"Be Afraid Of The Enormity Of The Possible"
"Be Afraid Of The Enormity Of The Possible"
yeah I fucking am now what???
More Posts from Zerkalno and Others
maybe I need to accept that I´m more of a thinker with impulse control issues than a doer
reblogging this because this is the right stance on it so u guys know I´m aware that this is the right stance on it
actually my posting is not ego-centric I just avoid mentioning others for data security issues
3 Jul 23
the way my great-grandma had this exact carpet in her flat
1312 hits different after being assaulted by cops
what is equally insane is how much worse things could have been, considering i´m read as a white woman. A few days ago the cops that killed Mouhammed Dramé , a 16-y/o black child in Germany last year, have been aquited! by court. He was spotted with a knife, pointing at himself and instead of an ambulance cops came round and had no better approach to prevent him from suicide than pepperspraying him, then shooting when he dashed forward towards them and away from the pepper spray. He died in hospital.
i´ve been in situations of similar structure, assumed to be unregulated and holding sharp objects and never was the event horizon being shot or even pepper sprayed. I pulled some real insane move once in a psychotic state, like potentially a SBC attempt that actually was aggressive towards a cop and didnt even get in police custody.
My encounters with cops and other institutional workers have def damaged me in several ways ( i feel I clawed my way out of the psychiatric complex these past months) and its not "i cant imagine how it must be to endure this manyfold and continiously", because actually now I can imagine better than before. but endure? idk
there´s so much pain and one of the things I need to relearn to survive is to feel rightful hatred/anger.. to let that be a uniting force with comrades. hope, too. I can´t keep piling up pain, mine and others´and be guilted into always-defensive modes of "allyship". i have my own struggle, my own hatred, my own scarred body I bring to this to counter the same enemies.
this body that I need to relearn to shelter and move and move to the appropriate space to me to be. to be at the right spaces and times ...
I still haven´t found a healthy amount and way of exposure to the news / the reality of necrocapitalism/genocides happening continiously since 2 centuries /...[..]
and I feel there´s a serious flaw in the intention of sharing graphic content and how these images operate:
some people can´t be phased or even enjoy consuming it. most of them "leftists" would see as political opponents (justifying or endorsing violence towards certains groups of people I guess is somewhat linked to fascism, just as blatant ignorance/denial of it)
some people are empathazing with said groups/localities/lives to the point of 2nd hand traumatization. Some of these people "leftists" would see as (at least potential, if politicized) allies or are among them.
now, if this is taken to be true, who does this the distribution of such images weaken ?
The obvious is defenseless like a gazelle stabbed by safety, like you. Like you in this field wide-open to armed archaeologists who never cease to interrogate you: Who are you? You check all your body parts and say: I am myself. They say: Where is the proof? You say: I am. They say: This is not enough. We need lack. So you say: I am both perfection and lack. They say: Say that you are a stone so we can end our excavation. You say: If only the young man were a stone. But they did not understand you.
Mahmoud Darwish, from In the Presence of Absence
the way acceptance will have to be the vessel to encompass everything including my insanity that was one to all the magnitude and multitude of things happening and I could not fully process
