A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be - Erwin Smith X Fem!Reader Soulmate!AU

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be - Erwin Smith x fem!Reader Soulmate!AU

A/N ; Straight up this was the second thing I've ever written in the realm of fanfiction so it sucks and I mean that. But I was urged to post it. So. Here it is~! *jazz hands*. I still really like the concept, maybe I'll rewrite it in the future?

Warnings ; angst, fem!reader, soulmate!au, POV switching

Summary ; Soulmate AU - the name of your soulmate appears as a tattoo on your wrist. Everything else is the same. In which you're a pianist, and Erwin is married to his job and you find each other anyway.

Words ; 3.5k

You idly trace the words written on your wrist. You’d committed them to memory long ago, but still found yourself captivated by them. Erwin Smith. The name of your soul mate.

How cruel.

Like all children and teenagers, you were so excited about finding your soul mate, mind swimming with possibilities. I hope he’s tall, I hope he’s handsome, I hope he adores me.

But you never met him. Not after blossoming into a beautiful young woman. Not after taking up interest in learning piano and singing. Not after your friend noticed your playing and offered you a permanent job performing at her bar. You never even heard his name in passing, and gradually you started to give up hope.

Some things just weren’t meant to be.

So, you played your heart out, singing songs for the love you’d never have. Unable to look into the crowd, so you’d turned your back to them. The thought of seeing his face in the crowd, so close but so far out of your reach, was too much to bear. So, you kept your focus on the piano, the singing, the playing. Every night.

Your heart fluttered when you first read his name. Finally, after all this time. It was the headline in this week’s paper: Erwin Smith promoted to 13th Survey Corps Commander. You read that article every day for the first few weeks. It was finally something, some shred of hope that it wasn’t a fluke and the man whose name darkened your wrist was out there, somewhere. Tangible. Alive.

You were there for his first expedition beyond the walls, just like many other citizens. Truthfully, you’d never had much interest in watching the scouts, until now, but you found yourself in the sea of people. Eagerly scanning the rows of horses and green cloaks.

Your heart nearly stopped when you saw him for the first time. Gods, he was gorgeous. Even from your vantage you could tell how tall he was. Blond hair neatly party and combed, strong features, and the most stunning blue eyes you had ever seen. He was everything. He shone brightly like the sun. And you might lose him before you even get to meet him, you realized. The mortality rate of expeditions was…bad.

This point was driven home by the whispers all around you. Talk of how this new commander wouldn’t change anything. How they should just shut the scouts down. How someone’s son had been unfortunate enough to die beyond the walls… Your heart squeezed, and you said a silent prayer that he would return safely.

You were there when they returned, too. Beaten, bruised, morose, but alive. Whole…mostly. And you thanked the gods as you ignored the whispers. His features looked more ragged, the lines under his eyes deeper, exhausted. You wanted so badly to rush to him, to tell him…what exactly? Reassuring him? Anything to ease the hurt that was plastered across his face.

In fact, you started to before someone’s musings found you. “I sure am glad that Erwin Smith is the new commander, I heard the death toll went down significantly for this excursion. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have any distractions and can stay so focused. You know I heard he hasn’t found his soul mate yet, is it wrong for me to hope that never happens? That way he can devote all of himself to saving humanity. Maybe he could be our savior, maybe people will see the benefit of the Scouts with him at the helm.”

Your heart sank. Oh.

They had a point, and you froze. You would just be a distraction. You would get in the way. If he had his mind split between you and humanity…well. Humanity was more important, wasn’t it? Their goal of learning the truth and trying to save everyone from those damned Titans. That was more important. The needs of the many over the needs of the few, right? Humanity was more important than the night’s you’d soon spend crying yourself to sleep, or anxiously waiting for his return. It was more important than the heartache that would never go away, knowing you could never be together.

You steadied your resolve. Humanity was more important than just one person, you could do this. You could take this heartbreak for the greater good. You silently absolved him of any duty to find you, in your way this would be your first and only gift to him: freedom from you. Freedom from the shackles of your love for him, so that he could fight for humanity’s sake.

How cruel.

The years that followed went by rather uneventfully. You’d been there for every excursion, and every return, always sending silent prayers for his safe return. You scanned the newspapers, clipping every article that so much as said his name, keeping them taped around your vanity in the powder room behind the bar. A solemn reminder. You watched as he addressed the gathered crowds, booming voice echoing in your chest and reverberating around your mind long after he’d stopped speaking. You loved him from afar, and that had to be good enough.

In all the world you only ever had eyes for him, and he was so far out of your reach.

This evening was the same as so many others. You sat at your vanity, putting your face on for tonight’s performance, trying not to reread those clipped articles for the thousandth time, when your friend approached you. She was tall and beautiful and quick of wit. You’d confessed to her your feelings for Erwin, and she’d supported your decision to stay away from him. She was the one who suggested pushing your piano against the far end of the stage, keeping your back to the crowd. You were so grateful to her.

“How was their return today ___?” she asked, placing her hands on your shoulders and looking at you in the reflection of the mirror. “Good. He looked good, whole. That’s as much as I could hope for.” You smiled weakly, remembering the somber and stoic look on his face. “And you’ve still not tried to even talk to him, huh?”

“No, you know I won’t-I can’t.”

“But you could. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to him, even barring the soul mate thing. I know your heart bleeds for him. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of this stupid idea you got in your head that you’d just be a burden or a distraction or whatever. You’re just as important as his job, ____. You deserve to be happy…” You ignored the tightness in your chest. “Humanity is more important. His job is more important. It’s better this way.”

“Then why don’t you try to face the crowd tonight? If you’re so resolved to suffer alone then seeing his face could bring closure to you.”

Maybe, you mused. But as you imagined seeing him watching you play the songs that were for him-always for him-you felt tears stinging the back of your eyes. Not tonight. Seeing him in person left you feeling too raw, the temptation to reach out to him and confess everything was too great. You couldn’t maintain your distance if you saw him tonight. So, you kept your back to the crowd, just like every other night. And sang all the songs you’d written for him, about him, just like every other night.

How cruel.

Erwin

He hadn’t intended on entering the crowded bar, even if it was a classier joint. Especially not since they’d just returned today, and he longed to rest his aching muscles and sore injuries. However, the divine sound that permeated the cool evening air drew him in. It was beautiful and sad, and he felt in his bones the melancholy of the words she sang.

Standing far back, just inside the door, he scanned the room. People crowded around everywhere, drinking and talking, roars of laughter and amiable chatter filled the room. The lighting was dim, a single spotlight trained on the humble stage where sat a lone pianist with her back to the crowd. She played beautifully, singing words of love and loss and longing that flitted through the crowd. Some were captivated, others uninterested. But he…he was enamored.

Without realizing it he’d pushed his way to the stages, eyes fixated on her. She wore a sequined red dress that scooped low down her back, revealing just enough of her feminine curves to keep him trained on her. On the subtle motions and breaths as she played. She never once turned to greet him, but he watched her all the same; entranced.

How long did he stay like this? Long after the crowd had dispersed, and the bar was quiet. Only him, the barkeeper, a few meandering souls, and her. He stayed until she finished her set and exited the stage. He had to meet her. This alluring woman that had so captivated him, made all the worry and stress and pain melt away as he watched her and listened to her songs. He had to know her name.

