Since Joining Tumblr, I’ve Met A Lot Of Young Queer People. Look, I’m A Bisexual Man In A Gay Relationship,

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

More Posts from Witchvspatriarchy and Others

3 years ago

The year is 2021, nearly 2022, and JK Rowling has posted yet more TERF bullshit.

I'm not going to post it here. If you're trans, you've probably already seen it, and if you're cis, you don't need to see it.

It is far, far, FAR past time for you to drop Harry Potter if you haven't already.

I get it. Harry Potter was an important piece of many of our lives. It shaped many of our formative years. Choosing your house became a form of self identification for a not insignificant portion of the population. And you're allowed to feel mixed feelings. But there's one thing that needs to be clear:

Harry Potter fandom, in any form, especially done by TME people, harms trans women.

Now I understand what you may say. "Oh I'm not gonna spend any money on it but I'm still gonna make posts/fanfiction/etc about it"

And sure, not giving money that'll go to its TERF creator to fund her TERF desires is just about the bare minimum. But by continuing to engage with the work, by continuing to maintain a fandom presence, you are giving your tacit support to JK Rowling and anyone that agrees with her.

Your trans followers will see this, and the vast majority will be made to feel unsafe as a result.

But perhaps you don't care about trans women. You certainly wouldn't be the only one. So it only seems fair to mention a few other bigotries transphobia is joined by in the Harry Potter series:

Antisemitism: Goblins as a whole, trying to claim "Anthony Goldstein" as Jewish rep despite him barely being relevant and having an incredibly stereotypical name, and once again, GOBLINS AS A WHOLE

Racism: The name "Cho Chang", Lavender Brown starting out as Black in the movies before being whitewashed as soon as she became relevant to the plot

Homophobia: The use of werewolves as an HIV/AIDS metaphor, but where the infection actually IS dangerous to others, not to mention a character who actively targets children to "infect", trying to claim Dumbledore is gay and it never showing up anywhere in text

Sexism: Hermione's whole "not like other girls" schtick that's backed up by the universe itself, traditionally feminine characters being villainized (Lavender Brown, Umbridge)

These are by no means an exhaustive list, but worth mentioning nonetheless.

If you're looking to read other YA books instead, here's a few recommendations to get you started

Diane Duane's Young Wizards series is my top pick for anyone looking for another series about wizards coming of age while they face down the forces of darkness. It's been ongoing since 1983, and the author has shown an admirable willingness to go back and fix plot points that include topics she wasn't well informed enough to be sensitive about at the time. The author herself is actually active on this website, her url is @dduane

Katherine "KA" Applegate's Animorphs will always hold a special place in my heart. If you like sci-fi, aliens, and the horrors of war, this series is for you. The author is fairly vocal of her support for the trans community, and has a trans daughter herself. Her husband is Michael Grant, who both did some work on Animorphs and is the author of the Gone series which is also worth highlighting here

Tamora Pierce has multiple universes of book series largely focused on growing up in magical worlds. While her Song of the Lioness quartet and following series in the same world were great, I was always a big fan of the Circle of Magic books myself

Rick Riordan is well known for his mythology-based series. Starting with Percy Jackson, he contextualized Greek mythology in a modern setting, from the outset giving representation to people with ADHD and dyslexia. As he continued, writing series focusing on Egyptian, Roman, and Norse mythology, he added more representation into his books. While he has sometimes had issues with how he has portrayed these marginalized groups, he has largely shown himself to be receptive to criticism

Derek Landy's Skulduggery Pleasant series is another fantasy series that I quite enjoy who's author has shown explicit support for the trans community. While I am not up to date with the most recent books, it is my understanding that they include an explicitly trans and genderfluid character, and the books' magic system and themes goes into the nature of identity and names many times, in a way that even when it isn't explicitly trans, often FEELS very trans

The TL;DR is this: however you may try to justify it, participating in Harry Potter fandom in any way IS harmful to trans women, and there's a world of other series to go for instead

5 years ago
WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 
WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 
WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 
WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 
WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 

WE STAND WITH TAYLOR 

“Please let Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun know how you feel about this. Scooter also manages several artists who I really believe care about other artists and their work. Please ask them for help with this - I’m hoping that maybe they can talk some sense into the men who are exercising tyrannical control over someone who just wants to play the music she wrote.”


