Do Better

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

YOOOO

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man And I’m so sick of them coming at me again ‘Cause if I was a man, then I’d be the man

I’ve been listening to Lover non stop since its release, so it was only a matter of time that I would do some fanart. More to come, maybe?

Sorority and Feminism

Sorority, sisterhood and girl gang support are elements of feminism.

It is often said becoming a feminist is joining a sorority. Which is kinda true - but what is a sorority?

Sororities are values based social organizations that are founded to provide women a safe space to gather and share, this groups are often-times women exclusive and provide intellectual and social connections amongst women to form strong bonds, gain meaningful lifelong friendships, develop leadership and professional skills and be a part of something bigger than themselves.

So yes, feminism could be described as a type of sorority, if you will.

The problem is when radical new feminists think being part of the feminist movement and embracing sisterhood and the whole "dont tear each other down" is the same as "do not ever question anything a fellow female does or says".

It's important to call out ignorant, problematic, bad, bigot and poor in taste behaviour - it doesnt matter who it comes from. A woman, a man, or a nonbinary pal.

Being part of a sorority,specially in feminism, also means helping each other grow too, and more often than not that means calling out people. So please do, but be respectful and assertive, not hostile and aggressive.

Also, if you're a feminist, dont be afraid to be wrong. We're all unlearning a belief system. We all have internalized misogyny because we all grew up in a patriarchal society and feminism is about growing and healing, and none of those are a linear process. You are allowed to be wrong, and mess up, but fellow feminists may and will call you out on it (as long as they do so with respect and tolerance), take it as an opportunity for growth for you - it's okay to acknowledge your mistakes. It's a very healthy thing to do.

Girls support girls and empowered women empower women does not mean turning a blind eye to women in the wrong - or supporting women blindly. This things do not cancel critical thinking. This means to stop actively participating in the patriarchy's way of diminishing women and piting them against each other. Like, who wore it better or when it was heavily implied by every male critic that if wonder woman failed (was bad) it was proof of how women aren't meant to be superheroes in big franchises even though there have been male centered superhero franchises that have flopped and they get the chance to keep trying. It means to stop calling each other sluts, and bitches and stop falling for the patriarchy's trap of "not being like other girls", to stop judging your fellow sisters for doing or saying things you wouldn't judge a man for, to acknowledge that women should have agency over their lives and bodies to make their own decisions, even if those decisions are not ones you would not make yourself. It means to support other women in life and have each other backs in our fight against an oppressive system.

Feminism fights to destroy and change all the perceptions about women (and men) that are harmful - including that women dont rape, are abusers, or kill (they are rarely the perpetrators, but it happens). Seeing feminists defend Amber Heard or JK Rowling because "shes a woman and feminism is for women" are one of the worst portrayal of feminism today.

Feminism does not mean supporting every single woman just because they're a woman. Don't be toxic on your feminism.

Melissa Benoist said when Blake Jenner was abusing her, she started becoming violent in return out of anger of being abused & everyone understood. This was the same response Johnny Depp had to Amber Heard’s abuse but he’s the villain for some reason. It is very real that people can bring the worst out in you - that doesn’t mean you’re not the victim.

“Recently, a friend of mine told me that she felt guilty that she hadn’t accomplished more during the last year of the pandemic. Now, I’ve heard that a few times. And I have a feeling we’re gonna be hearing that more and more.”

The Amber Ruffin Show (May 21, 2021)

So the results of the Depp vs Heard case has unfortunately revealed to me that a few of the people I follow (a few of them for a very long time) are Heard supporters and the posts they reblog are along the lines of “it’s bad and will discourage victims from coming forward” while completely ignoring how it will be empowering for male victims who have largely been suffering in silence.

And it’s made me really think about an unfortunate fallacy in people’s thinking when it comes to various buzz phrases and buzz words used when talking about victims of abuse.

“Believe all women.”

Uh… no. A noble idea on the surface, but as has clearly been seen with Depp and Heard, that ideology is just opening the door for female perpetrators of abuse to take advantage of other people’s good will and desire to help victims.

A better phrase would be, “Listen to all victims.”

Emphasis on LISTEN. Not believe. You should never, EVER just believe someone blindly. Especially in something as serious as abuse allegations. But you should always be willing to LISTEN. Take the time to see what evidence comes forward. See what a judge and jury say if the allegations ever make it that far.

Blind belief is putting yourself at risk of being taken advantage of by people who have no qualms with lying through their teeth and telling you everything they think you want to hear.

Listen to all victims, but let the evidence speak for itself.