The barkeep stopped him as he wandered towards the powder room.

“Sorry, sir. Employees only.”

“Ah, apologies. Can I ask? Who is that woman?”

She gave him a pained smile and led him to the now empty bar. “What are you drinking, Commander?”

“So, you know me?” he questioned, quirking an eyebrow.

“Sir, everyone in this bar knows you.” He scoffed, brushing it off as because of his status as Commander.

“Whisky. Neat. Thanks.” She deftly poured him two fingers of the top shelf and slid it across the bar. Erwin downed the drink gratefully, letting the familiar burn take the edge off.

“She is our little songbird. Lovely, isn’t she?”

He nodded, “Yes but she…. she seems so melancholic.”

“She is. All her life she’d dreamt of her soul mate, as most girls do, but over the last few years she’s given up hope, resolving herself to a life of solitude. My heart aches for her.”

“I take it she’s shared the name with you?” He asked, idly thumbing the name on his own wrist.

“Oh, yes sir. Even despite herself she still looks out for him. Talks about his work and accomplishments, prays for his safety…”

“So, she does know him?”

“Yes. He is in the public eye, but he does not know her,” she said, trying not to give away too much, “How could he? What are the odds that someone of his rank would find themselves in this place, anyway?”

“If that’s true…why hasn’t she tried reaching out to him?”

She sighed heavily, “Commander,” she started, leaning in, “would you like to meet her? She plays here every evening. I could introduce you.” Erwin pondered this, tracing the rim of his glass with his thumb. It couldn’t hurt right? Maybe they’d find some common ground, there. After all he’d never met his soul mate either. Maybe they could come to keep each other company on lonely nights….he was getting ahead of himself.

“I have to return to work early. I’ve stayed way passed the time for me to retire. My next day off is Saturday, though. Could I arrange a meeting with her, then?” “Of course, sir. I’ll tell her you were interested in her playing and wanted to speak about the songs she’s written. She doesn’t often take visitors, but I’m sure she’ll warm up at that.”

Erwin thanked her and left. He should have asked for her name, but it didn’t matter. Not really. He’d long since given up on finding the one, his job took priority over everything else, and it was better that way. It had to be. For Humanity's’ sake.

But he did feel a twinge of regret for never having looked for her. Surely, she was lonely and didn’t deserve this. But he didn’t have a choice, he’d convinced himself he could suffer no distractions.

You

Despite telling yourself you’d given up hope on him, you asked your friend every night if he was in the crowd. IF she’d seen a glimpse of him or heard his name on hushed whispers. Tonight was no different, though the tone in her voice when she denied you made you suspicious.

You brushed it off, though. It was surely nothing.

You would think you’d get tired of playing, since you do it every night, but when you returned home to your modest rental, you set about finishing up the song you were writing. A song for him, always for him. You planned on debuting it this Saturday, the busiest night of the week, so it had to be finished and refined by then.

You played long into the night, only making it to bed once the sun tipped over the horizon. Late nights were no stranger to you, especially since you kept bar hours. That night you dreamt of ocean-blue eyes.

The next few days passed uneventfully, just as they always did. You skimmed the newspaper for news on the most recent excursion, finding nothing. You finished your song in time for Saturday’s performance, and even picked out a special gown for the evening.

Come Saturday you felt the familiar nerves of performing a new song for the first time. The gown you’d picked was a beautiful blue, it hugged your curves perfectly, making you look like divinity on earth. You’d chosen this specific dress because it reminded you so much of the color of his eyes. Erwin’s eyes. The eyes of the soulmate who wasn’t meant to be.

You stared at your reflection where you sat at your vanity. Stupidly you hoped he’d be there tonight, like you did every night. And just like every night you told yourself he wouldn’t be, that to continue hoping against all odds was childish. That this was the way it should be: him protecting and serving humanity, and you keeping your distance and loving him from afar.

How cruel, this fate of yours. You eyed the name written across your wrist fought back the tears. After all these years he still made your heart bleed. He still made you crave him, long for him. You just couldn’t help yourself. You supposed that was what soul mates were supposed to do, anyway.

Like every night, you strode briskly on stage, making a point not to turn to the crowd. You made a show of elegantly sitting at your piano, just as always.

Erwin

Tonight was the night. The night he’d learn her name, talk to her, get to know the woman behind the piano. So alluring, so tragic. He wondered if he dressed up too much and removed the tie from his neck only to then retie it just to remove it again. He opted for a white button down, black trousers, dress shoes, and his bolo tie. Surely this would be enough, right? But he wanted their first moments together to be memorable.

As he took in his reflection, he wondered why it mattered so much to him. It wasn’t like she was his soul mate. Right? It couldn’t be. Not here. Not now. Not after everything.

The bar was even more crowded than last time, and he was grateful when the bar keep waved him over. She didn’t ask about his drink preferences, having remembered from before. He downed the whisky in a single drink, hoping that it would take the edge off the nerves he was feeling.

Let him fight a Titan or run a coup any day. But talking to a beautiful woman? That he had no experience with. That isn’t to say he wasn’t popular with women, he was. But he’d never given them more than a passing thought, always married to his work. Until now.

He’d never even seen her face, but her music-her songs- touched him deeply. He didn’t have to see her face or know her name to know that he would burn down the world for her. Soulmates be damned.

He watched her play, and as his eyes were trained on her, the sights, smells, sounds of the bar faded away. It was as if she were the only other person in the world, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was nice to lose himself in something that wasn’t work, for once.

The music stopped, luring him out of his trance. He’d made his way to the stage again, leaning against his elbow.

“This last song,” she spoke. This was the first time he’d heard her speak, and it was just as stunning as her singing, “is dedicated to the man whose name marks my wrist. To the man who I know I can never have, who I have made peace with loving from afar. This song I wrote for him, about him, and I hope that some day my words will reach him. Thank you for listening to me play, tonight.”

Her song started, dreamy and emotional. Her vocals were soft and powerful. She sang about watching him for such a long time, and how enraptured she’d been with the blue of his eyes. How his passion and drive not only made her fall more and more in love with him, but also how it broke her heart, knowing they could never be together. She sang about being afraid to feel this way, but that she wouldn’t have it any other way because despite it, she still loved him.

As he watched her, he ignored the single tear that streaked down his cheek. He could feel the pain in her words. Feel the sorrow in her voice. He wanted to leap onto the stage and crush her against himself and kiss away all that melancholy. It was not lost on him that the man in the song had the same color eyes as him, though he didn’t have the mind to process that in the moment.

He snapped back to reality when he saw her shudder.

You

You couldn’t help it. This song you’d written for him, the words you’d sang, they still tugged at your heartstrings. The emotions behind it were still too raw, and as the song ended and the lights faded, you succumbed to the sobs that wracked your body. You prayed that nobody would see.

You steadied yourself, you didn’t want to show this kind of weakness to this size of crowd, and stood to leave.

“Wait!” A voice called to you from the opposite side of the stage, stopping you in your tracks. It sounded so familiar…too familiar. Your heart leapt into your throat as you slowly turned around.

