We'll Always Be With You....

heuheuhuhehhuehuhe 

Depressed Again

Soooo yep. Here I am again.

Okay, I ship Phan, but this isn't about romance and crap. I re-watched some Dan and Phil videos and the way Dan looks at Phil got me.

Not because I was like:

"Omfg they are amazing together you can see him stare with love fkwvlsvslabsksv d's kqkabd"

I do, do that, but this was different. You can literally see the 'care' in his eyes for Phil, even if they're joking around. You can take it in a romance or friendship way.

I just broke.

I started to cry at fucking 4:17 am with no sleep, because I feel like no one will look at me that way. I'm not talking about how your family cares for you, or how your best friend loves you (in a platonic way), but with 'care.'

I feel alone in my head. Like "Freeze your Brain" from Heathers.

"Shatter your skull fight pain with more pain. Forget who you are, unburden your load. Forget in six weeks you'll be back on the road. When the voice in your head says 'you're better off dead,' don't open a vein."

I don't know, I'm not good with emotions. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I bottle my emotions up and help other people to avoid my internal war/battle.

So, if you ever, and I mean EVER, find someone who looks at you with care and understanding, even if it's in a friendship or romantic way, don't lose that. If you lose it, you may never see it again.

All my love goes out to the people who read this, and to @danielhowell and @amazingphil for making my world a happier brighter place.

💙

Wow Me

So I was playing a game with my older sister and parents. It's called Taboo. Basically you have to describe a word without using certain words.

Ex:

The word is: Lamp

You cannot use: Light bulb, Aladdin, lamp shade, genie. (Really bad example 😅)

So my word was straitjacket. And I was teamed with my older sister. What did I say?

"It's for crazy people! Um... H20 Delirious! It's, uh, used to restrain him!"

And my sister got it....

What is wrong with me?! 😂

So to me there’s a big difference between the fuckery that Jared and Misha get into and the absolute tension between Misha and Jensen.    

Misha and Jared are ridiculous together but regardless of how they act, it just feels like them screwing around.  

Exhibit A:  This happy horse shit.

If Jensen had done something like this everyone would have lost their minds.  Misha seems completely unaffected but he’d have been a blushy mess if Jensen was thrusting his hand at his crotch.

Exhibit B: I swear to god. they’re children.

Zero anything but absolute teenage boy ridiculousness.  Jensen kind of looks like he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Exhibit C: The sweetness between them is touching, but not intimate.

I mean, I do that shit with my friends too.  They usually tell me to back the fuck up but that’s not the point.

Finally, Exhibit D: Awwwwwwwwwwww hugs.

When they hug, it’s warm and friendly.  They genuinely care about eachother but there is just….nothing.

BUT

When Misha and Jensen are together, there is something there.  It’s palpable.

Exhibit 2A: The stare

Jensen watches Misha intently.  He’s super close to him and still stays locked on Misha’s face.

Exhibit 2B: Touchy feely

Misha stays so relaxed, like he knows it’s Jensen and personally for me, that’s pretty telling.

Exhibit 2C: Drunk Jensen

Misha was SO uncomfortable, like he knew it was too public/too real.  The kicker though was he was in an “I’m not supposed to like this” mode.

WTF is THAT.  Why the hell would Jensen feel the need to show off his crotch.  Can you see him doing this to Jared?  That’s not, “Hey check out my boxers.” That’s “Look what I got!” .  I love that Misha went to cover his face but peeked one more time before dropping his hand over his eyes.

Look, maybe it’s bullshit and maybe it’s all Misha and Jensen just enjoys fucking with him.  Who knows.  But the tension is the real deal and I’m hooked.

@loveandlogic requested Tree Bros for the ship thingy 💕

Send me a ship!

•Who said “I love you” first: Connor said it first I feel like but it was a few months in. Both were scared to say it but they both knew instantly. Connor said it after consoling Evan through an espescially bad panic attack and told him he was proud of him for being brave and it slipped out. (Evan cried and said he loved him too before falling asleep) (Connor cried too because Evan said he loved him and held him as he too fell asleep)

•Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: they both have a pic of the other as their phone backgrounds but don’t know about the other. Connors background is a pic he took while Evan was asleep and curled into his neck. Evans is a picture he took of Connor while joking with Zoe where he’s laughing and looks so genuinely happy.

•Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Connor likes tot ale the worlds hottest showers and Evan likes to leave notes in the condensation when he’s done for the next day (idk the science but I discovered if you write in the mirror one day it won’t get condensation over it the next day so whatever you wrote will still be there). It’s always dumb cute stuff like I love you’d or doodles but every once in a while it’s a cheesy pick up line.

•Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Connor. He’s constantly at target or the dollar store and sees a little stuffed animal or plant Evan just “needs”

•Who initiated the first kiss: Connor. It was kinda rash and just a very fast but passionate peck but then he doubted himself and stepped back before stuttering apologies. His stutter were cut off my Evans hands on either side of his face and his lips back on his.

•Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Connor is not a morning person at all. Evan gets up early and watches the sunset, and sometimes when it’s espescially pretty he kisses all over connors face to wake him. Connor grumbles but sits up because he loves watching Evans face in awe at the colorful sky.

•Who starts tickle fights: Evan. He’s surprisingly sneaky and when connors not paying attention he’ll sneak up behind him and start a war he knows he’s gonna lose.

•Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Connor does it jokingly a lot but one time he did it and Evan deadpanned and said yes and he nearly choked. So now it’s more of a “I’m gonna shower wanna join me?” From both of them rather than “can I join?”

•Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Connor does it more often than Evan (but Evan does it too) because he likes to surprise his boyfriend when he knows it’s a challenge for him to work in customer service all day.

•Who was nervous and shy on the first date: both are such awkward boys. Connor is more nervous whereas Evan is just generally anxious. They’re both just awkwardly staring and quickly looking away when the other notices.

•Who kills/takes out the spiders: Evan sets them all free despite connors protest from the other room. The second he sees one he runs to Evan to “kill the demonic beast” and hides there until Evans “killed” it. Evan can’t hurt a fly so he lets it out the window.

•Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Connor can handle his alcohol better and just gets touchy and cuddly when he’s drunk. (When he’s realllyyyy drunk he’s definitely a sexual flirty drunk). Evan however, is such a lightweight that he drinks one beer and won’t stop talking about how much he loves Connor. Don’t even get me started on when he has two and goes on for hours about his hair and scrawny form and how beautiful he is (he has cried over his beautiful boyfriend while drunk before)

Do I date tall people???? Just so they can always see me from my best angle?????? Or is that just a bonus for them?????

LISTEN UP

I’m American. I live right in the southwest and let me tell you, it’s hell over here right now, but it will become a lot worse if Article 13 is passed. 

You’ve probably heard about Article 13, and if you haven’t, go watch this video right now. Whatever you’re doing can wait for sixteen minutes and two seconds, because a second-long vote could destroy everything online.

Whether you’re from Europe or not, this law could affect you, so you should care Article 13 because it is going to destroy the online lives that you have built. No more posting memes, no more remixes, and no more YouTubers from anywhere. 

Jacksepticeye will no longer be able to upload. 

Markiplier will no longer be able to upload. 

MatPat won’t.

Thomas Sanders.

Dan and Phil.

How to Basic. 

All of your favorite content creators are at risk of losing their jobs because people want stricter laws on copyright, which will support the larger media companies but kill smaller creators. And because of this, we may lose everything online. 

So spread the word! Reblog this, reblog other people’s posts, find petitions, write your own posts! If you’re in Europe, contact your MEP’s and get them to understand how it will affect the people who use the internet. 

Please. 

#savetheinternet. 

YES GAVIN REED IS GAY !

Thanks Bryan Dechart!

It’s always nice to see how much he supports this. :)

Reblog if your blog is a safe space for all Ninjago shippers

I’m not saying you have to agree or like all Ninjago ships, you can have your Notps and really not like some of the ships if you want. Just please please reblog if you would not try to hurt someone because of what they ship.

When you go to derp on your phone because you’re bored on a family road trip but you remember all you ever do is look up E rated fanfics and smutty tumblr art of your ships so you just give up…