This Is How I Always Want To Be.

A Couple of Notes

In The Crossing (current WIP novel) I hesitate to refer to the camp of travelers as refugees or exiles, since although they left their home in order to escape war and being threatened (also raided, plundered, etc) by local armed forces and mercenary types... they weren't specifically evicted or told to leave, nor forced out because of their culture, race, beliefs, or any other such sort of thing. Not... directly.

It was more like, they wanted to remain peacefully neutral and not join the fighting, and being in small unfortified villages and hamlets in the countryside, they simply were easy targets for people who wanted to pick up supplies in quick raids... because of where they lived, and not because of who they were (except for their choice to be neutral). The survivors of the raids found these conditions intolerable, and decided to pack up and leave instead of moving to join any of the (sort of) neighboring fortified burgs that were at war with each other. This doesn't quite fit with a lot of what I read about current common definitions of 'refugees' and I don't wish to confuse people nor in any way minimize the plight of people in the real world on planet Earth who have become refugees or exiles because of their religion/beliefs, culture, ethnicity, or other sorts of differences. I also hesitate to refer to them as 'nomads' because although they have taken up a nomadic sort of existence, it is more of a temporary thing (they hope) like pilgrims or pioneers traveling out of necessity while they seek out a new home to settle in, and not an inherited, cultural way of life like I think the word 'nomad' usually denotes. Likewise, I don't want to refer to them as 'travelers' because it seems in some parts of Europe, that word (in English) specifically is used (perhaps as slang) to refer to the Romani people and their cultural way of life, which is also not what is going on in The Crossing. Sometimes in hash tags I am putting 'traveling people' because I am not sure what else to refer to their current nomadic sort of way of life as, since although they might accurately be referred to as a type of pioneers (in Bennuma) that term could also be confused with a specific time period and the geographic area of North America... and similar issues with the term 'pilgrims' exist, in addition to that term typically also designating having religious reasons for traveling, or 'making a pilgrimage'.

Perhaps eventually I might figure out what would be a term to use that I'd consider ideal, or at least acceptable. For now, it's something of a muddle to me.

Also note: regretfully, I cannot currently be sure to post updates to the Crossing WIP novel @bennuma-crossing according to a regular schedule (as also, the informational, sometimes-containing-short-stories, worldbuilding sort of background blog @legends-of-bennuma) but I am trying to do so without huge gaps in time between posts. After section 1.7 of The Crossing, I plan to get into what I currently consider to be chapter 2... the novel being more or less a first draft, someday after the thing is completed perhaps the novel will be divided differently chapter-wise, I don't know yet... admittedly I sometimes get in a muddle over where to make chapter divisions.

wip novel part 3.2 !

Got the next part of my wip novel up in @bennuma-crossing !

I gotta say here, I really really really enjoy switching pov characters from time to time because I absolutely love exploring the ways that different characters will look at things differently from each other, see others in varying ways, and spend their time thinking about different things. If you like that sort of thing, too, please check out my story. :)

Also, as always, if anyone prefers blogspot format for reading long posts, it's also here:

(someday I might make my own website or put my writing in other places to make it more widely accessible, but for now it's just in those two places)

"Ain't that just the way?" (as Greg would likely say)

Writing is Life

If writing is life to you, then you have a right to identify as a writer.

New Year's Declaration: I am a writer. I know this because I need to write, I am not ok when I can't write, or am otherwise prevented from writing. It doesn't matter whether anyone else likes my writing, but I do want to share it in case someone might like my stories. Likewise I don't care whether anyone says I can't call myself a writer if I haven't yet achieved official publication status or monetary compensation for my writing. Visual artists can call themselves artists because they create art, regardless of whether they have achieved a status of supporting themselves at it professionally. I believe in the same for writers. If you write and really care about your writing, then you are a writer if you want to be and believe you are, if writing is a part of you, in your soul.

New Year's Resolution: I resolve to no longer apologize to anyone for doing what I have to do in order to be able to keep writing, and commit to writing. If I don't keep in touch with people as much as they want, if I don't take care of my health as much as people think I should, if there is any other thing that I have to do or not do in order to keep writing, that is for me to decide, and no one else. It doesn't matter if people don't understand why I do the things I do; if it helps me to keep writing, then it is necessary for me, even at the expense of other things. I will not accept guilt based on anyone else wishing I were different. I have to be who I am.

Besides, there's not much else I can reasonably do anymore anyway. I have to write.

Writing is Life.

The Crossing - Chapter 2

First section of Chapter 2 now up, over @bennuma-crossing

Sorry to anyone who may actually be reading along, for it taking me so long. I had such a difficult time focusing on this section, but........... Brylin had to show up and be introduced sometime. Perhaps she will amuse some people; in any case, I think that getting her take on some things should be useful since the various characters view each other in different ways.

Nina also makes an appearance... which amuses me more.

Fairy Tales

Oldschool Fairy Tales from pre-industrial times: "These are cautionary stories for all ages, and also reminders that sometimes life is terrible for no good reason at all, or just makes zero sense."

Fairy Tales from the 1900s: "These are kids' stories where we try to teach that everything in life has meaning and moral lessons, and that if you work hard, believe in yourself, and are basically a good person, then you WILL be successful in life."

Me now: "The oldschool nonsense tales had it right, and basically all the other stuff is a lie."

(To be fair, I do believe that people should work hard, should believe in themselves, and should be basically good people because those are things that make life tolerable... I'm just convinced now that doing those things is no guarantee of success and that "anyone who says differently is selling something"

...also, I think it's weird when people make edits that seem to suggest that statement is in any way inspirational. It's not 'inspiring', it's just realism. It may be comforting sometimes to know that life is terrible for a lot of people out there and even if a person's suffering is unique to them, they're still not the only one suffering... but to act like that's uplifting in some way is weird to me.)

I've been thinking...

hypothetically... if I self-identify as reclusive, and actually start telling people that and own the fact that is part of who I am and suggest that people should accept it as 'normal' for me...

...then am I, in fact, going INTO a 'recluse' closet, rather than coming 'out' of one?

Basically, am I more of a "closet recluse" if I am 'in' the closet about it, or out of it?

(I'm really the same me either way, so I guess that's what matters most.)

Anyway, it just strikes me as funny, the way the semantics look to me in a visually-interpolated way. Wouldn't a closet recluse be someone who pretends not to be, and thus is not hiding in a closet? On the other hand, owning it can be like hiding in a closet, asking people not to open the door?

ok, bye bye (for now)

Legends of Bennuma poll

Ok, first time I've done an actual poll here on tumblr, testing it out...

(refer to @legends-of-bennuma for reference)

Because @haleywhaley2797 's response was amusing, and so are cosmic rainbow cats. :D

In response to @haleywhaley2797 's comment on the "Read the Fine Print (if you can) writing prompt posted in @voice-of-bennuma wherein it was suggested that when an artist drank an unknown potion and was about to be possessed.... it was a cat that was summoned who desired tuna, tuna art.

"The looming cosmic psychedelic hyperdimensional galactic space kitty has caught you spying. What will you do?"

...maybe someday I might draw a better looming space kitty... this quick doodle doesn't do justice to how it looks in my head, ha.

(mixed media; was pencil sketched and then drawn over with size S pitt artist pen and colored with metallic color permanent marker pens, colored sharpies, and colored pencils (crayola). Slight digital adjustments in color and contrast and cropped photo)