You audibly gasped when you saw his face. Erwin. The same Erwin you had been watching and loving and longing for. Your soulmate, Erwin. He’d called out to you, climbing on stage to jog over to you. Your mouth gaped as you tried to find words. Any words. What was he doing here? Why was he here, now? Did he listen to your song? Did he know you were his soul mate? So many questions flitted through your mind that you didn’t even notice the hush fall over the bar.

All eyes were trained on you two.

“I-“he started, looking down at you. He was so tall, gods so much taller than you could have imagined. He cleared his throat. “Why are you crying?” he said finally, reaching up to gently wipe away the tears that streamed down your face. You blinked, searching his eyes. The eyes you’d just sang about.

“B-Because…” you drew in a shaky breath. How could you explain it all? Was now even the time for that? Why had he reached out to you so suddenly, anyway? You didn’t even really know what was going on. One thing could make him understand, you realized. One thing could say more than your words could.

You stretched your arm out to him, watching his expression change as he read his name on your wrist. His eyes widened in realization, his expression softening. The crowd was completely silent now, watching the scene unfold.

“You’ve been waiting for me,” he said softly, cupping your cheek and holding your hand, “All this time, you were here. And you’ve been waiting for me.” “Erwin,” you breathed, and your heart soared with the way he smiled at hearing his name on your voice.

Softly, gently, as if you were made of glass, he leaned into you, planting a ginger kiss on your soft lips. You melted into him, and you wanted nothing more than to get lost in him. The applause that ringed out through the bar startled you both out of your moment. They’d been waiting for this. There wasn’t a regular in this bar that didn’t know the name on your wrist, and your sense of duty to remain in the shadows. And there wasn’t a soul in this bar that wasn’t glad and relieved that you’d finally found each other.

Blushing, embarrassed, and giggling like schoolchildren, you and Erwin made your way off stage and into the powder room.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he beamed at you, making your heart flutter. “Yes, we do.”

He didn’t tell you that the smile you gave him that night nearly brought him to tears.

More Posts from Xiaotopia and Others

xiaotopia

2 years ago

Broken Promises

Scaramouche x F Reader (Angst)

Hello my dear readers! I hope you all enjoy this story. I don’t know what it is but I LOVE writing angst. It is my favorite and I love feeling pain…okay I'll stop now. Anyways, I’m going to shut up and let you read, so please, grab some popcorn and have fun reading this angsty story. :) <33333

You and Scara have been longtime friends. You work well together and have just been sent on a mission to collect a rare and precious pearl from a monstrous unknown creature. You two and a group of people went into a deep and hollow cave. However, once you find the pearl, the creature unleashes itself and tries to attack you all. And that is where this story begins~

I flew back into a stone wall, groaning as the painful impact surged across my body. I looked over to see Scara on the ground. The creature in front of us screeched loudly, emitting powerful and ear bursting vibrations. I quickly placed my hands on my ears, trying to block out the painful noise. A warm and liquidy substance trickled down my hands to my arms. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw that it was blood. However, my attention was quickly turned away from the blood when I saw a sword head towards Scara. My eyes widened, my instincts quickly kicking in. I sprinted towards him and wrapped my arms around his body. We both fell over, but the sword cut deep into my upper arm, making me yell.

Scara’s eyes widened when he heard your pained voice. He looked up at you and saw that you had a huge gash in your arm. He grabbed you and brought you to a safe area.

He then tore some of the fabric off of his shirt, tightly wrapping around your wound.

“Stay here.”

You placed a hand on his and shook your head.

“No. It’s nothing I can’t handle. You can’t fight him alone.” You spoke back.

“I’m not asking, I’m demanding. You are not able to fight.” he said, but you ignored him and tried to get up, but he grabbed your waist and pulled you back down.

“Listen to me. If you get hurt anymore, I don’t–they don’t know what they could do without you.” He said, talking about the small group of people helping us.

“He’s right, Y/n. Besides, Scara and I will work together and finish him off. You stay here and rest.” Lumine said, popping up out of nowhere. She placed her arm around his body, causing both of us to tense up a bit. It’s needless to say that he and I haven’t had the greatest encounters with Lumine. She always tries to get in the way of us when we are training or just hanging out. It’s like she doesn't want Scara and I to be around each other so she can have him all to herself. It’s like she has a weird fixation on him, but maybe it’s just her not understanding that he and I would like to be alone at times.

But just as Lumine finished her statement, another sword came flying at Scara.

“Watch out!” You yelled, pushing him to the ground once more, the weapon just barely missing your head.

Lumine turned and quickly grabbed her sword and the one right next to my head. She ran towards the creature and swiftly drove her sword across two of its legs. The creature cried out in pain as a purplish liquid spewed out.

My eyes widened as she did that.

“No! Don’t!” You yelled, but she just ignored you.

“Scara, get his other two legs!” Lumine yelled.

“Stop! We can’t hurt it!” You tried to say, slowly getting up.

Scara looked up at me and glared, pushing me to the wall.

“I told you to stay put. Listen to me!” He yelled.

“But this is wrong. We only came here to get a pearl from the creature, not kill it!”

“Sometimes, you have no other choice Y/n.”

He then turned around and went to help Lumine, slicing the creature's other legs.

I watched them stab and wound the animal as it tried to fight back. While Scara was distracting it, Lumine tried to grab one of the pearls that were piled up behind it. However, the animal sensed Lumine's presence and attacked her.

“Lumine!” Scara yelled out. I looked up at the animal and tried to figure out what was so important about these pearls. Why is the creature so protective of them?

And that's when I felt a small lick on my hand, causing my head to turn. I gasped a little as I saw the same creature, only a much smaller and younger version of it. I saw that he had what looked to be an iridescent, white shell around him. I stared at it for a bit, picking it off of the animal. I looked behind it and saw more of the same shells leading to a large and rounded piece.

I put two and two together, making my heart sink. I looked at the pearls that the creature was defending and realized that they were not pearls…but they were in fact her eggs.

No wonder why she is trying to harm us. We were trying to take one of her own!

“Scara stop!” I yelled, but he ignored me.

“Please! These aren’t pearls! They are her-”

“Y/n! Shut up!” Lumine interrupted, helping Scara.

She managed to run up to the animal and pierce her leg once more, making the mother fall.

“You’re up Scara!” Lumine said with a smirk.

I turned to see Scara grabbing his sword and running towards the mothers head, about to stab her right through.

I couldn’t let this happen! It was just out right inhumane, so I did what I had to.

The mother shut her eyes, whimpering for what was about to happen. But nothing came.

Confused, the creature opened her eyes to see you standing in front of Scara.

His sword centimeters away from stabbing your chest. His eyes widened with shock as he couldn’t believe what you just did.

The creature took the chance to grab her eggs and disappear without a trace. Lumine and Scara stared at you with anger as you let the animal get away.

Scara slammed his sword down and grabbed you by the collar, getting close to you.

“What the hell did you do that for?!”

“Scara, I couldn’t let you kill her. Those pearls…those were her eggs! Her offspring! I couldn’t let you take her away from them.”

“You have no right in telling me and Lumine what we can and can’t do!”

“You and Lumine?” You said in disbelief.

