been working on my icy boy, who ive put into a valorant au since last year, but im awfully slow so heres a first glace at...well...him :>
ive been trying to polish him and his bg stuff as best as i could for a couple of months now and honestly i cant wait to start posting more
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Matrix Agent Replacement Victim
Red has no game. Ain't no way that guy has anything in that head other than being a good DOMA agent
I finished my novel a couple months back and have been on and off the polishing business. But this week (ending today) I have finally arrived at the point of sending it to literary agents. It is an exhilarating and unnerving moment at the same time because I’m young, inexperienced and most of all, a terrible self-selling man. I hold it to be a huge injustice against artists, looking for representation, that they have to be able to promote themselves, market themselves because all through history it’s been common sense that they are the most shy, introverted people. Well, I’m not the typical introverted person but I still don’t like talking about what I’ve written. I like writing it fine, even discussing it but not like a used car salesman, who’s trying to point out why a wreck is still something to be wanted. Anyway, it’s beside the point--it would be if I had a point. I guess I’m just trying to get some feelings out of my system. I genuinely love the period of writing and creating but now I feel like an alien, who’s destined to fail, though I hope I’m destined to succeed but my emotions are hard to control. But now, off to bed, off to sweet dreams.
I have sent out about a dozen query letters in the past one week. I had a list of about a houndred agencies and this is what I've got. Not very many...
I know they are busy people in this business and I know, that probably I'm not contributing the best, that there is. It's my first book after all, and while I'm wholly satisfied and I know what deep intents there are buried in this book, it's completely clear to me, that I am not the smartest person living or the greatest artist ever. I'm just one guy, who gets excited very easily and follows surreal dreams...
But this all is because I trust in my Maker. If he wants to, I'll be having a new mail tomorrow, informing me about a contract offer. He can do miracles and He can help me out of being stuck in my life.
I have a wonderful girlfriend, who encourages me a great deal and who loves me all the time, through good and bad (mostly bad). I know we're young but I really know She's the One for me...
I know I'm having a lot presently and I shouldn't be greedy. I shouldn't be always complaining about how my free-education sucks and how I want things. Perhaps I shouldn't be wanting certain things... I don't know. There are matters, which I am overly fond of and I have unchangeable concepts but I don't want to be like this.
I know my life's going somewhere. I feel it in my bones, that tomorrow may be a different day from all my previous ones. And all I have to do for that is to actually not to do anything. To let go of control. To live life to its fullest and not try to shape it. I feel so loved, despite every hardships I go through. I guess I'll just have to let my life go according to where Love leads.
I may sound like a hippie or someone high. But I'm neither (though hippies can get kinda cool :P (sometimes)). I just know, that I have a God, who gives me something to look forward to :)
Captain America taught me that even if I’m a little, tiny sassy asthmatic shit, I still can be a (super)hero
Ironman taught me that doesn’t matter how deep I will be, the main thing is that I wouldn’t stay here
Black Widow taught me that I can be a bitch who fights as well as men, and yet I can still have feelings (and sometimes not under my control)
Hawkeye taught me that doesn’t matter if I’m weak or broke, what matters are my skills and inteligence
Agent Peggy Carter taught me that even if they think that I’m not good enough to do something, I’m still capable of more than I can ever imagine
James Bucky Barnes taught me that even if I did something bad in my past, it doesn’t define my future
Peter Parker taught me that everybody’s adventure is out here, waiting for all of us to find it
and finally
Stan Lee taught me all these things plus that;
My fantasy is a magical power and I shouldn’t be ashamed to use it
I’m capable of amazing things, all I have to do is to trust to myself
That to be a little weird for others means also that I have so much more joy and hapiness in my life than them.
Okay, a little “out of debate” post today but I just needed to wrote that down.
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Agent Margaret Carter
“I know my value.” *I tried.