No Cz I Rlly Need To Ramble My Guts Out To Any1, But Who?? 🙁

keep living

featuring — hanemiya kazutora

genre — fluff

author’s note — yes, i’m totally late for the party and its not even fashionable in any way. but i still want to celebrate it because hanemiya kazutora deserves the world. (@walhalla i’m gonna need a spare brain, mine is still fried)

there are times when you’d notice your boyfriend spacing out. considering how overwhelming his life has been, kazutora cant help but feel lost sometimes, in life and thought. so when he leaves your shared bed in the middle of the night for a long ride, you dont question his action at all. you’d wait for his return, fully aware of his search for a sense of peace you’re unable to provide.

one of the times when his aimless wanders would go further than any others is the night before his birthday. you’ve been together for years, but on every morning of 16th july, you’d find his side of the bed cold, as if he’d never been there at all. he’d then come home with a fake smile plastered on his face, and your heart broke into pieces.

when the next 15th july rolled around, you prepared yourself yet again. except it didnt happen like you’ve expected. that night, kazutora held your hand in his slightly trembling one, eyes dancing with a mixture of emotion, ‘come with me?’. you didnt even bother to change out of your night dress.

and as the memory of the wind howling alongside blinding headlights, roads and sceneries gradually became unfamiliar and fast beating of your boyfriend’s heart underneath your embrace burned to your mind, you felt like you’ve entered a fragment of his world that he had kept hidden away.

'we’re here’, he said as you scanned the unknown land. the 'here’ in front of you presented itself in the form of a vast grassy field on a cliff overlooking the sea. the stars above accompanied your long, silent night of waiting. and if he didnt caress your fingers with his callous ones, you’d thought that he had forgotten that you’re there at all. before long, the world faded away as you drown in the sound of his heartbeat next to your ear.

morning greeted you with feathery kisses by the salty breeze and warmth of your boyfriend’s jacket that had shielded you from the chill of the previous night. 'good morning’, you sat up, expecting nothing in return. only to feel his lips connected to yours in a long, delicate kiss, it left you breathless.

'another year for me to live’, kazutora sighed softly, a familiar emptiness in his eyes. a silent 'another year i dont deserve’ left unuttered. caressing your fingers for a few moments, he continued, 'i’m sorry i made you wait for so long. i-’. you captured his lips in a desperate kiss, wanting him to stop thinking, needed him to.

'i’ll wait for you forever. as long as you need, i’ll be there for you’. your eyes met his in a pool of tears. 'so dont ever apologize!’, your voice broke, and his own tears that he had been holding back spilled down his cheeks in a steady, unstoppable flow.

'is it really okay for me to keep living?’. instantly, he’s in a tight embrace you’ve pulled him into, whispering, 'more than okay’. you kept holding him close as he wailed his heart out until he’s reduced to a delicate, sniffling mess.

on your laps, his eyes were puffy from crying for too long, dried tears on his red cheeks. but there’s a soft smile on his lips as he gazed up at you. 'you can say it now’.

his smile widened to the sound of your sweet laughter that makes his heart flutter every time. leaning down to place a kiss on the tip of his nose, you felt your own heart skipping a beat. 'happy birthday, my love. thank you for being in my life for another year’.

kazutora caressed your chin with his thumb, intertwining your fingers with his in another hand. 'no. thank you for being in my life at all’. connecting your lips with his once again, he’s finally found his peace.

Ugh can’t wait for most of these guys to show up on pgr global, anyways look at BEAUTY (4/5)

Go cope mf 😂

IM VRYING WHY MUST IT BE BER AHHSHAJZJJZ IT COULD BE MONA OR QIQI BUT WHY WHY DID YOU COME HOME IN THIA ACC AGAIN FKNX YUO

episode 18 preview images

Jian Yi + He Tian = chaotic siblings energy

Lost & Found?....

Ft. Tartaglia/Childe (Ajax)

Reader's pronoun : He/Him Cw : the reader fell into the fking abyss<3, abyss princess lumine, abyss reader. Ooc childe??

Summary : In which you were his long lost childhood bestfriend, but reuniting with your long lost childhood friend isn't always the warmest.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

You were merely the core memory of his childhood. the memory you both made always made him smile, no matter which one.

Though, after his days on the abyss he lost the memories. One by one fades out, no matter how hard he tries to remember it, he couldn't. He couldn't remember how you look like. Your hair, your face, your features. It always left him questioned.

When he got out of the abyss, his first thought was his family, and you.