“That’s right. She was the only one who was able to actually try and get the job done. Meanwhile you let your guard down and got soft…all because what? A mother and her eggs?”

“Yes! Because those eggs need their mother to protect and nurture them.”

“No they don’t! Look at me! I never had a mother and I turned out just fine. You are too soft…which is what makes you weak! Not to mention you almost got killed! Do you know how hurt I would’ve–your family would’ve been? You can’t just do something so idiotic! Use your brain, Y/n!” He yelled at you.

“Maybe you should start using yours! Do you hear how horrible you sound right now? You were willing to kill an innocent creature for your own good!”

“That monster was not innocent! It tried to kill us!”

“Yes, because it saw us as a danger to her and her babies! She was just trying to protect them!”

“Enough! You obviously are not in the right headspace. I think you should go back home. Lumine and I will continue our mission that you made us fail!” He said, turning away from you.

You stared at him in disbelief and heartbreak.

“You’re leaving me?” You said in a quieter tone, making him stop.

“Yes, because you will be nothing but a burden to my mission. At least Lumine will be able to help me out. I’m done with you, Y/n. Maybe next time.” He said, leaving you.

That’s when you broke down.

Tears fell down your eyes. From the terrifying experience, from the guilt of terrorizing a poor creature and her eggs, from the harsh words Scara spoke to you, but most of all, him leaving you behind is what broke your heart the most.

You two even made a promise to never leave each other, especially after you found out what happened to him. You still remember it like it was yesterday. You had invited him over to your family’s place to eat, which he tried to decline…but with you being you, you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

–flashback–

“Scara? Are you still here?” Your voice was heard. Scara quickly wiped his tears away, but you walked in on him just in time. You pushed past the vines that were blocking the entrance to your house from the back yard.

“Go away.” he spoke

But with you being stubborn, you stayed and instead walked closer to him.

“What’s wrong? I thought you were having a great time.”

“I am…well, I was–”

“Is it my brother? He can be a handful sometimes, but he means well.”

“No, it’s–”

“Is it the food? Was it too spicy? Too sweet? Not enough seasoning?”

“No, it was good…I-

“Is it me? Are you annoyed by my presence–”

“Y/n!” He slightly raised his voice at you, causing you to back down.

He stared at you apologetically and sighed.

“You have all been great…it’s something I’m not used to, especially your parents.” He spoke. Making you perk up at his statement.

“What do you mean? Were your parents…not that great?”

He chuckled.

“Just having a mother and a father would have been great…” He said, tears welling up in his eyes again.

“You mean…you don’t have any?” You asked, making him frown once more

“I had one…Raiden Shogun. She was the one who created me. I looked up to her. I loved her. I viewed her as my own mother. However, she wanted nothing to do with me. She abandoned me, and left me in the dust to rot away.”

You stared at him with sorrow, feeling anger towards the purple haired woman. How could someone be so cruel?

“But, that’s not all. I found a friend, who helped me and sheltered me. He was very kind…until he, too, left me. And then, I found one more friend who I thought would be by my side forever…until he passed away and left me.”

“Scara…I’m so sorry.”

“That’s why you see me like this. Over the years, I have relied on others, only to be left behind. I had to learn how to fend for myself. I can’t trust anyone but myself anymore. I can’t stand the sight of some people either. And…when I see you and your family together, laughing and cherishing each other's time, I can’t help but feel anger and envy.”

You stared at him in silence, your heart bleeding out for him.

“It is selfish, I know–”

“No.” You interrupted him, taking his hand in yours. He looked at you with teary eyes, seeing your teary eyes as well.

“You have every right to feel those emotions and more. You have lived through a life that most have not lived through. You have been hurt and betrayed over and over again…and I am, from the bottom of my heart, so sorry that all those things happened to you.” You said with a broken voice.

“You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I’m used to getting left behind. Honestly, I am ready for when you leave me as well.” He said, making you shake your head.

“I will not leave you.”

“You will.”

“No!” You yelled at him, making him flinch a bit out of shock from the sudden outburst.

You quickly wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. He tried to pull away, not used to the feeling, but you wouldn’t let him go.

“Let. Me. Go.” He said, but you shook your head.

“No. You need this.” You said softly.

Slowly, but surely, he started to give in, enjoying the warm and cozy sensation.

You pulled away to look at him, your arms still wrapped around him.

“Let’s make a promise.”

‘A promise? For what?” He asked you.

“A promise that we will never leave each other behind, no matter what.”

Scara couldn’t help but chuckle.

“There is no way you could-”

“Scaramouche. When I make promises, I never break them. And I’m not going to start anytime soon.” You interrupted him

He looked at you with hesitance, seeing your pleading eyes.He sighed as he finally broke down.

“Fine, if you promise to never leave me behind, I promise to never leave you behind as well.” he said, making you smile and hug him tightly.

“Deal.” You said, making him genuinely smile for the first time in forever.

Not only that, but you also made his heart beat for the first time in forever as well.

–end of flashback–

You watched as he left you behind, breaking the promise like it was nothing. You never knew you could feel this awful. You loved Scara, and not just in a friendly way…you loved him romantically. You knew it was stupid to fall in love with him when he can’t even feel it…it would just end up breaking you…and it did. It truly did.

Now, you were all alone. Sure you had other friends, but no one understood you like Scara did. You two were inseparable…until now.

Your heart felt like it tore apart as you fell to the ground, curling up against a wall. Quiet sobs escaped your mouth. Suddenly, you felt a familiar lick on your hand, causing you to look up. You saw the same little creature as before, staring at you with saddened eyes.

It knew you were in pain, and so it cuddled right up to you, trying to decrease your pain.

You couldn’t help but smile sadly as you saw the little bugger trying to cheer you up. You wrapped your arms around it and held it close.

The creature licked your wounded arm, making you gasp.

“Don’t lick that little guy. You could get sick- huh?” You interrupted yourself. You looked down at the gash and saw that it was slowly healing from the saliva of the creature. You looked at it with awe.

“No wonder why they wanted you.”

The creature licked your face like a puppy would, making you chuckle quietly.

“Don’t worry little guy. I will make sure no one hurts you or your family. You all are under my protection now.”

Suddenly, the mother appeared out of thin air, startling you. She looked down at you and snarled, but when she saw her little one playing with you, she stopped.

“I am sorry for what we did. We didn’t know….but I understand everything now. Please forgive me.” You said, bowing to the gigantic creature. She looked down at you with concern, but that look of concern quickly turned into one of care and appreciation.

She laid down next to you, letting her other littles that had already hatched, run around.

You watched them as they ran to you to cuddle you.

You were extremely hurt by Scara…but what these cute creatures were trying to do really helped distract you from it.

–Weeks later with Scaramouche–

I plunged my sword into the ground as I still couldn’t find Y/n. Frustration and anger were emitting off of my body. Those feelings weren’t towards her…they were towards myself.

“How could I have been so cruel to her. I hurt her…I ruined everything between us…all because I couldn’t fucking control myself!

