Do You Have Any Analysis Or Thoughts About The Scene Chapter 40 (Sophie Sees The Drawing Green Journal

Do you have any analysis or thoughts about the scene chapter 40 (Sophie sees the drawing green journal and that awkward conversation) sorry I just haven’t seen anyone discuss it yet

at first i didn't think this needed an analysis because it was a given what was going on - but i knew better than to let it slide and decided to give the scene a reread.

and oh boy.

if you yourself need a refresher, sophie has just come home from foxfire. keefe is under the panakes drawing after a training session with grady. sophie and keefe exchange their thoughts about their classes, the current stellarlune situation, and what keefe is drawing. keefe shows sophie that he drew ethan and eleanor's graves. during the discussion, keefe becomes frustrated and pushes the journals off his lap - flipping the green one open to the page where he had drawn sophie and fitz performing a cognate exercise.

sophie sees it as she is going to clean up the mess for him. she mentions that her and fitz's gazes are intense, but that's not what she's interested in: she's interested in how keefe drew her.

"Her hair was slightly messy, and her tunic was a little crooked, and she was slouching the way her human mom used to tell her would turn her spine into a twisty pretzel if she didn't work on better posture. But mostly, she looked like her. A little awkward. A whole lot nervous. Definitely not perfect. And... she kinda loved that about it."

this is all we get to hear from her before keefe snatches the journal away, feeling awkward that she discovered it. but this set of inner monologue holds a lot more weight than you think.

a) i want to focus really quick on the 'definitely not perfect' line. this is a direct tie-in to fitz.

only a handful of pages later, fitz and sophie complete their "cognate inquisition". during this, sophie enters fitz's 'core of verity' which is supposed to hold no defense mechanisms or barriers. it is a true reflection of one's self. sophie, on her journey to this place, sees herself in the center of fitz's mind. but unlike the drawing keefe created, this sophie is polished. she's posing, flashing a smile, looking undefeated... and perfect, as she mentions. but while fitz means well with the image, this pedestal and the woman on top of it is not her. it's not accurate to who she is in real life.

so, for sophie to witness the difference between how the two boys view her is huge. they both do have deep affection for her, but the lens they view her from is different. keefe has a camera; fitz has a microscope.

b) most people would cringe to be drawn in such an accurate, "flawed" light. sophie isn't gazing into the sunset looking blissfully aloof. she's not posing for the camera. she's caught in what most would considering an unflattering position. she's hunched, she looks 'awkward' and 'nervous'. her hair is messy, her clothes are crooked...

i can tell you little to no one who would want to be caught like that by their crush. but sophie doesn't shy from having keefe not only seen her that way, but record it - no, she enjoys it. she feels happy to share that side of herself with him. she's glad he gets to see the imperfect person she is. 

that right there just proves multiple things to me: how long this love has run without her really knowing it, how ready she is to be open in a relationship, and how real this connection is to her.

sophie doesn't desire something movie-worthy with him. she wants something real.

bored? send me an ask!