Holy Fuck I Let Myself Go Over Easter

Ended up losing my period again anyway...gonna restrict so fucking hard after exams. I'll keep at ~1k until then. But after that I'm proper ⭐️ving

I miss when I had a coach💔 ik it was bad but idc it worked for me (not recommending)

I can’t live like this anymore.

I deleted tumblr for the week because my phone had no storage but I’m back now.

I’ve had the worst time. It’s bad enough I was demotivated after getting t-worded but im actually so done.

Two months. Two fucking months in a plateau.

I caved. I weighed in. I knew it wouldn’t be completely accurate because I haven’t pooped in days, I’ve eaten today and I had chippy the day before, so it’d be high in sodium, but to see the scale jump up FIVE LBS since the pre-October weigh in was horrible. Last time I hit a lw was the last week of August. This isn’t fair.

Why am I putting my body through hell when all I get is no fucking energy, being sad all the time, JUST TO GET FUCKING FATTER!?

I count every calorie, I stress over everything, I’ve lied to my family and done everything I can just to gain weight even though I’ve been in a deficit on average of 500 cals a day(I take metab days but my deficit on other days evens it out). I should have lost like 8lbs since August but I haven’t.

And to make it all worse my parents caught me skipping lunch during school. So now they’re like stalking me to make sure I eat lunch, making me eat higher calorie dinners, and banning zero calorie drinks from me. There’s nothing I can do anymore. What do I do?

I’ll be living off of Monster and fruit.

When I move out I wanna OMAD a strawberry daiquiri and a fibre one bar a day

felt

Doing a 28hr fast because I’m having a kebab later. I’m exhausted though and I have school. Anyone got tips on getting energy during a fast? I used to be able to fast for 56hrs what happened to me😔 also I’m not tired because of fasting I’m just tired in general

reminiscing about the times when I could eat sugar without calling it a binge… The fat good ol’ days.

my life goals are to be disgustingly overeducated and extremely underweight

Ordered a mini stepper...its obviously not gonna be as good as if I were to get a walking pad but I'm unemployed af