Not Santa Leaving Claw Marks And Saliva All Over The Front Door Since We Sealed Up The Chimney... Your

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

i can only cum if im facing towards true north

Kou and mitsuba actually kissed like last night!! I saw it wirh my own two eyes!! Kou like went "Mwah mwah mwah I love you Mitsuba I'm so gay for you" and Mitsuba was like "Take off the earling before we kiss pls."

anybody else have like. public and private pronouns. like yeah strangers can use he or she for me idc but if you're a friend im expecting they/them only. and if you're a close friend you unlock the super secret rights to use it/its (exclusive) (rare drop)

“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.

we'll get you penis or its vegan equivalent

Listen. Is Darry straight? No. Is Darry a raging homosexual? Yes. Did Darry have a homoerotic relationship with Paul? Absolutely yes. Does Darry still try to convince himself and others he's straight? Yes. Darry's comphet is something extremely sinister

i dont wanna come right out and say it but you definitely kiss boys in ur free time

Oh js wait till I tell u what happened on monday

bro your fat throbbing cock is so annoying distracting i'm trying to play roller coaster tycoon

*Throws oc at you* Hey so we're talking about my beautiful child who i love with my whole heart!!! Their name is Jane, and I based them off of the band "Jack off Jill" bc i was listening to them while drawing Jane!!! She's basically a 23 year old person living her life and trying to cope with getting over her cigarette addiction while trying to cope with the trauma that her grandmother gave her AND also managing to be in a band while running a tattoo shop so bro js stressed af 💀. I might write a story for them or make a whole new acc and do stuff with her there!! Honestly idk what I'd make her story abt bc there's a lot i can do so gimmie suggestions for ideas for my child 💔