"One thing I'll never do is beg someone to choose me" - abt 300 words
I stared at the phone that contained all the messages of my love. Of my devotion. And yet that was how you repaid me. By playing with my feelings. Telling me that I was everything you wanted but now I’m nothing at all. You let me begin to love you, let me believe you would stay. In the end I gave my heart away and you threw it astray.
I know I don’t love you any more, that much is true. I do dislike you, as much as a girl that used to be in love could. I always had a feeling that the “us” would soon end. I didn’t want to believe it, and deluded myself anyway. I couldn’t- Wouldn’t see past the way you treated me; So gentle, so warmly. I let myself believe those touches were real, that you meant every word. But now I see you with her, so soon after we ended and I wonder if it was all just a lie. Every minute, every second, all this time, you never liked me. I was just in my fantasy, not facing reality, the truth.
Maybe you did like me…
But it was never going to be love. Not for us. I hope you're happy with her, since I couldn’t make you feel that way. I don’t like you, no not anymore. No more tears will be ever wasted on you. But I am jealous, just a little. That she gets the you I wanted to have, but in the end I won’t choose you. I don’t like you, I don’t love you, I don’t want to be your friend. I would never choose you over me, and I will never beg for you back.
You are the bare minimum and I do not need you. You can take your scarce texting, you barely holding my hand, all of that. Give it to her, or don’t. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So I take back what I said.
I don’t hope you're happy, I hope she is.
Cause I used to be her, and I don’t want her to be replaced too. She shouldn’t have to beg for your attention, and I shouldn’t have to either. I’m glad I didn’t. You can be a nice guy but a horrible boyfriend. And that’s what you were.
-Confessions of an Ex- Girlfriend