He tried to ask the nearby villager about your whereabout, only to be left with an answer that you had mysteriously disappeared the day after he was gone missing.

But, eventually after a brawl and huge havoc ajax's brings to the seaside village of morepesok, ajax father had no choice but to hand his beloved son to the fatui's.

Days by days went by in the fatui headquarter, ajax has long forgotten his childhood friend, Though whenever he was alone his thought always come to this certain voice he couldn't get over with.

"Ajax!... Ajax, promise me we would stay together forever!" Said a familiar voice of a boy he couldn't remember.

"But i promised you yesterday!" "I don't care! Lets do the promise again." The boy protested.

"Alright, alright!" Ajax could only huffed in response.

"You make a pinkie promise you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise. I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend. The frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again." The both of you said happily

..Oh... he remembered, you were his first friend, a very close one.

A child who always tags along with whatever he was doing, neither it was bad or good. Even his parents and sibling knows you well, you would sometimes have a dinner at his house or sometimes a sleepover.

Even your parents have to scold you because you always came home late.

Oh.. to those little memories that he cherished so much, it makes him misses you even more. But sadly, even when he remembers those memories he can't remember how you look like.

One by one, he remembers the memories vividly. The way you would hold his cold hand and guide him home through the cold forest, the way your smiled warmed his heart.

...He was so lost in thought until

"Sir Tartaglia, The Ship will be docked around 10 minutes until now. Please prepare yourself."

His eyes peered over the kneeling agent behind him.

"Hm." Tartaglia only hummed in response.

With that, the agent left.

Tartaglia recalled that his next mission were located in some random place in snezhnaya, he was tasked to retrieve an stolen ancient artifact which the fatui presumed it came from 500 years ago. The years where khaenriah still exist.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

10.27 Snezhnaya.

Ajax always misses walking down the snowy forest with you, the way you would show him the path on the forest so he diddn't get lost. How your warm hand warmed his cold ones.

"So this is the place.. i diddn't know the abyss would have their hideout around here" he peered over the blurry picture of an snowy ancient ruins, "now that i'm here, will you answer my question? Abyss mage." He pointed his dagger at the exhausted abyss mage under him, blood dripping off his dagger from the countless enemies he Killed.

"Heh.. you thought you could get an easy answer of the artifact huh? Fatui" the abyss mage responded.

"Cmon now.. dont play with me, you know you're on the verge of dying right know aren't you?" he pointed the dagger even more closely to the abyss mage body.

"If you wished for the answer, why don't you ask the answer to his majesty then?" The abyss mage said lowly.

"You—" just before childe could finish his own word, an knife flew infront of his face.

"That's enough." A figure wearing a cloaked clothes said, their upper face hidden by a hood.

"Torturing my underlings is unacceptable, and i guessed you came here for the relic aren't you?" The cloaked figure said while opening his hood revealing a very familiar face to ajax himself.

For a second ajax thinks he was dreaming, the person he cherished the most, is here, in front of him. But he know something was wrong... did.. you just said, underlings?

"You... you.. shit" ajax said, his face showing shock and confusion.

"Oh Tartaglia, or should i say ajax. Don't tell me you forggoten my name already?" You said.

The way his name rolled off your tongue perfectly, it remind him of some memories.

Your name.. what was your name?...

[Na...]...

[Name]?....

[Name]!

Your name! That was your name!

"[Name]! Is that.. Is that really you?!" His face showing an shocked expression.

"Well... could you not tell? You couldn't remember your own friend?" "Or did the abyss really affect you?"

"The Abyss?! How did you know about it??" "Were you.. were you siding with the abyss?!" He screamed.

"Her majesty... she.. she saved me, and in return i... will help her achieve her dream" You said, old Memory flashing your mind.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

"Madame!.. Madame!" You had been knocking on your dearest friend door, hoping for neither one of his family member to answer the knocking, ignoring the snowstorm that had been silencing your voice.

But— by the luck or miracle you have in your pocket, the door opened revealing an concerned mother.

"[Name]??, Oh dear! what are you doing here? The snowstorm is raging outside!" "Look at you, you got frostbite here and there" she said, her tone laced with worries as she examined your body.

"Madame.. is the rumor true?? About ajax?" You said while looking up at her, sad expression on your eye.

"Its.. sigh.., [name] why dont you come inside? I will explain it to you"

Just from her words you could already tell that the rumors was true, her tone explained it all.

