Just Found Out This Is Donna

Just found out this is donna

SEROTONIN SEROTONIN SEROTONIN SEROTONIN SEROTONIN SEROTONIN SEROTONIN

please dont mind the asuka wallpaper im just crying for her

LOOK AT THEM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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xiaotopia

2 years ago

The next best thing.

✿ Remember to read part one first!

❀ Prologue/summary: Desperate to get away from your memory of Scaramouche, you left in search of a new beginning. Can you really escape your past with him as easily as it is ideal?

❀ Pairing(s): Harbinger! Scaramouche x gn! reader

❀ Themes/warnings: Spoilers for Scaramouche’s backstory/main archon quest, mentions of violence, Angst.

❀ Doll’s note: Ahh hello! ( ･∀･)/ Sorry for the wait, but I’m really excited to finally present what I’ve been working on! Some of your replies gave me a good chuckle, they’re really motivating! But seriously, thank you<3

❀ word count: 2.2k

✿ masterlist (not yet posted) ✿ requested by: N/A, original concept

It’s been around a week since your last encounter with Scaramouche.

The plentiful amount of time to yourself has allowed you to reflect on all the poor decisions that led you to your current position. Love has truly made you lose sight of who you were and blinded you from your original motives. It was something that you, out of all people, could never have imagined falling victim to.

The passing fields you’re walking through were finally losing their familiarity, as the only thing pushing you to keep on moving is the wish to be somewhere far from a place that reminded you of your shared memories with him. Over time it has been cultivating many mixed emotions, which, although intense, you couldn’t quite identify as good or bad ones. All of it together was becoming incredibly frustrating because feeling so much emotion has always been foreign to you.

Despite your pitiful situation, the archons seemed to do their damn best to send even more troubles your way. You were just oh-so-lucky enough to receive your very own version of typical winter Inazuma weather on your way out, which was somehow even more unforgiving than usual.

Perhaps as a means to cope with your pain, you were slowly starting to grow numb to hurting. You quickly went from mourning over your loss to seeing red all around you. Every misfortune you experienced throughout your travels was his fault to begin with, it only made sense that the grief gradually seeped in as anger. It was all too overbearing, your sanity was merely hanging on by a thread.

“Mercy… please.. archons… save me….”

It only enraged you further to watch the treasure hoarder before you to plead for mercy after witnessing the brutal deaths of their comrades. He was just like you to Scaramouche, a pathetic resemblance of someone who thought they were special enough to be granted an exception.

When the glowing ashes of his corpse dissipated away, silence took over in your returning solitude. You thought your mind would finally be relieved of this frustration, for you to be finally feeling something else, anything else after murdering those pitiful people.

Why has it done absolutely nothing?

“I thought I heard people yelling here but I don’t seem to see anyone else, are you alright miss?” A male voice spoke out from behind you.

The man introduced himself as Tighnari, an Avidya Forest Watcher who was in the middle of a research report on the nearby area. The sudden realization that you’ve already made it to Sumeru makes you wonder how you even lasted so long without resting.

“It’s our responsibility to aid travelers in need.”

He smiled gently as he offered you a hand. You eyed his tall animal ears with a moment’s curiosity before getting up yourself, dusting off your clothes from the debris of your short-lived battle.

It took quite a bit of unwanted conversation to cover up your deeds, you didn’t want to stir up additional commotion to the situation at hand. Yes, treasure hoarders weren’t the best kind of people but that alone was no justification for being the subject of your wrath.

“I was.. just looking for something to eat.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, it’s been about three days since the time you last ate. Even so, that instance could barely even be referred to as a proper meal because berries aren’t considered the most satiating.

Tighnari took pity upon your weak appearance and offered to take you back to Gandharva Ville with him. Despite the fact that you didn’t want to follow him at first, you can only ignore your looming exhaustion so many times until your body eventually gives out. You might be tough, but still human nonetheless. With the help of his assistant, he provided you with medical supplies and dinner, which you hesitantly accepted.

The next two months went by rather slowly. You have begun to live amongst the rest of the people in Gandharva Ville along with Tighnari and Collei, as a forest ranger yourself. It wasn’t a job that made the most out of your vision potential, but you had nothing to use them for anyway. Your past with the Fatui and Scaramouche has been less insistent on plaguing your mind once you settled down in a new environment, it was a pleasant change of pace. Your heart was gathering up its pieces, yet the emptiness you’ve felt before has made its way back into your daily routine. This peaceful way of living would always be infinitely better than the mental torment that he would have put you through.

Anything would be better than that, right?

It wasn’t until you heard his name again, that you have managed to keep your emotions at bay.

The sages from the Akademiya have come to attempt to convince Tighnari to return to Sumeru city. The prestigious institution took notice of his exceptional intellect and thought of his current position as a waste of his talents as a scholar. It just seemed like a minor inconvenience at first, so you decided to tend to your assigned duties a little earlier.

Just as you were returning to deliver your updated report to Tighnari, the sages were on their way out. You were just about to dismiss their presence when you overheard a familiar name.

“Dr. Dottore needs us to go later tonight, to help with their project with the Balladeer.”

“His name was Scaramouche, right?”

Your report scattered all across the forest path, your trembling fingers unable to hold on to their delicate pages at what you just heard. You could feel your chest begin to heave rapidly as your mind became a jumbled mess. Everything to do with this man should have been behind you, never to reappear in your thoughts again, so why now?

Why?

Why, why, WHY?

You had to find out for what wretched reason the Akademiya was included in a scheme associating with such a painful part of your memory, so you abandoned your original plans to follow them back into the city.

It turns out that the sages have been working together with Dottore in the late stages of developing Scaramouche’s artificial god form. You didn’t know what your plan was before, but it was never your goal to come this close to actually encountering him.

…

You stepped into the forest cavern, right before where he is held from the information you collected. Do you really want to see him again? Why are you even here?

In spite of the voices in your head, his face etched itself into your mind. You were brimming with emotions, your weakness for the man never left you after all.

There wasn’t much logic left behind your thoughts, the only force driving your actions being an unreasonable craving. You revealed the hidden entrance by copying the procedure you witnessed Dotorre perform earlier, taking a final deep breath before crossing the threshold.

Your steps echoed throughout the large chambers of the Joururi Workshop, examining the large pieces of what you assumed were unfinished equipment in their creation of this “artificial god”. The Fatui really does work quickly, you’d at least have to give them credit for their efficiency.

“(y/n)?”

Your heart stopped the moment you heard your name, but not because of how it belonged to you.

“What are you doing here?”

You turned to face the black-haired harbinger, the one that you only ever allowed yourself to remember in your dreams.

He looked just as gorgeous as before.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash, the sound of thunder hitting the spot where you once were before your reflexes barely preserved your life.

“What a coward you are, showing up before I can even finish my project.”

You hid behind a pile of various mechanical materials, trying to process the fact that Scaramouche was now trying to kill you. It shouldn’t be the most surprising because of how you acted during your last meeting.

“I guess I should finally pay you back for being so disrespectful, hmm?”

Scaramouche’s laugh was dripping with poison, making your reality now clear.

You were just so sick of it all, you were never going to find peace with the presence of this awful man’s existence in Teyvat. Your suppressed feelings after so long, resurfaced as the same bloodlust you felt the day you met those poor treasure hoarders.

“I have been dying to see you, Scara.”

You approached him with a smile, the rest of the confrontation was merely a blur.

…

The sword that was given to you on the same day you joined the Fatui, was now pierced through your former superior’s chest. His eyes widened, unsure of how he had ended up being on the losing end of this exchange. After all, he never paid any attention to your abilities, if only he was as observant of you as you were of him back then. You knew of his every blind spot, every little weakness that bought you just an adequate amount of time to pin him right where you wanted him.

It was an extensive fight where you applied all those years of experience by his side, performing the final accumulation of your feelings as a rendezvous of death.

I have always been watching you.

You dug your blade further in, causing his legs to give out and collapse to the ground. It was far from what would kill him instantaneously due to his lack of a real heart, but enough to sufficiently incapacitate him.

I have always longed for you.

You kneeled next to him, watching his surprise twisting into rage. Shadows from his hair cast over his face as he gritted his teeth.

But I can’t have you.

“I was so close…”

So I’ll choose the next best thing.

His frame shook when his devastated eyes stared into yours.

“I WAS SO CLOSE DAMNIT, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?”

He was lashing out at you now, upon the realization that his premature death would ultimately rip him away from what was about to be his godhood. He screamed hateful, terrible, words at you. Yet, you still pitied his helpless state.

He has never been kind to you, barely even grateful for anything you’ve ever managed to accomplish for him.. Yet there were moments when he appeared so lonely. He was like a lost soul craving for something beyond what he felt was even possible, hence his want to reshape a new world.

Tears were streaming down his face, his crying voice now barely above a whisper due to the spreading fatigue. You could tell he no longer had the energy to be angry, and gently held his hand in yours. He wept quietly on the floor, relishing in your comfort within his vulnerable state.

You were aware of the three betrayals that shaped Scaramouche into the bitter person he was. He suffered being the abandoned subject of his creator, being viewed as if his existence as a monstrosity by the only friend he’s ever made, and the loss of a child he’s come to care for after making unkept promises to one another. You didn’t want him to have nobody in his final moments, despite his flawed pessimism, and no matter how bad he used to treat you.

You both savored the stillness of the Joururi workshop’s solitude, that is until he was the one to break the silence, much to your surprise.

“..Why do you think my creator has yet to get rid of me, to allow me to wander as far out of her grasp as to even become a harbinger?”

He was now reflecting in deep thought, the focus of his gaze on the intricate ceiling of the domain. It’s like he read your mind.

“…My former friend might have been right, for me to have soon become someone who hurt the lives of so many.”

You didn’t expect him to ever find forgiveness, for him to finally realize that there is more to living creatures than just misery. The hopeful glint in his eyes vastly differed from the characteristics you’ve come to know rather well.

“…I suppose the boy’s mortality wasn’t necessarily his fault, it was cruel of me to shift the blame for my loss on him.”

He finished his declaration with a small sad chuckle, a genuine one.

“…hey.. (y/n).”

He called out to you, asking why you continue to remain by his side after his continuous exploitation of your feelings.

You explained to him that you cannot pick and choose what you feel. Why people care so much about seemingly unreasonable emotions was something you couldn’t comprehend either.

This was something only he has been able to have taught you for the first time in your life, but you kept that last part to yourself. His cold fingers gave yours a light squeeze, and your chest tightened at his melancholic expression.

“For my new understanding, I’m eternally grateful to you.”

His chest rose and fell slowly, his trembling gradually coming to a halt.Turns out your efforts have brought him peace, one that he was unable to achieve on his own.

“……Maybe things would be different for us if I was born human too.”

With those words, he used the last of his strength. You felt his hand loosen its grip on yours, as he succumbed to his rest. You’ve helped him move on from his past and achieve his true goal, to see a world that wasn’t just filled with deceit and lies. What a truly bittersweet way for your first love to come to an end.

..But what was in it for me?

A sob escaped your throat as you cradled his unconscious form, hushed cries escalating into painful wails that resounded in the large room.

You refused to leave his side for hours after, you weren’t ready to part with him just yet. Your reunion was so brief after all.

…

Small taps of footsteps were heard behind you as you came face-to-face with a little, white-haired girl.

“(y/n), right?”