Pounce!

have y’all ever thought how fucking grand and iconic it would be , if guardian was actually gay ? like , the show itself , you know .

there are so many aspects to it that would be no joke groundbreaking . and i’m not even talking about a chinese show being gay . like , have you ever thought about how much weilan’s story defies homophobic stereotypes ?

for starters , guardian is a sci-fi show with two queer main characters , which - correct me if i’m wrong - has never happened anywhere before . it also has a plot that fully depends on the love story of said two characters , though at the same time that plot is not entirely just about the two characters being gay without any further explanation . it’s not stereotypical either . it’s an actually beautifully thought-out love story .

another thing that a lot of homophobes love to push is that gay people can’t be in love / one person can’t be in love with another person of their gender . and i mean , what defies that better than a story about a man being in love with another man for ten thousand years , waiting for him and being faithful to him that entire time , despite not being able to see him ?

guardian is not just a bl , it’s not just a show that has absolutely zero plot and whose only saving grace is the fact that it is gay ( not that there is anything wrong with that tbh jfksjfksjfksjs ) . but , it is really a full blown sci-fi show with lots of different amazing characters , each of whom has their own plot .

it also doesn’t fall under the usual shitty plotline of either of the guys being confused about their feelings ? shen wei definitely isn’t , but neither is yun lan . he is absolutely sure in his love for shen wei , and when a girl chases after him and tells him she loves him - he rejects her without a shadow of a doubt . no way in hell would he want any woman , or anyone else really , when he has shen .

and why does no one talk about guardian punching toxic masculinity in the face ? shen wei is a man devoted to the love of his life for ten thousand entire years . yun lan is a man fully devoted both to a man he loves and also his team , which he also loves and cares for deeply ( and he shows it too , in many ways ) . guo changcheng is a fragile gentle boy , who doesn’t end up ‘ winning ‘ by becoming hyperly-masculine, but instead by embracing himself . and there is many more examples .

i can go on and on about this . guardian could do shit™️ if it was allowed to be what it was supposed to be from the very beginning . and i’m just so sad that it wasn’t .

dcmk fancanons that we forgot were fancanons

Off the top of my head (and feel free to add; I know I’m missing a ton):

1) since when were kaito’s eyes “a dashing shade of violet” 

2) hakuba does NOT wear glasses

3) hakuba has been in england for like the past 10 years, so all your ekoda hs fics are fantasies waiting to be fulfilled

4) i’m pretty sure we took the aoko-and-mop thing and blasted it up ten levels

5) kaito’s famous “nobody gets hurt” policy at heist. i know this one’s hard, but when did he ever actually say that?

6) i love kaishin, but i feel like a good chunk of kaishin fics don’t do shinichi’s character justice. if you’ve read some (the majority, not just the top few), you’ll know what I’m talking about. like fam. we’re talking about kudou shinichi here. even as a seven-year-old, he’s still got a huge ego and the visceral need for control of any given situation. for some reason he ended up as the fandom’s preferred bottom, which is fine, but i can’t imagine him jumping ship that easily.

7) something about kaito and his obsession with crossdressing and panties.

8) the whole “mk black organization is the same dc black organization” mega-theory. y’all know the similarities exist only because gosho’s lazy and re-used the same basic plotline (ok not really, but dc was definitely built out of lessons learned from mk)

9) kaito’s tendency to booby-trap everything. yes, i’m sure he has a bunch of smoke grenades stored somewhere, but I’ve seen so many fics where there’s an entire scene dedicated to just somebody trying to make their way through kaito’s wardrobe or belongings without spontaneously combusting.

10) and last but not least, if kaito and shinichi aren’t cousins, they’re fucking. it’s a given fact.

Star Wars and things R2 calls people

I’ve noticed that A) R2 doesn’t get enough love in the universe - despite the fact that everyone loves him and B) people tend to agree he called Leia “shouty princess”

So enjoy R2’s name list for our favorite Star Wars people

Anakin: Master Ani or Sand-Man

Windu: Angry Bald Man

Yoda: Little Green Troll

Plo Koon: Jedi Dad

Obi-Wan: Mr. Pretty or Swooshy-Hair

C-3PO: (it’s not appropriate in any language to repeat)

Han: Nerf herder

Padmé: Smol Senator or Mistress Naberrie

Ahsoka: Orange Striped Child!

Rex: Buff Mandalorian

Cody: Protocol Man

Kit Fisto: Barnacle Boy!

Satine: Mrs. Pretty

Depa: Many Braids

Caleb/Kanan: Funny Hair

Palps: Prune Face

Bail Organa: Mr. Politics

R4: Red Brother!

Luke: Master Ani 2.0 or Smol Sand Boy

when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when i do it i’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on?’ what kind of double standard honestly…..

Break that reblog button if you support Ewan McGregor for the Obi-Wan movie.

And now I’m crying, and want to write fix-it for something that didn’t happen

“Do it,” Josef says, as Eli stands poised with the Hunter’s seed in hand, hesitation showing painfully clear on his face. “Before I change my mind, Eli!” 

And Eli nods, and swallows what he was about to say, and pushes the hand clutching the brilliant-white pearl into Josef’s chest. He’s in up to the wrist before he checks himself and pulls back, but by that point Josef has gone stock-still, his expression a combination of shock and determination. 

—

When the world ceases being brilliant-white, Nico finds Josef again. She shouldn’t be so surprised to see him bright-white and at odds with the suddenly-dingy landscape, but she is, because Josef has always been quietly ominous rather than blinding opposition. 

Looking at him hurts. 

She’s almost convinced herself that it’s because he’s practically shining, rather than because she is a demon, when he tears a hole in the Veil with a swing of the Heart. 

There’s work to be done, he says. The Heart and I will hold off the demons. I’ll leave the rest to you, Eli.

He steps through the hole, and Nico waits for it to close, and chokes on the words that she does not want to say. She has never wanted to bid Josef Liechten goodbye. 

She is just about to try when she steps halfway back through the hole. 

Are you coming or not?

—

“You know what this means, right?” 

It’s a question that has to be asked, because she’s never completely sure if Eli knows exactly what he’s getting himself into when he takes the first leap. 

This time, though, he knows, and he is still just as determined.

“Of course. Go save the world.” When she doesn’t move, he adds, “Can’t get my bounty to a million standards if there’s no world to set the bounty, after all,” and manages a smile. 

“A hundred years is a long time.”

“Please. I’m Eli Monpress, greatest thief in the world, and I will steal time itself if I have to.” 

He pushes her through the portal after Josef, and it closes of its own volition. 

The last time they see Eli Monpress alive, he is giving them his trademark cheeky grin, and he is trying desperately to hide the fact that his blue eyes are filled with tears. 

———

a/n: Eli’s original plan, before the Lord of Storms provided another out, was to make Josef the Hunter. He must have known that Josef would never have done it without Nico out there at his side. 

He was ready to give up everything he loved for the sake of the world. 

Tell me that’s not sacrifice.

Person A: Do you have anything to say for yourself?!

Person B: I have a lot of things to say, first of all, BITCH.

Mansplaining protip:

When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:

Ok, which aspect is confusing you?

It seems like you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?

So did you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth explanation?

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice