Bow down
Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?
Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.
Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.
Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?
i come to you with some very bad news and a long story, i guess. it's a story of financial abuse and years and year of my life in vain.
snippets of this were things ive talked about before, but theyve been intensifying recently to a point that i can't ignore them anymore. they dont blend into the background anymore. figurateively, im being poisoned, and im feeling it.
look below the cut for further details of what's happening. i wish i could've been more concise, but the ongoing situation is convoluted and its hard to wrap my whole head around it sometimes.
ive had my patreon for around 7 years, now. since the beginning, i wanted it to become sizable and to earn me a living eventually; it never did.
ive also released several games, which, again, didnt earn me a living. ive done a lot of work on projects under nda, which didnt earn me a living either.
none of it came together.
as a result of this, i have spent that past while being strongly supported through donations from people like you on tumblr and discord (thank you ;;) and... from my parents.
the latter is the crux of this. their control over my finances lends them a very strong influence over what i am allowed to do and what im not allowed to do in my life.
as a result of this, they have essentially kept me from pursuing the jobs and the life ive wanted to pursue for the past 7 years. anything i was able to come up with wasn't good enough. game development is an "expensive hobby". "an outcrys" nomination was a "costly adventure that didn't retain value". my art is "sad and depressing, no one wants to see it". video games are "not real, you need a second foot to stand on".
so ive been toiling away, trying to please their whims of what im "supposed to be doing", using precious time i couldve used entering the industry i actually wanted to enter learning skills i didnt want for jobs i didnt want, applying and being denied. for a brief while, between 2020 and 2023, i was allowed to do my game development thing, finally, because of covid and such. that grace period is now over.
they have also been strongly controlling my bodily autonomy as it relates to choices im allowed to make without having to suffer emotional damage from them, which has been paranoia-inducing to say the least.
either, i take on a job that pays whatever my parents think is enough for a living and is the "right kind of job" (with my lack of education outside of artistic fields: close to impossible); or i find a well-paying high-profile job in the video game industry (with my qualifications and the state of the industry: close to impossible); or i enter my country's disability pay system.
i have a disability diagnosis, so this would be within reach. it would also be a good deal more money than my parents are keeping me drowning with. to succeed with my application however, id need to:
close my patreon
stop developing games (not enough resources, mental or financial)
be at the whims of this country's political situation and how it relates to welfare, which is in sharp decline
i want to be free from their financial influence. i want to be able to instantly send them back their "alimony" and know that they can no longer direct my life according to any whim they may have. i want more time to be allowed to stand on my own two feet without being emotionally hurt and financially controlled - because it is nothing short of killing me.
i've started goal on ko-fi - 6000 $. i need a buffer like that in order to be able to have a bargaining chip in this arrangement, at least for half a year.
i need that money to be able to refuse the money my parents only use to have power over me and my life choices, to be able to consistently emotionally harm me and my prospects to become independent in the way i want to.
thank you for reading. even just talking about this makes me feel a little better. please help, and donate if you are able.
You can donate to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund for as little as $1.00.
There is a fee you can choose to apply to cover processing.
Which if you choose to do leaves you with a total of ~$1.35 (USD) depending on the type of card you have.
PCRF has a score of 97% on Charity Navigator.
Adults and children alike are currently dying in Palestine due to starvation. (World Health Organization Link)
The Gaza Strip is one of two places in the entire world that is categorized as Phase 5 (the highest phase) on the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification scale.
opened blender (uh oh) bc I wanted to test hand painting a fishy but realised I would prefer to do it a different way so didn't bother finishing the fins
Hi guys. Here's the bottom line: the store I've been working at the past few years is closing down soon. Until I can find a stable job somewhere else, Kofi is my only independent source of income. Which brings me to this poll:
I'm including some examples of the kind of artwork I'd be offering (lined + colored half bodies and full bodies)
a former classmate of mine shared this fundraiser for her family that is aiming to leave gaza
So, friend of the blog and excellent worldbuilder Lillian is in some major trouble, she's 500 dollars in debt and running out of money, so she's asking for donations.
If you can, maybe you could give her some, if you can't, please boost this still. Thank you.
*shakes a tin can like a little orphan*
Please sir, my family is starving
stickers & prints like whoa *gold star, pat on the head*
https://society6.com/lousydrawingsforgoodpeople
HI. i wanna save up money for stuff so i figured i should make a new commissions post. HOWEVER.. i am a very inconsistent artist so flat prices do not really seem to work well for me! heres a bunch of shit i drew.
i do a lot of character designing and experimental art! i love to do neons and horror and creatures! my artstyle is all over the place! yea!!!!!
i will NOT do NSFW, fetish, or hate art, and i'm not really any Good at "proper" backgrounds or mecha so buyer beware there, but otherwise almost anything goes! i have teh right to reject any comm for any reason but generally im pretty easygoing!
dm me either here on tumblr or at wr0ngwarp on discord if interested!!! AUAUAUAUAUAUUAUUUUUUU