He hit a tree with his fists, leaving nothing but blood on them. His hands were raw by this point and he fell to the ground.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at the ring you got him. It was a friendship ring that signified your promise between each other. He didn’t deserve it…he didn’t deserve you and yet he tossed you away like you were nothing but paper. He couldn’t believe what he had done, especially with his feelings towards you. Yes, the one and only balladeer had in fact fallen in love with you. He didn’t want to at all. In fact, he was afraid to.

But whenever he saw you, ready for a next adventure with him, he couldn’t help but give in to that emotion. You always did sweet little things for him that you might not have noticed, but he did. You would always allow him to rest on your legs, softly petting his hair that made him go crazy. You always got protective of him if someone insulted him. You always made sure he was okay and allowed him to speak his mind. Everything you did with him just made him fall head over heels for you. And no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get rid of those feelings.

And now…because of him, he lost it all in one day.

After your argument that day, he realized what he had done and instantly went back to apologize to you. But you weren’t there. So, he tried your house, but nothing. He tried to ask your other friends and even your family, but they had no idea. He kept asking around but got nowhere. It has been several weeks now and still no trace of you whatsoever. He was terrified that something horrible happened to you. And it would’ve been all his fault.

What if someone kidnapped you and was torturing you? What if you were locked away forever? What if you…what if you had been dead?

All of these thoughts continuously ran through Scara’s mind and he couldn’t get rid of them.

Every night he hoped that you would just randomly pop up, greeting him happily so that he could grab you and hold you close to him, never letting you go. He wants to feel you again, he wants to hear your sweet and melodic voice again, he wants to just straight up kiss you and confess all of his feelings to you in hopes that you return those feelings.

But who was he kidding, after what he did, you would never feel the same. And that’s something he would have to live with.

But no matter what, he will continue to search for you until the day he’s gone. He will stop at nothing to get you back. Absolutely nothing

–

Suddenly, he heard a large commotion coming from a city nearby.

Curious, he quickly ran towards that city, seeing what the noise was all about.

He saw a huge crowd gathered together and what seemed to be a medium sized creature strapped down to a board. It was whimpering at the sight of everyone as it tried to escape.

As Scara got a closer look, he realized it was the same creature he fought the day you and him got into an argument. Except this time, the animal was much smaller than the one he fought. His eyes widened as he saw what the people around it were doing. The people were tormenting, throwing rocks at it while poking it with pitchforks. Scara instantly felt regret when he harmed one of that creature's kind.

What was wrong with him? How could he have let himself try to harm such an innocent creature, especially the mother? Now, here he was, watching people torture what is probably the mothers child.

He needed to stop this and quick!

However, his thoughts were quickly interrupted when he heard a loud and ear piercing sound. Everyone screamed from the impact, as did Scara. They all fell to the ground, their eyes shut close, and their hands on their ears.

“Leave the creature alone and let him go. Or else there will be dire consequences.” A familiar voice said. Scara opened his eyes only to feel his heartbeat out of his chest. He saw the same creature he fought weeks back…but that wasn’t what made his heart pound. What made his heart pound was that finally, after so long, he saw you riding on the back of the mother. Standing proud and strong. Now was his chance to get you and fix his mess.

_______________________________

Part II coming soon! I hope you enjoyed, my dearest

350 notes View Post

xiaotopia

4 years ago

owo

Erie's Maker | Picrew

Picrew

エリーのメーカー｜Picrew

[日本語が以下] hey!! this took a long time to make but it was really fun! you can use these ic...

Chain Time?

It's-a me, Mod... Trash??? I still don't have a nAME-

@mod-sei @dont-mind-me-i-just-exist @official-ellie-rose @crystu-cii @creator-r @ask-henry-sickmin-revenged

And anyone else who wants to use this Picrew!

735 notes View Post

xiaotopia

1 year ago

— strangers (soulmates) part 1

pairing: erwin smith x f!reader

summary: erwin smith was the embodiment of intimation, money, and power. and you were his personal assistant.

genre: office au; smut, angst

word count: 2.1k

warnings/notes: swearing, no real warnings for this part; purely self-indulgent bc i just watched aot for the first time and i love him so bad

masterlist | next

Keep reading

91 notes View Post

xiaotopia

3 years ago

It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

633K notes View Post

xiaotopia

4 years ago

𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 ━ Xiao

‣ genre: angst, fluff

‣ pairing: xiao x female! reader

‣ word count: 4k

‣ summary: Using this chance when Xiao had accepted to go out with you in the afternoon, you decided to make some flower crowns for him but you didn’t think he’d react this way.

Keep reading

105 notes View Post

xiaotopia

2 years ago

#BFE2FD ┈ Scaramouche (wanderer) X Gn!reader ; Genre/trope: An Angsty Christmas Special! ; Wc 3000+

#BFE2FD ┈ scaramouche (wanderer) x gn!reader ; genre/trope: an angsty christmas special! ; wc 3000+ ; warnings: just an unrequited love fic... mentions of happy people idk

[6:44pm] gingerbread lingers in the air, despite the fact that you had shoved your pathetic attempt of a house in the bin a while ago.

still, the scent remains amidst the twinkle of christmas ornaments and the rustle of golden tinsel. like a mockery of fate, it hangs around from early night when you had given up waiting, to the current midnight when the flicker of christmas lights along the neighbourhood was beginning to fade.

it seemed that this christmas, you would have to spend it alone.

of course, it hadn't always been like that. your friends from distant regions had all tried their hand to invite you to various parties. most offers had been simple pleasantries since there was only a handful of those who didn’t know you reserved this special night for an equally special someone, and the others you had to let down gently.

"i'm so sorry!" you had replied. "i already have plans for the night."

some of your friends, like zhongli, had hummed thoughtfully. "i see. it is always nice to spend this festive season with your loved ones. it is a shame i couldn't spend it with you, however."

"there's always next year." you found yourself apologising again, though in your heart you knew the situation would only repeat. "and i'll see you at the new years party."

“new years, hm? then i suppose i will have to settle for seeing you then. have a wonderful christmas, name.”

hu tao beams from his right. "we'll be seeing you there! have fun with your special someone!"

others, had been a little less understanding, their whines and protests dragging on into the day.

"can't we see each other even for a second? please, please?"

"klee, name has already told you they'll be busy." albedo had interjected, appearing at her side, attention only partially directed at the conversation.

the child pouts, fists balled at her side. "that isn't fair! i wanted us to sing jingle bells, all three of us! and to decorate the christmas tree, and to see all the christmas lights! then, we were meant to stay up to meet santa and leave gifts for him!"

"i'll still be there." albedo points out.

"it's not the same."

you laugh. "i'm sorry klee, i'll make it up to you next time."

"you said that last time. you were meant to make it up to me today." klee sniffles. "are you a liar, name?"

"alright, klee, that's too far." albedo frowns. "you have to say sorry."

"it's okay! besides, i'm the one in the wrong." you crouch down to talk face-to-face, gently wiping away the stray tears fallen on her cheek. "how about we go fish blasting on new years, hm? we can go to every pond and lake in teyvat, we'll do it for however long you like."

"really? what about santa?"

“your big brother albedo will invite him!” pointedly ignoring albedo’s gaze, you keep selling your point. “we’ll have so much fun, you’ll see.”

albeit still a little upset, klee snorts up the last of her outburst and nods.