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5 years ago
Natalie Portman Had The Last Name Of Every Female Director That Wasn’t Nominated Embroidered Into The

natalie portman had the last name of every female director that wasn’t nominated embroidered into the cape that she’s wearing at the oscars...iconic


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5 years ago

What “every white person is racist” means

Everytime I see a post of “you can’t be white and not be racist” or something along those lines, there’s always a white person jumping in saying “i’m white and i’m not racist, you saying that is racist” and here’s the thing:

YES. In the USA specifically you cannot be white and not be racist. Why? Because in USA history white people have opressed black people and they have built a system in which they are benefited from their status as white folk.

So you may not consider yourself racist, and maybe you’re not, in the sense that you’re not hateful, or pro-salvery or part of the KKK - but you benefit from the systematic racism in your country. If you don’t recognize your privilege and actively try to deconstruct that system that benefits you while giving black folks the shorthand you are being racist cause you’re enabling that systematic racism - and because if you’re aware that you benefit from it and you don’t want to tackle it and deconstruct it is because you don’t want to lose that privilege. So, yes, it is racist. That makes you racist.

Plus, segregation was “abolished” in 1954 - 66 years ago, your grandparents and your parents were alive and learned the segregation way, you probably have been subconciously taught racism while you grow. Maybe little comments here and there, maybe you’ve been taught to not trust a black person when they come to your home, or you have been taught to lock your car doors when you’re inside and a black person passes by. Keep in mind these arent taught in a verbal way, this are little reaction-habits that are learned subconciously. So yeah, you are most probaly racist in one way or another. The same way all men are sexist, one way or another.

My dad for example, he doesn’t consider himself sexist, and most people wouldn’t either, he isn’t violent, or actively treats women as a lesser kind BUT every time we talk about celebrities his only focus is on the physical attraction of the female celebrities, ive hear him say many times “she’s not pretty enough to play that role”, while his focus on the male ones are about talents and scores and awards and stuff. Those are sexist comments, that is a very sexist pov to look at celebs, so yes, he is sexist.

THIS is what people need to understand, being racist, sexist, lgbtqphobe doesnt always present itself in an ugly oppressive agressive “im better than you and you dont deserve human rights” kind of way, sometimes its subtler and unintentional, and that’s where its dangerous cause most of this people really think they arent like that and when it gets pointed out they get defensive. They take pride in something they think they are, but arent willing to listen and grow.


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5 years ago

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

International Women’s Day, celebrated annually on March 8th and recognized by the United Nations, raises awareness for women’s rights and celebrates the achievements of women across the globe. Utilizing their fame as a platform to do good, actresses from the golden age of Hollywood and beyond have supported a variety of philanthropic causes. Myrna Loy worked on behalf of UNESCO (The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization). Ida Lupino made NEVER FEAR (’50) to raise awareness about polio. Ruby Dee fought for civil rights. Rita Moreno continues to champion the Latinx community. Martha Raye entertained the troops during three separate wars. Debbie Reynolds was a mental health and AIDS advocate. Tippi Hedren empowered Vietnamese women to become business owners. And, Shirley Temple raised awareness about breast cancer. There are many, many examples of actresses devoting their time, energy and, in many cases, finances for humanitarian, environmental and political causes. Let’s take a look at some of the notable actresses who became activists.

Doris Day

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

In 1937, Doris Day’s coonhound Tiny was hit by a car and killed. The guilt Day felt for Tiny’s untimely demise would fuel her activism on behalf of animals. Day transitioned from acting in the 1970s to become an animal welfare advocate. She co-founded the non-profit organization Actors and Others for Animals in 1971. In 1978, she started the Doris Day Pet Foundation (later renamed the Doris Day Animal Foundation). This organization advocates for the humane treatment of animals. By the late 1980s, she would allow only a handful of interviews with the sole intention of publicizing her charitable efforts. She even called up President Ronald Reagan, her costar in THE WINNING TEAM (’52), to discuss animal rights legislation. In 1987, she started The Doris Day Animal League, which eventually merged with The Humane Society of the United Sates, and established World Spay Day. In 2011, she started the Doris Day Horse Rescue and Adoption Center, and Day recorded the album “My Heart,” the proceeds of which went to her non-profit. Day was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by George W. Bush in 2004 for her work.

