“If You Surface, They Die.”

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

make up some lie, or

eventually get around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to share with me.

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

I was looking through my texts w/ some of my friends and found this gem.... who can relate?

PETER & PETER & PETER

I have more of these headcanons if anyone wants me to write them out. Give me a push and I will go gladly into that dark night.

Person A: Do you have anything to say for yourself?!

Person B: I have a lot of things to say, first of all, BITCH.

you will never convince me that Kaladin doesn’t tie his hair up before fighting or training or anything involving a lot of movement, even if it’s never directly mentioned or described. I maintain that he knows how to tie it up securely and will do it frequently. probably knows different hairstyles too! probable gender roles? what are those

👔👔👔

Star Wars and things R2 calls people

I’ve noticed that A) R2 doesn’t get enough love in the universe - despite the fact that everyone loves him and B) people tend to agree he called Leia “shouty princess”

So enjoy R2’s name list for our favorite Star Wars people

Anakin: Master Ani or Sand-Man

Windu: Angry Bald Man

Yoda: Little Green Troll

Plo Koon: Jedi Dad

Obi-Wan: Mr. Pretty or Swooshy-Hair

C-3PO: (it’s not appropriate in any language to repeat)

Han: Nerf herder

Padmé: Smol Senator or Mistress Naberrie

Ahsoka: Orange Striped Child!

Rex: Buff Mandalorian

Cody: Protocol Man

Kit Fisto: Barnacle Boy!

Satine: Mrs. Pretty

Depa: Many Braids

Caleb/Kanan: Funny Hair

Palps: Prune Face

Bail Organa: Mr. Politics

R4: Red Brother!

Luke: Master Ani 2.0 or Smol Sand Boy

To all the fanfiction writers out there!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK!!!

I can complain, whine, bitch and moan but in the end you are-

MAGNIFICENT! YOU ARE A LIFE SAVER!!

right, so. 

regardless of the merits of this particular story, there is a larger point to be made.

this? this is a cisgender man and a nonbinary alien in a sexual/romantic relationship.

a queer relationship. a relationship that is queer and canon. 

there is, quite simply, no other interpretation on the table. they fuck. they’re fucking. other questions are still up in the air but they are definitely, 150% fucking.

so when (not if, sadly) some smug fanboy rolls his dead, soulless little eyes at all the stupid womenfolk and queers on tumblr who want Eddie Brock and the symbiote to be a couple lol those sad horny freaks

that fanboy is wrong.

he’s just wrong. he’s as wrong as a guy telling you that Dr Doom is white or that Batwoman isn’t a lesbian. he’s wrong. that’s all. that’s it. he’s a wrong guy being wrong. know this and, in the wake of all Cates-like entities to come, draw comfort from it my friends.