𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔧𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔲𝔰: 𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔷𝔲, 𝔯𝔞𝔫

keep living

featuring — hanemiya kazutora

genre — fluff

author’s note — yes, i’m totally late for the party and its not even fashionable in any way. but i still want to celebrate it because hanemiya kazutora deserves the world. (@walhalla i’m gonna need a spare brain, mine is still fried)

there are times when you’d notice your boyfriend spacing out. considering how overwhelming his life has been, kazutora cant help but feel lost sometimes, in life and thought. so when he leaves your shared bed in the middle of the night for a long ride, you dont question his action at all. you’d wait for his return, fully aware of his search for a sense of peace you’re unable to provide.

one of the times when his aimless wanders would go further than any others is the night before his birthday. you’ve been together for years, but on every morning of 16th july, you’d find his side of the bed cold, as if he’d never been there at all. he’d then come home with a fake smile plastered on his face, and your heart broke into pieces.

when the next 15th july rolled around, you prepared yourself yet again. except it didnt happen like you’ve expected. that night, kazutora held your hand in his slightly trembling one, eyes dancing with a mixture of emotion, ‘come with me?’. you didnt even bother to change out of your night dress.

and as the memory of the wind howling alongside blinding headlights, roads and sceneries gradually became unfamiliar and fast beating of your boyfriend’s heart underneath your embrace burned to your mind, you felt like you’ve entered a fragment of his world that he had kept hidden away.

'we’re here’, he said as you scanned the unknown land. the 'here’ in front of you presented itself in the form of a vast grassy field on a cliff overlooking the sea. the stars above accompanied your long, silent night of waiting. and if he didnt caress your fingers with his callous ones, you’d thought that he had forgotten that you’re there at all. before long, the world faded away as you drown in the sound of his heartbeat next to your ear.

morning greeted you with feathery kisses by the salty breeze and warmth of your boyfriend’s jacket that had shielded you from the chill of the previous night. 'good morning’, you sat up, expecting nothing in return. only to feel his lips connected to yours in a long, delicate kiss, it left you breathless.

'another year for me to live’, kazutora sighed softly, a familiar emptiness in his eyes. a silent 'another year i dont deserve’ left unuttered. caressing your fingers for a few moments, he continued, 'i’m sorry i made you wait for so long. i-’. you captured his lips in a desperate kiss, wanting him to stop thinking, needed him to.

'i’ll wait for you forever. as long as you need, i’ll be there for you’. your eyes met his in a pool of tears. 'so dont ever apologize!’, your voice broke, and his own tears that he had been holding back spilled down his cheeks in a steady, unstoppable flow.

'is it really okay for me to keep living?’. instantly, he’s in a tight embrace you’ve pulled him into, whispering, 'more than okay’. you kept holding him close as he wailed his heart out until he’s reduced to a delicate, sniffling mess.

on your laps, his eyes were puffy from crying for too long, dried tears on his red cheeks. but there’s a soft smile on his lips as he gazed up at you. 'you can say it now’.

his smile widened to the sound of your sweet laughter that makes his heart flutter every time. leaning down to place a kiss on the tip of his nose, you felt your own heart skipping a beat. 'happy birthday, my love. thank you for being in my life for another year’.

kazutora caressed your chin with his thumb, intertwining your fingers with his in another hand. 'no. thank you for being in my life at all’. connecting your lips with his once again, he’s finally found his peace.

I finally found someone who write for pgr :D and this is so good sgsjshwhwhw

Hi. :) Your writing is divine and I would be honored if you fulfilled even one of my requests. Please bestow upon me an emotionally broken, male PGR MC being comforted by Kamui and/or Lee after a long, hard day. Also Kamui and/or Lee going to male Skk needing comfort after anti-Construct discrimination. Or male Skk worrying about his gender while being in love with Kamui, Lee or Chrome.

Courtney! Thank you for the ask! (And for your kind words ❤️)

So, this is actually part 1 of your ask, because I have so many ideas and no time to write them all haha. It's Lee being confronted with anti-Construct discrimination and having an emotionally charged exchange with the Commandant after. I know you requested a male SKK, but I couldn't find a way to bring it up organically so the SKK is written as gender-neutral (I hope that's okay 😣). I wanted the focus of this piece to be a dance between Lee and SKK, a tension that goes unresolved and the comfort that can be found in that liminal space. It ended up being quite long (2.1k), which is why it took a while for me to finish.

Part 2 will feature an emotionally fragile male SKK getting anxious about their gender and feelings towards Kamui when getting comforted physically. I'm not sure when it'll be out since I write best when inspiration strikes, but I hope you'll bear with me until it does!

Okay, enough blabbering that nobody cares about. Go Lee!

Liminal Space   //     LEE

All done. Lee stood and stretched. The workshop was empty at this hour, nobody to keep him company but white lights and crystalline silence. He liked it. There was a certain sense of clarity in this kind of solitude, like the universe was revealing her tender secrets just for him. The night breathed while the world slept, and Lee loved the quiet of his own thoughts.

He’d just finished developing an inver-device for his robots. The complexity of such technology had been beyond his understanding for a long time, but he’d studied it and he’d figured it out. There was pride to take in such human things, he thought. The simplicity of learning.

He put the little bot in his pocket and made his way down the brightly lit corridors. Even at this hour, Babylonia dreamt in working colours. Offices blazed with golden light. Labs leaked blues and greens as Constructs underwent maintenance or emergency surgery. There was no true rest here, not in this place cradled by starlight.

He’d almost arrived at his room when a harsh voice tore through the veiled silence. “Hey. You.”

Lee stopped, but didn’t turn around. A midnight confrontation usually went one of two ways. He highly doubted it was going to be the pleasant one. “Something to say?” he asked coolly.

“Yeah, in fact, I do.” The vitriol in the man’s voice was clear. His footsteps drew close. “We don’t need you filthy things. Humanity can fight its own war. You bloody robots can eat shit.” A hand clamped down on his shoulder. “Once we reclaim the earth, there’ll be no place for things like you.”

“If you say so,” Lee said, reaching up to brush the man’s clammy fingers from his shirt. “Now if you’ll excuse me--” An arm shoved him roughly against the wall. The man was stocky, with bloodshot eyes sunk deep in his lined face. His breath stank of alcohol. “No,” he slurred in Lee’s face. “I don’t think I will. What’re you gonna do about it, filth?”

Lee wanted very much to put his knee between the man’s legs. How easy it would be to overpower this pathetic drunk, to give him a dangerous awareness of the fragility of human flesh. But the consequences of such behaviour were simply unacceptable. He schooled his features into neutrality, blue eyes like chips of ice. “I’m not going to do anything,” he said. “You’re not worth my time.”

The man’s face twisted with rage. He slammed Lee’s head against the wall with enough force to rattle his teeth. His vision glitched. “Fuck you,” the man hissed, spittle flying like bullets. “You’re an abomination.”

“Maybe,” Lee admitted. “But I’m still better than you.”

