here’s the facts
donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant
he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”
the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option
they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb
donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets
trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings
when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord
when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:
“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”
The Curtis brothers
This is what scrolling feels like when you do it right
Soda absolutely starts violently coughing whenever Ponyboy smokes around him in an attempt to guilt him into quitting
Should I feed my Tumblr acc sum yummy yummy art tomorrow or should I let it starve in the basement with the rats
it's uh.. been a while.. hasn't it folks!!! Anyways here's Jane and her lovely girlfriend (Jane is the one on the right and her gf is Jill)
I LOVE THEM SMMM JANE AND JILL UR PERFECT
hey g- [was about to say “girlboss” reflexively but then realizes you’re transgender and i don’t wanna misgender you]boyboss- [remembers the patriarchy] boss- [remembers i hate capitalism] king- [remembers i hate the monarchy] friend. how’s it going?
Hey friendly reminder to love and cherish Green Day
sigh should I actually finish my silly drawing of Anya or js implode?