Stuck In The Constant Limbo Between “really Excited About My Own Writing” And “pretty Sure I Can’t

why you should keep writing your story

because it’s a puzzle no one else will ever arrange the same way as you.

because there are ideas that simply won’t come to you until you write down the wrong words.

because all the bad scenes are the bones of the wonderful scenes.

because someone will love it: someone will read it once, and twice, and thrice; someone will ramble to you about the complexity of it; someone will doodle your characters out of love; someone will find it in exactly what they were looking for with or without knowing it.

because they have things to say, your characters. they’ve told you all those secrets and they have more to tell you, if you will listen.

because you love it even when you don’t; even when it drives you mad or when it accidentally turns into apathy; even when you think you’re doing it all wrong; you love it, and it loves you back.

because you can get a treasure even from things that go wrong; because if a story crumbles down you can build a shinier one on the same spot; because you won’t know where it will take you until it takes you there.

i love that sirius black escapes azkaban and his first 2 instincts are:

seek vengeance  

buy expensive gifts for school children 

if you're feeling stuck, try to remember that life is not static. eventually something will give and make way for change for the better. your lowest point is not your forever, no matter how hard it can be to believe in that moment. good things are coming!

when will i find my emotional support white man

I’ve been a fool! 

How often is Stan sad, for whatever reason, and he’s a sulker. Always looking worriedly into the distance, sighing heavily, hiding his head on his knees… and Richie sidles up next to him and like, pokes him and is like “Staaaaaan…”

And Stan mumbles “Stop it Richie,” and Richie spends the next indeterminate period of time making bad jokes and doing lame impressions and Stan’s like “You’re not funny Richie,” but Richie is like “Then why are you smiling?”

And Stan’s like “I’m not smiling!” Only because of that he has to start fighting back a smile. And pretty soon Richie cracks his worst joke yet and Stan full on grins and Richie’s like “Holy shit we’re witnessing a miracle!” and he does another terrible impression and Stan pushes Richie away like “I mean it Richie,” only it’s too late.

Because Stan is full on giggling now, and then Richie goes in for the kill: Stan is ticklish. Only Richie has access to this arcane and powerful knowledge. Stan basically made Richie swear not to tell anyone else, and as collateral he has a polaroid of Richie dressed up as Sailor Moon.

It’s too effective, and soon Stan is crying laughing and he forgot what he was even moping about. And Richie sing songs his refrain of “Smile for me Stanley!”

Because Richie wants everyone around him to be happy. If Richie can’t be happy, he tries his hardest to make everyone else happy. Poor Richie. Good thing Stan is a perceptive bitch! Because when Richie is down he always brings him little gifts. Home baked cookies, the latest comic book Richie was eyeing at the store after he blew his allowance on ice cream, maybe a pressed wildflower?? 

How To Stop Editing As You Go

What’s wrong with editing as you go?

Disclaimer, everyone has a different writing process, and that’s okay! But a lot of people never finish their novels because they don’t get through the first draft, and what’s the biggest killer of a first draft? Obsessing over your writing until you hate it.

But it’s right there! I want to edit it!

So take it away. I use a very simple method of having a working document and a master document. I write each chapter on the working document before moving it into the master. The master doc CANNOT be edited unless you need to add something in for the plot. This way, you remove the temptation to edit and you leave it alone. 

Okay, and when it comes to my second draft?

Then you duplicate the doc, keep the old crappy one, and edit the new one. This way you don’t edit the things you end up cutting, but if you cut something you want back, you still have the original copy. 

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Writing a First Draft

I’ve seen a lot of advice posts that encourage writing a “bad” first draft, or saying that the point of the first draft isn’t to be “good” just to be done, but I have yet to see any examples of what that actually means (which is unfortunate because for a lot of first-time writers that may just mean that their best effort on a first draft isn’t “good enough”), so that’s what I’m here for! The ultimate advocate of ugly writing, babey! Let’s write some “bad” first drafts!!

