you are awake, much earlier than expected" She smiled as she made her way to the door of your chambers. You smiled softly, a smile that did not quite reach your eyes.

"Well, the little one does not allow me to rest in comfort." You joked as you put a hand on your stomach and rubbed your swollen belly. Vanya smiled at you, looking down at your bump and then back at you.

"I would like to get ready for the day" You smiled at her, and opened the door slightly more. She glanced inside to see the Count still in bed, deep in slumber. She looked back at you and furrowed her brows, you never wake before the Count, it was either the both woke at the same time, or the Count stayed in bed with you until you woke.

"Uh yes, Countess, right away" Vanya shook her thought away and looked down at the floor as you opened the door slightly more for her to enter, closing the door after she entered. You guided her to your boudoir that was connected to the bedchamber.

Vanya's gaze on the floor until she reached the familiar tiles of the boudoir, to respect the Count's privacy. She headed straight to the dresses and chemises and petticoats, skipping the corsets because you were nearing your due date, meaning you were too big for corsets.

She helped you dress, wearing a blue dress with fur lining around the collar of the dress and the sleeves of the dress. You had asked her to not put any jewelry on you, you felt overwhelmed enough. After changing you guided Vanya out of the bedchamber and she helped you down the staircase to the commons.

You sat yourself at the loveseat near the big window, overlooking your beautiful garden, a book on your lap and your eyes still tired from the lack of sleep and the feeling of insecurity. You watched how the cold, Russian, autumn breeze made the trees sway, your flowers swaying in the process as well.

"Countess, I must suggest that you breakfast" Polina, another house maid, said walking into the commons. You looked away from the window and looked at her.

"Is it ready?" You asked putting a hand on your stomach and pushed off the loveseat with as much energy you could muster up.

"Yes, ma'am, would you like for one of the men to wake the Count?" She asked as she held the door open for you to head out the commons and walk to the dining.

"No, that is not necessary, I would much rather have him well rested" You said simply and walked to the table, allowing Polina to pull out a chair for you and help you sit down.

"Very well" She said simply and left you alone to eat all by your lonesome. Leaving you alone with your thoughts. Not the best idea with the storm raging within you since even before you woke up.

-

Alexei grumbled something under his breath as he stirred awake. His arm naturally going to feel you, touch you in some way, but he was met with a cold spot in the bed, and not your swollen belly. His eyes shot open, and he sat up, looking around the room to find you.

He sighed and rubbed his face in his hands to wash away any feeling of fatigue so he could go on with his day. He removed the soft quilt off of him and got off the bed to get ready for his day. Slightly concerned about your whereabouts.

Since he had married you, he had never woken up in an empty bed, you were always beside him, but he did not worry his mind too much about it; he knew you'd be at home.

He made his way downstairs, stopping at the end of the stairway, thinking about where you would be, that is until he saw Polina.

"Ah Polina," He called out for her, Polina stopped in her tracks and turned to the Count.

"Good morning Count" She greeted him with a smile. He nodded back as a greeting.

"Would you know where my wife is?" He asked as he looked around the first floor of the house, as if in search of her.

"She is in the dining, breaking her fast" Polina explained and nodded slightly towards the doors of the dining, down the hall. Alexei nodded, as if thanking her and walked away, walking with a purpose to see you and his child in the dining.

He softly opened the doors and turned to the table to see you, poking your fork into your egg. He smiled softly and made his way to you, slowly, so as to not startle you.

"Good morning, my dove" He said softly and kneeled down beside you, his hand already on your belly. You turned and smiled at him, a smile that you gave to Vanya when you woke that morning.

"Good morning" You smiled at him and greeted him back. He kissed your cheek and then bent down slightly more to place a kiss on your belly.

"Good morning to you too, kroshka" He mumbled against your belly as he planted his kiss. You smiled, your heart feeling heavy. This was the man you were doubting. The man that came straight to you after waking, to kiss you on the cheek, and to kiss your belly, to greet you with a sweet tone on his lips.

You picked up your fork again and poked it into the sausage on your plate. Alexei stood properly and sat on the chair next to you, nodding at the servant who was in the dining hall to get him his food. He turned back to you, a soft look in his eyes.

"You did not wake me, serdtse moyo" He said, watching you carefully as you ate. Making sure you had enough nutrients to carry on your day and carry his child.

"You looked so peaceful, I did not want to interrupt" You said simply, not even sparing him a glance. Alexei raised a brow at your tone and your action, confused.

"Very thoughtful of you," He said softly, trying to understand you. Ever since the doctor had told you that you were with child, he had been extra careful with his actions and words around you. Knowing how his brother's wife acted when she was with child, he learned his lesson.

A maid had come in with a plate of food and placed it in front of him. He picked his fork up and started to eat, right after taking a sip of water to quench the dryness of his throat. Eating in silence, which would usually be calming but at this moment it felt as if tension would not leave you.

