We Spoke All The Time After That, Until We Didn’t Anymore And You Went Away.
On June 24th at 16:53, you messaged me for the very time saying “heyo” and we made some jokes. A couple days later we somehow ended up sharing the music room together at school.
You played the guitar and I glazed my fingers over the keyboard, too nervous to play, too scared to fail you. Music moves so smooth when you play it.
We spoke all the time after that, until we didn’t anymore and you went away.
I remember the way you sang that night at your house, how you told me I was beautiful after you saw me in a way no human ever had before. How it felt believable coming out of your mouth.
It was a different kind of love this time around, you made me feel… different. I don’t know where you are now, or who you’re in love with but I hope you’re happy. And I hope that in some way, you think of me the way I think of you.
lemon boy...
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in another universe I wasn’t scared to hate you. in another universe I hurt you just as much as you hurt me.
In another universe forgetting you was easy.
But this isn’t another universe. It’s reality and I still love you even though you hurt me.
Maybe the right kind of love isn’t the one that burns like a 100 acre forest fire. Maybe it burns more like a quiet candle on a cold night, when all the electricity in the house has gone out.
The end of whiskey bottles are supposed to make me forget you, not remember you twice as hard.
should’ve known better to try and love a boy who plays the electric guitar.
I am too good at loving the villain, romanticising the devil. maybe this is why I always searched for monsters under my bed, ready to invite him in.
maybe all this time, the monster under my bed was you. I was destined for nothing other than a fire love, torture. this is why your pain does not scare me. I was born to love your darkness and fed you my light.
come on my love, I will hide under the bed with you forever.
“I never meant to hurt you”
but you did.
the most.
Kissing him felt dipping my whole tongue in sugar and strawberries
you’ve ruined 11:11 for me
some nights may seem hard to get through, but throughout the mist, when the fog feels like it’s suffocating you and you can’t seem to navigate the stars. Please remember that the sun will rise again, and it will always rise again.
now that I’ve embarrassed myself in the lime light of love. Now that I’ve put harm to myself and threatened you. Now that I’ve clawed my way of the emergency room with hands pinning me down.
Can I finally let you go. Can I forget the sound of your voice, can I stop trying to breathe how you breathe.
Is this the final act of loving you.
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