Forewarning that this is going to be difficult for you perfectionists out there (same hat tho!!!), but really, if you’re looking to finish a first draft within a reasonable time frame (and not continue to rewrite the beginning 50 times to get there, only to be disappointed when the next scenes aren’t as “good” as the beginning), then this really is the way to go. Perfectionism comes in super handy in later drafts, but it’s a real burden in the first draft, and I really really relate to that. What I find that helps keep my perfectionism in check while I’m drafting is to keep a separate Word doc open (or a notebook and pen at hand) to jot down new ideas or things that have changed throughout the draft. Putting a page number down next to the notation will save your life as well. Your future self will thank you!

Okay, so let’s get into it! You have an idea, and you need to get that first draft out before you lose motivation or move on to a shiny new WIP idea. What’s that first draft going to look like?

Write the scenes you’re excited about first. If you’re someone who, like myself, needs to write things in chronological order, then write these scenes in chronological order - but! if you have the conclusion figured out, then write it now, yes, even before that one bit in the middle you’re not sure about. Is it likely that some details in these scenes will change as you keep writing different parts of the book? Yes! Do it anyway! Anything you write will be helpful for later drafts, so write those scenes!!! Plus, if you start with what you’re excited about, you’ll want to keep writing even after they’re finished, because your brain will just keep generating other super cool ideas for those in-between scenes. And yeah, there will definitely be filler scenes to write, but you can probably worry about those in the next draft.

If you’re on a roll, don’t worry about punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I mean it! If those red squiggles in Word bother you, turn them off (they’re really only semi-helpful for editing, and we’re not doing that right now). If you write faster and think better using “internet grammar” (minimal/excessive punctuation, no capitalization, weird spelling, etc.), then do that! If it helps you get words on the page, it’s worth doing.

If you’re not on a roll, try putting some space between what you’ve written and what you need to write. For me, that frequently means hitting enter (even mid-sentence if I suddenly get stuck), typing “monkey,” and then hitting enter again, as many times as it takes for my brain to reboot and remember what the hell I was going for. If that means I have a chain of 20 monkeys in the middle of a paragraph, so be it. They get to hang out there until I come back in draft two and delete them. 

I’ve also written “uhhhhhh” and “oh fuck now what” several times in a first draft. It happens. It’s easier to write in a way that mirrors your thought process, so just do what works. Use memes in your prose to keep it moving - it’ll make future you laugh when you go back through on draft two!

Don’t be afraid to change major pieces of plot - but don’t you dare go back and rewrite earlier pieces to match! Let’s say you’re at the end of act one and you revealed some tragic detail about your MC’s backstory, but now you’re in the middle of act two and you’ve realized that it no longer fits your idea of MC and you no longer want it to be true. Simply make a brief note of it and keep writing like that scene in act one never happened. Deleting, rewriting, and repurposing are all for later drafts! The goal on the first draft is literally just to reach the end - and it’s inevitable that you’ll find and change the story along the way.

Forget about foreshadowing. No matter how detailed of an outliner you are, the fact is that in the first draft you really don’t actually know what’s going to happen yet in your book (see point 5). So forget about trying to foreshadow. Spell out what’s happening plain as day - because the first draft is just one long exposition dump to aide you in future drafts. If you get halfway through and a sudden twist or weird piece of backstory jumps out at you, write it in as if you had foreshadowed, even though you haven’t yet. Make a note of it, and maybe even note where you could foreshadow this in the next few drafts, but keep moving forward. 

Changing perspectives is fine even if it goes against how you know you want your final draft to be. If you have a scene in mind that you know you need to include, but you have no idea how MC would react during it, but you know how your side character would react, write the scene from the side character’s perspective. You can think about MC’s POV in that scene later - again, the point is just to get it written, so if switching POVs gets you through the scene, do it.

Ultimately, this is what people mean when they say your first draft is going to be “ugly.” It’s going to be a little (or a lot) messy. But that’s okay. The struggle of the beginning writer is realizing that your first draft is not going to look like anything you’ve read before - because those are final drafts. And to the gifted writers who breezed through school (like I did) by submitting their first draft essays for grading - that’s not going to work here. Every time you rewrite a piece, it gets better. If you try to make your first draft perfect, you will just end up frustrated and disappointed at the time you wasted, because you’ll end up reworking 80% of it or more in the subsequent drafts. Your writing style will change and improve, and your knowledge will grow, and every time you revisit a draft, that will be reflected.

So write that ugly draft. Insert so many author’s notes mid-paragraph that you look like an early 2000s fanfic writer. Contradict previous scenes like you’re constructing the most elaborate Winchester Mystery House -esque draft the world has ever seen, complete with paragraphs that lead to nowhere and mysterious monkey chains cutting sentences in half. 

And then, in the second draft, make it look as though the first draft never happened.

On Writing: Dialogue Tips

It’s only natural that novels and short stories are usually dialogue heavy - it’s a written medium. We need the characters to talk. However, a lot of the time we have difficulty writing dialogue. 

Hopefully these tips will help some people!

How to Make Your Dialogue Better:

Relationships and voices matter. Unique voices matter, and character relationships will affect how they speak. Think of how strangers or friends or siblings would interact. Even friendly strangers will hold themselves back a little. Think of how Iroh and Zuko from ATLA talk, for example. Their relationship is clear from how they speak, and they have unique voices. Iroh frequently spouts wise idioms and is generally calm and serene, while Zuko is all anger and urgency. Think about how your characters feel about each other and how they might interact.

Summarise the boring parts. A common mistake in bad writing can be to repeat in the dialogue what was just described in the inner monologue…exactly how it was just described. You don’t need to do this; summarise it. Reword it. And you don’t need the characters to go through the usual motions of small talk every time they meet. It’s boring and a waste of words.

Avoid name drops and dialogue tags. At least, don’t use them too much. People don’t say each other’s name constantly in dialogue without a reason (see Captain Holt repeatedly saying “Rosa” in B99 because he didn’t want her to feel dehumanised. This was for comedy but the point stands). Dialogue tags are fine, but they should feel invisible. Try to use verbs more extravagant than “said” or “asked” sparingly, and don’t end every piece of dialogue with a dialogue tag. As long as every new piece of dialogue is on a new line, it should be clear who’s speaking, and it won’t bore the reader. This will also help vary your prose/sentence structure.

Create pauses through narrative. By breaking the dialogue up with narrative, the characters will pause in the reader’s mind without you having to specify that they’ve paused. This is a handy way to avoid using dialogue tags too much. It can also make the dialogue easier to read if it’s not all smushed together with no breaks. Especially if you have a long passage of one person speaking; long, rambling speeches aren’t that popular anymore (not that they have no place, but that’s another story).

Dialogue isn’t perfect. People make mistakes; they forget words and lose their train of thought when they speak. They change topics and get lost in the moment. This can add realism to your dialogue, and can be a fun way to show character. But don’t do it too much or the scene will go on too long without getting to the point. And try to avoid too many ‘um’s and ‘er’s - they may be common in real life but they can drag the prose down if used too much.

An example I have is from Big Hero 6 (a movie I love by the way, but this was bad): Tadashi: What would mom and dad say? Hiro: I don’t know. They’re gone. (this is good, this is fine) Hiro: … They died when I was three, remember? (NOOO)

Dialogue should show something important. There’s a common idea that dialogue has to move the story forward or get cut out. This isn’t necessarily true. However, dialogue should tell the reader something about the characters or the world they live in. This comes back to cutting out the usual mundane small talk. Dialogue doesn’t have to move the plot, but it should be there for a reason, even if it’s to show the relationship between two characters, or how they feel about something that isn’t central to the plot. It doesn’t have to move the plot forward, but there has to be some reason for the reader to see it.