“i pinky promise this time." you wrap your pinky around hers and gave it a tight squeeze.

"you pinky promised this time. don't break it okay?" she repeats in a small voice.

you nod, standing back up. turning to albedo, you also give him a soft smile. "sorry i can't make it either, to your christmas party."

"it was sucrose's idea, i think that apology should be for her."

"still, i would have wanted to spend christmas with you."

"why can't you?" his eyes startle you in all its clarity as he turns, question capturing you on the spot. his clipboard seems almost disregarded in his arms.

"i have plans!" you blurt out. “i’m… busy.”

albedo looks at you and for a second, you’re sure he can see right through you. "a significant other?"

the chill from dragonspine is chased from your body, a prickling red flush hot in its pursuit. "no, no way, nothing like that!" after a pause, you awkwardly rush to finish the sentence. "not yet, anyway."

he smiles in return at your confession before leaning down to face klee. "come on, we shouldn't bother name anymore. they have things to do." and then to you, as klee scurries away excited at the prospect of another adventure, he wishes you luck.

“i’ll deal with the santa.” he turns, waving back slightly before ushering klee inside.

some friends already knew the man in your heart, and their invitations are gateways for jokes.

"coming to my christmas party, name?" yaemiko had suggested, before her hand flies up to her mouth. "oh wait! i forgot you have better things to do, and better people to see."

"what's this? you won't be coming?" ei perks up, eyes flickering above the book at her lap. "after all our preparations?"

yaemiko interrupts you before you can even defend yourself. "name here already has plans."

"with who?"

your face warms rapidly. "it's nothing."

"nothing? you're not coming to our party, for nothing?"

"stop it." you whine, burying your burning face in your hands. "you already know why i can't come, yaemiko."

"all the more reason why it's so very fun to poke at it."

"what? what is it? stop leaving me in the dark, you two."

"shall i do the honours?" yaemiko asks.

"ei, i made dinner plans with someone tonight. so, i can’t make it."

"oh?" the god replies. "and who is this person?"

you ignore the sly fox's chuckle, and press onwards to answer. "someone... special. someone i, someone i like."

yaemiko gasps dramatically before snickering. "blush any harder and you might come down with a fever, dearest name."

you cup your cheeks and scowl at her. "you're awful."

"and so is your love life. really, name, how long have you been pining for this man? and for this to be the first move you make is really something else."

"what she's trying to say," ei interrupts, aware of the murderous expression on your face. "is that we hope you have a good time with your special someone. though we will miss you, we hope for the best, really."

and some friends had known since the very beginning.

"eager?" tighanri asks, the very first words to leave his mouth as you enter his abode. when you don't reply, he turns to you. "it is today, right?"

"right." you groan into your hands. "should i postpone it after all? leave it to another day? what if i'm not ready after all, what if he doesn't even feel the same way as me and i look like a complete fool after everything i've done to prepare?"

"name, he would be completely stupid if he doesn't appreciate you. and you know if it doesn't end well, collei, cyno and i are joining everyone else to watch nilou perform tonight. no one will say anything if you sneak in."

you look up at him and smile. "thanks, tighnari. i don't know how but you always say the right things at the right time."

'it's called impeccable timing, i just so happen to have it. speaking of, here's the icing you wanted, for the gingerbread houses."

you inhale in the scent of sugar. "that smells really good."

"i know." turning his back to you, he begins fussing around his area. "i've been told i could make a killer wife."

"yeah?" you poke a finger in the bowl. "who said that?"

"collei."

placing your finger on your tongue, you hum in appreciation. "she's not wrong this icing is delicious. you could sell this, honestly."

"are you offering?" he turns around with a smirk.

"i can pay with friendship?"

he laughs, shaking his head. "i don't need that."

you stick a different finger in the bowl and eat that too, closing your eyes at the taste.

"do that again and the bowl will be empty before it's night."

"i'm not eating that much."

"here."

your eyes widen, bowl completely forgotten as you look at the wrapped present in tighnari's hand, adorned with a bright red bow.

"this... this is..."

"my present to you." tighnari replies, a smile on his face. "merry christmas name, i hope tonight goes well."

all these holiday wishes, abundant in counting, yet there was still a hole in your heart from where a special someone had yet to say it. you find your mind blank aside from a single, daunting thought, the blanket you had hastily placed over your shoulders failing to keep the cold as the hours went on.

you replay the memory of your invitation to him over and over and over again, struggling to find any indication that he may just be late, may have just been caught in some last minute mission, that he would still be coming because he had said yes. you find that the invitation had been so causal, such a fly away suggestion, that he would have no choice but to assume it was an offering as friends, as comrades, rather than lovers. but that was alright, even if he came to your doorstep as a friend, because at least that meant he had come, because at least that meant you hadn't sat in your own home, more alone than any other day, for hours on end, waiting for the soft thud of his footsteps up to your door.

because at least that meant he hadn't stood you up.

you had definitely just been stood up.

the frosty breeze outside causes your nose and ears to tinge. you rub your arms as the cold settles in, but even the chill from the night wasn't enough to suffocate your thoughts. the crunch of snow, the whistle of the wind, the scuttering of cats as you near a little too close, all these things were not enough to erase the meaningless thoughts in your head.

it had all been so promising, the progression of your relationship, the final moment of courage that made you ask, the smile that he sent you, so full of adoration though now you can only wonder if it had all been your imagination. as the snow rains on, you wonder if you’ll forever associate the light sprinkling of white to this very moment, where the disappointment is enough to submerge you.

well, tighnari had said you could always join him, if all went wrong.

"a christmas night alone for you, name?"

you look up, squinting at the rush of snow. a single figure stands in the distance, something about his posture so familiar to you. at last, you place a name to the face and you huff a cloud of steam into the air.

"scaramouche, no, the wanderer." you reply, his name dry on your tongue. "i wouldn't be mocking me if you were doing the same."

he shrugs, closing the distance between the two of you. you find him wearing a red scarf, and the very sight of it reminds you of someone else. "i choose to spend my christmases alone, though i don't think that would be the case for you."

"how can you be so sure?"

he smirks, the gesture so natural to him. "you've been crying." when you rush to rub at your eyes, he chuckles, loud and unapologetic. "rubbing it will only make it worse, don't you think?"

"shut up, wanderer."

“not in the mood to talk? that hurts me, especially on a beautiful night like this.”

you huff, letting the cold from your fingers settle into your burning eyes. “whatever. just leave me alone.”

silence, though not the type you like. you wonder why you can’t here the sound of his footsteps leaving you like you were so sure he was going to do. after all, the relationship between the two of you had never been close, simply friends of friends, sparing one another a nod in acknowledgment and maybe a few snarky remarks.

when you look up, he’s still standing there, illuminated by streetlights.

“why aren’t you leaving?”

“what kind of person would i be to leave a crying woman alone out on the street?”

“the same type of person you’ve always been.” you sniffle, cold.

the gesture isn’t lost on the wanderer, and with a sigh, he begins to unravel his scarf. you frown, backing away slightly.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

without a word, the wanderer takes a step, and then another until he’s right in front of you. catching your eyes, he huffs, the steam blowing over your face, before slinging the scarf around your neck.

at his touch, you fall silent.