A wad of spit landed on his cheek, wet and sour and foul. “Fuck you,” the stranger said again. Then the anger seemed to drain from him, replaced by an intense disdain Lee reciprocated. He spat once more in Lee’s face before releasing him. “If the earth is going to be populated by freaks like you,” he said. “Then we might as well let the bloody Punishing have it.” He sauntered down the hall, swaying as though he walked on invisible waves.

Prick, Lee thought. He watched the man disappear around a corner before scrubbing a sleeve across his cheek. The wetness smeared across his face, like an oil slick across water. He cringed. Disgusting.

Straightening his jacket, he made his way down the corridor. His mood had soured considerably, all the more because the man had something vaguely resembling a point. He’d never permitted himself to dwell on it, and there had never really been the time nor space, but the truth was that Earth was for humanity. It always had been, and it always would be. People like him were needed now, but one day, under blue skies and birdsong, they would no longer be necessary. Just remnants of a time rather forgotten.

He paused outside your room. Soft golden light peeked out from under the door, like an invitation he didn’t know how to accept. What am I doing here?

The door slid open soundlessly. “Lee?”

Suddenly, you stood before him, all messy hair and tired eyes. You looked exhausted, but somehow still radiant, like a fire blazed just out of sight. No matter how dim, it never went out. Lee stuttered. “H-How did you know I was here?”

“I sensed fluctuations in your M.I.N.D,” you said, flashing a small smile. “And I recognise your footsteps.” Lee flushed, but said nothing. He couldn’t seem to meet your eyes.

“I should--”

You cut him off with a sweeping gesture. “Come in. I need some distraction from all this paperwork, anyway.” You didn’t wait for him to accept. Stepping aside, you poured yourself another cup of coffee and took a sip. “Can’t live without this stuff,” you said, grimacing at the bitter taste. “Though I really wish I could.”

Lee sighed. The door clicked shut softly behind him. He looked different in the warm glow of your lamp, all his hard edges blurred into something tender and vulnerable. “You really should take better care of your health, Commandant,” he said, snatching the cup neatly from your fingers. “Starting with going to bed at a reasonable time.”

You laughed. “You’re one to talk, Lee. Constructs need sleep too, you know?”

“Not as much as you.” He sniffed the confiscated coffee. “This smells terrible.”

“It’s not that bad. Does the job.”

“A job that shouldn’t need doing,” he scoffed, tipping the brown liquid down the drain. You studied him, noting the way he seemed to move just a little too stiffly, a little too absently. Lee was meticulous about everything, living his life with the precision of a needle. His M.I.N.D. was like a lake, a glassy mirror to the sky and stars, the world’s beauty reflected back to her heavenly eyes. Quiet and calm, tranquil. Two fluctuations within half an hour certainly wasn’t the norm.

“What happened?” you asked after a time, when the silence between you had grown heavy. He bristled. “Nothing.”

“Lee.”

His words came slowly, like they were dug from some secret grave where they’d been left to die. You waited patiently. His words were rare. To know his thoughts was a treasure beyond worth. “I ran into someone unpleasant outside the workshop,” he said finally. “They attacked me.”

Anger flared to life within you. “Who?” you growled, trying to calm the animal urge to fight, to protect. Lee didn’t look at you. “It doesn’t matter,” he said firmly. “I diffused the situation.”

“Then why are you so upset,” you demanded. “Nobody can hurt you, so what did they say?” He fell silent once more. You forced yourself to still, to be a confidant instead of a bully. There was no forcing Lee; he would tell you or he wouldn’t. When he spoke again, there was a bitterness in his voice that was heartbreaking.

“The Earth isn’t meant for people like me, Commandant,” he said. “We’re fighting to return it to its rightful owners. People like you.”

“Is that what they told you?” you asked, fighting to keep the emotion from your tone. “The Earth belongs to all of us. Including you.”

He smiled ruefully. “Always an optimist. But you’re wrong. Us Constructs know nothing but war. We were built for it, after all. When Earth comes back to us, it’ll need kinder hands to guide it. To heal it.”

You’d heard enough. You strode up to him and unwound his crossed arms. His eyes widened, those beautiful eyes bluer than the ocean and just as deep. “These hands are kind,” you said, turning his palms up to the sky. “These hands build robots. These hands protect me.” You brushed a thumb over his skin. “These hands protected Murray. So tell me, how are you not fit to heal the Earth?”

His breath caught, just slightly. Your name drifted from his lips like forbidden fruit, caught somewhere between meaning and insignificance. “It’s not the container, but what’s in it,” you continued, staring at his metallic right hand. The black steel was dull in the gloom, chipped paint and scuff marks marred the smooth surface. Proof of a life lived in danger, of a selfless devotion to the terrible war. You laced your fingers through his. “A body built for war isn’t the same as a soul made for one. A hand that kills isn’t the same as a heart that’s cruel. I don’t care what anybody says, if reclaiming the Earth means abandoning the people who fought for it, then let the Punishing have that damned rock.” You were painfully aware of the space between you, a distance that seemed to shrink but never close. “The future I fight for,” you finished quietly. “Is one with you in it.”

Lee was silent. Your fingers between his were like a brand upon his soul. He didn’t know what to say. All his words felt awkward, like the clumsy tatters of a dream. They stuck in his throat, choking him, but there was so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to show you.

You moved to pull away. Don’t leave. Without thought, he tugged with his robotic hand, pulling you into an embrace that was at once desperate and tender. He held you against him, strong arms wrapped around your shoulders as though he couldn’t bear to let you go. “I was more upset than I realised,” he said softly, breath warm against the shell of your ear. “Thank you, Commandant.”

“Of course,” you said, pressing yourself just a little closer to him. “Anything for you, Lee.”

You stayed like that a while, and it was like the whole world paused. Just you and Lee suspended in a moment protected by the very night itself. You breathed in his scent, clean air on an ocean breeze, and rested your head in the crook of his neck. The warmth of another body, the press of skin on skin. You hadn’t realised how much you’d needed it.

When the moment broke, Lee’s cheeks were flushed. He pulled away. “S-Sorry,” he said awkwardly, as if all the embarrassment of the past few minutes was hitting him all at once.

You laughed, perhaps a little too sharply. A little too breathlessly. “Nothing to apologise for,” you said. “I think we both needed that.”

You cleared your throat. Something had happened, something that lingered in the air still. You could almost reach out and touch it, if only you dared. But you let it fade, felt it disappear from the air as if it had never been there at all.

Because you weren’t ready. And neither was Lee. Perhaps one day, you thought with some regret. But not today.

Sighing, you moved back to your desk and leaned against it. Picking up a file, you scanned it absently before tossing it back down. You quirked a smile at Lee. “Do you want to stay awhile?” you asked, gesturing to the pile of reports on your desk. “Plenty of riveting work to be done.”

Lee snorted. “As if I don’t have better things to do.”