Fantasy/Sci-Fi Writers: use apostrophes! “I am not”, “I did not”, “I do not” - this can feel unnatural if all your dialogue is like this. You don’t need to write all your dialogue like this. Don’t be afraid of the apostrophe! Apostrophes are great! It won’t make your characters seem too modern, I promise. Don’t make the dialogue too awkward or stiff. After a while, they’ll stop sounding human.

How to Make Writing Dialogue Easier:

Write your dialogue like a script. If you’re struggling with the dialogue in a scene, try writing it like a script and omit the narrative (aside from very basic actions). I’ve done this once or twice; sometimes it’s easier to figure out what you want your characters to say when you’re not bogged down by writing the narrative, especially in a scene where the dialogue is especially important. You can incorporate the narrative later.

Read your dialogue out loud. Reading out loud can help you see how your dialogue will sound to the reader. It can help you spot weird sentence structures, or if something sounds out of character or inhuman. You can also get an idea of the characters’ voices. If you have a willing friend (and you’re not too embarrassed), try to get them to read with you!

Colour-code your dialogue. This is a trick you can use for scenes with more than two characters. By colour-coding the dialogue, you can clearly get a sense of each character’s voice, see who’s speaking the most or the least, etc. You can use this to redistribute roles and dialogue in the scene, or maybe experiment with adding or subtracting characters depending on their contribution to the scene. It can also help you keep track of all the characters, which is generally harder in written medium when you can’t see the group in front of you.

Like these posts? See more Writing Wednesday tips Request Writing Wednesday topics here

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What have the protests accomplished?

