Gojo Would Be An Absolute Menace On Tumblr 😭

CURSED SOUL NOBARA! MEET RESONANCE!

It took much longer than I thought to draw this lovely lady. She was next on the roster, and it was a pleasure to draw her! Albeit poorly :')

Anyways! This is Resonance! She is another part of the chaotic group of guardians that watch over Yuuji. She communicates with clicks (usually made from her metallic limbs) or soft trills. Despite not having a face, she is still very expressive. Her mood can be decerned from the rose on her eye. If its in full bloom, she is content. The more upset she gets, the more the rose will wilt. If she becomes enraged, the rose will leak a blood-like substance while the vines around her multiply. She is specialized in long range defense/offense for Yuuji. She can shoot out the nails from her vines and control where each one goes. Her aim is deadly accurate. She is still able to use techniques like Hairpin on her nails. The nails will grow back quickly as long as she has enough energy. She also enjoys jamming a nail into anyone (aka Infinite) who annoys her. With Yuuji, she is careful not to accidentally stab him. At some point, Yuuji gets special mittens for her arms ;)

ALRIGHT FIRST PIC. The picture on the upper left is my finalized design for Resonance. For the most part. I say that because I am still indecisive of what I want her leg shape to be. I settled on more crooked legs in the end. Drawing her neck and arms were incredibly difficult bc I know next to nothing about anatomy. Luckily, Resonance is not a human so I could get away with some wacky proportions. Overall, I want her to resemble a limp marionette that can walk on its own thanks to the sharp ends of its legs. That theme carried on throughout all my designs. I debated on whether I should tear up her clothes or not since Nobara is known for her outfits. However, it would not make since for Resonance to have zero tears considering how sharp she is and how long she has been alive. She still enjoys wearing new outfits when she can.

Second pic! This image on the top right is an older drawing. Resonance cannot touch Yuuji without risking him getting cut, so she usually likes to dangle roses in front of Yuuji's face to tickle him. The other image is of an older design of Resonance. I cannot reveal the true meaning behind the image without spoiling future chapter ideas hehe

Third and fourth pic! The drawings on the bottom left/right are my first designs of Resonance. I found them in a tiny notepad I had and they're pretty rough, but I wanted to include them anyways :)

Until next time!

Shit u right

yall haven’t written the next chapter of ur fanfic and it really shows

Last Song: Goodbye from Arcane (Specifically a version made my Samuel Kim who does AWESOME orchestral music. Love listening to him when I’m writing intense scenes!)

Favorite Color: Red! Purple is a close seconds, but red is my OG favorite. The shades of red I like the most are definitely burgundy, crimson, and ruby!

Last Book: The Odyssey by Homer (I love Greek Mythology sm. And listening to Epic the Musical has only made it worse lmao)

Last Movie: Hell House LLC from 2015 (I never watch horror movies but my friends wanted to see something spooky. I got jumpscared sm 💀)

Last TV Show: Arcane Season Two (I will never recover…)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: I have a HUGE sweet tooth so definitely the Sweet option. Brownie Brittle and Dark Chocolate are my biggest weaknesses 😭

Relationship Status: Single! Never dated and not interested in dating anytime soon, but a QPR would be nice :,)

Current Obsession: Writing too many fanfics…so many ideas for stories about JJK, HTTYD, Hazbin Hotel, and now Arcane bc it’s PEAK. I already have plenty of fics I’m working on but the pile keeps growing!!!

Looking forward to: GETTING A BETTER LAPTOP! The one I’ve been using for years just broke a week ago for the second time and I’m losing it. Besides that, I’m super excited to see Sonic 3! I’ve always known about Sonic but I never really got into it until I started watching Snapcube’s Sonic Fandubs! Now I’m hooked and love the little blue menace (Sonic Prime is so good) Besides that, I’m glad for the holidays so I can finally see my siblings again and I can stay inside more often to write!

(Absolutely No Pressure!) Tagging: @pineapple-cowboy @mwentallyunwell (we’re not mutuals but I think you guys are awesome: @drawbauchery @adyophene @knightfire) @belladonazeppole (you leave such nice comments on my Deer’s Darling Series!)

Tagged By: @n0bluev (thank you so much dearie!!!)

Happy Holidays Everyone! ❤️

Ten People I'd Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @daydreamerwonderkid

Last song: String Quintet #5: Minuet in E Op 11/5 G 275 by Luigi Boccherini (I had the classical station on in the car)

Favorite color: Orange

Last Book: To Shape A Dragon's Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose

Last movie: MST3K: Boggy Creek II (because it's tradition when I visit my family for my sister to fall asleep in the recliner while we watch MST3K)

Last TV show: M*A*S*H

Sweet/savory/spicy: SOUR. Or I guess sweet? But I love sour stuff. Pickled foods my beloved.

Relationship status: lol

Last thing I googled: black cat plushie (to show my friend the one I have that I mistake for my actual black cat at least once a month)

Current obsession: Forever Batfam. Almost free to lose myself in Venom!Steph AU, but not quite. Been watching a bunch of deep sea videos again, too.

Looking forward to: I have the day off tomorrow and I'm going to clean my kitchen and read a book!

No pressure tags @dangerousdan-dan @owlovo @sepia-stained-sunset @roseandgold137 @raan-miir-tah @dizaryswrites @spacemeowntain @cursedunicornofeast @your-dead-european-ancestor

hastily slapped this together in a few seconds

Sander Sides: At the Beach

Logan: This environment is quite unpleasant. I believe going somewhere cooler would be optimal.

Patton: Don’t be such a downer, Lo! The kids are having so much fun! *points at Roman and Virgil*

Logan: Patton... Roman is currently burying Virgil in the sand.

Virgil: (an intellectual) I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN. GUARDIAN OF THE SAND! *spits out sand*

Roman: POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM!!

Virgil: *looking at ocean* FUCK OFF

Logan: ...

Patton: See! Fun!

Logan: I hate all of you.

ao3 writers RISE UP

same energy

Remus Without His Moustache

This is deathly accurate

peter in civil war: i can’t go i’ve got homework

peter in homecoming: im dropping out of school

No one:

Patton in the latest episode:

Cursed Guardians (A JJK Fic)

AO3 Link

Next

Previous

Start Here

“Do you hate humans, Sukuna?” The question escaped Ryomen’s mouth before he could think twice about his words. It had been a year since he had met Sukuna, and the thought had plagued him ever since.

With a piece of suspiciously-sourced meat in his mouth, the curse looked at him with a raised, unimpressed brow. His face irked Ryomen. They looked like twins, which only served to remind Ryomen of the reason why he had endured such torment. Two faces. That was what his name meant, and he finally realized that the second face was Sukuna. Two sides of the same coin. 

He hated it.

“Why would you ask me about such a useless topic?”

“Humor me.”

“...Alright. In truth, I cannot say that I hate humans. I simply hate what is weak. While a majority of humans do qualify as pitfully weak, there are a few notable ones that I cannot ignore. If one is strong, then I could care less about if they were human or not.”

Ryomen went silent for a long, long time. Then, he started to laugh. “I did not expect that. It seems that I’ve misjudged you.”

“How so?”

“I thought you were a monster that only craved power and bloodshed, but there is something else to you that I foolishly ignored.”

“It would not be the first time one thought of me as mindless. Tell me, what is this ‘grande epiphany’ you have gotten about me?”

“You’re kind. Far kinder than I could ever be.”

.

.

.

-

.

.

.

The worst part of Ryomen’s day was always waking up. 

Some said that new days brought new beginnings. Others said that new days brought new challenges. Ryomen believed neither. To him, a new day brought old memories. It sounded like a contradictory statement, but when this was your second life, it was easy to be reminded of things from your first one in every little thing. Simply waking up in a warm bed caused countless memories to resurface. Memories of him sleeping on dirt or straw, daydreaming of laying on something softer. Memories of him using a burlap sack as a blanket on his luckiest days. Memories of him begging for a place to rest during the worst of winter and being denied on every occasion. The fact that he now had a comfortable bed with soft sheets and fluffy blankets was still difficult to believe. He had been raised to survive, and no amount of time could take that instinct away. Even after one thousand years. There would always be a part of him that was prepared to return to the streets, that he should not become accustomed to living a comfortable life. That it would be taken from him soon enough and he’d be back to where he started. Starving. Cold. Hurt. And so, so alone.

“Dammit.” Ryomen whispered to himself, forcing his darkening thoughts to quiet. He pressed his palms into his eyes and sighed harshly. The day had barely started, yet he was already spiraling. With little grace, he took off the silk covers of his bed and stood up to head to his bathroom. Having a bathroom attached to one’s room seemed like the height of luxury to Ryomen when he first learned of it. Little did he know that plumbing and electricity was just the tip of the iceberg. The modern era was so advanced that Ryomen had a difficult time believing sorcery was not involved in some capacity. In truth, the only magic at play was human ingenuity. If he did not hate humans as much as he did, then he would have felt respect for them. 

He would never respect a human.

Technically, sorcerers were humans. The only difference is that they had inhuman abilities. It was still enough for Ryomen to separate the two. Humans and sorcerers were two different species in his mind. He hated both, but one of them was far worse in his eyes. 

It had been the human villagers who had scorned him, the villagers who had beat him, the villagers who had hated every fiber of his being.

So he would hate them in turn. 

The pink-haired man silently turned on the shower, hoping the noise would stop his thoughts all together. Ryomen knew he had a bad habit of overthinking. It was what he needed to do to live another day in the Heian Era. He had to think of every possibility and how to deal with it if he were to survive. Staying alert and aware kept him safe. While Ryomen knew he did not need such a mindset anymore, accepting it was far more difficult than acknowledging the problem. The modern world they lived in was not free of its dangers either. In fact, it was more dangerous than the Heian Era.  His old life had been dangerous because he was always at risk of dying from starvation, dehydration, or hypothermia. With Sukuna, things were much less risky from the power they wielded. Now, the one Ryomen treasured the most was in danger of being taken or killed by a monster named Kenjaku. Losing Yuuji once had broken Ryomen beyond repair. The only reason that he had continued to live after his death was due to Sukuna’s piecing him back together. If he lost Yuuji a second time, then there would not be anything left for even Sukuna to heal. 

