Cute Nails ✮

jenny holzer, truisms

Hmm

I just saw a critique of “oh so transmascs can use a word which is clumsy in its etymology to talk on their oppression and we can’t criticize that, but TME/TMA is able to be criticized on that basis?”

And… it’s kinda different when you actually put these two things in context.

TMA/TME as a binary like cis/trans or multispec/mono or aspec/allo is on a first-stage of language creation, as far as I’m aware. There hasn’t been a 6+ year-long history of trying new words in the face of people nitpicking etymology while having the actual issue behind the needing a new term not engaged with in the meantime which proves that the word isn’t the actual problem and that this is only in-bad-faith in order to shut us up.

I understand the frustration, I even get a knee-jerk reaction to being told that the language you’re using is maybe not the best language (especially considering some of these people were the ones actively utilizing that tactic against transmascs wanting to speak on our issues; they’d be extra prone to be wary of this tactic). But a critique of the word choice itself being harmful isn’t in-and-of-itself a bad-faith critique, especially when it’s on a first attempt at the language and not a nitpick about etymology but a problem with labelling other people’s experiences as being totally exempt for them.

Like. On the surface you can make the “oh so transmascs don’t have to be perfect in their language but transfems do?” argument. But when you actually dig into what’s being discussed it really isn’t that simple.

As a trans woman and transfeminsit I'll try and explain this real simple for the people who need an ELI5, like the above OOP.

"TRF" is not even a pejorative just because people don't like the people they're calling that. It is an entirely straight-forward, factual description of a set of political beliefs taken from the title of a book that sells itself as reclaiming radical feminism, which all of the people called TRFs read and recommend to each other on a regular basis. Saying it's a pejorative and that TRFs don't exist just because they don't put it in their bio is completely ridiculous. They have absolutely zero problem identifying with the term and if I hadn't popularized it among people who are opposed to the ideology, I really don't doubt they would all have it in their bio.

The much more logical comparison would be transandrobro/dork. It's interesting it didn't bring that up, because that'd destroy it's whole fucking argument on it's own. That is an obviously hateful and insulting name for a group of people talking about their oppression. Yet even if we disagree on which group is legitimate and which isn't, you can still see that between the two one is meant to be demeaning and one is just the title of the fucking book they fuck the pages of. They do not actually have any problem with the comparison to radfems. If they thought TRF was insulting enough to be compared to any other derogatory word, then why was the book titled that? Why do they keep sharing around how brilliant it is? I need someone to explain it to me. What is offensive about TRF, and how can we reconcile that with the fact that you haven't all thrown the book called that all about reclaiming radical feminism onto a fire?

Now, 'Th**fab' on the other hand, first of all, was invented by cis men on 4chan with the intent to mock non-binary people. The only possible way to say it's not a slur is to deny this factual reality, but even if you did want to argue it was transfeminists who invented it, it'd still be a slur because it's essentially misgendering trans people in a way that this person specifically has complained about as being the worst most misgendering thing ever. I remember, because this silly twit tried using me to make the point.

If anything, it should be even more of a slur by it's standards, surely?

But here we also have laid bare the myth that non-binary people who are called that consciously choose to "cling to their AGAB." The definition of that isn't, as you might have thought, a non-binary person who "identifies" as AFAB, or lords it over trans women.

It's anyone who uses AGAB language at all. It's anyone who doesn't see the trans community solely in terms of TMA/TME. That's what makes you a fucking th**fab.

Plus, you know, th**fab is simply used as a slur. Just the other day I was talking about an extremely popular transfem Tumblr user who has been calling completely random trans men c**tboys for years and this January said that she's not so bitter and resentful as to be a trans woman who uses th**fab, but understands the complicated reasons why th**fab gets used. Which is just fucking bullshit, because less than a year before they used it to just casually call everyone but trans women to ugly to be sexually desired negatively. So that was just a massive fucking lie. Now that it's hot discourse again some TRFs are trying to play it like it's just an unfortunate reality of transmisogyny even though that doesn't match up how they themselves have used it in the past. It is a deliberate effort at lying to people.

I mean, in what world does those two screencaps - "I wouldn't ever use it but I understand the pressures that lead to it :/" vs. "lol th**fabs are unfuckable so who cares about their sexual objectification" - not prove that? That should have been the final word on the subject!

And speaking of how it's always been used, just to be thorough, I'll come back to my first point to help educate this crowd on the single biggest and most obvious reason it's a fucking slur and TRF isn't.

You're welcome, radfems. Stay after class, because I want to talk to you about your abhorrent behavior.

i do feel like TMA and TME can be useful terms in specific conversations but the way people treat them like a binary and as basically the progressive versions of AMAB and AFAB makes me have a knee-jerk reaction whenever i see them used and it makes me have to ask "is this person fucking weird about transmascs" and a lot of the time, they are, which is unfortunate because like i said i feel like they could be useful terms in certain discussions

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

not the same anon but here's a post with screenshots of a blatantly transmisogynistic ask that genderqueerdykes completely agreed with. pretty certain the original post was deleted after backlash

https://www.tumblr.com/coremilk/774757128066957312/pretend-you-didnt-see-that-this-is-a-level-of?source=share

Yeesh, thank you. I will unfollow them now. Thanks y'all for keeping us on our toes.

i go on instagram. i see that them magazine has posted an article about how to have sex with transmascs (written by a transmasc). i go to the comments. people complain about, amongst other things, how the first paragraph is transmisognistic and that there's no similar article for transfems. i go to the article. the first paragraph has a line about how transmascs are erased, with a link to an article about erasure. i leave instagram and put my head directly through the nearest wall