I Have Noticed That When All The Lights Are On, People Tend To Talk About What They Are Doing — their

There’s nothing better than friends reading something you love and giving you updates as they go. Like yes, my melancholy whatever I’m dead I’m dead, but let me relive this with you, let me live again….

The opposite of anxiety is not calmness, it is desire. Anxiety and desire are two, often conflicting, orientations to the unknown. Both are tilted toward the future. Desire implies a willingness, or a need, to engage this unknown, while anxiety suggests a fear of it. Desire takes one out of oneself, into the possibility of relationship, but it also takes one deeper into oneself. Anxiety turns one back on oneself, but only onto the self that is already known. There is nothing mysterious about the anxious state; it leaves one teetering in an untenable and all too familiar isolation. There is rarely desire without some associated anxiety: We seem to be wired to have apprehension about that which we cannot control, so in this way, the two are not really complete opposites. But desire gives one a reason to tolerate anxiety and a willingness to push through it.

Open to Desire

Mark Epstein

TIMOTHEE CHALAMET and TAYLOR RUSSELL BONES AND ALL — 2022, dir. Luca Guadagnino

sometimes i feel like there's a heart beating inside me

When poetry speaks to you, it is because of the demonic entities. You should not listen!

Getting ahead on my New Year’s resolution to become a network of free-floating signs which can only reflect each other. Woke up at 6 am and immediately started crying. So far, so good.

clutter core

me trying to communicate with the fbi agent that monitors me