Not caring if the water was too hot or cold, Ryomen abruptly stepped into the shower. Luck seemed to favor him for once as the water was a perfect temperature. A comforting warmth dripped down his back until the feeling of wet clothes broke him out of his reprieve. Oh. He had completely forgotten to undress. Fuck, I’m really out of it today. After he quickly discarded his sleepwear, Ryomen returned to the warm water with a soft sigh. Each droplet felt like bliss against his scarred back. It was a permanent reminder of the cruelty the villagers were capable of. The raised flesh bore the scars of brutal lashings, most of them were caused by a chain. The chain that had belonged to the farmer Ryomen had frequently stolen from. The same chain that Ryomen had welded into a makeshift weapon. Despite it being centuries since the injuries were inflicted, Ryomen’s scars would forever cause him great pain. Reverse cursed technique could do nothing against scars or phantom pains, so Ryomen knew he would have to live with it. Additionally, there was light scarring around the tattoos that circled his thighs and calves. In his youth, there had been other street urchins who he had to compete for resources with. They enjoyed tormenting him by slicing into the markings that labeled him as a blight amongst the village. Similar to painting over a bland wall, they had wanted to cover his unsightly markings with something better. Before they could cover the entirety of his markings with scars, Ryomen learned how to defend himself and give them scars of their own. Thankfully, the scars along the tattoos on his legs brought him no discomfort. Only Sukuna and himself knew of their existence as the black coloring of the tattoos hid the scars quite well. 

There had once been a time where Ryomen had been ashamed of his scars, but someone had made him realize the truth of scars. 

It was one of the only things he could remember about Yuuji’s mother.

“The marks of your flesh tell quite a story. One that is painful and pathetic but one that is triumphant and wise. It speaks of your failures and your successes. It shows the strength you have gained to survive and the knowledge you have gained to prevent such scars from forming ever again.” 

He had only known her for mere weeks when they had laid together after a long night of drinking sake she had stolen. Even so, Ryomen had loved her deeply. The kindness she showed him made someone as touch-starved and lonely as Ryomen become foolish. Even so, he was grateful to her for giving him Yuuji. He just wished that she had not been a part of the clan he despised so much. The Itadori Clan. But he knew better than anyone that one could not control where they were born into. If it wasn’t for her, Ryomen would not have known the true reason as to why he was cursed to live such a tortured life. 

“I recognize you. You’re a Ryomen, correct? My clan has spun many tales about your kind. The ‘Two Faced Demon’ is what they call you. A being that appears during a twin pregnancy, consuming both fetuses within and using the mother for nutrients until she dies. All Ryomen’s are born with black markings that make them easy to detect. The demon has plagued the Itadori Clan for generations, but would you like to know the truth? It’s a lie my clan has spun to clear its name of any wrongdoing. When a servant or consort becomes pregnant by an Itadori member, she is sentenced to death in the guise that she was carrying a Ryomen demon. Your mother was just another whore they killed to keep their name and their bloodline clean. The only reason you were not killed was because your mother ran away before she gave birth. She was caught eventually, and we thought that you would die to the elements without her. I am glad that you survived. When my clan told me the story of your mother, it planted seeds of doubt within me as a child. Now, I hope that I can help you bring justice to you, your mother, and all that have fallen due to the Itadori’s deceit.”

Ryomen could barely remember her face, but he would never forget her words. For years, he had wondered as to why the gods had forsaken him. In truth, it had never been the gods. It had been the Itadori Clan. They had labeled him as a demon and had likely spread their tales to the masses, his village being one of the fools who believed them. At least, he had gotten his revenge on both. 

Steam billowed out of the shower as the water against Ryomen’s back immediately evaporated. Whenever he was too emotional, his cursed energy would become unstable like the fire he wielded. The anger he felt towards that clan would never fade. However, he had more important things to do. Losing himself in rage was not what he needed for today. He would be testing the four sorcerers for the final time to see if their alliance was something worth keeping. It was a four day event, one day dedicated to each sorcerer. Yesterday was Nanami’s test, and the man passed with flying colors. His natural durability and ability to remain calm under pressure was impressive. Out of all the sorcerers the pink haired man had come to know, Nanami was the one who Ryomen could respect the most. The blonde’s morals were unbreakable. His dedication to protecting his son was truly proven the previous day. Now, Getou was up next. 

Breakfast first. Test later. Ryomen scolded himself. He finished his shower and dried off, trying to free his mind of any further memories or thoughts. There was a six-year-old he needed to check on, so losing himself in his worries was not an option. On autopilot, he dressed himself, brushed his teeth, shaved any stubble, and made his way to his son’s room. 

Only to have his stomach drop. 

Yuuji was clearly having a nightmare, but there was something off about this one. Blood. Crimson streamed from his nose, mouth, ears, and eyes. The boy’s brow was furrowed in distress while his lips muttered a string of pleas to stop. All of his guardians were surrounding him to attempt to comfort him. Once he ran to his son’s bed, he could see the bloodstains all over his blankets. His heart was beating out of his chest. Yuuji was hurt. His son was hurt and crying and scared. Supernova, who was curled around the sobbing boy’s neck, looked the most unsettled he had ever seen the normally calm cat. Chitters of worry came from Chimera and Resonance. Whines escaped from Boogie. Overtime was using his wrappings to card through the child’s hair. 

“What happened?” Ryomen snapped his head to Infinite. The feathered dragon was already staring back, something that the man could feel behind the being’s mask. Infinite had been a huge help in figuring out the treatment for his son’s nightmares. Like Gojo, the cursed soul had unique eyes that could see the unseeable. “Infinite. What. Happened.” 

Infinite clicked sharply at the other cursed souls as he left the rafters. All but Supernova moved to provide pace for the largest of the group. He cooed at Yuuji in an attempt to wake him up, but it did not work. Yuuji continued to cry and bleed. Ryomen felt himself trembling at the sight. Flashbacks of angry shouts, burning flesh, Yuuji’s cold body in his arms filled his mind without mercy. As if knowing the panic about to erupt in Ryomen, Infinite trilled loudly to stop the upcoming spiral. Without glancing at the other, the draconic bird gently pressed his beak against Yuuji’s forehead. Silence filled the room, Ryomen waiting his baited breath, as Infinite looked into the child’s mind. 

Then Infinite wrenched his head away as if he was burned, screeching. 

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!” Sukuna appeared out of thin air, his voice like a thunderous boom. When his gaze locked onto Yuuji, the curse gasped. “Shit! Move out of the way, you dumb bird!” He pushed Infinite out of the way and scooped up the boy in his bottom pair of arms. Supernova snarled, but Sukuna paid it no mind. The curse’s palms glowed a gentle white as his Sukuna’s reverse cursed technique activated. He used his upper pair of hands to begin healing whatever damage Yuuji had incurred. His eyes screwed shut and his mouth turned downwards in a scowl. After a few moments, Yuuji’s cries stopped as well as any further bleeding. Sukuna opened his eyes with an indescribable emotion with them. “He was bleeding internally. The damage his organs sustained was from blunt force trauma, but there is no way that someone was able to break in and hurt him without anyone realizing. The brat isn’t strong enough to do that damage to himself either-”

A shrill squawk interrupted the curse. Infinite was shaking his head vehemently. It was evident that the cursed soul was trying to communicate what he had seen in whatever way he could. His tail opened to the fullest extent, the countless eyes within looking as panicked as Ryomen felt. Complex patterns of trills and chirps came from Infinite. Seeing that neither Ryomen or Sukuna understood, Infinite snapped his beak at the air in frustration. He turned towards Chimera and shared chitters with the shadow being. 

“He saw something, right?” Sukuna asked the other man. 

No response came from Ryomen. His mind could only process Yuuji’s bloodstained face and cries. Why. Why now. Why. NOW. Why does his son always have to suffer? It was not fair. Yuuji was an innocent child who had always been kind to others. He was gentle, selfless, considerate, and so much better than any other person. Yet, time and time again, Yuuji only suffered. First, it was the treatment his son received in their village. Second, the refusal of his elders to treat his ill son during a plague. Then, his son died a slow death that could have been prevented. If it wasn’t for Sukuna, then Yuuji would not have had this second chance. Ryomen had given his soul and body for Yuuji, yet it wasn’t enough. Yuuji had his guardians, Sukuna, and Ryomen to protect him in this new life. Sukuna had gone to great lengths to ensure his nephew’s safety. It wasn’t enough. When would it ever be enough? Ryomen had even allied with sorcerers, something he would have never imagined, to provide more protection to Yuuji. These next couple days were for said sorcerers, who were being tested to see if they are fit for Yuuji. Everything was for Yuuji as Yuuji deserved everything. 

And Yuuji was hurting.

It felt like all the years Ryomen had spent securing the shrine, improving his own techniques, creating a safe house if things went wrong, and overseeing the training of four sorcerers was all for naught. What was the point of all his efforts if Yuuji continued to suffer? What kind of father helplessly watched their child be tormented by nightmares? A useless coward. 

Ryomen was useless. 

He knew how to survive through the harshest winters and summers

He knew how to survive without access to a crumb of food or droplet of water.

He knew how to defeat several opponents at once. 

He knew how to turn entire armies into nothing but smoldering ash.

He knew how to make himself a weapon capable of killing the strongest of sorcerers.

He knew how to remain undetected from his enemies.

He knew how to wield his cursed energy with the same expertise as Sukuna.

He knew how to defend himself.

He knew how to hide.

He knew how to kill whoever crossed him.

But he did not know how to help the person he loved most. 

His precious son. His little cub. His pain never stopped. Was it Ryomen’s fault? Had he angered some greater power by bringing Yuuji back to life? Did Yuuji’s suffering become worse because of Ryomen?

Was resurrecting Yuuji a mistake?

No. Ryomen immediately told himself. It would never be a mistake. 

Even as he saw Chimera’s eyelights twist into an image of his son being beaten by an unknown figure, the pink-haired man refused to entertain such a thought. His nails threatened to puncture his skin with how tightly his fists were clenched. He would find a way to stop Yuuji’s nightmares. It was his job as his father to protect him. Ryomen had been shielding his son from the outside world for good reason. Kenjaku was out there, waiting for the correct moment to strike. However, Ryomen had failed to shield Yuuji from himself. For whatever reason, Yuuji’s mind seemed to only work against the boy. 