"How did you spend your morning my love?" Alexei asked, trying to make conversation to ease the tension.

"Just some light reading" You said simply, which wasn't technically a lie, you had tried to read but your thoughts were too loud for you to properly comprehend what was going on in your story. Alexei nodded at your answer, expecting you to continue speaking about your book, explain the plot and your side commentary.

But you just stopped speaking, eating your eggs.

He looked at you, watching you deliberately. You didn't spare him a glance, making his heart hurt and his head think about everything he's done since yesterday to make you act so cold towards him.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly, his hand reaching for your hand that was on the table. Softly rubbing your knuckle with his thumb. You finally looked at him, your eyes held a sadness he couldn't bear to see. You tried to hide the sadness with faulty joy.

"I am fine, why?" You asked, masking the pain you feel in your heart and the pit in your stomach.

"Are you tired? Did the little one not let you rest?" He asked, his hand going back to your stomach to feel his child. You shook your head, heart warming at his concern. The eggs taste bittersweet on your tongue.

Your heart was warming up and crumbling all at the same time. You wanted to tell him that you were fine, that you were happy and content, to tell him about your dream and have him tell you he'd never do something so cruel to you.

But shame filled you. The thought of telling him that you doubted him, the look of hurt on his face if you were to tell him, you feared that you could not handle it.

"I am fine, Alexei, please calm your mind" You chuckled as you looked at him with a smile on your face. The smile on your face told him to not worry, but the look in your eyes told him that something was wrong. But he let it go, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"Very well" He mumbled and continued to break his fast, his hand still on yours. You finished up your food and stood up from your seat, Alexei's gaze moving from his plate to you.

"If you need me, I will be in the commons" You said simply and waddled out of the dining room, leaving Alexei in the dining by himself. The act made Alexei's heart crumble in his chest. You had never left him to eat alone, you had either waited until he finished eating to leave the dining together, or he would finish before you and do the same for you.

Alexei watched you leave and once the door shut he turned to the servant who was in the corner of the room. The servant himself looked confused at your actions, it was very unlike you.

"Do you reckon I did something that upset her?" Alexei asked the servant to see what anyone from an outside perspective had anything to say about it. The servant looked down to the floor before he spoke.

"No Count, it is not in my recollection, perhaps it is the gloomy weather that has made the Countess act this way" The servant answered with proper thought.

"Hmm perhaps" Alexei mumbled and looked down at his glass of water. He stood up abruptly and left the dining, leaving his food half finished.

"Feed the remaining to Frou-Frou, will you please" He said to the servant as he made his way out the doors, wracking his mind as to what he could have done to make you act so cold towards him. He went to the commons, following you, and sitting on the seat opposite to the loveseat you were sat on. You were once again reading your book.

Not really reading; you were stuck on the phrase ‘Was it a vision, or a waking dream? Fled is that music:—Do I wake or sleep?’ not fully able to comprehend or understand what the book was trying to say, for your mind was much too occupied from your dream.

It did however seem as if the world was telling you something, was it just a dream, or was it a vision? You had asked yourself, over analysing everything in your life. Was the world trying to tell you something by sending you signs?

Don’t worry too much of it. It was just a visio- dream. Just a normal dream.

Alexei watched you closely as you were in reverie, hiding behind the newspaper, pretending to read and glancing ever so often at you to see the state that you were in. Trying to understand you and what was going on in your head.

You had not turned your page for a while, and Alexei, knowing that you were quite a fast reader compared to the other ladies of the season, was worried. Were you not actually reading?

“Milaya moya, what is that you think so deeply about?” He asked, breaking the silence and tension in the room. You jumped slightly, startled, putting a hand on your sternum as a reaction to the shock.

“Ah, Alexei, you startled me, I did not notice you” You laughed slightly, looking at him.

‘I did not noticed you’

But you always notice when he walks in the room. Your eyes always light up, your smile always deepens, and your shoulders relax knowing that he was there to take care of you.

Your words upset him, he knew something was clogging your mind, he just did not know what exactly it was. He was determined to find out and rid you of those thoughts to make you happy, to see you happy.

“I was rather silent, I suppose” Alexei said, pushing his thoughts of sadness away, trying to figure you out.

“Now, my love, do tell, what is bothering you” He said, putting the newspaper down onto the seat and getting up, making his way to you, kneeling right in front of you so you would meet his eyes.

“I have told you, I am f-” You started but Alexei cut you off, softly.

“And do not say that you are fine, because you seem very enervating” He said and softly placed one hand on your knee and the other on your stomach.

“I do not wish for you to stress, my dove, it will only cause you and the child harm, so please do tell me what is causing you to be so burdened. Put it on me so I can carry that burden for you” He said softly, his eyes sincere and carrying a pain, and empathy, a mixture you never want to see in his eyes.