"No! I cant.. i.. i need to look for him" you turned your heel, running to the forest where your bestfirend were last seen.

"Wait!... [Name] The snowstorm is still—"

—"[Name]!"

You ran as fast as your feet could take you ignoring the raging snowstorm and a cry of plea coming from Ajax mother

After all, she truly care for both of you right?..

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Huft.. huft..

"ugh, i cant.. breath.." you said as you clutch your hand to your chest gasping for more air.

But..

"The air.. its so.. cold and the snowstorm.. is getting more rougher" "and my frostbite isn't doing any better too" you peered over your hand, showing an visible wound of a frostbite.

"I need to go fast, otherwise i'll freeze to death" again you ran, to wherever direction you could go.

"Ajax! Ajax! Where are you?" You screamed

"Answer me!" Again..

"Ajax!" Again..

"Answer me.. please.." and again..

You ran and screamed until.. you couldn't feel your leg again.

Thump.. you fell onto your knees, your body hurt. You couldn't breath, and your frostbite wound isn't doing any better.

Am i going to die here? Am i going to give up just like this? If i die here... what would my parent feel..? No.. what about ajax's mother? Can she handle the loss of her two favourite child?

Those thought keep flooding your mind "I guess it can't be helped" you closed your eyes, just before Darkness and snow engulfing your tiny body..

"Im sorry..." is all you could muster

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

??.?? unknown place.

My head?.. am i still alive?

You opened your eyes, squinting slightly at the light around you.

"Where am i?.." you looked around the place "it looks like an domain.."

"How did i get in here?..." as you tried to stand up, you realize that your leg isn't moving as you wanted it to.

My legs... how am i supposed to get out of here, i need to—

"Poor kid... falling into such a dangerous place like this" you heard a voice alongside the sound of steps.

There she stands, a young woman with a blonde hair, judging from her attire it seems that she diddn't came from teyvat. But yet she looks so graceful in it.

"Who are you?..." you looked up at her, curiosity plastered on your eyes.

She crouched over to your level, "I will help you" she said whilst holding your chin, "but.. in return, you will help me achieve my dream"

Her dream?... weird..

You had no choice but to say yes.

"Whats your name?" She says

"Im [Name], how about you?.." you said shakily.

"Im.... Lumine."

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

"And the rest.. its blurry, i can hardly remember anything these days. Guess the abyss do affect me too."

"[Name].. so you.. so you went out looking for me that day?.." "but.. but! Mother and the other diddnt say anything about you the day i returned to the village?!"

"I guess.." you hopped down from rather high platform you were standing on "She diddn't want to make you worry Ajax, what kind of mother would want to make their child worry over a trivial matter?" you walked up to him.

"And.. im sorry for not being there when you returned ajax, i should've dis— No, princess lumine I.." you sighed.

"Look ajax, this place isn't safe for you this place is overflowing with dark elemental energy. You should go back soon"

"and the artifact.. i'll just give it to you." You said while handing him the ancient artifact.

"Now go back Ajax, and never return here ever" you turned your back at him, just before you can walk away from him.

"Wait!" You feel a hand holding your cape "Why don't you.. why dont you go back to morepesok with me [name]? You know mother is still looking for you right?? "She would be very happy to see you right now!" He said with an pleading eye.

"Ajax.. i have a duty to attend too, and you too right? Now let go off me" you said trying to pry his hand off your cape.

"Please..."

It took a few tries before his hand were completely off you.

As you walked away from him, you opened up an portal leading to— who knows? Maybe anywhere away from from this auburn haired friend of yours.

"And ajax, dont try on searching for me ever again, also... be careful out there." You said before stepping on the portal, Vanishing away from his sight.

Ajax tries to open his mouth, but still no words came out of his mouth.

And yet once again—

He was left with nothing but

The feeling of loneliness and a longing feeling for your presence.

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Eughhsgshs im finally done with this fic ;D its been like 6 month or more of this thing sitting on my draft/srs. And yes im alive ty and anw this fic is kind of uh 💀 i spent a lot of time in it and yet it looks like ass

★_# 羽宮和虎レイアウト 🌟📝 (REQ) ♡

Amgst are superior

Hey doll!

Hope you are doing well! I really enjoyed my match up with Sanzu! (Even thought up of a self indulgent one shot about it for myself (not posting it)! Thank you for such an amazing match up and idea for that to be possible!)

I've seen from your post that you want some requests so I thought I would send you one!