“Someone was hurting him in his dream, and the damage appeared on his physical body.” Beside him, Sukuna translated the image Chimera had shown. 

It was troubling news. Ryomen could not help but reach out to Supernova in order to soothe his shot nerves with the cat’s soft fur. Luckily, the feline allowed it. The stress was a shared feeling amongst himself, Sukuna, and the guardians. “How can a nightmare do something like that?”

“A regular nightmare can’t. It’s impossible. For damage within the mind to transfer into damage to the body could only mean one thing.” Before he revealed it, Sukuna paused as Yuuji started to cry again. He held him closer. 

“What is it?! Spit it out!” Not appreciating the silence, Ryomen snapped at the other.

“I’m getting to it, asshole.” Sukuna snapped back. He sighed deeply before continuing. “His soul is being tampered with. There are only three who are capable of that: myself, Kenjaku, and Mahito. The last is a curse that I said won’t be born until 2018, so he is obviously not the culprit. I’d never hurt the brat like that, so I’m out. Kenjaku must be-”

“Didn’t you say that the guardians could detect something like that? They have pieces of Yuuji’s soul to specifically ensure that this couldn’t happen. Are you trying to tell me that Kenjaku magically figured out a way to bypass that?” He did not bother to try to mask the irritation in his voice. Familiar anger began to boil within his veins. Sukuna was not telling him everything. “It can’t be an outside force.”

“Kenjaku has experimented on souls before, so it is possible-”

“Don’t bullshit me, Sukuna! The guardians would have been alerted no matter what! That’s what they’re here for! It’s impossible for them to fail their purpose!”

“I am telling the truth! Yuuji’s soul is being messed with! Why the fuck would I lie about something like that! Damage to the soul is very serious, Ryomen!”

“I know that!”

“Then why are you arguing with me about who is hurting him?”

“Because you’re lying! It’s impossible for the guardians to not feel a single thing if Kenjaku was manipulating Yuuji’s soul! You’re hiding something from me! You always do! Just tell me what it is or else I swear I will kill you where you stand!”

“How dare you accuse me of-”

“There’s something within him, isn’t there?”

Dead. Silence. 

“I-”

“You know exactly what it is, don’t you.” He did not need to ask anymore, it was a fact. Ryomen could recognize the guilt and conflict within Sukuna’s eyes. It was a look the curse got every time Yuuji had nightmares or did something no normal child should do. “Tell me.”

Sukuna refused to answer.

“TELL ME THIS INSTANT, SUKUNA!”

At the shouting, Yuuji’s cries grew into wails. Ryomen quieted immediately, but he looked at Sukuna with a message in his eyes. This isn’t over. The two tried their best to comfort Yuuji as the bleeding restarted. While Sukuna cleaned him, Ryomen smoothed his fingers through his son’s hair. Like always, they stopped their fighting to care for Yuuji. It was tense, and Ryomen was about to snatch Yuuji into his arms to take him to his own room when the door opened.

The four sorcerers had heard the commotion. 

That’s right. They are here for four days to complete the final exam. It’s Suguru’s test day. Great. Just one more thing to deal with. 

-

THE STRONGEST FAM 😎🙊🐺🌸💅🧸

gumibear: can we skip school if you guys are on vacation?

ShadowSister: Megumi no

gumibear: stfu tsumiki

ShadowSister: Fine then

ShadowSister: Guess us girls will enjoy boba and sushi for lunch and not you

gumibear: wait 

ShadowSister: Too late! Meanies don’t get free boba

Lights.Camera.Action: lmao sucks to be u megs!

gumibear: can i retract my statement

ShadowSister: No <3

mimi&co: Didn’t Gojo-san and Getou-san say that they were on a mission?

gumibear: yeah but they’re still away for the next 3 days

Lights.Camera.Action: hm that’s fair

Lights.Camera.Action: 3 days with no school does sound pretty great

ShadowSister: Nanako no

Lights.Camera.Action: nanako yes

gumibear: one more for skipping

ShadowSister: Absolutely not.

ShadowSister: They’re working on this mission. Not relaxing. We should keep working ourselves.

ShadowSister: And you guys need to practice your techniques 

ShadowSister: Megumi, I know that you’re so close to taming Nue

ShadowSister: Nanako, weren’t you so excited to use the new camera Getou bought you?

ShadowSister: As for Mimiko

ShadowSister: You’re doing amazing!! ฅʕ•ᴥ•ʔฅ

mimi&co: ฅʕ•ᴥ•ʔฅ

Lights.Camera.Action: okay no skipping

gumibear: i think u have a curse technique 

gumibear: ‘curse speech of being a good samaritan’

ShadowSister: Or just common sense 

ShadowSister: Now quit texting and start getting ready for school

gumibear: tsk

ShadowSister: I’ll re-invite you to boba

gumibear: deal

A soft chuckle left Suguru’s lips as he read the group chat Satoru had made for themselves and the kids. He could always count on Tsumiki to prevent their younger ones from being irresponsible. She was a kind and respectful girl who kept her siblings in check. Especially her brother. Megumi was quite the menace despite what his calm demeanor would have you believe. The boy knew about the ‘mission’ they were on, and he still wanted to skip school. Ryomen had been pushed quite a lot in allowing Suguru, Satoru, Nanami, Shoko, and Megumi to know about the shrine and Yuuji’s existence. Having anyone else, even if it was Megumi’s sisters, aware of his home was too much for Ryomen. Nanako, Mimiko, and Tsumiki only knew Yuuji as the boy that Megumi tutors, nothing more. It did not feel, for lack of a better term, good to lie to his family, but Suguru did not have a choice. Megumi likely felt the same. While he was moody like any other preteen, he cared deeply for his sisters. Having to keep such secrets was straining. At least, it was for an important reason. 

Even so, Suguru hoped that Ryomen would have enough trust in him to tell his daughters after today. 

It was his turn to be tested, and Suguru knew that his ‘final exam’ would be much different than the others. He would not be facing any of the cursed souls like Nanami had, but Ryomen himself. The man had kept to his promise in training Suguru in the ways of martial arts and cursed energy. Ryomen was brutal with his teachings. Suguru had assumed that Ryomen’s teaching style would be far more nurturing based on how gentle he was with Yuuji. Oh, how wrong he was. The curse manipulator quickly learned that the softness Ryomen showed to Yuuji was exclusive to the boy and the boy alone. Whenever Yuuji was not the focus, Ryomen would become more temperamental and violent than Sukuna. 

Seeing the stark difference between Ryomen with Yuuji and Ryomen with everyone else made Suguru realize something. 

The King of Death. 

It was not just Sukuna’s title. 

It was also Ryomen’s.

When Suguru had told this to his friends, none of them were surprised. Ryomen’s tendency to be a mother hen vanished and was replaced with something far more callous the moment Yuuji was out of the room. The resentment that would appear in the pink-haired man’s expression was familiar to Suguru. He recognized such disgust because it was the same look Suguru would get when looking at non-sorcerers. Over the years, Suguru’s hatred for non-sorcerers had ebbed. Slightly. While he no longer wanted to kill all non-sorcerers, it did not mean that he let go of his old beliefs about protecting them. Tsumiki was the only exception. He would do anything for her, but all other non-sorcerers could rot for all he cared. The rest were monkeys. They would always be monkeys. The only difference now was that Suguru could see a non-sorcerer as a valuable person if they were good enough. Tsumiki was more than good enough to shed any semblance of ‘monkey’ from herself. Besides her, Suguru had not met any other monkey that could escape said title. 

His disgust for monkeys had been the focus of many training sessions with Ryomen. As it turned out, Ryomen held his own hatred for humanity. The difference was that the fire of Suguru’s hatred could be quelled by Satoru and his friends while Ryomen’s hatred had become an unstoppable inferno. Additionally, Ryomen only had Sukuna to talk to for hundreds of years. In terms of ethics or morals, Sukuna was not any better than Ryomen.  

At times, Suguru could not help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t had Satoru to bring him to the light. Would he have gone through with his plan to kill all non-sorcerers? Would he have been shunned from jujutsu society and labeled a curse user? Would Satoru have been sent to stop him if Suguru defected? Such questions haunted Suguru’s mind during sleepless nights. However, he would stop himself as he remembered the life he gained now. A life he would not have had if he chose to leave the day Satoru and Nanami called him for help. He was happy now. He had three daughters and a son. He had a boyfriend who was the love of his life. Yes, he had lost his goal to kill all monkeys, but he had gained so much more. Something so much better-

“If you tell me that Riko is a monkey who deserves to die, and you mean it whole-heartedly, then I will join you and help eradicate all non-sorcerers. I’ll even make a binding vow that will ensure my loyalty if you have doubts. Just tell me you hate Riko, and I’ll go with you to make your plans become a reality.”

Yet there were times where Suguru felt…unsatisfied. 

He kept feeling like he had failed in some way. Every time he was assigned a curse to exorcize, the plans he had thrown out came back with a vengeance. Haunting him. Tempting him. Wanting him to return to his initial goals. Reminding him that there would be no more curses if there were no more monkeys. Promising him a utopia to live in once all the non-sorcerers had been killed. 

“What makes you think a society of sorcerers would be better?!”

“If non-sorcerers are monkeys, then I’m a fucking monster!”

“WHAT DOES THAT MAKE THEN, HUH?!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY I WANT TO BE HUMAN?! I DON’T WANT TO BE SOME FUCKING WEAPON!”

“I NEVER ASKED TO BE A SORCERER, AND NON-SORCERERS DON’T CHOOSE TO SPAWN CURSES!”

“I’LL NEVER BE A HUMAN! NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY!”

“I’m a freak of nature. So…How can you hate non-sorcerers so much if I’m worse?”

No matter how many times his dark thoughts came back, there was always someone there to prove each belief wrong. Suguru held onto Satoru tightly from where they rested on the couch. His one and only. He would be that someone, time and time again, to remind Suguru about the good that’s worth protecting.

The good that Ryomen kept making him forget.