“Do you?” You sat down. Here you both were again, back in familiar waters. A push, a pull, a constant tug-of-war. Never a winner, just the eternal game. It was both a comfort and a curse.

Lee grabbed a stack of papers and settled on the couch. “No,” he said. “Not tonight.”

---------------------

You rubbed a hand over your face. Some hours had passed since you’d invited Lee to stay. Though he didn’t look any worse for wear, you were quickly losing steam. Your mind had long lost its focus for reports. Instead, you studied Lee’s face in the gloom, admiring the perfect symmetry of his features. He was so beautiful.

You shifted on the couch. You’d migrated here a while ago with a blanket thrown over your outstretched legs. Your bare foot rested against Lee’s thigh, though neither of you acknowledged it. Sighing, you tossed the report to the ground. Your vision was so bleary you could barely make out the words anymore. Only one question drifted in your mind, still coherent after the delirium of six cups of coffee and no sleep.

“Why didn’t you fight back?” you whispered in the semi-darkness. “Why did you let some asshole attack you?”

Lee didn’t look at you. He was silent for so long you didn’t think he’d answer at all. “Because,” he said finally. “I didn’t want you to get into trouble, Commandant. Misconduct from me reflects poorly on you. I’m not going to disgrace you.”

You chuckled. “I think I would have been rather proud.”

“That’s because you’re reckless,” he said dryly.

“Guilty as charged.”

Several long moments passed. Your eyes drifted shut. “Sleep,” Lee said. “I’ll finish up.”

You were already half gone, free-falling towards an ocean as black as night.

You could have sworn something soft brushed against your temple.

But perhaps it was just a dream.

By saying its misogynitics srsly 💀. There's alot fem reader content out there, smut, angst, fluff you name it. Not to point out those post w/o gender specific reader? Its mostly fem, so why protest to a small male & gn reader blog when there's so many big and small fem reader blog out there.

(Anw um *cough* wanna be moots ya sounr like a cool person 😎)

Hello? Why we're you so rude to that anon? She was just trying to prove a point... :/

cock... :/ balls... :/ testicles...:/

—   ( SUMMER RAIN )

˚ SUMMARY. two unlikely students are paired together for a documentary — but sometimes love finds us in peculiar ways ( aka an our beloved summer au. or also in other words high school unlikely match / rival au )

˚ FEATURING. ayato, albedo, childe, kaeya, thoma, xiao x gn! reader

˚ WARNINGS. mentions of “pretty” in albedo’s. mild swearing. usage of mx

˚ LINKS. masterlist

˚ NOTES. im posting this even though it technically isnt valentines day yet for me but by the time i post this tmrw it wont be valentines for most people so … enjoy !! all fluff :D

( interlude )

“a documentary,” you say, slowly.

“yes,” the cameraman says. “it’s only for a month. we’re pairing up the [pair] and we’ll basically filming you throughout the month. just pretend we aren’t there — it’s just a documentary about youth life, and you just go on about your day-to-day lives.”

you hesitate. this sounds like a mistake.

it’s one month, a voice in your head whispers. you can do one month, can’t you?

you clear your throat. “so who’s the other person going to be?”

ayato: most proper and least proper

kamisato ayato has a rep around inazuma high and it isn’t necessarily a bad one

the only thing you know about him is that his family practically runs the town

and apparently, an asshole

he has a rep for being closed off – you never see him hang out with anyone other than his sister and thoma. and you’re on good terms with thoma - but you’ve never talked to ayato

you’ve never had reason to; you’re never in the same class as him, and he always seemingly disappears every time you approach thoma

stuck up ass, is basically what you’ve always thought of him; he often had an air to him that said he’s too good for everyone

you think he looks down on you because you’re not as prestigious as he is - he’s proper, he comes from a rich family. he probably doesn’t even need the money from the documentary

still, at first, in the documentary, you try to be friends with him.

it goes horribly wrong.

on the first day of the documentary, you buy yourself a coffee at the local coffee shop. and you end up buying him one as well

however, when you try to give it to him, you end up tripping it and spilling it all over his business project that he’s stayed up all night to work on

there’s a beat of absolute silence as he slowly looks up to stare at you. you swear his eyes are burning holes into your head

and then he slowly looks back down, grabbing his water bottle, unscrewing the top lid, presumably to take a drink.

“sorry” you say, hurriedly. “i was trying to give you coffee, because i know you always stay up-”

he dumps the water over your head

a small shriek gets stuck in your throat, as you get soaked from head to toe

“i said sorry,” you say. your voice isn’t angry, still in shock. but the anger rises in your chest all the same

“oh.” he looks back down at his project. his voice is nothing short of sarcastic. “sorry.”

and then, at that moment, you decide that you hate this kid. with a burning passion

and of course he never gets into trouble because nobody would ever suspect ayato of doing something bad

the only person who sympathizes with you is thoma who just shrugs with a crooked grin and says “he’s sly. there’s a reason he’s never gotten caught.”

you’re forced to sit in the same classes, next to each other, for the sake of the documentary

but even through the filming, you’ve never been afraid to tell the camera how much you dislike ayato

“oh things i hate?” you ask, staring at the camera. “kamisato ayato.”

he doesn’t turn his head to you but you can see his scowl all the same. “funny, i was going to say the same.”

your arguments are equivalent to a child’s argument — often times, when arguments spark, they’re accidents like the coffee; it only gives him more fuel to dislike you, and you to dislike him

once, he decides to give you coffee with a “sorry :(“ sticky note attached to it

and like the fool you are, you decide to drink it

he watches from outside the door, not being able to resist a smirk

salt floods your taste buds, but instead of spitting it out, you make eye contact with him in the door and continue to down the entire thing

ayato also basically has this claim to a parking spot in the school - it’s not technically his, but everyone’s agreed it’s ayato’s spot

you stole it as soon as you could

it becomes a competition on who can get to school first to steal the spot. and that leads to both of you being to school two hours earlier

which means you actually spend a lot of time together ! and soon, your dislike for him, melts into something softer

you like spending time with him. in fact, you look forward to it

and you don’t miss how his smiles become fond - sometimes, when you’re on the verge of falling asleep in class, you see him smile softly as you rest your head on his shoulders

or sometimes, when you wake up, you just find his jacket over your shoulders

and there’s this one time when someone else makes an off hand comment about your clumsiness

the next day, the kid doesn’t show up to school. and when he shows up again, his face is bright red and his hair has been dyed green

when you turn to ayato, he just gives you his signature smirk with a shrug. “i don’t get caught.”

you two end up terrorizing your teachers. they never figure out who has been leaving alarm clocks around the building to disturb class, and ayato always turns to you with a fond smile

“how do i feel about y/n now?” he breaks into a soft smile. “i love them — i couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime. but don’t tell them i said that. i will never hear the end of it.”