Jane Fonda

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

Outspoken political activist Jane Fonda has championed many causes over the years. She was a vocal opponent of the Vietnam War, which landed her in some hot water. In 1970, while Fonda was organizing and fundraising a protest with Vietnam War veterans, she was arrested for possession of drugs. The drugs were in fact vitamins and she was eventually cleared of all charges. In a moment of defiance, she held up a fist for her now iconic mugshot. Two years later, Fonda would travel to Vietnam and a photo of her sitting on an anti-aircraft gun in Hanoi would stir up controversy. She was labeled “Hanoi Jane,” a moniker that is still negatively used against her to this day. While she regretted her actions, she did not let this prevent her from continuing her political activism. She’s been a champion for civil rights, feminist causes and has lent her support to Native Americans. In recent years, she’s taken on several environmental causes including protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline and Arctic drilling. As of the publication of this article, Fonda has been arrested five times for her climate change demonstrations (Fire Drill Fridays) in Washington D.C.

Audrey Hepburn

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

During her childhood, Audrey Hepburn suffered the effects of living through WWII and the Dutch famine of 1944-1945, which would have long lasting effects on her health. In 1946, early ambassadors from the newly created organization UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund) offered her assistance. She never forgot their kindness and her own personal experience led to her to become a champion for children in need. Hepburn began working with UNICEF in 1954 and started traveling on field missions in 1988. The following year she was appointed as a Goodwill Ambassador for the organization. She traveled to Turkey, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Thailand, Venezuela, Ecuador, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador and elsewhere, assisting with medical treatments, nutrition projects and working directly with children and their mothers. Her last trip was to Somalia in 1992, four months before she died. In 1993, she was posthumously awarded the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Academy Award.

Helen Hayes

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

Actress Helen Hayes was best known for her theatrical productions, but when her severe asthma put an end to her stage career (the dust on stage proved to be too much), she transitioned to television and film. Hayes used her fame to help raise funds for asthma research. She also donated to the arts, including the Riverside Shakespeare company. She was on the board of her directors for the New York Chapter of the Girl Scouts in the 1970s. Besides being an EGOT (an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony-winning performer), her greatest claim to fame should be her work with the New York State Rehabilitation and Research Hospital which helps rehabilitate patients with disabilities. Hayes first became involved with the hospital in the 1940s. Throughout the years, she donated, fundraised and hosted events at her mansion, the “Pretty Penny,” and offered support in any way she could. She lobbied for funding to renovate the hospital, a project that cost over $37 million dollars. She served as a member of the board from 1944 until her death in 1993. The hospital was renamed The Helen Hayes Hospital in 1974 and is still going strong today.

Lena Horne

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

Lena Horne’s activism began at a very young age. In 1919, at the age of two, she appeared on the cover of the NAACP journal The Crisis. Influenced by her grandmother Cora Calhoun Horne, a suffragist and activist who was a political ally of W.E.B. Du Bois, as well as her activist father, Horne championed civil rights before the movement ever began. She joined the NAACP while she was still a high school student. She also leant her support to the Urban League, the Progressive Citizens of America and the SNCC. During WWII, Horne supported the war effort by entertaining black troops. She filed a complaint through the NAACP when she saw that black service members had to sit behind German POWs during her performances at Fort Reilly. When MGM removed her from the tour, she self-financed her trips and continued her efforts. During WWII, she also spoke up on behalf of the mistreatment of Japanese Americans. Horne campaigned for anti-lynching legislation with Eleanor Roosevelt, although that ultimately failed. During the Civil Rights Movement, Horne performed at rallies and was in the March on Washington in 1963. In 1983, the NAACP awarded her the Spingarn Medal for being an “artist humanitarian and living symbol of excellence. Her humanitarian efforts live on and the annual Lena Horne Prize, awarded by Town Hall, honors artists for their social impact.

Marsha Hunt

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

The name Marsha Hunt should become synonymous with activism. Hunt has been indefatigable in her humanitarian efforts. Influenced by her progressive mother, she became a liberated woman with strong political beliefs. Those beliefs would come under scrutiny during the McCarthy Era witch hunt. She joined the Committee for the First Amendment, a group of Hollywood actors and writers who supported the Hollywood Ten. She was ultimately blacklisted. Over the years, she became an advocate for UNICEF, The March of Dimes, The Red Cross and the United Nations. She was named an Ambassador for Peace in 2007. Hunt has championed many humanitarian causes including homelessness, mental health, world peace, the environment and the plight of refugees. She is a founder of the San Fernando Valley Mayor’s Fund for the Homeless. Hunt helped raise money to buy a motel that was renovated into a homeless shelter for women and children. She supported the shelter throughout the years by donating supplies and helping with the upkeep. Hunt has also been a vocal advocate for the LGBTQ community. Back in the 1970s, she wrote a song about same-sex relationships called “Here’s to All Love,” and it was performed by Glee star Bill A. Jones in 2013. A documentary about her life, career and humanitarian efforts MARSHA HUNT’S SWEET ADVERSITY was released in 2015.