“so.” he begins. “who was the one that broke your heart?”

“it was no one.” you do a poor job at avoiding his eye.

“i’m not a patient person, name.”

again, you ignore him, shuffling into the scarf around your neck. though it hurt your ego to admit it, the world around you definitely felt warmer.

with a tsk, the wanderer jabs a finger at your forehead and pushes back, forcing you to look up with a yelp. your eyes meet, and an insult raises to your tongue. “what the fuck! let go of me.”

“answer the question. who stood you up?”

you shake yourself from his touch and wiggle backwards, placing distance. “it was childe, if you have to know. jesus, wanderer, your finger is cold as shit.”

“childe?” the wanderer repeats. “childe? you’re all sad and moopy because of childe?”

you glare at him. “shut it. i don’t need you to criticise my love life.”

finally, a loud laugh escapes his throat. he even throws his head back, though you were almost positive your confession wasn’t even the least bit funny. that doesn’t stop him though, a hand wrapping around to clutch at his stomach, his laughs quickly becoming gasps of air.

“yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. no really, thanks for that. it’s really helping.”

the wanderer peeks up at you through one eye, the most vibrant smile you’ve ever seen on his face still remaining. “oh you have no idea how much that made my day!”

“i think i have a rough idea.”

“you’re hilarious, name. what made you go ahead and fall for childe?”

“your heart is as cold as your fingers, wanderer. besides… i didn’t say i liked him.”

“you didn’t have to. the red on your face is enough.”

your heads cover your cheeks again, cursing your body for being so expressive. “whatever. now let me leave.”

“hold on.” his arms stops you from walking past him, his gaze lingering at your waist before he pulls back. when he turns to face you, you don’t step back despite the proximity. it felt like a challenge, like he was daring you to back down. “you’re really spending the christmas alone? seriously?”

“it doesn’t concern you.”

“well i’m about to make it concern me. spend the christmas with me.”

this time, it was your turn to laugh. “you’re kidding me, right? we barely know each other. and you totally laughed in my face, like, a second ago.”

“you just did the same thing to me just now.” he points out. “it cancels out.”

you hold your ground. “i am not spending the christmas with you. what, are you asking me out right now?”

“why? getting nervous?”

“as if. you’d have to be the last person on teyvat for me to go on a date with you.”

“that’s harsh.” his breath fans over your face as he laughs. “i would have gone on a date with you if you asked.”

“well, i’m not.”

he hums, and something in his gaze changes, like a gear clicking into place. “but i am.”

you hate that his words leave you flustered, blaming it on the fact that his suggestion had been absurd and abrupt and not the fact that he was looking at you the way you always hoped childe would. “wanderer, don’t joke. i’m really not feeling that right now.”

ignoring your words, his fingers creep up your arm, leaving a warm trail, dragging upwards to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “well, you’re not the worst thing i could pick up on a chirstmas night.”

“woah, you really have a way with words, huh.” your heart beats faster, a betrayal to your mind. even as you speak, you find yourself enchanted by the way he looks at you, like he was holding you in the palm of his hand.

“not pushing me away?” his fingers drift up your cheek, and you shiver.

then, his hand finds purchase on the top of your head, fisting a handful of your hair and yanking it up. you yelp, hands flying to the spot of pain, words of protest already on your tongue, your mind telling you that you knew it, you knew he was up to no good, when his words cuts through the panic and freezes you.

‘look.” he says, his tone somewhere between disinterest and humour. “what’s above us, hm, name?”

you study the green above the both of you in a daze. “mistletoe.”

lighter this time, he lowers your head so he can look at you, fingers caressing your head slightly as if it will erase the pain. and it does, in a wonder that only christmas can bring, you find yourself speechless. the boy in front of you doesn’t register, though you can’t miss his degrading smile and the way his head is tilted for your response. you can’t move however, unsure if moving will break the moment, unsure on why you are so hesitant to end the situation when you really should be ending it, unsure on the warmth blossoming in your chest.

with another hand, the wanderer swipes a finger under your lip before letting it drop to pull you closer by the waist. “not protesting anymore? i always thought the snarky part of you was your only redeeming factor.”

you open and close your mouth, then open it again.

“i guess your stupidity has it’s own charm.” he snickers. “you’re bright red.”

“i’m bright red?” you squeak.

“mhm.” leaning in, he finally closes the distance.

and when your lips meet under mistletoe, it isn't the soft caress of his tongue that you notice but that he didn't quite taste like gingerbread.

merry christmas everyone! whether you celebrated yesterday, or you're celebrating today, or even if you don't celebrate at all, i hope you all have a wonderful day with friends and family !! ☆ i'm a little busy so sorry for the draft (again) !!

186 notes View Post

xiaotopia

2 years ago

Better than you could aspire to be - Tighnari

Angst time! This is an isekai, not as long as I feared it would be. Tighnari is the one that goes into a different world, it'll make sense. Gender neutral reader, sad ending

Tighnari worked in a fast food place in his own world. See, he was a student, and the only place that would willingly take students were such places. He grew to hate this more intensely as he continued to work, somehow keeping up with his studies in botany. The smell of the food that smelled so unappetising after working around the food items for so long, the fact he had to scrub his ears to get food out that had been thrown by a rude customer, and on top of that he had people constantly pointing phones into his face and gushing over his 'cute ears'. He found himself daydreaming the day he could finally stop working in this hellhole, where he could finally enjoy his work in a field he loved.

City noises were excessive as well, the transport to his university not helping with anything apart from getting him from point a to b. Again, he knew people were taking pictures of his ears and shamelessly talking about how big they were. Some people said it must be a cosmetic, others saying that he was compensating for something else. Truthfully, he grew to despise them. The way people had no shame, the way some people even had the audacity to touch them without asking.

One day, he finished a particularly heavy shift, and he flopped onto the bed without even having the energy to stay awake. In his uniform, he tries to remind himself to change once he wakes up.

The next day, he wakes up in an unfamiliar forest. The flora around him didn't look familiar, the strange statue that loomed above and various other contraptions he was clueless about. He goes to check his phone, only to sigh when he realises that his phone was dead.

You hear the man call out, waking you up early, and you decide to go out to investigate. Looking over, you see a man in a strange uniform you never saw before. Sure, you usually stay in the forest, but you saw a lot of outfits on those who got lost in the forest and this was nothing like that. Walking down, you wave at the man, who looks up from the device in his hands.

"Hello! Are you lost?" You ask, seeing the man nod. "You are currently in Ghandara ville."

"Where is that?" The man asks. "I've never heard of that place."

"Sumeru? Teyvat?" You ask, the man in front of you only growing more confused. Looking down, you see he keeps glancing at the thing in his hands. "What's that?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Oh, this is my phone. Do you have a charger handy?" The man asks, only to look more defeated when you explain you don't have one, nor do you understand what the phone was. "I'm from _, I work in McDonalds." The man explains, only to see you now confused.

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure out something!" You exclaim, hoping to cheer the man up. I am _, head forest ranger." You introduce yourself.

"Tighnari, Botany student and fast food worker." The man introduces himself.