albedo: smart & smart

you’ve never talked to albedo before this - but you’ve noticed him from afar

you’re both top of your class - both of you competing for number one spot

he’s never had many feelings towards you, other than the fact that you’re smart. he notices your name on the top scorers of exams, but knows nothing of you other than that

you never see albedo hang out with anyone - he has a few people he talks to, but none that he ever seems to be friends with

and it’s not for a lack of trying either - you ask kaeya about him once, wanting to get an idea of who albedo was

and kaeya just says “albedo — a strange one. he’s nice. but don’t interrupt him while he’s working. or ask him to hang out. he will always say no. it’s quite embarrassing.”

but when you talk to albedo, he’s actually quite nice! he’s never been anything but kind to you

you work together on a lab, and he’s always been patient with you. you’re able to bounce ideas off each other, and you’ve never worked with someone better

the rivalry doesn’t kick in until the second day. and then oh boy

but you also work at a daycare after school hours — and there, you take care of a child named klee

and you love klee ! klee’s the best !

sometimes, you help klee make these little water bombs as pranks to help her terrorize this “big bad brother” she complains about in daycare

and you share all your knowledge with her

and then, one day, when klee decides to set off her bombs on “big bad brother” albedo asks klee where she learned to make these new kind of bombs

klee — the absolute icon she is — isn’t able to keep a secret. “mx y/n helped me,” she says, sheepishly, swinging back and forth

albedo stops. “y/n l/n?”

klee shrugs. “i think. they says they’re your age. i like mx y/n more than you. they let me go fish blasting!”

so the next day, albedo, naturally comes to ask if you work in a daycare and you know klee

“yeah, i know klee.” you chuckle, thinking about her. “the other day, i helped her make mini water bombs — not a dangerous kind, don’t worry — to prank her brother. she’s amazing.”

he gives you a deadpan look. “klee’s my sister.”

oh. oh shit.

“and by the way,” he says, “i make better water bombs than you.”

and if to prove it, the next day, you find a container on your desk. and when you open it, water sprays in your face

and next to you, albedo is chuckling

oh it is so on.

you do most of your pranks through klee, bribing her to prank albedo. and albedo does the same

you both compete to be klee’s favorite — and whenever albedo comes pick klee up, you both have to tone down on the swearing

but you two are never mean to each other - it’s always been fun little pranks, with no mean intentions behind it, something you both know

“how do you feel about albedo?” the cameramen ask you, once, for the documentary.

“albedo?” the cameras don’t miss the small smile that spreads across your face. “he’s kind. a little closed off, but an absolute menace.”

but even though your words don’t say the whole truth, the cameras catch it

the cameras catch every time when you’re working late in the lab and he brings snacks for you

or every time either of you don’t understand something, you’re always patient, while explaining it to the other

or sometimes, during class, if you’ve pulled an all nighter, he’ll let you rest on his shoulder as he takes a little more notes as usual that way you’ll be caught up in class

and one day, when you’re taking of klee, she tells you

“my brother says he likes you.” she grins from ear to ear. “he says you’re very pretty.”

needless to say, you played a clip of your documentary at the wedding

“how do i feel about y/n?” albedo hums. “don’t tell them i said this, but i’m happy klee likes them. i want to make them apart of our family.”

more undercut !

Keep reading

Relationship hcs for Eliza, Filla, Ms. Fortune, Parasoul, and Valentine?

Reader is gender neutral

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Swearing, blood mention, violence mention, slight(??) spoilers for those who dont know the girls’ lore

| Filia |

- Eddie and Venom whomst

- Legit, this is literally like what would happen if you dated Eddie and Venom except they’re from a shounen horror anime. Get used to Samson butting in whenever you and Filia we’re supposed to go on dates for just the two of you. It slowly became bearable, with Samson having to lessen his quips about everything and Filia having to be less angry to Samson. It was awkward at first, most other times frustrating, but things worked out in the end.

- She’s a high schooler, so expect majority of your dates to consist of visiting cute little cafes or diners that she spots. Most of them were for real cheap that her wallet is happy of despite her lineage and the aesthetics of the cafes were so cute that it’s a win-win. Even Samson wasn’t complaining about how the food tastes.

- Such a shy girl when she’s with her partner. Samson just loves it when his host acts so flustered towards her mate that it gives him prime opportunity to use Filia’s hair to leave teasing touches; when you two are hugging, he pinches Filia’s waist just so she can hug tighter. You might get a laugh out of it but Filia can’t help but pout at Samson for being a jerk.

- She thinks that kissing you on the areas closest to your lips are pretty daring so she makes it a mission to kiss the entirety of your face except your lips. You find this cute, but there’s nothing that Filia can stop when you’re the one who starts initiating small pecks on her lips.

| Eliza |

- This… person… is a fickle thing. She’s survived centuries of deceptions and hidden deals that having a significant other in her many different lives is a joke that she can laugh over with craft beer.

- She won’t be taking this relationship seriously as regular couples. As much as it stings, she’s already abandoned her heart a long time ago. She and Sekhmet agreed on this. Nothing and no one will ever weave their lives into theirs as intimately as they are. Maybe a bit of casual dates here and there, a bit of night stands, some drinks to go around, but never going so far as to dealing with emotions.

- So many inside jokes about Egyptian mythology, it’s lowkey getting annoying. You didn’t peg Eliza to be a myth junkie but maybe it was the influence of Sekhmet. Not a minute goes by without Eliza having to say a joke about how your blood appeases Sekhmet whenever you two go at it.

- She likes it when you watch her sing in Bastet’s Den. Eliza gets a little pump in her system and accidentally shows the excitement in her singing. It’s not noticeable by regular people but Albus and Horace notice the immediate difference.

- Eliza’s favorite thing to do with you is chill with her in her private bath in the Bath of Tefnut. With a can of beer in hand, soft music playing on the radio, with an arm wrapped around your waist… it’s the perfect evening for her. So long as there’s no disrupting little blood banks meowing or an annoying little parasite complaining, there’s nothing that can ruin this evening.

| Ms. Fortune |

- Whether you’re into it or not, she will vehemently use so many puns.

- Friend or lover, she’s always up and in your face like a regular cat. There’s not a single body part of her that isn’t touching you, be it her hands or her head resting on your lap as her body drapes over your back. You should honestly get used to her touch-starved antics.

- Loves to prank you by cutting off her limbs and pretend she accidentally amputated herself. It also doesn’t help that her blood can turn into yarn. The term ‘tangled in your own limbs’ takes on a more literal meaning as you get wrapped up in her limbs as she nibbles your neck as you sigh once more at your predicament. Honestly you don’t know who could be more clingy, her or an actual cat.

- She’s always roughing it up against Medici scum so you’re her private nurse. And in payment, it’s either you listen to her cattastic puns about you being such an angel or hugs and kisses. It’s sometimes both. You can’t really stay mad at her cracking jokes but still… someday something’s going to happen to that Lifestone inside of her.

