Richard: Hey Guys Do You Want To...

Hufflepuff: *sneezes*

Slytherin: here *gives handkerchief*

Hufflepuff: you are so nice!

Slytherin: NO I AM NOT. I didn't want any germs from you. That's why I gave you a handkerchief.

Hufflepuff: :)

Ravenclaw: *gets papercut* ouch

Slytherin: *puts bandage on* I fucking hate you. Why do you hurt yourself all the time?

Ravenclaw: *whispers* how did you get in my house?

Slytherin: Gryffindor is stupid.....an idiot....useless

Someone: yeah, I agree. Gryffindor sucks

Slytherin: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT GRYFFINDOR?

(Headcanon: Slytherin is a soft Tsundere)

Who wants to be the main character? I want to be the omniscient narrator of someone's story.

Dazai: psk psk...Atsushi-kun....show me your paper

Atsushi: I can't! I don't want to get caught!

Dazai: oh come on! I don't even know these squiggly lines, is this English? Who the fuck uses cursive?

Ranpo: I am not even answering these questions, I am too smart for this

Yosano: if you are not answering, whom will I copy from?

Dazai: Can anyone help me? I don't even know what subject this is!

Akutagawa: I'll help you Dazai-san, take my paper

Dazai: NOT YOU Akutagawa!

Akutagawa: *sad Akutagawa noises*

Higuchi: don't worry, Akutagawa Senpai! I will look at your answers!

Akutagawa: NOT YOU Higuchi

Higuchi: *sad Higuchi noises*

Gin: those are some nice drawings Tachihara!

Tachihara: thanks, I can't write answers, might as well doodle

Chuuya, diligently writing answers: CAN YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?

Kunikida, hitting Chuuya with a duster: Negative five points to Nakahara for cheating

Chuuya: WTF I WASN'T EVEN----

Kunikida: make it ten

Dazai: *laughing in the back*

Kunikida: and a Negative 100 for Dazai

Atsushi: that means he will get a 0?

Ranpo: looking at his answers, he is probably gonna get a -110, ten marks cut for bad handwriting

(I thought of this headcanon last night, Kunikida, as a former teacher gives the ADA and PM joint night tutoring classes. I didn't add the Tanazaki's cuz since they are highschoolers, they haven't missed basic education, hopefully)

(yes, Yosano is a Dr. and all, but is she a medical professional for real or they call her that because she is a healer? IDK?)

Richard: hehe....do you think Charles and Camilla are fucking eachother?

Francis: yes

Richard: *spits drink out* I was just kidding

Francis: we are all fucking eachother, when will you realise that?

(ps: I was clutching my imaginary pearls when that revelation happened)

"I love you" ❌❌❌

It's boring, overused and predictable

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:

*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*

Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?

Gryffindor: why did you come then?

Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!

Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?

Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor

Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?

Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready

*both pull out knives at the same time*

Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?

Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.

Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....

Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.

Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......

Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!

Slytherin: they are not coming back

Ravenclaw: No.

Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.

Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW

Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.

Hermione: do you know people are mostly killed during the night by their own spouses ?

Ron: why the fuck would you say that?

Hermione: it's a fun fact....and facts are true.

Ron: .....

Hermione: you actually don't think I would kill you right?

Ron: Mom, come pick me up I am scared.

The feeling of losing something, but you don't know what you are losing. You just feel lost.

Characters that fascinate me:

1. Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter): after re-reading HP again, I started to put more effort on dissecting the interactions between Dumbledore and other people, especially Harry and Snape. Dumbledore's strategies, plans and the use of emotions of other people for his favours and for the greater good is for me unlike what most people consider, admirable. I have heard many people mention the fact they hate Dumble's because he is "evil", I like morally grey characters and the fact is Dumbledore's actions were not evil in any way. Did he raise Harry to die? Yes. But that doesn't mean he did that for fun (or ounce presented a way to save Harry he didn't make sure to prevent his death). Every step Dumbledore took was to defeat Voldy in the end, who was committing mass genocide. To prevent deaths of hundreds, thousands of people, it was okay for him to sacrifice certain people (mostly Himself, Harry and Snape). I also think Dumbledore could or should have been in Ravenclaw or Slytherin because his qualities matches those houses more than Gryffindor (also can you imagine how conflicting it would have been for Harry if Dumbledore causally mentions he is a Slytherin or if he was a Ravenclaw there could have been more characters in that house than Quirrell and Lockhart of all people)