If I could please request a Hanma X reader angst? Maybe with how Kisaki disliked that Hanma was becoming less available to help with his plans, and he thinks you're the reason for that. And so you have to be taken care of? Preferably reader death but you can decide ultimately what happens. After all, this is your writing and you need to be comfortable.

Don't feel like you have to push yourself to accept this request. I understand how this is not everyone's cup of tea and not everyone likes writing angst to this level.

If this makes you uncomfortable or you don't want to write it, please feel free to just ignore this. I just feel like Hanma angst 😅

Please take care of yourself and remember you are loved! ❤️ Thank you for even reading this ask! ❤️

A/N: Waa thank you very much for your kindness! this is my first time for angst so I'm pretty nervous for this one.(y'all if you're an angst writer maybe you could give me tips on how to do better)

TW: mentions of death, murder(?)

A nuisance. That's what you were to kisaki. A nuisance to his plans. you were always taking up hanma's time. And oh how he despised you for that he wanted you dead, and he will make sure that he has you dead. unbeknowist to you the male has already started planning for your own death.

At a summer morning hanma recieved a call from you and before the phone could make it known he already picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked

"Hanma! hello! it is I your most beloved lover!" you exclaimed. a chuckle was heard from your phone making you smile. 'I managed to make him laugh!' you thought

"Ah! right anyways I was thinking if you wanted to go on a date with me. you see I found this new restaurantand thought we could go check it out together and make it a date."

He laughed glad you were still as loving as you were before

"Sure" he answered

"Really? yay! then see you at my home 1pm bye!" and with that you hang up.

already heading towards your apartment, he heard kisaki's voice now normally he wouldn't interfere wanting it to be a surprise but when he heard him saying your name curiosity took over him. peeking over he saw kisaki and a man he doesn't know talking.

"As I said you'll strike y/n when they're alone got that?" he said

"Loud and clear boss" he answered while snickering

He was surprised to say the least. y/n was going to be killed. and what's worst was that they were bound to be killed by the person who made his life bearable to live in. walking towards you home he was troubled. who would he choose to betray? kisaki, who made his life a circus or y/n whom he fell in love with. either way he knew whatever choice he made it would result in a great amount of loss. arriving to your apartment he ringed the doorbell which immediately got a response. kicking your door open you smiling when you saw your boyfriend.

"Let's go!" you said and hooked you arm with his

snapped out of his thought, he looked at you and smiled before nodding

"So, where is this new restaurant you're saying? he asked

"it's just over there" you said pointing to the left

it was a walking distance from your apartment. arriving the restaurant you were greeted by the sound of bells signaling your entrance.

"Welcome" the waitress said

taking both of your orders, she smiled before leaving you two alone. and once again hanma was lost in thought and you being his lover, knew it was unusual. after all hanma was never quiet. worried you called him

"Hanma?"

he looked up to you to see your worried. quickly erasing the thought, he smiled and went back to his usual self which in a sense, comforted you. smiling, you told him about the latest gossips in your school while he listened with a smile

'if you learned your fate, would you be smiling like you are now' he wondered

leaving the restaurant after gladly eating the meal, you held his hand as he walked you home.

"Y/n" he called

you looked at him with a smile, wondering what he was gonna say.

"no. nevermind" he said unable to tell you

"I see.." you responded

Arriving your apartment, the both of you said your goodbyes to each other. that night you slept peacefully however hanma couldn't. daybreak arrived and he finally made up his mind. picking up his phone,, he called you hoping you'd pick it up.

"hello?" you asked

"ah y/n, can we meet up at a park?" he said trying his best not to let out a sob

"Hm? sure! what time?" you asked

Ah, how innocent he thought

"Now would be preferable" he answered

"Now? ok!" you answered already getting out

Arriving the park, you saw him sitting on a bench. smiling you approached him only to frown when you saw his bloodshot eyes. worried, you cupped his face and asked

"what's wrong?" you asked worry laced in your tone

"Y/n, you know I love you, right?" he asked

"Yes?" you answered confused as to why the sudden question

"You love me too, right y/n?" he asked another peculiar question

"Uh yes?" you answered

As if your answer was a trigger, a knife was plunged in your chest. your eyes widened as you cough out blood. it hurts you thought. but what hurted you more was because the one that stabbed you, was hanma. you looked at him with a questioning expression but gave him a smile before you finally passed out.

"I love you y/n. and if you were bound to die anyways, I'd prefer it'd be me that would kill you" he said before pulling the knife out.

his eyes was lifeless. kneeling down, he touched your body. it was cold, there was no pulse and the bleeding wouldn't stop. he was sure you were dead now. He was smiling, why was he smiling? he wanted to scream, to cry yet why can't I do it?

I loved y/n I really do but maybe we met at the wrong life time. maybe in another life we could be happy we could have children, maybe we could do all the things you want to. but that's just in another life.

hii! can i request some headcanons about reader / mc comes out to the brothers as nonbinary? i'm really confused with my whole gender identity and it's really frustrating but your works keeps me grounded.

ʕ ̳• · • ̳ʔ

/ づ♡ =͟͟͞͞♡

coming out to the brothers as nonbinary

includes: the brothers x/& nonbinary!mc (no pronouns specified)

wc: .7k | rated g | m.list

warnings: implications of transphobia (NOT from the brothers), threats of violence (NOT towards you)

a/n: thank you for requesting and i’m glad my blog is a safe space! i myself am a cis female so please correct me if anything i wrote blatantly harms or misrepresents the trans/nonbinary community. homophobes and transphobes dni. my inbox is open to chat or request!

pls reblog :))

➳ lucifer nods, tapping his chin. “thank you for telling me. i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to confide in me. i’ll do my best to use your preferred pronouns from now on.” you’re still a little nervous, and he notices. taking your hand, he squeezes it softly. “hey. i’m sure everyone else will have the same thoughts on the subject as i do. if you don’t want to tell them and keep this between us that’s fine too. and if you don’t know yet, that's perfectly fine too. i’ll be here for whatever you decide whenever you decide.”

➳ mammon accepts it pretty easily. “nonbinary, huh? that’s cool. if i mess up and misgender you punch me or something. i’ll try my best though, so i hope it doesn’t happen.” nudging you in the side, mammon grins. “am i the first one you told? oh that’s awesome! i knew i was your first man!” even with all of his celebration he doesn’t miss the way your shoulders untense, the way you let out the breath you were holding in. for once, mammon chooses to be tactful and doesn’t mention it, simply carrying on with his bragging.

➳ levi literally could care less. not like that though, ok? he’s just online quite a bit so he has more experience in LGBTQ+ spaces than his brothers do, meaning he’s pretty used to people coming out or questioning their gender or sexual identity. “that’s really cool! that’s for telling me! this is just like a show i watched called ‘my favorite person came out to me and i still love and support them wholeheartedly’!” he tells someone in his headset to hold on a moment, he’s busy, shooting you a grin while he does so. “what pronouns do you want me to use, again?”

➳ satan has heard of this nonbinary thing, of course, but hasn’t really had any actual experience with someone who identified as it. he wants to be as respectful and accepting as he can be and resolves to do some in-depth research the moment he gets a chance. “thank you for telling me, mc. i’ll do my best to use the right pronouns and refer to you as you wish to be referred to, so please, do not hesitate to correct me if i get it wrong.” looking over at you, he has an idea. “do you have any websites or anything i can look at? i want to be the best ally i can.”

➳ asmo just rolls over to face you, tracing a finger down your cheek. “that’s cool! thanks for telling me.” at your confused expression (you had expected more of a reaction), he laughs, flapping a hand in the air. “what, you think you’re the first person to come out to me? i’ve had countless people i’m close to over the years experiment with their identities. gender is such a fluid thing, and it changes so much with each new decade. i’m glad to see people becoming more accepting than they have been in the last few centuries, though.”

➳ beel is serious about the situation, cutely so. “thank you for telling me. i’ll do me best to support you and use the right pronouns.” pulling you into a warm hug, he holds you for a moment, soothing all of your frayed nerves. you lea into his touch, grateful for it. “and,” he whispers lowly in your ear, “if anyone gives you a hard time over it let me know. i’ll take care of it. and them.” a moment passes, silently, and then he’s pulling away from you, smiling like he hadn’t just threatened to do… something to people who wouldn't respect you.

➳ belphie admits he’s a little out of touch on current human matters like this. cheeks red, he has you explain in greater detail, nodding when he finally gets it. “oh that’s fine. thanks for trusting me enough to tell me. i’ll do some looking into it and educate myself. and i’ll definitely try my best to use the right pronouns and stuff from now on.” for once he’s fully alert, normal sleepiness abnormally gone from his expression. “correct me if i get wrong though, okay? and this doesn’t really change anything between us, so don’t worry about it.”

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I wanna smooch him pls omg

PGR Kareshi (3) -- Wanshi [Sleep]