- Dates usually go inside Little Innsmouth where Lilith is your personal waitress. Sometimes-or a lot of times-Ms. Fortune wears a little bowtie on her neck just to feel extra fancy when all that it is you two are doing is eating hot pot under a dingy ceiling lamp. It’s the thought that counts though, as you and she tell each other what transpired in your lives and what you want in the future.

| Parasoul |

- Her kingdom comes first. You and Umbrella are second.

- Don’t take it personally. Parasoul prioritizes her kingdom’s safety above all else. She would never permit another incident happen like with her mother. As much as a stubborn person as she is, it was Umbrella who had to snap sense into her sister that she has another loved one to talk to.

- I’m not saying you should abuse the fact that Parasoul is loaded… she’s doing my job for me actually. She doesn’t hesitate to let you know that she can literally buy anything for you if you just ask. She really likes to spoil if that wasn’t obvious.

- Her version of dates are training regimens in the palace. She can’t be too careful with the crimes today, so she takes up her time to train you with your weapon of choice to defend yourself. It’s like taking a weight off her shoulders when she knows that you’re capable of taking care of yourself.

- Loves to cherish the time you, her, and Umbrella share together. Even mundane ice cream dates where the Black Egrets are surveying the area for threats. Parasoul greatly enjoys dates like this because she feels as though this is close to a real family outing. She can forget about her burdens as she stares at you and Umbrella with absolute adoration.

| Valentine |

- First off: how the fuck.

- Valentine… hoo boy. This woman experienced way more pain than anyone else here (I don’t count Eliza bc this is some cold dead bitch) so for her having a significant other is so far off.

- She can’t give you normal dates. With her personal mission and her job at Lab Zero and everything, she can’t really spend time with you unless you were an assistant at Lab Zero as well. Maybe an unfortunate soul who became an experiment to a Parasite or maybe a human slave brought in by Brain Drain himself. She could only provide small talk and some pieces of moderately expensive dark chocolate as a “date”.

- Either way, she keeps her distance to everybody, especially you. The untimely demise of The Last Hope group still haunts her to this day, and nothing will ever stop her goal. She still keeps you in mind, however, as she gets you little gifts that reminds her of you. Surprisingly isn’t the type to joke about giving you an actual heart when it’s you.

- Remember when I said she keeps you in mind? She means it. Just like in her origin story, she keeps all of her comrades weapons and uses them all the time. She memorizes your fighting style and uses it to her advantage. Even if you don’t fight, she has a semblance of you strapped to her clothes, like maybe a hairpin or a brooch. Valentine keeps all things precious in her heart, and you’re one of them.

A LIFETIME IN REPEAT / kamisato ayato ( genshin impact ) ( WHAT WILL SURVIVE OF US IS LOVE ) a/n: reincarnation au. quote by philip larkin. title from eden - circles. for @yelans spring serenades event w/ the theme being rebirth. thank you for arranging this !!

i. under the cherry blossoms lies love eternal, wistful and tranquil in existence. under the cherry blossoms there is the blooming of flowers in spring reborn, the sun brilliant in her ways as she blesses the earth with warmth once more.

under the cherry blossoms is a promise of tomorrow in the way ayato holds you, bodies pressed closely together, his hands resting on your hips. you sway together, side to side, in temporary respite ; the quickening and slowing of time blurs -- and it doesn't make sense, but it does : the way you could find sanctuary in his arms forever, the way it’s over in the blink of an eye and you find yourselves missing each other all the more.

“relax, love.”

ayato whispers the words softly into your ear and laughs when you tense in response. your cheeks heat up, but you tell yourself it’s from the weather and leave it at that. you’ve never gotten used to his endearing terms and you’re sure he plays it to his advantage.

“i don’t slow dance-- and when were you so romantic, anyway?”

“i’ve always been a romantic at heart,” comes the matter-of-fact answer, though you sense underlying amusement in it, “now, relax. you can always lean on me.”

your lips part with the intention of a ( hopefully ) composed reply, but his smile is all too gentle, so the words fade into oblivion. instead, there is a feeling of happiness that dwells deep within the heart. you let out a sigh of defeat, pretend you didn’t hear him chuckle, wrap your arms around his neck, and lean your head against his chest.

“the flowers are beautiful this season.” you half-heartedly murmur, face still ablaze as you seek distraction elsewhere. ayato knows this, kisses you on the head in quiet comfort. you feel him smile against your skin and you do not think you will ever get tired of the sensation.

“yes, they are.” he says, and somewhere in the tidal waves of the soul, there is a bittersweetness that invokes itself in the thought of a future known. “they are beautiful.”

( under the cherry blossoms is serenity and devotion and everything birthed from love. under the cherry blossoms there are lovers who will grow old and gray together, hand in hand.

under the cherry blossoms, in yet another spring, will lie love eternal after days long passed. in the roots of tomorrow, it will be found again. always again. )

ii. the colors blur, window to window, view by view. the subway hums, floods itself with life as passengers travel to and from, and here you are, gaze distant, vacant. waiting. you live this life now and it’s all you know. it feels weird, empty-- but you think that’s kinda how it goes nowadays : learn what it means to be an adult, or rather, function as one, have a crisis, think you’re taking all the wrong twists & turns, and learn to fake it like everyone else.

it is exhausting. you are exhausted.

you sigh, discontentment transparent on your visage. the subway buzzes again, but all the sounds twist into background noise, automatically blocked out from your senses. you fail to notice the stranger that appears before you until he gets a little too close for comfort-- and that’s when you’re suddenly all too aware of how crowded it is. you try to step back, take maybe half a step, really, and that hardly does much, but he senses your discomfort and offers a wry, apologetic smile.

you know that smile, is your immediate thought, but you don’t get to reflect on it too much before someone shoves him into you. he wraps an arm around you, staggers for a moment before finding stability, and here you are, one hand on his shoulder and the other desperately hanging onto the overhead handle.

“i deeply apologize.” are the first words you hear, and there is something about his voice that soothes the anxiety that brews in your chest. “are you hurt?”

your breath hitches in your throat. your eyes sting suddenly and your vision goes unclear, and that stupid, stupid, lump in your throat is too noticeable and bothersome. this is ridiculous and dramatic, you joke to yourself, and you want to find rationale, reason-- something -- to explain this whirlwind of emotions that sweeps you off your feet.

you nod because that’s all you really can do; you want to say sorry when you see concern adorn his features, but he smiles, he smiles and you’ve seen it before, somehow, and you think you are crying now.

“‘m okay.” you whisper. “i’m okay. thank you.”

“you’re welcome.”

the subway hums again. longing fills your heart. you want to know why.

the stranger clears his throat, lets go of you, and you stand before each other in silence.

“my name is ayato.” he tells you. he offers you a handkerchief. “i believe we’ve met before.”

tears trail down your face. it is three in the afternoon. you are on the subway with a stranger. you do not remember something you should.

“i don’t remember you.”

ayato’s smile almost falters, but he is used to masking such emotions, so he maintains it ever so perfectly, hoping that you will not feel guilt for something that is not in your control.