You nod, taking interest in him stating he was a botany student where he was from.

"Well, if you'd like I can get in touch with a good friend of mine to get you into a botany course!" You start, before continuing."And you can stay here and work as a forest ranger!"

You expect Tighnari to go against the idea of being a forest ranger in an unfamiliar place, and he does hesitate for a second, but he decides to nod. Of course, you agree to train him up, and you show him to the room you were in before moving your stuff to someone else's room to stay with them.

Everyone meets Tighnari, who seems nervous for some reason. Thankfully, everyone was welcoming, saying he was sure to enjoy working as a forest ranger full time before they head off for their routes after you assign this to everyone.

"Please, he's really lost!" You ask, Cyno looking at you as you continue to beg him for the chance to let Tighnari into a botany course despite having no prior qualifications. "I think he's gonna be a good match for the course!"

"And how can you be so certain of this?" Cyno asks, not convinced. "Let's say he gets too attached to the world he isn't used to, as long as he wasn't lying. What happens if he wakes up back in his own world, only to miss the feeling of this one?"

"I'm sure he could adapt! He's adapted well to this one, and there's no harm in letting him in the course. Give him a shot, and if he isn't good enough then I'm fine with just taking him in as a forest ranger." You continue, Cyno closing his eyes. He knew you only spoke like this when your mind could not be changed, no matter how long the conversation lasted

"...Fine." Cyno finally lets out.

You work with Tighnari, and over time he gets adept with a bow. So, you decide to test him on his accuracy. To your relief, it appears he seemed to pick it up rather well, and you don't fully believe him when he claims he never used a bow before.

Turns out he was really good with his course work as well. You saw him work with his books often, even assisting other people with their own courses and keeping on top of his coursework.

The forest rangers really liked his company, and over time they grew more confident with their compliments to him.

"You're so good with that bow!"

"It's admirable how quickly you've been able to pick up these skills."

"Your medicine is better than what the head ranger does! Oh, no offence, _!"

"If _ isn't careful, you're gonna be taking the leadership role here!"

At first, you enjoyed seeing him gain confidence with these comments, but some of them really stung. You knew that while you were liked, people deemed Tighnari to be objectively better for the role of head ranger. He was doing really well with his studies, he was able to help people and keep his grades up, and on top of that he still had his spare time. You barely were able to keep up with all the withering zones, every time you turned your back one would materialise and make itself known to another ranger, and you'd have to take it on.

That was until Tighnari proved he was better with clearing these withering zones than you.

It felt like he was trying to make you feel awful for your lack of competency in your work, but he was incredibly friendly. You knew he was only trying to help, and that's what kept you from just giving up and giving him the position. So, you keep reminding yourself that these pointers you've been giving to Tighnari have helped him, and you were the one who got him onto that course.

Cyno sends you a letter, stating it was urgent. When you let everyone know you had to visit someone, you see them brush it off before they turn back to Tighnari. You don't spare a second glance, heading off as you hear someone talk about a dendro vision. As much as you wanted to talk, when Cyno required you it was never ideal.

Cyno looks particularly unnerved as he gazes at this portal in front of him. Turning, he spots you, and he waves you over.

"This is what I was warning you about." He explains. "This is Tighnaris world. I would have sent you with Tighnari himself, however that won't be ide." He explains, sighing out.

"Huh? But why is that a problem?" You ask, tilting your head.

"Since Tighnari obtained a vision, sending him back to his world would be less than ideal." Cyno states. "We need to send someone in his place. Or else, this portal won't go. He continues, looking over at you.

The look in his eyes is all you need to know.

"Oh man..." You huff out. "I have to go, don't I?"

Cynos eyes widen, shaking his head.

"Not necessarily, all we need is a non vision wielder." He begins. "We could send one of-"

"I'll go." You nod, Cyno opening his mouth as he tries to speak. "I was the one that worked so hard to keep him here, so I see it as fair."

You were also very insecure over Tighnari being classed as better than you in every way, but you don't dare tell Cyno this.

"...I'll miss you, you know." Cyno admits, a sad smile as he realises you were going to go even if he advocated against this. "Is there any way I can convince you-"

You shake your head, stopping Cyno.

"The feeling is returned." You admit.

Before you walk through the portal, taking Tighnaris place in his world, you give your best friend one long hug.

270 notes View Post

xiaotopia

2 years ago

On the complexities of relationships and words

Summary: For two people that love to read, words seem like a complex.

Word Count: 13k (yeah… this is slow burn, might want to get a drink and snack)

Tags: Alhaitham x Fem!Reader, Slow Burn, Smut, NSFW, Fluff, Angst kind heavy?, Modern AU, Omegaverse AU, A/B/O relationships, slow fic, marriage, arranged pairing, dubcon, themes about not liking yourself, TW: gender dysphoria (you don’t like your secondary gender), TW: Very vague and brief mentions to possible past domestic trauma, Jealous!alhaitham, slight yandere!alhaitham, mutual pining, miscommunication, breeding, biting, ruts, Alpha!alhaitham, Beta!reader. You agreed to the pairing due to tax benefits. A lot of references to literature.

Authors note: This is my first attempt at slow burn and yeah… I got carried away. I want to explore how slow alhaitham would open up and how love can come from the mind instead of the heart. Enjoy.

Keep reading

6K notes View Post

xiaotopia

4 years ago

Mihoyo you coward. Make them get along again.

3K notes View Post

xiaotopia

1 year ago

* / MISBEHAVING

— MASTERLIST;

( sukuna x f!reader / gojo x f!reader )

+ to join the taglist: fill this up. (open!)

summary: after getting kicked to the curb by gojo satoru, you want to give him a taste of his own medicine. the answer? ryomen sukuna. but you get more than you bargained for when you get entangled in both family’s messes.

content warnings: angst + fluff + smut (MDNI), modern au, fake dating, toxic relationships (and families), mentions of abuse/suicide/death, everyone in this story is petty in their own way (and i mean very petty), sukuna is mostly a dick (so is gojo), toji is a bad father, everyone here is bad at feelings (sorry!), manipulating/gaslighting, alcohol/cigarettes will be commonly mentioned & included, certain degree of elitism, beware my horrible planning skills + more to be revealed as the chapters go along.

status: ongoing! (click here if you want to read on ao3)

-> flip the pages:

01. prologue: the calm before the storm

02. chapter one: the enemy of my enemy is my (boy)friend

03. chapter two: barking up the wrong zenin tree

04. chapter three: keeping up (fake) appearances

05. chapter four: the monument to all your sins

06. chapter five: two sides to the same coin

07. chapter six: and that’s where love finds you, in the tragedies

08. chapter seven: where there’s smoke, there’s fire (and disaster)

09. chapter eight: two can keep a secret

10. chapter nine: the devil is in the details

11. chapter ten: bound

12. chapter eleven: be careful what you wish for

13. chapter twelve: there are no good people here

++ more to be updated!

+ notes: please remember—not everything is accurate to real-life situations & all things that happen here are fictional. sukuna doesn’t have tattoos on his face here, just his body and they’re not the same as the manga/anime. titles for unreleased chapters might change because i’m indecisive. related asks are under the tag #series: misbehaving

2K notes View Post