You looked down, feeling your eyes start to water, your throat started to burn, your eyes stinging slightly. You did not want to meet his eye, you felt shameful. Felt disgusting for feeling the way you feel.

You trusted him, you really did, but the dream, the vision, felt so real, so genuine, it was hard to not brood.

He reached his hand up to your cheeks, cupping it right after pushing a stray strand fall from your beautifully plaited hair.

“Darling,” He said softly, reminding you that he was still there. To listen, to hear, and understand you. You swallowed and licked your lips. You looked at him, through your eyelashes, his eyes boring into yours. His eyes, so blue and clear, every single feeling of concern and sadness engraved into them.

You cleared your throat and shook your head.

“I would like some time alone” You whispered and looked back down to your lap, watching his hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing the fabric of your dress.

The hope in Alexei’s eyes left and he felt his shoulders slump. He licked his lips and stood up, lending out a hand to you to hold. You looked up at him when you saw him stretching his hand out for you to use to get back up on your feet. He had a soft smile on his face, calming your nerves.

“Then time alone is what you shall get” He said and nodded to his stretched out hand for you to grab onto, to help you stand up.

“That is with me at a safe distance” He quickly added as you closed your book, putting it to the side and putting your hand in his, allowing him to pull you up. He led you out of the commons and walked the hallway.

“Where would you like to go for some time alone?” He asked, still holding onto your hand gently, taking smaller strides than normal to match your pace.

“The garden” You whispered, looking around your home, as he nodded and led you to the doors to the garden. He held the door open for you and allowed you to head out first, you walked along the pathway, walking to the gazebo near the garden wall. He followed suit.

-

An hour passed, you had watched the leaves on the tree fall due to the weather; thinking to yourself that you’d have to ask one of the men to clean it up. You watched how your flowers were slowly decaying, some surviving due to the fact that winter was not that close.

The Count had watched your every step, every content smile, everytime you put a hand on your stomach when you felt your baby kick.

He watched as you threw two or three pebbles into the fountain, watched as you smelled your flowers, watched as you swung the leaves on your willow tree. He adored you, he yearned to be beside you, to help you; but he respected your wish to be alone for some time.

But now that some time had gone by, he felt as if it was time to talk to you again. The once very pained look in your eyes had become less weary. You looked content, but something was still bothering you. He walked to the rose bushes, lined up beautifully near the fountain, picked up a red rose and walked towards you with a purpose.

You sighed, feeling the feeling inside of you slowly dissipate, but somehow remnants of it remained. You were bathing in the cold-warm light of the sun when a rose appeared in front of you. You furrowed your brows and looked at the individual who had just offered you the rose.

You tilted your head slightly to look past the rose to look at your husband who had a small, soft, smile on his face as he gazed at you lovingly.

“A rose for your thoughts” He said and lowered the rose from right in front of your face, and handed it to you normally. You took the rose from him and inhaled the scent of the sweet rose. Your eyes closed peacefully. He admired you as you did so.

You opened your eyes again and looked at him; the pain in your heart had lessened by now, your eyes now holding some form of happiness, a feeling of content.

“Would you like to tell me what is bothering you?” He asked softly, his hands behind his back, enlocked with one another, waiting patiently for your answer. You sucked in your cheek and looked at the rose in your hands, feeling the texture of a petal between your thumb and index finger.

You nodded softly and looked back up at him. He smiled and offered you his elbow to hold onto. You softly wrapped your arm around his elbow, the rose in your other hand as he led you to the gazebo. He pulled out a chair from a little tea table there.

“Sit, you have been standing for long enough” He said and helped you sit down. Once you relaxed onto the chair, he kneeled down and put his hand on your knees, dirtying his nice dress pants.

“Alexei, your trousers” You said watching him get on his knees in front of you to be on eye level with you.

“Doesn’t matter, what matters is whatever that is bothering you” He said, cupping your face in his hands. You sighed softly and leaned into his hand. He looked at you attentively, ready for whatever it is you were about to say.

“I had a dream” You started, looking straight into his eyes. It was time for you to be brave and swallow whatever bitter taste there was in your mouth.

Alexei nodded, urging you to continue. You deep breath and continued,

“I had a dream where you were in another's arms” You said, your voice lowering as you spoke, the confidence dissipating as you admitted to him. Alexei’s brows furrowed and he tilted his head, utterly confused. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“We were at a ball, perhaps it was Viscount Motka’s function — that is apart from the point —. You were dancing with another woman, it made me feel… feel rather strange” You said, taking a deep breath before continuing to tell him how your dream made you feel. Alexei looked pained.

“Please do not be cross with me, I do not mean to doubt you, but it seems as if the dream has shaken me quite a bit” You said quickly, trying to comfort him.