( you don’t remember him. that’s okay, he thinks. he will wait for you until the end of time. it’s okay, even if it hurts. )

iii. with an aching heart made of uncertainty, you fall asleep to peaceful dreams that night. it takes place in a regal estate, splendid and grand in its decor. you wonder how you find yourself in such a setting. it’s busy-- chaotic and calm at the same time, moving constantly at a steady pace as voices and faces flood the halls. you recognize these voices, hear yourself among them.

the faces are blurred. all of them.

this is where you belong. these are days you’ve experienced before ; nostalgia lines itself in the hollows of your ribs, wraps its knowing around your lungs. you have lived and breathed this life.

you can’t remember.

you wake up. the ache grows deeper, burrows itself in fragile heartstrings. you fall back asleep, vision engulfed in pink hues of cherry blossoms and ayato’s name lingering on your tongue.

iv. you don’t remember anything, not really. you know you dreamt of something strange and significant and it bothers you, horribly so-- but these things will come in time, you suppose. so you move on with your day, hope you can find solace in falling back to your daily routine.

you enter the cafe, inhaling deeply when the aroma of coffee overloads your senses. there’s comfort to be found in the little things, you remind yourself, ordering your regular drink. it’s not long before you’ve settled into the corner of the cafe, set up your laptop and stationary. your focus goes into your work for an hour or two-- maybe longer-- until you see a familiar face before you again.

“what a coincidence.” ayato muses, curiosity in purple eyes. “i did not expect to see you here.”

you stare at each other in silence for a moment-- you, more so out of shock, ayato, truthfully, in amusement at such a reaction to his presence.

“you must have missed me, finding me already.” comes your response, a forced lightheartedness in your voice meant to disperse the tension in your body.

“i did, in fact. may i sit with you?”

you almost want to think he’s joking with you, but the way he looks at you is too tender, too knowing, and somehow, it breaks your heart.

( ayato spends hours with you at that cafe. it feels like home, feels right. feels like something is missing and it shouldn’t be. )

v. you don’t ask ayato what he meant back then, where he recognized you or how he recognized you. you didn’t ask when you first met on the subway, didn’t ask at the coffee shop, didn’t ask during any single encounter you’ve had in these past few months.

you are frightened of the unknown, and perhaps you are a coward for that.

( because you want to know, but there’s something in the nagging feeling you carry that makes you want to run away from all of this. but you don’t because you know you shouldn’t. because in all the time you have spent with him since that fated meeting, maybe there is a place in your heart for him that grows larger and larger and maybe that scares you. )

you walk along the quiet streets, side by side with ayato. the storm has long passed, puddles of water reflecting gloomy skies. it is nearing the end of fall but the weather does not let up, always unpredictable in its path.

“i enjoy the rain when i am aware of its incoming presence.” ayato mumbles, gaze cast upwards at the clouds.

“you don’t like getting caught up in it and getting your beautiful hair ruined?”

“i don’t.” he laughs at your teasing tone. “you find my hair beautiful?”

“i do.”

“how generous of you.” he hums, and there’s an extra little skip in his step now. “i find you beautiful, as well.”

your face gets hot. how embarrassing.

“so romantic.” you mumble, clearing your throat. you can’t help but feel familiarity in such exchanges. “what’s your favorite season, anyway?”

ayato’s gait comes to a standstill. you pause, watch as a sorrowful and hopeful smile rests on the curve of his lips. he glances up at the sky once more before he looks at you, his hand brushing against the back of yours.

“i have always been fond of spring.”

“why’s that?”

you don’t move your hand away. he notices this, remains cautious, gentle, and laces his fingers with yours. it’s warm, comforting.

“it reminds me of someone i love.”

you freeze, see the way ayato looks at you-- like there’s something more, like he has known you in a life past-- and you want to speak, but nothing can register or come to mind.

the rain pours again, but neither of you move.

“you told me that we’ve met before.” your voice quivers. “so why don’t i remember you? i know you. i dreamt about you once, i think. i don’t know. why don’t i know? where have we met? what do you know?”

panic arises with each word spoken. you’re crying again, just like you did the first time you met. you feel like an idiot, your chest tightening with anxiety. ayato squeezes your hand. it would be so easy to tell you everything, to bring the memories back all at once. but such things take time, he kindly reminds himself, so he will wait until it all comes back.

“you’re not going to tell me.” you whisper. he shakes his head, places an umbrella over your heads. “then tell me this: the person you love-- is it me? and did i love you once, before?”

ayato smiles, just as he always does, and the tears run rampant.

( you both know the answer already. you know this, don’t you? )

vi. you dream again that night. it’s a different dream, but almost the same-- the hustle and bustle surrounds you, overwhelms you. you’re not entirely familiar with this environment yet. you only know some of the voices-- a bright, cheerful one that always seems to bring a smile to your face. a soothing one that always brings reassurance. you hear a bark and playful laughter, and in your heart there is relief.

you’ve done this before.

“daydreaming again?”

you recognize that voice. you are quick to turn on your heel, though reluctance fills the corners of your mind. you are afraid the faces will be hidden again, obscure just like last time, but they are not.

ayato stands before you, almost entirely the same with exception of attire. maybe you are daydreaming-- this is a dream, after all, and the boundaries between what is real and what is not are too chaotic to distinguish. but that doesn’t stop you from hoping, from thinking this could be what you were trying to remember after all. in the realization of such, you cry again. you cry again and again because you hope that this is it, that it’s not just a dream, that you’ve finally come to understand ayato’s words and what that emptiness meant.

“what is it? what’s wrong?” ayato asks, dabbing the tears away with a handkerchief. you know that one, recall it from the subway.

“nothing’s wrong.” you laugh in disbelief, shake your head as his thumb grazes over your cheek. “i’m okay. we’re okay.”

( you wake up the next morning. you remember it all. )

vii. it is spring now. you have not seen him in a long while-- perhaps out of avoidance or a clash in schedules, neither of you are sure. you weren’t ready to tell him once you awoke from that dream, more so because you couldn’t comprehend it all-- thoma, ayaka, ayato--

you spent a lifetime with him before. you were married to him and you loved him. you danced under the cherry blossoms on the first day of spring and you told him you didn’t slow dance, that you weren’t good at it, but he didn’t care, as long as he could hold you close.

you sit on the park bench with him now, quiet. children play in the distance, their laughter filling the silence that rests heavily in the air. your hands wring nervously in your lap, words unspoken lodged in your throat. you want to tell him, but you don’t know how. you want to tell him that you know, and you’re almost sure he knows this, too.

“have you been well? it’s been awhile.”

he starts off slowly, treads carefully on thin ice.

“i’ve been...thinking. i dreamt about you again.”

“oh?”

“i cried a lot in the dream.”