“Monkeys? You think non-sorcerers are monkeys? That’s an insult to every monkey on this planet.”

“Never forget that hatred. Use it. Control it. Make it the fuel that strengthens each strike.”

“Humans are selfish creatures. They only work in their own self interest. They are idiotic, cowardly, and cruel. The moment you forget that is the same moment that everything you’ve ever loved will be ripped away from you.” 

“Only a creature as powerless as a human would give into fear that would make them beat a child at any opportunity. And only because that child is different from the rest.”

“My son did not die of illness. He died because the humans of my village saw him as the spawn of a demon.”

“Non-sorcerers are not monkeys, child. They’re much, much less.”

“They’re maggots.”

A sudden shriek interrupted Suguru’s increasingly morose thoughts. Satoru ripped himself out of his partner’s arms while Shoko and Nanami shot up from their places on the wide couch. The sound was coming from down the hall where they all knew Yuuji rested. Without hesitation, the group ran to the child’s room to see what had happened. It was not a sound the boy had made, it was too animalistic to be human. 

Infinite was the only one who could make such a sound.

He shared a look with Satoru. “Do you sense anything different?”

“Yes and no. There aren't any new signatures that I can detect. But I think Nanami needs to be in the front.” Satoru’s fist clenched at his sides. The lighter and darker blues within his eyes clashed against each other like warring seas. It was something Suguru had yet to grow accustomed to, the lack of clarity and addition of darkness. When Satoru locked his gaze onto Suguru, the dark blue had seemingly won the battle as there was only a sliver of light blue left. “Stay in the back, Suguru. Yuuji…Yuuji-kun can’t see you or else his nightmare will get worse.”

“Why?” Suguru whispered. The four were now outside Yuuji’s door, able to hear the muffled voices of Ryomen and Sukuna arguing. Unease churned in his stomach. 

“...I just know.” The reply held none of Satoru’s typical humor. 

Nanami frowned at the vague answer, but he still moved to the front like the elder had asked. The day had barely started and Suguru felt like going back to bed already. He did not want to think about why Infinite had screeched, nor why Yuuji could not see him. Was Yuuji scared of him? Suguru had never seen any fear whenever the boy interacted with him. In fact, Yuuji always welcomed Suguru with hugs and giggles. The child even bought Suguru candies because he wanted to make the ‘yucky curse taste’ go away. It was a kind gift that did help Suguru be free of the taste of shit and vomit after he ingested a curse. Did Yuuji do that for him because he was scared? The thought made Suguru sick, but he knew that Satoru’s judgment was not to be doubted. 

Once Nanami opened the door, Suguru knew that Satoru had been right. 

Yuuji was sobbing into Sukuna’s arms as the curse cleaned the boy of the blood on his face. All of his guardians stayed close to offer as much comfort as they could to the poor child. However, his cries only grew louder. Ryomen was carding his fingers through his son's head as he tried to reassure him, to no avail. 

Then Yuuji’s eyes opened, instantly looking at Nanami. Chubby arms reached out to the blonde and the child let out a heartbroken wail. “N-NANAMIN!”

Once Sukuna released Yuuji, the boy sprinted over to Nanamin, burning his head into his legs. His arms were reaching towards Nanami insistently. The man picked him up without hesitation despite the tears and snot. Silence encompassed the room as, slowly but surely, Nanami calmed Yuuji down. It was the first time that the sorcerers had witnessed Yuuji be so upset. While Ryomen had mentioned the child’s tendency to have nightmares, they never thought that they could be this intense. In addition, Yuuji had cried for Nanami with a desperation that disturbed Suguru. He had heard the same desperation in his own voice after Toji told him that he had killed Gojo Satoru. The desperation that only appeared when you could no longer see someone because they were dead. 

He was not the only one who had the same thought. Ryomen was boring a hole into Suguru. The temperature of the room began to rise as Ryomen stood up and walked to the curse manipulator. 

Ryomen placed a hand on Suguru’s shoulder. “We’re going.”

And Suguru did nothing to stop him.

Neither spoke, too overwhelmed with what they had just witnessed to speak. They made their way through the hall until Ryomen’s training dojo was in sight. He did not need to say anything for Suguru to change out of his pajamas with the spare change of clothes he kept. The moment he finished changing, the heat in the room skyrocketed. Ryomen’s body was trembling in barely contained fury. 

“Your test starts now.” Ryomen said, tone free of all emotions. 

“What must I do to pass?”

“Don’t think about that. Don’t think about anything.”

Something happened. Something must have happened for Ryomen to act so rashly. He had heard Sukuna and Ryomen arguing before they entered, but Suguru could not hear what it was about. Even so, the long-haired man breathed deeply. He cleared his mind as ordered. Clearing his mind of the kids, of Satoru’s ominous words, of Yuuji’s terrified cires, of the guilt threatening to swallow Suguru whole. Everything. “Alright.”

“Good. Now,” he paused as vibrant, orange flames encompassed Ryomen’s fists, “take a stance.” 

Suguru allowed the dark shadow of his own cursed energy to cover his entire arms. It was a technique that Ryomen had invented himself. One fueled by hatred. Despite himself, Suguru smiled. “I’m ready when you are, Sensei.”

An equally viscous smile split across Ryomen’s face. “Then let’s begin. Allow yourself to forget the morals that have been ingrained into your mind. There is no need for understanding or compassion in this room. It’s a simple place to be your worst self. A self free of all limitations.” The man stopped to gaze knowingly at Suguru. His numb tone was replaced with the same viciousness of the fire he wielded. “What will you imagine as you strike me, boy? I know I am imagining maggots.”

“Monkeys.”

“Hm. You always do.”

“And I always will.”

-Four Years Ago-

“Why haven’t I heard of this technique before?” Suguru’s voice both held awe and skepticism. His hands, which were on his lap, twitched with the intense desire to note down every word Ryomen was saying. However, the elder had told him that he was not allowed to record any of his teachings. It was frustrating, but Suguru knew better than to refuse the paranoid sorcerer. 

Pride shimmered in Ryomen’s eyes as he answered. “Because it is one I created.”

Questions flooded into the black-haired man’s mind. Creating a technique was something that was considered impossible amongst jujutsu sorcerers. A sorcerer was born with their technique, and there was no alternative. It was this fact that made inheriting techniques so important that clans would refuse to intermingle with one another to keep their bloodline ‘pure’. Those with powerful techniques were seen as superior and acted as such, leading to the development of the Big Three Families: the Kamo Clan, the Zenin Clan, and the Gojo Clan. However, it did make sense that such a terrible hierarchy would encourage others to find ways to improve their own techniques or become stronger. It led to the creation of Simple Domain and cursed weapons. Using new ways to better one’s technique was common, but creating an entirely new technique with no pre-existing foundations was not. Though, it was possible that Ryomen had used something to form the technique. What that was…Suguru almost did not want to know.

In the privacy of Ryomen’s personal dojo, the elder appeared the most relaxed Suguru had ever seen him. It left Suguru feeling uneasy. Ryomen was more calm, yes, but there was a rage simmering beneath the surface that the man was seconds from unleashing. The room suddenly heated up as Ryomen gazed at him with amusement. 

“I can see a million questions flying around in that head of yours.” His tone was teasing, yet his smile was sharp. With a sigh, Ryomen stood up and approached a wall that had displays of various weapons, mostly daggers. He approached the largest knife at the center of the wall and pulled as if it was a lever. A click sounded, and Suguru gasped at the sight. What was once a solid wall had now split in half to reveal a hidden treasure that made bile rise in his throat. It could only be considered treasure in someone’s deepest nightmares. Behind the wall was not a prized blade or jewels or anything remotely valuable. Horrific was the only word to describe what was behind the wall. 

Bones.

Hundreds of them.

Skulls, femurs, phalanges, jaws, and so much more.

And they were human.

Every single one was human.

“What…What is this?” Suguru whispered shakily. 

There was no emotion in Ryomen’s voice. “It’s the remains of all who had tried to kill me. Sorcerers and non-sorcerers alike. Don’t fret, there’s no children in there. Even I would not stoop that low.” 

“That doesn’t make any of this any better! Why did you-”

“Keep their bones?” Ryomen interrupted with a scowl. He quickly schooled his expression before picking up a random skull. After rotating it in his hands for a few moments, the elder turned to look at Suguru. “Tell me, boy, what do you think cursed energy is?”

While Suguru did not want to answer, his curiosity pushed him to see where the conversation would lead. “It is a powerful energy source that stems from intense negative emotions and beliefs. Sorcerers are able to wield it in certain ways while none-sorcerers generate the cursed energy. Curses are born when there is an abundance of cursed energy.” The answer came easily as it was one of the first things he was taught when he first discovered his technique. 

A hum of approval came from the pink-haired man. “Everything you said was technically correct, but there is much you have yet to learn. Cursed energy is not just spawned of negativity, it is a part of nature. It belongs in this world as much as light or sound energy. The only difference is that it was not allowed to grow any stronger due to Tengen’s damn barriers.” His grip on the skull grew tight, making Suguru fear that it would shatter under the pressure. Ryomen then released his hold to place the skull onto the floor where they had once been sitting. The sorcerer sat down with an expectant look that Suguru reluctantly gave into. Now sat, Ryomen pressed a finger on the top of the skull. “Light, sound, heat, wind, electrical, chemical, and countless more are forms of energy we are familiar with. Cursed energy is meant to be an energy formed from death. Over the years, it has been changed to negative emotions by the elders. They did not want the knowledge being spread as it would have led to massacres by those who wished for power…”

Which is what you had done. Suguru kept the thought to himself, knowing that he was in a tense situation that could grow worse if he antagonized Ryomen. An image formed in his head. The painting of the ‘Scorned’ sat atop a throne of bones while Sukuna loomed over him. All this time, he had thought that the image was only showcasing a myth, that it was exaggerating certain aspects of Ryomen’s history to appear more threatening. It was never an exaggeration, and Suguru suddenly felt quite claustrophobic. He needed to leave, warn the others or prepare to attack, but his limbs refused to move. The curse manipulator did the only thing he could do: analyze and learn. “How exactly does cursed energy come from death?”