Mary Pickford

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

Actress, producer, writer and business woman, Mary Pickford was an enterprising woman and instrumental in the formative years of the film industry. In 1921, she conceived of the idea for the Motion Picture Relief Fund, an organization intended to help other members of the film industry who had fallen on hard times. She used the remaining funds from her work selling Liberty Bonds during WWI to help finance the project. Pickford became one of the founding members of what is now called the Motion Picture Television Fund. She also served as the organization’s first vice president. She oversaw various initiatives including the Playroll Pledge Program, which encouraged industry members to donate 0.5% of their paycheck to the fund. She helped raise money to buy walnut and orange groves in Woodland Hills, which would become the home for the fund and its hospital. Pickford was on the board for many years and attended every fundraising event she could. In addition to the MPTF, she established the Mary Pickford Foundation in the 1950s. The foundation focuses on preserving films in partnerships with film archives.

Rosalind Russell

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

Ever since Rosalind Russell portrayed Sister Elizabeth Kenny, an Australian nurse who took great strides to help children suffering from polio in the film SISTER KENNY (’46), Russell became a tireless advocate for various health causes. Russell, who suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, served on the National Commission on Arthritis and Related Musculoskeletal Diseases starting in the 1970s. The Rosalind Russell Medical Research Center for Arthritis University of California San Francisco was named in her honor. She was a founding member of the United Service Organizations (USO) and the League for Crippled Children. She was a chairman and advocate for The Lighthouse for the Blind, Catholic Charities of New York, The National Arthritis Foundation, Children Services of Connecticut and the MPTF. Russell lent her efforts to senior care centers and in assisting tornado victims. For her numerous philanthropic pursuits, she received a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Academy Award in 1973.

Elizabeth Taylor

International Women’s Day: Actresses Who Became Activists By Raquel Stecher

When her good friend and co-star in GIANT (’56), Rock Hudson, died from complications of AIDS, Elizabeth Taylor was devastated. Fueled by the tragedy, she became a tireless advocate for those suffering from HIV/AIDS. She helped raise awareness, fund research and combat ignorance in a time when AIDS was still highly misunderstood. She testified before the House and the Senate for the Ryan White Care Act and helped convince President Ronal Reagan to publicly acknowledge the disease. She also founded the Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center at the Whitman-Walker Clinic in D.C. which offered free HIV/AIDS testing. In 1985, she chaired the AIDS Project Los Angeles’ Commitment to Life fundraising project and co-founded the American Foundation for AIDS Research. The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, established in 1991, provides financial and moral support to patients suffering from AIDS. She shifted her focus from acting to her humanitarian efforts and raised millions of dollars for different foundations. After her death in 2011, her estate keeps funding her foundation. Taylor was awarded a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Academy Award in 1993.


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5 years ago

THATS A MEXICSN ARTIST FOR YOU

Día De Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based Artist Raymundo Medina Built A Massive Skeleton That Appears
Día De Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based Artist Raymundo Medina Built A Massive Skeleton That Appears
Día De Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based Artist Raymundo Medina Built A Massive Skeleton That Appears
Día De Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based Artist Raymundo Medina Built A Massive Skeleton That Appears
Día De Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based Artist Raymundo Medina Built A Massive Skeleton That Appears

Día de Muertos Skeleton  Mexico-based artist Raymundo Medina built a massive skeleton that appears to be lurching out of the pavement on a street in Santa Cecilia Tláhuac, Mexico. Piles of crumbled concrete at the places where the skeleton is connected to the street create the illusion that it is bursting through the asphalt.


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3 years ago
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)
Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)

Booksmart (2019) Crush (2022)

5 years ago

Covid19 Entertainment Masterpost

The Met Opera is releasing a full recording per day.

Feature film archive

Open library

MS-DOS Games

 The Live Music Archive

 Ephemeral VHS collection

Berlin philarmonic

Museums

Peaches the Mouse by @my-darling-boy

450 Ivy League courses

Natasha and Pierre, King Lear with Anthony Hopkins and Much Ado About Nothing with Tennant

Learn Ancient Languages

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witchvspatriarchy - Witches vs Patriarchy
Witches vs Patriarchy

witches supporting other bitches

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