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After I Put It In The Queue - Blog Posts

it's finally time to go get your promotion. you've been sick and tired working this job, so it's about damn time for a change and a raise. who knows, maybe you might afford two cups of noodles next time.

you go to see your boss. his office is at an absurdly high altitude - most humans, you're concerned, would start having issues with shortness of breath at that height. you get in the elevator - a cramped space with no windows, not even any music to accompany you. you wonder how they haven't fixed these yet, given how modern the building is.

the elevator breaks down not quite halfway through, but close enough. concerned colleagues look at you walk solemnly out of the elevator, and even though they want to ask you what's wrong, they don't need to when they see you walk up the stairs. they know.

you pass by far too many floors on your way up. you don't recognize anyone who works there, as they don't recognize you, so they're wary of you, like someone invading their territory. you sneak a passing glance at them before you're forced to climb the next floor.

you notice something weird as you approach the top - there seems to be more and more vegetation. not quite like the plants you see standing on the windowsill on the floors below - no, this is more like a network of branches. interweaving, persistently growing on the walls. you can't imagine how anyone might find this comforting. but whatever, not something you need to care about anyway.

you finally reach the top, and the vegetation is everywhere. the walls, the ceiling, some on the floor. and it's growing erratically - almost like someone planted seeds without consideration for spacing, leaving them to fight each other for control. and they all seem to point to one place - a chair of some kind.

the chair's back is turned to you, but you can see him - the guy running the whole operation. and it's so painfully clear he isn't human that you wonder how you didn't realize it sooner.

he turns around, clicking his beak excitedly and spreading his wings.

"Well", - he says, looking you up and down, - "I'm pheasantly surprised."


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