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How to get a PhD?

In five easy steps, you can earn a real PhD! Here's how:

Choose a subject in which you can get a PhD, such as Caviar Debrining, Musical Glassware Demolition, or Cunnilingus.

Enroll in a graduate school that offers a PhD course in your topic, such as CU Boulder, the Academy of Raya Lucaria, or the Royal Institute for the Study and Performance of Cunnilingus.

Achieve 80-140 hours of class credits in relevant coursework, such as Advanced Bullshitting, Making Up MLA Format Citations That Sound Real, and Warping Irrelevant Quotations So They Will Appear To Fit Your Points (Cunning Linguistics).

Compose a dissertation in the medium demanded by your field, such as an Essay, Scientific Treatise, or Oral Presentation.

Defend your dissertation. This is nothing to be afraid of and is merely titled a "defense" in an antiquated sense of the word. You can defend your dissertation in many academic ways, such as a sword duel, outlasting a professor in the pain induction box, or of course, besting them in Competitive Cunnilingus. This last one is naturally the most reliable way to graduate Cum Laude.

some notable catchphrases of 2013:

bitch I might be

do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo ! 

swiggity swag

the D

wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti

“ hello______, im dad “ 

AYYY LMAO

W R I T I N G  I N T E N S E  W O R D S  L I K E  T H I S 

 perfect _____ don’t exis-

And now, the weather

at least 2 potato

we’ve come full circle ! 

life hack :

[ __________ INTENSIFIES]

so many

such doge. much wow. very smile. 

mahogany 

*sweats nervously*

same. 

spooper hot choclety milk

#SHERLOCKLIVES

engineers dodging the lockheed martin and raytheon job offers like neo in the matrix

last night i had the craziest fucking dream

there was this island off the coast of los angeles called thelena iirc. (sidenote, i didnt know what it was called for the longest time. i pulled out my phone in the dream and used google maps and saw all of the city names and ferry routes) iirc it gained significant popularity and acted as a refuge for many people after some climate disaster killed a lot of the usa, but i also remember the usa being bustling, so thats a continuity error in my dream. the other part of thelena was as a massive experiment by the united states government, as they wanted to see if they should switch the usa over to a socialist nation, as well as switch over to public transit/walkable cities because thelena was relatively small (iirc around the size of los angeles), and was isolated from the mainland, it was a perfect testing ground.

unsurprisingly, thelena socially blew up, with many thousands of people migrating to it, and being a hub for scientific and technological advancement, all in perfect harmony with nature

*sigh* i wish thelena was real

also, some whacky shit happened in that dream.

- there was a pizza hut on thelena and one of the toppings was whole brains

- i had a derelict boeing 737 with broken cockpit windows which i flew around in and fucked around with

- i fought ganondorf (from the legend of zelda) but with horse legs at the beginning of the dream

- one of the ways you can tell if you're in a dream is by noticing text, and if its all weird and moves due to the fact that your brain cant render text, you are in a dream. my brain just didnt do this. thats how i knew it was called thelena (although i might have forgot the exact spelling)

- my brain somehow almost perfectly rendered google maps on my phone? there were a few graphical glitches with nonexistent islands filling up ocean bays and it looked really weird, but other than that my brain perfectly rendered google maps text, zoom, roads, and ferry routes

Credit: @pet_foolery

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

saying 'there have been trans people as long as there have been people' is, while i think well-intentioned, wrong (and a bit silly). gender itself is a socially-constructed system, and that is the key fact for the entire transgender movement. there is no sensible understanding of transgender existence without the context of a system of social gender. there have been transgender people as long as there has been gender - because it is a fundamentally arbitrary system - but that is not the same thing as 'as long as there have been people'. people existed without the social system of gender for a long time, it is not an inherent trait of humans - and arguing otherwise is, as well as simply being wrong, not something that really benefits the transgender movement

my silly and tired engineering brain saw this and tetris-effect'd my way into dividing and eliminating the factors of both "medusa" and "dyke" leaving 1

by our powers combined....