“you do that often in reality, too.”

you laugh for the first time that day, feeling your body relax against the bench. your hand rests at your side now, brushes against ayato’s. wanting. waiting. hoping.

the cherry blossoms are in bloom now, the wind casting the petals along the sky. they fall gently, gracefully, and it reminds you both of that day.

they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” ayato asks, taking note of the closed distance between you two. he swallows hard, curious as to why he hesitates now- because maybe you truly do remember now, and maybe this is the moment he’s been waiting for all this time-- the reunion of two lovers. his hand finds yours. you do not pull away.

“they always have been.” you smile faintly, intertwining your fingers. you ignore the way your voice trembles and you hope he does, too. you inhale deeply, close your eyes. “can i lean on you, ayato?”

you know. you have to, he thinks, and he cannot help the surprise that appears in purple hues. you look at him, countenance riddled with apprehension, and there’s that familiar curl of the lips you have seen many times before. he nods in confirmation, so you rest your head on his shoulder.

pink petals fall onto your laps-- delicate, loved, and seen.

“i remember you.” you whisper. the wind almost drowns out the words, but his grip on your hand tightens. “i remember our life back then-- being married, spending time in the garden when it was the beginning of spring. i-- i took so long ayato. i took so long to remember you.”

in your voice there is regret, but in his eyes there is understanding. you want to apologize, but you know he would tell you there is no need for such things.

“i knew you would, in time. i would have waited for you, nonetheless.”

ah. you’re going to start crying again. you laugh when he pulls out that handkerchief again, but when the tears come, he kisses them away ever so gently before murmuring words of comfort. his arms wrap around you, hold reassuring and filled with ardor.

“i missed you.” you whisper against his lips, and how lovely it is to feel him smile against them once more. “i love you.”

“i love you, too.” he tells you, once, twice, a million times-- as many as he needs to until it is known. “i will love and find you in every lifetime, my love.”

( under the cherry blossoms is rebirth and reinvigoration of life. under the cherry blossoms, there is love lost and love found.

under the cherry blossoms, there is you and the one you love, reunited at last. )

Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Notes: just a small something since he came home. Gender-neutral terms, blood & injury mention, protective boyf Ayato✨

Cornered, you considered your options. Run and risk the two men chasing you? Fight back and risk a black eye at the least, all while your lover’s jacket turned dirty with your blood?

You really had no way out, pressing yourself impossibly closer into the alleyway as though it were possible for the wall to swallow you and transport you elsewhere. To think all this happened over a misunderstanding.

“You scum, wearing the Commissioner’s coat like that.”

You opened your mouth to protest, a hoarse and cracked sound pleading for a break. “No, I - “

The man puffed out his cheeks, an ugly red colour popping through his face in profound anger. “Unless you’re some whore who ran off indecently with the Commisioner, threatening to tear down his reputation!”

The man accompanying him scoffed, adding in another sentence before you could get a word in. “So which is it, are you a filthy thief or have you seduced our honourable Yashiro Commisioner?”

You sigh. The men were harassing you over borrowing Ayato’s coat to keep you warm from the cooling winds. You only wanted to run your errands around Hanamizaka in peace, not be cornered and threatened for something clearly trivial.

“Ah, is there a problem here?”

Thank Narukami. Your shoulders immediately relaxed upon hearing the familiar cadence of your boyfriend as he directed the men’s attention to him.

“They think I stole your coat!” You called over the men, seeing the silent confusion written on Ayato’s face.

The two men’s eyes widened comically as they looked at one another and shook their heads. “Commissioner! We were simply looking out for you! We aren’t sure what they were doing parading around in your - “

Ayato held a hand in the air to stop them from continuing. Clearly, these scoundrels held no respect or foresight whatsoever.

“It appears to me that you’ve unnecessarily cornered my partner,” Ayato motioned to your form huddled against the wall, still shaken but less scared than before, “surely the two of you can see that I am not in my coat now, yes? I fail to see why any of this is worth scaring them.”

“Lord Kamisato, we - “

“A clear oversight on my part. It seems that I haven’t done my duty as well as I would have liked.”

Ayato walks past the two men, stance and posture upright, determined, graceful. He approached you and carefully leans to capture your chin between his fingers, tilting it ever so slightly to meld his lips lovingly against your own.

Pulling back slowly and softly, a satisfied hum reverberating upon seeing your shocked and confused expression and sensing the two men still present behind him, Ayato gives them a pointed look.

“My duty is to protect those closest to me. If either of you approach them again, it will be your last.”

“You can’t possibly threaten us, that wouldn’t be a good look for you, Commissioner - “

“Ah,” Ayato grinned, “the two of you look familiar. I believe… yes. You two have committed numerous acts against the Tri-Commission in the past through petty games - namely tax evasion. I protect Inazuma and therefore, you two have disrespected the Raiden Shogun by neglecting your citizen’s duty. You understand the consequences of directly harming a Tri-Commission member,” he motions to you, as you were his and thus affiliated with the Yashiro Commision, “Perhaps that is enough cause to, eloquently put, stay quiet?”

That was enough to send the two into a flurry of apologies, profusely bowing before they ran out of the alleyway with their tails beneath their legs.

Ayato gave a soft smile, turning back to you and trapping you between the wall and him with his arm next to your head.

“Now, where were we?”

Don’t trust people who aren’t out of breath by walking up the stairs in their school

as much as i love best dad diluc, im also a believer of unintentionally horrible dad diluc troupe. tonight, i choose violence. didn't do a proper post format for this one because it's just my brainrots a very long one lmao and shit but anyways

tw: horrible parenting, dark content, neglect, unintentional self-harm, abduction, torture (mentioned but not really written in detail), hurt-comfort but mostly hurt ackdjf

words: 2,022 (tf do you mean my brainrot is longer than my usual fics :<??)

single dad diluc who didn't mean to neglect you, his newborn, because he was mourning for his wife, whom he lost while she was giving birth.

single dad diluc who promised her that he'll take good care of you because that was what she'd want. giving you everything was what they both wanted.

single dad diluc who kept repeating to himself that he needs to be strong for the both of you and all he wants is the best for you.

single dad diluc who almost dropped you because you look too much like your mother. the same chubby cheeks, the same eyelashes, the same scrunch of your nose, everything. he almost wanted to look away because all he can see is her and it keeps breaking his poor broken heart. seeing you is a reminder that he had lost her. little does he know, he had lost you too.

single dad diluc who was doing fine at first. he goes to your crib every night, bottle feeds you, does everything perfectly. except he can't look at you for longer than he needs to. he couldn't hold you for more than a few hours. couldn't let you sleep in his arms because he's restless and his continuous movement stirs you awake every time. couldn't hug you to his chest whenever it gets particularly cold, instead he sits in a chair beside your crib, letting his pyro vision do the work. couldn't stay guarding you for too long because his work starts to pile up and the abyss won't kill themselves up. couldn't dote on you the way he wanted to. couldn't push himself to go to you faster when you start crying.

single dad diluc who almost dropped to his knees the moment you open your eyes and he sees the same shade of red. it reminds him that his wife is dead because of him. because what he could give her wasn't enough to keep her alive. if he had been extra careful with her pregnancy, maybe she'd still be alive.

single dad diluc who cursed himself for thinking that she'd still be alive if she didn't give birth to you, if he had chosen to save her instead of you. he runs to the bathroom, vomiting his words literally and figuratively. he digs his nails into the palm of his hand as punishment, shaking his head and shutting his eyes to keep his tears at bay. he repeats to himself that she'd hate him for even thinking of such a thing. heck, hate is too small of a word for what she'd do to him if she finds out that he even thought about that. he swears to himself that if he ever thought about it for a second time that he'd burn himself alive.

single dad diluc slowly starts to leave the responsibility of taking of you to the maids. in some way, he's unaware that the reason he did this is because he didn't want to hurt the both of you further. he didn't want to look at you and think of the worst things a parent would think of their child. you don't deserve any of his anger, so instead of forcing himself upon you, he subconsciously avoids being around you too much.

single dad diluc who didn't get to hear your first words or see your first steps. his eyes widen when he faintly hears your voice in the hallway, wondering when you started to learn how to speak. he watches you play in the vineyard from the window of his office, unaware of the slight clench of his fist whenever you trip or hurt yourself.

single dad diluc who doesn't know that you don't look at him as your dad but just someone who provides you with everything you need. he was never there for you, so he failed to build a connection with you. he's not aware that his presence brings you uneasiness and suddenly you're standing straight and looking right at the ground. you don't look like a child with an indifferent look on your face. anyone can see the tension between the two of you. yet he still doesn't look your way even as he speaks to you about your studies and your day. your fingers dig into your palm, keeping yourself from bursting into tears because all you can see is a stranger who was supposed to be your dad, but he looks nothing like the fathers you see in the city. when he turns away from you to goes back to his office, you silently pray to barbatos, "please, look at me like i actually exist for once." but he doesn't. you let adelinde guide your trembling form into your room, where your pillow catches all the tears you shed.

single dad diluc who barely knows anything about you and feels too ashamed to face you, so he sends you gifts on your birthdays and holidays through adelinde. most of the things he buys aren't exactly what you're interested in, but you learned to not care. at some point, you realize that he'll never look at you for more than a minute. but only because you've never caught him longingly staring at you, wondering when you started to grow up so fast. he sees so much of your mother in you and it's at that moment he realizes how distant he had been from you. he wants to talk to you, to be there for you, but he just couldn't push himself to do so when you don't even look interested. only because he wasn't there when you cried for your dad to save you from a nightmare and never looked at you long enough to see the small hand that was reaching to hold his.

single dad diluc who envies the close bond between you and your uncle kaeya. he wants to be able to approach you like that, but he knows it's not going to be that easy. but he's relieved to know that you're at least getting along with kaeya, the only other family you have.

single dad diluc who tries to follow kaeya's advice when trying to talk to you, but fails miserably and all he ends up doing is making things awkward.

single dad diluc who starts to wonder when you started to go out for so long. every morning, he'd see you venture out the winery by yourself and come home a little later after the sun sets. sometimes, he'd see you in his nightly patrols, fiery eyes making sure you get home safely. sometimes, he has to physically restrain himself from being all over you when he sees the small cuts on your arms and instead tells adelinde to tend to you quickly.

single dad diluc who assumes that you've been getting into ridiculous trouble and that's why you have so many wounds. little does he know, that you've been getting all these wounds from abyss and humans alike, all that have a vendetta against him. but you sealed your lips shut, you didn't want to bother him when he's already too busy at work. instead, you roll your eyes like a brat and brushed his words away, making up lies about teaching a bully a lesson. this irks him more and he questions where you learned how to be so ill-mannered, but he never gets an answer other than your door slamming shut. he never gets to see how you slide down to the floor, silent tears running down your cheeks and your eyes void of any light from exhaustion. you try to distract yourself, unconsciously digging your nails into your thighs until you hiss from pain. if diluc were to see this, he'd see himself when he was young, doing the same thing to get a hold of himself when things become overwhelming.

single dad diluc who accidentally raised his voice when the two of you got into an argument about your sudden disappearances, the amount of wounds on your person and your rebellious behavior. he'd come to regret accusing you of ridiculous things instead of calmly asking where you've been, because the next thing he knows you're stomping your way out of the house, claiming that you don't need his lectures and that you're used to doing things by yourselves. he desperately wants to chase after you, sit you down and tend to your wounds, but your words rendered him frozen. do you really not need him? are you going to leave him once you're of age? he won't be surprised if you did, but the way that you said that so easily makes his heart bleed. he really fucked up, didn't he? all the promises of taking good care of you and giving you the best, he's broken all of them. he's such a fucking terrible father.

single dad diluc who tries to comfort himself by saying that you're just staying at kaeya's. you always go to kaeya's place, you've spent more than a week there before. until the man himself burst into his office with angry eyes, demanding him to get his ass off his chair and help him look for you. he stares at diluc's confused face in disbelief before explaining that you've been missing for almost a week now. suddenly, diluc's world seems black and white and everything sounds muffled. he couldn't hear the sound of his chair getting thrown back from the way he stands up immediately, but he felt the chill from kaeya's voice while telling him everything they currently know. he doesn't remember the urgency in his steps and the authority in his voice when he orders people around to get all the information he needs. all he knows is that he's getting you back no matter what, even if it costs him his life.

single dad diluc who couldn't get a wink of sleep and barely has the time to eat. the faster he works the sooner he'll get you back. he keeps searching and searching and searching, only resting when fatigue catches up to him but immediately going back to his search when he feels the slightest better. every time he closes his eyes for even a minute, all he can see is your baby face from the first time he held you.

single dad diluc who didn't know what to do with himself when they finally found you in an abandoned abyss camp, lying broken on the ground, bleeding and barely breathing. he almost didn't want the healers to touch you from fear that they'll hurt you further. he thanks the archons for having kaeya back there, telling him that you'll need the help of the healers. reluctantly, he let's them carry you away to the cathedral, where he sits at the stone bench with the heels of his hand pressed against his eyes and elbows digging into his knees. if the circumstances were different, kaeya would've teased him from the onslaught of tears coming from his eyes, but he knows now is not the time. so instead, he places a hand on diluc's shoulder, telling him that you're a strong kid, you'll get through this.

single dad diluc who's not religious, but begs barbatos in his head to save you so many times.

single dad diluc who sits by your bed, watching over you by himself and not leaving your side for more than a few minutes. he claims that he wants to take care of you himself. in truth, he just wants to be the first one to see you open your eyes again.

single dad diluc who stares at your sleeping face, seeing his wife once again and turning sour. you got hurt because of him. he almost lost you and it's his fault. everyone he loves are going to disappear and it's his fault. if only he had been more cautious. if only he had searched for you the moment you didn't come home the next day. if only he had chased you when you left the winery.

if only he had been a better father.