5/26 4 officers fired for murdering George Floyd 5/27 Charges dropped for Kenneth Walker (Breonna Taylor’s boyfriend, who police accused of killing her) 5/28 University of Minnesota cancels contract with police 5/28 3rd precinct police station neutralized by protesters 5/28 Minneapolis transit union refuses to bring police officers to protests or transport arrested protesters 5/29 Activists commandeer Minneapolis hotel to provide shelter to homeless 5/29 Former officer Chauvin arrested and charged with murder 5/29 Louisville Mayor suspends “no-knock” warrants 5/30 US Embassies across Africa condemn police murder of George Floyd 5/30 Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison takes over prosecution of the murdering officer 5/30 Transport Workers Union refuses to help NYPD transport arrests protesters 5/30 Maryland lawmakers forming work group on police reform, accountability 5/31 2 abusive officers fired for pulling a couple out of their car and tasing them - Atlanta, GA 6/1 Minneapolis public schools end contract with police 6/1 Confederate monument removed after being toppled by protesters - Birmingham, AL 6/1 CA prosecutors launch campaign to stop DAs from accepting police union money 6/1 Tulsa Mayor agrees to not renew Live PD contract 6/1 Louisville police chief fired after shooting of David Mcatee 6/1 Congress begins bipartisan push to cut off police access to military gear 6/1 Atlanta announces plans to create a task force and public database to track police brutality in metro Atlanta area 6/2 Minneapolis AFL-CIO calls for resignation of police union president Bob Kroll, a vocal white supremest 6/2 Pittsburgh transit union announces refusal to transport police officers or arrest protesters 6/2 Racist ex-mayor Frank Rizzo statue removed in Philadelphia 6/2 6 abusive officers charged for violence against residents and protesters - Atlanta, GA 6/2 Civil rights investigation of Minneapolis Police Dept launched 6/2 San Francisco resolution to prevent law enforcement from hiring officers with history of misconduct 6/2 Survey indicates that 64% of those polled are sympathetic to protesters, 47% disapprove of police handling of the protests, and 54% think the burning down of the Minneapolis police precinct was fully or partially justified 6/2 Trenton NJ announces policing reforms 6/2 Minneapolis City Council members consider disbanding the police 6/2 Confederate statue removed from Alexandria, VA 6/3 Officer fired for tweets promoting violence against protesters - Denver, CO 6/3 Walker Art Center and the Minneapolis Institute of Art cut ties with the MPD 6/3 Chauvin charges upgraded to second degree murder, remaining 3 officers also charged and taken into custody 6/3 Richmond VA Mayor Stoney announces RPD reform measures: establish “Marcus” alert for folks experiencing mental health crises, establish independent Citizen Review Board, an ordinance to remove Confederate monuments, and implement racial equity study 6/3 County commissioners deny proposal for $23 million expansion of Fulton County jail 6/3 Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board unanimously votes to sever ties with MPD 6/3 Seattle withdraws request to end federal oversight/consent decree of police department 6/3 Breonna Taylor’s case reopened 6/3 Louisville police department (Breonna Taylor’s murderers) will now be under review from an outside agency, which will include review on training, bias-free policing and accountability 6/3 Colorado lawmakers introduce a police reform bill that includes body cam laws, repealing the “fleeing felon” statute, and banning chokeholds 6/3 Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti announces plans to reduce funding to police department by $150M and instead invest in minority communities 6/4 Virginia governor announces plans to remove Robert E. Lee statue from Richmond 6/4 Portland schools superintendent discontinues presence of armed police officers in schools 6/4 MBTA (Metro Boston) board orders that buses wont transport police to protests, or protesters to police 6/4 King County Labor Federation issues ultimatum to police unions: admit to and address racism in Seattle PD, or be removed 6/5 City of Minneapolis bans all chokeholds by police 6/5 Racist ex-mayor Hubbard statue removed - Dearborn, MI 6/5 NFL condemns racism and admits it should have listened to players’ protests 6/5 California Governor Gavin Newsom calls for statewide use-of-force standard made along with community leaders and ban on carotid holds 6/5 2 Buffalo officers suspended within a day of pushing 75 year old protester to the ground, and lying about it 6/5 2 NYPD officers suspended after videos of violence to protesters 6/5 The US Marines bans display of the Confederate flag 6/5 Dallas adopts a “duty to intervene” rule that requires officers to stop other cops who are engaging in excessive use of force 6/5 Dallas City Manager T.C. Broadnax releases an 11-point action plan for immediate police reforms 6/6 Statue of Confederate general Williams Carter Wickham torn down - Richmond, VA 6/6 2 Buffalo officers charged with second-degree assault for shoving elderly man 6/6 San Francisco Mayor London Breed announces effort to defund police and redirect funds to Black community 6/7 Frank Rizzo mural removed, to be replaced with new artwork - Philadelphia, PA 6/7 Minneapolis City Council members announce intent to disband the police department, invest in proven community-led public safety 6/7 Protesters in Bristol topple statue of slave trader Edward Colston, throw it in the river 6/7 NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio vows for the first time to cut funding for NYPD, redirect to social services 6/7 A Virginia police officer faces charges after using a stun gun on a black man 6/8 NY State Assembly passes the Eric Garner Anti-Chokehold Act 6/8 Democrats in Congress unveil a bill to rein in bias and excessive force in policing 6/8 Black lawmakers block a legislative session in Pennsylvania to demand action on police reform 6/8 France bans police use of chokeholds 6/8 Seattle council members join calls to defund police department 6/8 Boston reevaluates how it funds police department 6/8 Honolulu Police Commission nominees voice support for more transparency, reforms 6/8 Rights groups and Floyd’s family call for a UN inquiry into American policing and help with systemic police reform

No, it’s not enough, but this is only the beginning. Keep fighting!!!

(This list comes from Mara Ahmed’s blog post and was compiled by Fahd Ahmed; I added sources and new entries. Please reblog with further additions.)

you’re telling me there are people who listen to music and DON’T use it as the soundtrack for the intense cinematic daydream plot they’ve always got playing in the back of their head???