“Interested, aren’t you? I’m relieved I do not need to waste any more time to convince you of the truth. Death is a part of life, a part of nature, a part of this world. You cannot have life without death. Energy comes from many living things, and the same is reflected to those that have passed on. Our bodies spend constant energy to keep us going. When we die, the energy must go somewhere, so it exits the body as cursed energy. The belief of negative emotions being its source stems from the fact that many people die with regrets, anger, or fear. Have you ever wondered why you feel exhausted after an emotional outbursts? Many animals cannot cry as it can dehydrate them, yet humans do it all the time. Our brains only want to survive, so it would not make sense to waste resources like water due to emotional pain. Unless our emotions are seen as equally important as keeping our hearts beating. Energy is put into our grief like it is put into making your legs move. Combine the energy of our final feelings as we die and the leftover energy our body has left and cursed energy is formed.”

“Then why do schools produce cursed energy if they are not surrounded by death?”

“Have you ever been in class and silently wished for death? Have you ever said you will kill yourself if you fail an upcoming test? Have you ever wanted to die instead of doing a tedious project or presenting in front of the classroom?” Even though Suguru was silent, Ryomen had already gotten his answer. He sighed again, placing his hands in his lap. “When you are young, death is not seen as something terrifying. It’s being hurt that scares a child as pain is far easier to grasp than the concept of dying. The sentiments of death draw in nearby cursed energy like a magnet. Everything we do costs energy, even thinking. That small piece of energy acts like a lighthouse used for boats. Unlike other types of energy, cursed energy can act on impulses. Similar to a brainless jellyfish. It just knows what it needs to do.”

“What about other negative emotions unrelated to death?”

“Well, death is mainly seen as something negative. Like I said before, a living being often dies with regrets or shame. Animals will usually feel fear before death. Those witnessing a loved one die would not be jumping for joy, no?”

“So those emotions are what attract cursed energy, but they will not create cursed energy unless they die?”

“Exactly. Cursed energy is only released in death, but the cursed energy that already exists tends to travel towards places associated with the negative emotions death brings.” 

“...And the bones?”

Ryomen went quiet, clearly thinking hard on how to phrase his next words. He could see the poorly hidden disgust and fear within Suguru’s eyes. However, the man was not going to stop now that he had started. This was important, and Suguru was the one who needed to learn this technique the most. After learning of the boy’s past, Ryomen knew that Suguru was the only person who he could convince to see reason. Suguru had hate in his heart. It was obvious from the moment Ryomen had met him. It was something they had in common. The boy had potential, immense potential, but he was being held back by morality. Specifically, the morality his friends instilled in him. No matter. 

Suguru would succumb to his hatred at some point, it was inevitable. 

As Ryomen picked up the skull again, he continued. “Cursed energy lingers, especially in the remains of the dead. Even in a skull as old as this, there are traces of it to use. Cursed Extraction is the technique I created to absorb the energy from the dead and use it to strengthen my own innate technique. As long as one can wield cursed energy, they can extract it.” To emphasize his point, the skull was enveloped in a bright blue flame, the most common color of cursed energy. He summoned an orange flame in his unoccupied hand. Slowly, the blue flame grew smaller as the orange flame grew larger. The cursed energy was being absorbed. “It improves your techniques, opens doors that would have stayed closed, and makes you the most powerful person in any room.” The blue flame then went out. Immediately, golden flames erupted from Ryomen’s palm. The heat was nearly unbearable as the fire twisted itself into a whirlpool of flames with them in the center. “Cursed Technique Extension is only possible after Cursed Extraction, and you have the highest likelihood of mastering it. You only have to listen.” 

The fire went out, yet Suguru continued to sweat bullets. Ryomen had wordlessly shown him how easily he could kill him with the Extraction technique. It was both a threat to his life and a promise of the power Suguru could wield. All he had to do was take from the dead. 

He…wasn’t as put off about it as he thought. 

Nanami, Shoko, and Satoru would have refused to hear another word after seeing the bones, but Suguru was never like them. They were good people, and he had finally accepted that he was not. He likely never was. Suguru pushed away the mental voices of his friends telling him to leave or not accept Ryomen’s offer to teach him. If they found out, then they would hate him. However, Suguru would do anything to protect them…and the temptation was too strong to ignore. This was Suguru’s chance to grow stronger. “Fine. Show me how.”

A grin flashed across Ryomen’s face. “Good. Let’s begin, shall we?”

Suguru had not hated himself this much in years. “Of course.”

“Hm. The first step I would like you to do is summon a curse, it does not matter what grade it is. Anything will do.”

The black haired man obeyed and manifested a Fly Head, he had hoards of them so parting with one would do no harm. It shrieked and hissed, swinging its bulbous head around to observe its surroundings. Even so, it stayed by Suguru’s side like a dutiful soldier. They were the weakest curses around, but their swarms had proven useful on many occasions. No matter how much he wanted to, Suguru could never forget the horror he had felt when Toji described each inch of his plan to kill Satoru while they fought in Tengen’s Corridors. As Toji had no cursed energy of his own due to a Heavenly Restriction, the assassin had summoned a swarm of Fly Heads to overwhelm Satoru’s already strained Six Eyes. He hid himself and his cursed weapon amongst the flies in order to attack Satoru from behind. Stabbing him again and again and again. Years had passed since then, and Satoru would still wake up screaming about trying to find Toji. Underneath his clothes and hair, Satoru was covered in the scars of Toji’s attack: the multiple stab wounds on his right thigh, the long slice from his throat to his stomach, and the strike through his head. If Satoru had learned how to use reverse cursed technique before receiving those injuries, then there would have been no scars. However, Satoru’s first time using reverse curse technique was when he was on the brink of death. Suguru had scars of his own, a large ‘X’ across his chest, but he had wanted them to scar on purpose. He only allowed Shoko to stop the bleeding with her healing, nothing more. After Riko and Satoru…Suguru had wanted to hurt as a reminder of what had happened, how he had failed to stop that monkey from killing them. 

So, no, Suguru would never underestimate Fly Heads. Never again. 

Rage made all of his doubts disappear. Every reminder of Toji brought back the vengeful teenager he used to be. For now, he would let that part of himself have the death he desired. As if sensing his murderous thoughts, the Fly Head he’d summoned quivered in fear. He ignored the curse with ease. “What comes next?”

“Kill it and absorb the cursed energy it was made of. Not in your usual way, mind you. With my help, you will never need to consume a vile cursed spirit ever again.” The glint in Ryomen’s eyes was protective. It was the same way he would look at Yuuji and, on a few occasions, Satoru. It was very confusing for Suguru. For one, he was surrounded by the skeletal remains of humans. On the other hand, it felt incredible to have someone want to help him. When Ryomen pointed at the Fly Head, the tips of his fingers were glowing a faint orange. “The corpses of sorcerers provide the most cursed energy, but you have an army of curses at your disposal. The quantity makes up for it. Humans provide cursed energy as well, along with all living things, but that is too advanced for where you are now.”

“How do I go about absorbing it?”

“Once you kill the curse, you will only have seconds to absorb its energy before it disappears. In order to make every drop of cursed energy come to you, you must become a lighthouse of death and negativity. Put yourself in the darkest place in your mind. Remember, death brings feelings of not just sadness or regret, but hatred, anger, resentment, or wrath. I suggest you meditate and reflect on the times you have been closest to death. Take as long as you need to get there. When you do, kill the Fly Head and extract its energy.” There was a pause. “Be careful. A reason that this technique is so abhorred is that many died trying to do this. In their attempt to become one with death, they succumbed to it. Remember your sense of self. If you don’t, your soul could be lost and your life with it.”

While Ryomen’s words were not comforting, Suguru appreciated that they were honest. There was no use sugarcoating it. Suguru was agreeing to perform a technique so vile that it had been outlawed and left to be forgotten. He would be desecrating the skeletons of the people Ryomen had killed. Were they all old kills or were they new? Both? How many people had died to provide extra power to Ryomen? Sorcerers encountered death on a daily basis, but it was rarely in the form of murder. They did not hurt one of their own. And here Suguru was learning how to use their bodies for his  own advantage…

Satoru, Shoko, and Nanami could never know. 

With that, Suguru closed his eyes and thought of all the times he had encountered death.

When he was eight-years-old one of his tutors was teaching him about the history of Jujutsu Tech. The man was prattling on about the architects who built some special building that Suguru cared nothing about. His tutor was old, looking once second from passing away. He was all wrinkles and shaky hands. Even so, he was very strict when he needed to be. Suguru’s hands still stung after the lashing he had received yesterday from his tutor’s wooden ruler. Since he was not paying attention, Suguru knew he would be hit eventually. Deciding to start daydreaming, Suguru glanced at a window that showed a bright sky he missed. He had intended on zoning out for the rest of the lecture, but Suguru was broken out of his daydreams when he heard a thud. It was his tutor. Collapsed on the floor. Not moving. Not breathing. Instead of screaming in terror, Suguru simply looked at the body. Completely frozen. It was his mother, who came to check in, who sprang into action and called an ambulance. However, the tutor was already dead. The cause was a heart attack. His parents cried at the tutor’s funeral, but Suguru never did. 

The same thing happened whenever a family member or family friend died. Suguru would simply become a statue that did not speak or cry. He only moved when one of his parents came to carry him away. 

During a particularly harsh winter, Suguru caught an illness that made him hospitalized for three months. It was a form of pneumonia that Suguru could no longer remember the specifics of. All he knew was that it felt like he could not breathe for weeks. There was one day in the hospital where Suguru was alone for once. He had been sitting in bed, struggling to focus on reading a book, when his chest seized. A violent coughing fit overwhelmed his weak body. It felt like glass was in his lungs. At the time, Suguru had been too panicked to press the button that would have alerted the nurses. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get a single breath in. Both of his nostrils were clogged and breathing through his mouth was impossible due to his uncontrollable coughing. Terror gripped him as black spots littered his vision. He was running out of air and fast. Suguru desperately tried to clear his nose, but it did not work. When his oxygen ran out, Suguru remembered the pain disappearing into tranquility. Everything was blurry, yet Suguru felt the most at ease he had ever felt. However, a nurse soon came rushing in and helped him regain consciousness. Suguru still remembered how disappointed he had been that he had been dragged out of his peace. 

Once he became a sorcerer, killing curses never bothered him. At that point in his life, Suguru grew numb to risking his life every day. He had grown used to it after his tutors dragged him to the worst places to absorb curses with no help. Dying to protect people from curses was something noble in Suguru’s eyes. He used to look at his fallen comrades and feel nothing but respect for their efforts. Admiration for their dedication. He used to be so blind…

Then Riko died in front of him. It was not like the time where his old tutor succumbed to a heart attack. Dying from a heart attack was natural. In addition, the man had already lived a full life. Riko hadn’t. She was ripped away from it by a bullet to her brain. For a split second, Suguru had frozen again. What broke him out was when he turned to see the smug expression of the killer’s face. Toji. He felt no remorse over what he had done. Killing a child meant nothing to him. Toji had bragged about killing Satoru as well. Like he was proud of himself. An indescribable rage filled Suguru. Instead of the typical heat one associated with rage, Suguru had only felt cold. The same tranquility he had felt when he was about to suffocate returned to him. It calmed his mind and sharpened his focus. The seed of hatred that had always been there within Suguru had sprouted to its fullest extent as he battled Toji. He wanted that man to die. There was not a single thought of sparing him or making him see the ‘wrongs’ in his ways. No. Suguru did not want to help Toji. Suguru wanted, no, needed for him to suffer. Despite giving the fight of his life, Toji escaped with the smug smile that had never left his face. 

“You should thank your parents. But the blessed like you still lost to me, a monkey that can’t even use Jujutsu. If you want to live longer, remember this.” 

Death was freeing. 

There were many times throughout Suguru’s life where he thought he would be better off dead, wanting that peace he had briefly touched when he was young. The work of a sorcerer was not for the faint of heart. Every day, you were forced to fight horrific monsters or see your comrades being killed by said monster. Sorcerers would never hear a ‘thank you’ as they needed to work behind closed doors. They would have to deal with disrespect from the people they were trying to help. No one could ever be as bad as the higher-ups, though. Every one of them saw a sorcerer as a tool to be used, nothing more. It did not matter if the sorcerer had family, friends, or children. The elders would assign them on mission after mission until they died. It was always the lives of non-sorcerers above their own. 

Haibara had been just another number on the list of casualties for Jujutsu Society. The boy had been so bright and kind. He would have succeeded in any profession he put his mind to, but he chose to be a jujutsu sorcerer. The only job where death was a guarantee. If he had never been a sorcerer, Haibara would have still been alive, likely spreading his joy to others in need. Instead, he was killed brutally due to the incompetence of the elders. It showed just who the elders prioritized: themselves. None of them cared to learn the names of the hundreds who died for their cause. All the elders were more than content to sit upon their thrones behind the doors that prevented anyone from entering. They never showed their faces, which only further proved how little they cared. Special-grade sorcerers were the only ones that the higher-ups paid attention to due to the sole fact that special-grades could threaten their control. 

They didn’t care about the tears Nanami shed when his best friend died. They didn’t care about the innocence lost when they forced a child to become a sorcerer. They didn’t care about the blood spilled in the fight against curses. They didn’t care about how much their sorcerers screamed at night, how much pain their sorcerers endured, how terrified their sorcerers were each day on the field, how overworked their assistant directors are, how their sorcerers were dying due to their mistakes, and how their best sorcerers were treated lower than dirt. 

All they wanted was for their perfect soldiers to do their job without complaint. 

If one pawn fell, then another would be there to replace it. 

Did they ever feel guilt about the lives they had doomed? 

Were they haunted by the blood spilled under their orders?

The most likely answer was no.

For Suguru, he could not have a day where he did not think about the deaths of those he once cherished. When he showered, there were times where the water felt like blood dripping down his back, staining his skin, getting into his hair. The blood was from many places: the gaping hole in Riko’s forehead, the shredded remains of Haibara’s abdomen, and the pool of blood underneath Satoru’s limp body. Once the water grew cold, Suguru was reminded of the lack of warmth when he held Riko and Haibara’s hands. Cold as death. More than anything, what haunted Suguru the most was the plan he never executed. 

He knew how awful his plan was. It was a massacre of all non-sorcerers, children included. But he was stopped before he even started. His children and Satoru mattered more to him, yet there were days where the hatred grew too strong to ignore. He would remember the deaths of his classmates and friends. The worst part was that there was a way to prevent people like Haibara from never being killed again. Knowing how to stop something was always a valuable asset. Not being allowed to stop something despite knowing how was equivalent to torture. 

Monkeys dying meant sorcerers surviving.

Suguru wanted many people to die, but he could do nothing about it. 

Death. It was cold yet inviting. Freeing yet lonely. Peaceful yet destructive. 

How he wished to see Toji die again…How he wished to slaughter each person applauding for Riko’s death. 

He hated them.

He didn’t even know who ‘them’ was.

But he hated them all the same.

One day, he would get his chance to kill them. One day, he, Satoru, Shoko, and Nanami would be free of Jujutsu Society forever. 

Their pain would end. 

He just needed to grow strong enough. 

The Fly Head buzzed in fright. 

Suguru killed it in seconds. 

“Extract the cursed energy.” Ryomen said calmly. 

Now that he had returned to the present, Suguru noticed an emptiness within his chest. It was impossible to ignore, feeling like it was growing wider and wider. The void wanted to be filled, so he gave into the desire. 

It burned. 

“Keep going. Do not stop under any circumstances!”

It felt like his veins were being flooded with fire. Suguru was burning from the inside out, yet his body began to shiver as if he was out in a blizzard. The tips of his fingers throbbed as if they had touched a stove top. Within him, he could feel the curses within him writhe and shriek from the pain Suguru was going through. Thousands of screams echoed for release, but Suguru did not listen. He could feel the void in his chest filling and the pain lessening. 

“You’re almost done.” 

His teeth creaked from how hard his jaw was clenching. Fortunately, the fire and agony disappeared not long after. When he opened eyes he had not realized he’d closed, Suguru noticed the dark shadow covering his arms. If he gazed closely, he could see movements rippling beneath the darkness, his arsenal of curses were ready for when he needed them. He mentally called upon a curse, one that looked like a skeletal bear covered in ice, and recoiled in surprise when both of his arms were replaced with ice covered bones and claws. “Swapping limbs with my own curses…I’ve never thought of doing that.” 

“That was because you were unable to. I take it, you see the value of my technique?” 

“I do.” Suguru could not keep his gaze off of his arms. He felt…powerful, and it only cost one Fly Head! None of his friends would think twice about killing a curse. “Perhaps you can introduce the others to this technique using one of my curses as the cursed energy source.”

Ryomen went silent as he thought it over. Having stronger protection for Yuuji was never something to deny. It was an easy decision to make. “Alright, we’ll use your curses. I hope I do not need to tell you to not tell them anything about the other source, right?”

“Of course not. No one will know.” 

“Let’s hope it stays that way.”

-Present Day-

Suguru grunted as he was thrown onto the hard ground. Dirt flew everywhere, getting into his eyes and mouth. They had moved Suguru’s final test to an abandoned field where no one would see or hear them. It was the umpteenth time that he had been launched several feet, but he recovered quickly. 

As he got up, Ryomen spoke up. “Suguru, I need you to answer this question honestly.”

He wiped his scratched hands on his pants, an uneasy feeling already pooling in his gut. “What is it?”

“When does somebody deserve to die?”

Oh. It was a question Suguru had not expected. His eyes widened in shock, but he kept his composure. The answer was a complicated one. It was something Suguru had wondered about constantly. He would spend hours debating himself on the ethics or morality of execution. Additionally, Yaga had given them lessons on how to deal with curse users. Killing was part of a sorcerer’s job. Over the years, Suguru realized that sorcerer’s did kill each other. He had been a fool to believe otherwise. They killed inhuman curses and they often killed one of their own. There were nights where he raged at jujutsu sorcery as a whole, hating them almost as much as he hated monkeys. Unlike most sorcerers, Suguru was a special grade. The power difference between him and a first-grade sorcerer could not be overlooked. Of course, no one had more power than Satoru as he was in a league of his own. No matter how much Satoru insisted on them being the same. Nevertheless, Suguru knew he was stronger than a majority of sorcerers. In their society, strength meant everything, and Suguru could kill hundreds of people without much difficulty. 

But how he killed someone wasn’t the question. It was when. When does somebody’s life get revoked? Several answers popped in his head, each one bloodier than the last. “It depends, Sensei. You and I both know that there are people who we want to live just like there are people we wish to kill.”

Ryomen hummed. “That is a clever answer, boy. You enjoy thinking of the specifics in any situation, no matter how insignificant. I can respect the caution, but too many questions can grow tiresome-” He stopped as a single raindrop hit his nose. It seemed like the sky wanted to match the ominous environment he had created. The sprinkle would turn into a downpour soon, so he should stop stalling. “I asked you that question for a reason. I wanted to know if it will take a millennia of mistakes until you believe a person deserves to die. Though, I am aware that you are likely the opposite. You were willing to kill non-sorcerer children for simply existing. I was curious to see where the bar lied and if it had changed…Has it?”

Memories of the intense fight he had with Satoru that day in the forest flooded him. It was that day where Suguru dropped his plan altogether. From then on, Suguru had returned to helping non-sorcerer through killing curses. The only things that had changed were his appearance and attitude. Additionally, his friends and he had many heart to hearts about all that had happened to them. It was those moments of affection, trust, and care that made the hope Suguru lost begin to return. Hope for humanity. Hope for himself. Hope for the future. Suguru knew that his friends were destined for greatness. When he learned of Satoru’s plan to become a teacher, Suguru had agreed to join him on the spot. Satoru, his one and only, wanted things to change, and he knew that killing all the elders wouldn’t solve anything. 