“I feel atrocious just feeling this way, I do not want to feel such a horrible emotion. I do not even know how to describe it —” You started, ranting slightly, he cut you off by placing his lips softly on yours.

A kiss.

Your eyes fluttered close and you kissed him back. It was rather odd, you usually partake in such endeavours in the privacy of your bed chambers. His hands cupping your face had never left you. He pulled away and laid his forehead on yours, nose nudging one another.

“My dove, now why on Earth would you be so perturbed over a dream?” He asked, slightly chuckling at your silly antiques. You pouted as he chuckled, and he stopped right away.

“It felt real, Alexei. I was hurt” You pouted deeper and your eyes were sad. Alexei felt his heart crumble at the look on your face.

“My darling, I would never do something like that to you. They could torture me for days to do so, and I would not. My respect and love for you is ineffable” He said, a smile on his face, feeling a lot better about the whole situation.

Not the issue of you being sad, but the fact that he can help you feel better. All this time he had thought he did something wrong, that he did something to hurt you — and if he did, he would never find a way to forgive himself.

He could now do this favourite thing; to show you how much he loved you.

You looked down at the rose on your lap, feeling abashed. Alexei moved one of his hands to your chin to tilt it up, making you look at him.

“Do not doubt my love for you.” He said simply, his eyes so loving, so soft, so delicate. His touch on you is so intricate, as if he would touch you any harder, your skin would bruise, as if you would break into pieces. As if you would slip through his fingers like sand.

He moved his hand to hold your cheek again, this time firmly as if it would prove anything. He started,

“From the moment I close my eyes to the second I open them again, you are there. You are in every single thought I have, in every single thing I look at. Your smell does not leave me, no matter how far I am from you. Your smile– engraved into my head and it brings me strength when you are absent from my side.

So do not for a moment even consider that I do not love you because you are the better part of me. And if you ever so find yourself doubting the love I have for you, do tell me and I will spend every waking moment on this earth proving my love to you.” He said, looking so deeply into your eyes, his face mere millimetres away from yours, eyes holding so much love, so much adoration.

You felt a tear escape your eye and he wiped it away. He removed his forehead from yours and tilted your head down slightly to set a kiss on your forehead. He stayed there, kissing your forehead for a bit and then moved to put his forehead on yours again.

Looking at you with the same look in his eyes. You smiled softly at home, you heart content, the pit in your stomach long gone, the pain in your heart and head, all gone.

“I love you” You whispered, looking deeply into his eyes. His smiled deepened and he kissed the top of your nose, which was now cold from the chilly autumn breeze.

“Apart from that, why would I want to dance with another, when I married the best dancer?” He asked, trying to make a joke to lighten the air. You let out a small laugh and shook your head, he laughed softly, his heart warming at the sound of your bubbly laugh.

He let go of you and stood up, lending out a hand for you to hold.

“It is getting colder outside, shall we go in, my Countess?” He asked sweetly. You smiled and put your hand in his, he pulled you up. You wrapped your arm around his bicep, your other hand gripping the rose he had given you.

“We shall, my Count” You said softly laying your head on his shoulder as he guided you back in the house. Leaving all your doubts and weariness outside.

fin.

alexei vronsky masterlist: liked this? read more!

Tags

x reader fluff angst hes so pretty hes so babygirl my man he's so beautiful f!reader atj atj x reader aurora writes alexei vronsky x fem!reader alexei vronsky alexei vronsky x reader alexei vronsky x you anna karenina 2012

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auroras-fics

1 month ago

Teasers !

WHAT ARE TEASERS?

teasers are little posts about a certain fic that is in the making. a small scene from the fic, if you will. to keep you, the reader, hooked!

WHY?

i honestly don't know. i guess i just feel bad when it takes me a while to write a fic, and keep you guys waiting, so i said why not?

aaron taylor johnson:

alexei vronsky:

࿔*:･ A Rose for your Thoughts

dave lizewski:

࿔*:･ Missed Movie

more is on the way .ᐟ

click here to go back to NAVIGATION

Tags

x reader smut fluff angst fem!reader aaron taylor johnson dave lizewski x reader tangerine f!reader bullet train kick ass dave lizewski tom ryder tangerine x reader teasers atj atj x reader aaron taylor johnson x reader anna karenina auroras teasers aurora writes alexei vronsky x fem!reader alexei vronsky alexei vronsky x reader alexei vronsky x you

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auroras-fics

1 month ago

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑: 𝐀 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

pairing: alexei vronsky x reader

warning, this is not proof-read so there might be minor mistakes

“Milaya moya, what is it that you think so deeply about?” He asked, breaking the silence and tension in the room. You jumped slightly, startled, putting a hand on your sternum as a reaction to the shock.

“Ah, Alexei, you startled me, I did not notice you” You laughed slightly, looking at him.

‘I had not noticed you’