2.  Daria Morgendorffer (Daria): if there was a character that I could relate to the most, it's her. Daria's cynical outlook, her quick wit, her quotes are so entertaining to watch. Its really amazing to be able to have a character that represents the perceptions of the quiet kids. As one of them, Daria is the representation of rebellion against the power hungry, capitalistic and tone deaf world we live in.

3. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl): this woman sacres me. She is the epitome of the perfectly imperfect villainous yet fascinating character that captures your attention. She is a psychopath. She is a liar. She is deranged. And I can't help liking her as a complex person.

4. Wanda Maximoff (Wandavison): from her ability to manipulate the minds of all the original avengers (except Hawkeye) in age of Ultron to her batshit crazy powers in multiverse of madness (including the fact defeating the entire illuminati while dream walking), Wanda had come far from being just another avenger to one of most powerful beings in the current MCU. And all of that due to a mother's love, shows you how powerful loss and love can be.

5. L. Lawliet (Death Note): world's top three detectives, the boy who stopped WW3 as a kid, the blueprint for Wammy's house, the deductive genius who almost captured the worst serial killer in history. L will never cease to be interesting. His backstory reveals that L was always the best, no matter if he could defeat Light Yagami or not (he sort of did defeat Light as he knew Light was Kira the 1st time he met him). The most interesting aspect of L is how neutral his moral ideals are, on one hand he spends all this time (literally, as he doesn't sleep) to solve the Kira case, on the other hand he isn't reluctant to play with people's emotions and sacrifice certain people to reach his end goals. While L is the antagonist, everyone loves him as the hero to Light's protagonist villain. I do love L as much as the next person; what I love more than that is how he is just as morally grey as Light but stays on the grey part and never becomes the villain he could be, something that Light became.

6. Allison Dilaurentis (Pretty Little Liars): in my opinion, the most evil of the onscreen Mean girls (except for Courtney Shane and Chanel Oberlin). Allison in the first few seasons was the most fascinating aspect of the show, the sheer power she holds in Rosewood, the way she manipulates all her friends, the way she could destroy lives of anyone she wants is the best part of her character. But after her return from the "dead" she became kinda boring and not the fantastic villain we wished she was. Like, they could have made Aria "A" instead of evil British cousin and made Allison the one controlling Aria, as it was clear Aria was hiding something about herself, the show also gave many clues about her and she seemed be the person Allison liked the most among the liars (she also got the least torment from Allison as well as A). It makes sense if they were both working together. But no, that's too predictable! You have to pull the evil twin plot for shock value!!!!

7. Regulus Black (Harry Potter): he is the best example of a good Slytherin (*ahem* Snape *ahem*). The best thing about his arc is he used to be a death eater but changed sides after knowing how shitty Voldy is, protected his house elf and sacrificed his life for the world. And had a better reason for changing sides than someone very similar to him (*ahem* Snape *ahem*)

Ps: I did not die. Next time.

There's no way Rat Man is dead right? He even went out spewing Jesus's line about resurrection.

But I DON'T want Nikolai to be the one who saved Fyodor at the last minute, let it be anyone else (let's say Agatha Christie). Nikolai saving Fyodor will take away all of the emotions of the climax. It was such a sad/heartbreaking moment for Nikolai that Dazai, who always had snide remarks, didn't make a joke about it (probably because he understands Nikolai and would feel the same way if Chuuya died).

If Fyodor survives and is ready for his next villain arc with Agatha, then let him be the one to reveal himself to Nikolai and recruit him....this time not as a pawn but as an ally/friend.