Oogh. Life Update + Brief System Ramblings
oogh. life update + brief system ramblings
i can't believe i'm starting at an alternative school tomorrow! like, holy shit. it's a new environment, for sure — it got me immensely overwhelmed to the point where i started crying. but they have therapy dogs there, a short schedule (by 2 hours, but also i don't move rooms at all during the day), and i won't be able to even bring my phone or disposable vapes onto the campus. they can tell if i do with the metal detector placed in the entrance. but this is way better for me, even if i can't smoke in the bathrooms and spam my mom's number when i get stressed. i have a million problems with public school and how it works, so i guess this is a welcome change. my mom even raised the idea of a hybrid schedule — me being home on wednesdays specifically — if i get too stressed with being in a different school. does anyone have, like. tips for accepting being newly enrolled in an american alternative school? specifying american because i don't really know if they're the same everywhere else. i don't know what my new classes would be, and if they're even the same.
i just know that if i don't go for 75% of the remaining days in the semester, i'll be automatically enrolled back in my normal high school. but i really want to give this alternative schooling thing a try. it might give me a chance to graduate
— in other news... we have a shadow milk cookie fictive (who i will be calling milk for simplicity). yeah. i swear to god he is in love with my boyfriend's pure vanilla introject, who i'll just call by aer nickname, sol — sol's pronouns are he/ae/shy, by the way. i swear to GOD milk is down bad for him. and i almost feel bad 😭 i feel like i'm making milk do this? but i'm not. bro is doing it out of his own volition. milk KNOWS of the shadowvanilla ships. he is probably a shipper himself and just doesn't want to admit it. i just feel almost guilty that poor sol is just seeing this strangely canon-compliant (or at least extremely similar to canon personality) shadow milk take a liking to ae after, in aer source memories, tormenting him. however my boyfriend told me that shy is doing his best to be impartial about it, and i commend ae for it. good job. clap clap clap clap also shadow milk fuck you. you're probably going to pop back into front or at least co-con for a brief few seconds to say some random jester shit to me like Oh My God i Get It you're a faggot and you won't admit it. shut up faggot.
More Posts from Worldwidenoises and Others
YES!!
it's TIRING not being able to fully remember your own voice, ESPECIALLY when you're in front for a long time! how do you think i FEEL when i have to look up MY OWN LINES?!
Do any other fictives ever rewatch a piece of source to "refresh" their inner voice? Or is that just a me thing
hi guys i'm redoing my blog format... just waitttt
oh my god this is so us i need to add this to our prns.cc STAT
✦﹕ good faith 4 good faith , , ,
Flag remake
Good faith for good faith is a strong ou exclusive preference for those who use good faith / contradicting identities 。
This includes mspec gays ，lesboys etc .
✦﹕ originally coined by Killjoy
╰ self - indulgent ??? ,,
[PT: good faith 4 good faith. Good faitg for good faith is a strong or exclusive preference for those who use good faith / contradicting identities
This includes mspec gays , lesboys etc. End PT]
people be calling folks zesty a lot these days, brother I need you to call me a faggot‼️‼️‼️‼️
I don't know how I haven't been following you I love you work urgshd,,,um,,,may I please request more of the Five Nights at OJ,,,, or just,,,the fnaf au,,,i eat it up its so good
yupppp, here you go!!! THANK TOU, ALOS!! IMGLIGN
so so very tired. i can't take being tired anymore... so tired of being disabled because being disabled makes me tired. i am exhausted and i wish someone else could front to get the load off of me.
i will absolutely grab one of the random nameless, bodyless fragments that are probably in my system and morph it into someone who can help me. but like i've done that before, i've created parts. they haven't fronted after their creation and it fucking sucks
please i just want someone equipped to help me with this to front. why can't i push through this constant neverending lethargy and exhaustion. i can probably almost fall asleep standing up right now, and yet i have to help mom clean up the room we share with her (because our bum ass housemates have; a, taken my room and the living room and b; don't help with anything and pretend everything is fine because they give us money for rent sometimes.)
I wish that so much of the system/did/plural content wasn’t so discourse oriented. It’s so fucking frustrating because we already feel alienated due to having this disorder, we don’t want to feel MORE alienated for.. HAVING THIS DISORDER?!?!
I can barely interact with traumagenic communities because they always make it the most toxic of comments/opinion pieces on SOMEONE ELSE’S plurality rather than discussing what it is like for them.
I feel safer in endogenic communities, but then I don’t relate at all and can’t feel any connections to that experience.
I’m so tired of useless discourse that doesn’t contribute to progress. I’m tired of people who devote their energy, time, and effort into being ugly and vicious to anyone around them. I’m fucking tired of it.
Wake up call to the system community:
These labels don’t fucking matter. They aren’t a real world problem, and they aren’t going to contribute to the world. You will always been seen as a “weirdo” who is “mentally ill and cant function properly in society” by people who don’t experience this.
No, people will not pat you on the back for fighting this fabricated war against one another. No, you will not gain anything from being violent towards other people.
You just have to sit, years down the line, realizing how fucking pointless your discourse really was. It happened in ace discourse, it happened in trans discourse, and it will happen to this stupid shit.
But go on. Go ahead and make an account just to debate and debunk someone else’s identity. I’m sure you are gonna go so far with it and gain so much validation through bullying others.
-🌹🌿
[PT: Radqueers and anti-endos do not interact!]
oh my god finally im done with that fucking intro post. its so late at night. also happy birthday to our mom. we watched migration and honestly im surprised illumination can make a good movie that isnt the mario movie
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shi/hir, 17. autistic and mentally/neurologically disordered traumaendo system. previously known as riotmarrow. do not send dono asks. do not post us to fakedisordercringe or systemscringe. zios, radqueers, and darkshippers do not interact, we don't like you.
209 posts