“I want to kill them, Suguru. Especially Gakuganji, don’t even get me started on that useless, old fart. It would be so easy, but I know I shouldn’t. And I won’t. The change won’t last if I kill them. Sure, we’ll probably have a few years of peace, yet I know that there will be replacements as bad as the original elders were.” The ice cream in Satoru’s hand was beginning to melt, causing him to take a moment to eat his dessert properly. His unoccupied hand was in Suguru’s. It had been Satoru’s idea to go out for ice cream after seeing that Suguru was having a particularly hard day. Suguru had already finished his own cone while Satoru’s was on his fourth. He squeezed his hand reassuringly. “If change is done by force, there will be resentment and likely people wanting revenge. I don’t want that, Suguru. If I want to change things, I have to do it right. The best way to do that is focusing on the next generation. I want to teach them how to defend themselves, protect them from the higher-up’s corruption, and still let them have a childhood. I know I’ll probably be a terrible teacher, but I want to try.”

Blue eyes locked onto Suguru’s brown. Ever since he had woken up, painful memories of the past kept tormenting him. However, looking at Satoru always helped in lessening the ache. He processed the other’s words and found himself smiling. No matter how he tried to deny it, Satoru was a sweetheart beneath the layers of arrogance and flippancy. Teaching the future generation was actually…a brilliant idea. One that Suguru had not even considered. Rebuilding their world from the ground up was far better than toppling it all down. Suguru had wanted people to die for his plan while Satoru wanted to help. The difference made guilt simmer in his chest. He still had those moments where he felt like a fraud or a monster. Today was one of those days. 

“Hey, look at me, Ru.”

“Ew. What have I told you about that nickname? It’s awful.” Suguru immediately turned to glare at his partner. 

“But it got your attention, didn’t it?” Satoru winked with his trademark smirk. Any anger that Suguru could have felt disappeared when Satoru kissed his cheek. He was truly wrapped around Satoru’s finger, a total goner…and he didn’t mind one bit. 

Suguru broke eye contact. The raw care in Satoru’s eyes was too much for him to take. “I suppose. While I’ve never imagined you as a teacher, I think you’ll be an excellent one. Perhaps Megumi will be in your class once he’s older.”

“Oh my god, that would be hilarious!” Giggles escaped Satoru’s lips. When he calmed down, his voice became soft. It was rare for Satoru to speak gently. He only did so when he was with Suguru, Shoko, or Nanami and was feeling vulnerable. “You don’t have to…but I know how patient you are with the kids. I see how you care for us and how well you teach them when they’re confused about homework. I can’t do that. I can’t explain things like you do or even sit still long enough to give a lesson. It’s definitely selfish of me to want you to be a teacher too. We can both teach the new generation, and they’ll be the greatest sorcerers in history because we’d be teaching them! Just think about it?”

Becoming a teacher would be a massive change, but Suguru had nothing else going for him. He did want to do more than kill curses all day. And he’d be spending even more time with Satoru, which was always a positive. If Satoru wanted him to be by his side, then Suguru would be there for as long as he wanted him. “Sure, why not? My students will have far better grades than yours.”

“No, they’ll be strong AND smart!”

“Unlike you?”

“Hey!”

“It has changed.” Suguru finally replied. The bar had been raised by his friends, and he knew that they would never allow him to pull it down. 

“Has it?” The look in Ryomen’s eye was analyzing. He walked towards the curse manipulator until they were only a few feet apart. Rain was beginning to soak them both, but neither cared. “You have had no trouble lying to your friends about the truth behind my Extension Technique. I’ve heard you rant about your hatred for monkey’s time and time again. Your capability and willingness to cause violence are all determined by your feelings. Biases. Your killings are personal.”

There was no use denying it because it was true. His hatred for monkeys stemmed from the deep hatred he developed after Toji assassinated Riko and Satoru. Even if it was for a second or less, Satoru had died. He came back, yes, but Suguru could not ignore the fact that Satoru was killed by a monkey. After Haibara’s death, Suguru wanted revenge against the ones who were responsible for curses in the first place: non-sorcerers. It had been personal. It had always been personal. “What point are you trying to make?”

“There were only three terms you had to follow if you wanted to have an alliance with Sukuna and me. One, you cannot tell anyone else about the location of the shrine. Two, you cannot tell anyone about Yuuji’s existence. Three, which is the most vital, you must protect Yuuji with your lives.” Hisses of steam were heard as the rain droplets evaporated against Ryomen’s scalding-hot skin. Ryomen clenched his fists and moved into a fighting stance. “A battle is on the horizon, and I need to know if you will be loyal to us. Are you willing to kill for me? Are you willing to betray others in order to protect Yuuji? If I tell you to destroy a town, will you do it?”

“I-”

Whatever words Suguru was about to say were ripped away from him as Ryomen sent a fist into his gut. It was easy to forget that Ryomen was just as fast as Sukuna. This was the first time they were fighting in an open space, and Suguru was widely unprepared. Like a ragdoll, he was tossed into the ground. His body ached, but he would not be going down. If Ryomen wanted a fight, so be it. 

Cursed Manipulation Extension: Replace. This was Suguru’s test, and tests were meant to show how much you had learned. A protective armor of stone covered his arms. It was originally from a first-grade curse he was tasked to exercise after a cave-in at an abandoned mine. Apparently, it used to be a popular spot for unruly teens to escape to. Their deaths birthed a huge curse made of rocks and the wooden beams that had once supported the mine shaft. He would need the extra protection as he could already feel the rain pouring on him begin to heat up. It would soon reach the temperature of boiling water, and Suguru preferred to avoid getting burned. 

He launched himself forward, keeping his body low. Nanami had almost died in his fight with the cursed souls. Ryomen would be just as merciless. The heated rain was proof that Ryomen wanted to burn Suguru. The pain would distract him and give the older an opening that would be fatal. It was already tedious. Steam billowed in every direction as Ryomen grew hotter and hotter and hotter. As Ryomen’s flames were a manifestation of his cursed energy, it did not have the same properties as a natural fire. Nothing could put it out. His hair, drenched from the rain, made his scalp throb with pain. Blisters were already forming, and the battle had barely started. 

As much as it hurt, he had to focus. Ignore the pain. Keep moving. 

“SHOW ME THAT VIOLENCE, BOY! WHY ELSE WOULD I KEEP YOU AROUND?”

“BECAUSE YOUR SON NEEDS THE PROTECTION!” All he could hear was the loud beating of his own heart, drowning out all other sounds. Suguru shielded his face with his curse’s armor and sweeped his leg across the muddy ground. As Ryomen moved back to dodge it, a gaping  maw appeared out of the dirt. He fell into the hole, eyes wide with shock. It felt like he was falling in an endless abyss. 

Until it disappeared.

The feeling of falling disappeared as soon as it started. 

It gave Suguru the chance he needed. With his armored hand, he swung his first across Ryomen’s jaw. An audible crack came afterwards as Ryomen’s head snapped to the side. Finally, the rain returned to its original temperature. 

“My companions and I have been dedicated to helping your son since the day we met! We have agreed to suffer through your training, risked our reputations by lying to our superiors, and always respected your desire for secrecy! What more do you want?!” It was stupid to anger Ryomen any further. Very stupid. Even so, Suguru continued to yell. A momentary lapse had occurred with Ryomen’s broken jaw. He needed to take advantage of it. “What will it take for you to see that I hate jujutsu sorcery as much as you do?!”

A gasp sound was his response. Suguru thought that Ryomen was about to throw up, but the longer the straining exhales lasted, the less likely it was. Ryomen turned to face him with a river of blood cascading down his mouth. The rough gasps were not from nausea. No. Despite having a broken and dislocated jaw, Ryomen was laughing. It suddenly occurred to Suguru that he had rarely seen Ryomen laugh before. Why the hell is he laughing?! 

Another sickening crack with the addition of a squelch made Suguru shiver. Without any signs of pain, Ryomen reseted his jaw with brute force. When he spoke, his voice was slightly slurred. For the first time, Suguru wondered about Ryomen’s sanity. “Very good. How about we shake things up, hm? I will not stop attacking until you have answered my remaining questions or until you have died.”

“How is this a test?! You’re just using me to distract yourself from what happened in Yuuji’s room!” Shit. Shit. Shit. That was the worst thing to say! Ryomen had centuries of battle experience. Why couldn’t he shut his stupid mouth?!

“Of course, I’m using you.” Ryomen responded with surprisingly no anger. It made Suguru tense even further. When someone with a temper as bad as Ryomen grew calm, the worst was to be expected. “Child, you are far more powerful than you give yourself credit for. You can kill all non-sorcerers, but you haven’t. Why?”

“Is that the first question?”

“It is.” 

Suguru prepared himself for the heat, for the burning, yet nothing came. Instead, it was ice. Each droplet turned into a blade that pierced every inch of Suguru’s body. His clothes protected him from the worst of it, but his entire head had no covering. He dismissed the stone armor to regain his full dexterity. 

He was already shivering. 

Focus. 

Unbothered by the drop in temperature, Ryomen surged forward again. He sent palm strikes against the younger’s back, hits to his stomach and chest, kicks behind his knees and at his hips, and chops all over his body. Throughout it all, Suguru did his best to dodge, ducking and weaving gracefully. It was satisfying when Suguru got a few hits himself. 

And the cold worsened. 

His fingers went numb and made his attacks sloppy. 

“Don’t tell me that you didn't know I could control the cold as I do heat. Just as your partner can use the reversal of his Blue, I can use the reversal of my flames.” 

“Cursed technique r-reversal. Of course, you’d know it.” His trembling was almost violent now. 

“Yes. Reverse cursed technique and cursed technique reversal are two different things. Both are very important.” A long sigh left the pink-haired man. “You have yet to answer my question.” He sent a vicious hit against Suguru’s left side. “Why.”

Disorientated by the cold, Suguru took a few seconds to realize what Ryomen was talking about. When Ryomen moved to strike him again, Suguru managed to grab the other’s wrist, pulling it downwards. “I abandoned my plan. It wasn’t worth continuing once I realized what I’d lose if I committed to it.” He then pushed Ryomen away to create distance. They circled one another, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

“What would you have lost?” Their circling grew slower. 

“My family. Satoru would never look at me again if I killed all non-sorcerers.” His eyes were in an intense staring match with Ryomen. Looking away for even a second could be the difference between life and death. He quietly gathered his cursed energy for an attack he had only managed to pull off once. “Shoko and Nanami as well. They would hate me for the rest of my life…And I have a daughter who is a non-sorcerer. I could never bring myself to hurt her. The utopia intended to create would not be complete without her in it.”

Slowly, the hard edges Ryomen showcased began to soften. “That is an answer I can accept. However, I can’t help but wonder what you would be willing to do if their lives were in danger.” Any gentleness disappeared the moment those words were uttered. 

“Is that a threat.” The curse manipulator demanded with a snarl. He summoned the seam that hid one of his largest curses. Its gnarled claws poked through, wanting to maim and kill. 

With a wave of his hands, Ryomen summoned a ring of fire. The flames rose high enough that there was no way for Suguru to jump over without help. Due to the gray sky above them and the dead field they stood on, the fire was the most colorful and brightest thing around. Each droplet of water reflected the amber hue of the flames. “I would never hurt your children, that I can swear on. What I need you to do, child, is understand why I am pushing you so much. You’ve felt the rage that comes when one of your own is killed.” He dropped his hands to his sides and approached. Whenever he took one step forward, Suguru took another step back. “It consumes you, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure it doesn’t happen again! Or would you leave your children to this cruel world?”

The response slipped out before Suguru could think twice. “Of course, I would!” His foot touched the wall of flames, and he hissed in pain. Suguru stood his ground, continuing to build up the army of curses within him into one mass. Maximum Uzumaki. It burnt through a lot of his stored curses, but it was perfect for a situation as dire as this. He had only done it once before. All he needed was a few more seconds until the attack was ready to be unleashed-

His throat was grabbed. 

And he was slammed onto the ground.

Ryomen loomed over him. The dark honey of his eyes shifted to a demonic read. His second pair of eyes, which he constantly kept hidden, opened, and claws grew from his nails. “Yuuji’s soul is hurting him. It would have killed him if Sukuna had not healed his wounds. I have spent all this time…all this energy…training you sorcerers…AND MY SON NEARLY DIES!” The furious roar that Ryomen let out made Suguru’s ears ache. He slammed Suguru’s head against the ground. “What good are you if you can’t do one of the only things I asked of you?! WHY SHOULDN’T I JUST KILL YOU THIS VERY SECOND?!”

“BECAUSE YUUJI WOULD FUCKING HATE YOU!” Suguru spat out. His words made Ryomen freeze for a split second, but it was all Suguru needed to push him off. He stood back up. 

Just in time to block the fist Ryomen swung his way. It took all of Suguru’s concentration to avoid being hit. So much so that he could no longer focus on summoning the Maximum Uzumaki. Only hand-to-hand combat was possible. Mentally, he thanked Ryomen for teaching him more martial arts. Even if said man was using those moves to kill him. They collided again and again. He had lost count of the amount of times he had redirected or parried an attack, but he could not stop. It was a dance of death. Additionally, the smoke from the flames made it harder to breathe. His head swam from the heat, which led to Ryomen throwing him onto his back. Every time, Suguru would kick and claw to break free. Bruises littered their bodies, cuts and scrapes covered their knuckles, and blood leaked from their many scrapes. 

Eventually, Ryomen managed to grab both of Suguru’s arms. The elder pinned them tightly against Suguru’s lower body. He was using his shoulder to make his hold even more uncomfortable. “As long as Yuuji is safe, I don’t care how much he would hate me. I’d kill this entire world if it meant keeping him safe. If I killed everyone this very second, I’d have no problems to worry about.”

“What about Yuuji-kun’s soul?”

“I’d figure it out. Without anyone to harm us, it will be easy to find a cure.”

“Do you truly want to kill us? After the years we have spent together?”

Ryomen released his arms. He looked at the fire encircling them with a far away look in his eyes. The flames were reflected within them. “I want to kill the world for what it has done to me, for what it has taken away from me, for what it has done to my son! You can rot for all I care.”

“That’s a lie.” While Ryomen’s words hurt, Suguru knew the man was trying to anger him. It was something he often did himself: hurt others until they want nothing to do with you. “I have seen you check in on us when we’re training with the cursed souls. Every time that Satoru had a migraine from his Six Eyes, there is always a bottle of pain medication right next to him. After Shoko’s training, snacks are coincidentally laid out on a table the moment she’s done. With me, so much of our training is you helping me find a way to never consume a cursed spirit again. I don’t think you’d waste so much energy like that if you hated us.”

The pink-haired man began to tremble. “Killing you would be easy.”

“Stop saying that-”

Before Suguru could blink, he was on his back with a blade on his throat. It was already digging in deep enough that beads of blood were escaping the wound. Suguru immediately went still. He could summon a curse to remove Ryomen, but Suguru highly doubted that his neck would be intact afterwards. 

“KILLING YOU WOULD BE EASY.” Ryomen repeated, voice nearly shrieking.

There was no deceit to be found as Suguru could tell that this was not the first time Ryomen had slit someone’s throat. From what little Ryomen had shared of his past, Suguru knew it was filled with unimaginable cruelty. Suffering that Suguru was grateful to never experience. Looking at Ryomen reminded him of when he first adopted Nanako and Mimiko. The moment he looked into their eyes, he saw that something had broken within them. Something that could never be fixed. He could recognize the same pain in Ryomen. The difference was that his girls were able to escape and live a better life. Ryomen never did. “I know you are upset about Yuuji, but you must calm yourself before doing something you’ll regret.”

“Wasting my time training you sorcerers is what I regret.” Ryomen replied numbly. 

“So you plan to kill everyone who you think is a burden or threat?”

“Exactly.”

“Then you’d kill every person on this planet.”

“It is tempting.”

“But you would hate it.” The knife dug deeper, and Suguru’s heart jumped several feet. If Ryomen pushed any further, his artery would be severed. While Suguru was strong, he knew that Satoru, Sukuna, and Ryomen were stronger. If it had been anybody else, he would have beaten them to a pulp by now. Except it was not a random stranger, it was a sorcerer with thousands of deaths under his hands and a need for revenge. 

“You know nothing of me, child.”

“Except I do. Four years of training under your tutelage has taught me many things, and one of the most evident traits of yours is that you’re scared.”

“Hah! Being concerned about my son’s safety does not make me some fearful, pathetic mongrel.” 

“You are pathetic, Ryomen-san, and you know it.” It was idiotic for Suguru to keep angering Ryomen, but he had a feeling that Ryomen was close to breaking. He simply had to withstand his rage until that happened. To protect his throat, Suguru gathered cursed energy to cover his throat. While it would not guarantee his survival, it was something. 

“YOU LITTLE WRETCH-”

“IF YOU WERE SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES, YOU WOULDN’T NEED TO HAVE SO MANY GODDAMN SAFETY MEASURES! IF YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH, THAN NOTHING CAN HURT YOU OR YOUR SON. BUT YOU THINK EVERYTHING WILL!”

“I INVITE YOU SORCERERS INTO MY HOME, AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO-”

“You’re scared, Ryomen. You’re terrified all the time, aren’t you?” Just a little further. Hit him where it hurts. “A grown man, centuries old, is terrified of the world because it managed to overpower him time and time again. You don’t want anything happening to your son because you know you’ll be too weak to save him. He’ll die just like he did the first time.”

“SILENCE YOUR VILE MOUTH! HOW DARE YOU. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”

“IT’S YOUR FAULT THAT YUUJI DIED!”

“BE QUIET!”

“YOU BLAME YOURSELF ALL THE TIME. I’D DO THE SAME THING.” Suguru swallowed the sudden knot in his throat, hyperaway of the blade against it. “I’ve blamed myself constantly for the deaths of those I care about. It does not solve anything. It won’t bring them back. What’s happening with Yuuji’s soul is concerning, but I promise that we will do all we can to help him.”

“And if I refuse to let you live?”

“Then you will prove to me just how scared you are.” He made sure to keep his voice as harsh as possible. Speaking in such a way would have frightened Mimiko and Nanaki, giving them flashbacks of their time in the village, and Suguru knew he was causing the same thing to Ryomen. Despite being hundreds of years older, Ryomen had stopped aging in his early twenties once he gave his soul to Sukuna. Looking at him without knowing the truth, Suguru would have thought that Ryomen was the same age as him. Currently, Suguru could tell that the young child hidden within Ryomen was on the cusp of shattering. And Suguru hated it. He was doing everything that would trigger his girls on purpose. It was the only way that he could think of to make Ryomen let him go. From how clouded Ryomen’s eyes were becoming, Sugar knew it was working. “Everyone will hate you. They’ll see your weakness and laugh. Perhaps you should do it then. Once everyone sees what you did, they will realize that you were never worth caring about. Yuuji will see that his father is a pitiful man and will want a new one. You were never good enough to him, anyways. You’re worthless.”

The hand that was pressing the blade against his neck began to tremble.

“They’ll hate you and want nothing to do with you.”

It shook even more. 

Ryomen’s grip on the knife was loosening considerably.

What terrifies Nanaki and Mimiko the most?

“You’ll be alone.”

Finally, the blade left his throat as Ryomen dropped it. 

Tiny droplets of water landed on Suguru’s face.

Without the knife, Suguru was able to look up to see the source. It was too warm to be the rain. 

And he was right.

It wasn’t the rain.

It was tears.  

Ryomen had broken. Just as Suguru planned. He slipped out of Ryomen’s grip to kneel next to him and felt guilt grip his heart. Ryomen’s eyes were wide and unblinking, staring at something only he could see. Suguru rubbed the thin cut along his throat as he stared at what he had done. It was necessary, but it was cruel. However, Suguru could not say with confidence if Ryomen didn’t deserve it. Neither of them were stellar people. Pain was something they both deserved. 

On bruised legs, Suguru stood up. Now that he had broken free, he was not sure if he should stay until Ryomen came back to his senses or leave him be. 

The question was answered for him.

With his back to Suguru, Ryomen muttered. “You pass.”

All the flames went out, and Suguru felt sick. This was originally supposed to be a test. A test that was all about gaining Ryomen’s trust. “I-”

The elder held up a hand to silence him. “You’ve earned my respect. Now, go. I will stay here for a while.”

So Suguru left. 

While he made his way to the shrine, the sky cleared and Suguru remembered that, while a few hours had passed, it was still morning. 

After everything…

It was still fucking morning.