YOUR 👏 SYMPTOMS 👏 ARE NOT 👏 YOUR FAULT

there was voodoo, yes, but before that there were just two drunk maracas shaking out laughs at each other. 

THE BEST PART IS ROMNEY ONLY WROTE A VICTORY SPEECH

The Adam Driver appreciation squad led by Daisy

if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know

a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going

wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that

they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not

a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting

a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed

if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now

young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it

letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day

hannah gadsby took the format of a 1 hour standup special and split it into 3 related acts: 1. do normal standup comedy jokes. funny. feminist. 2. riff extensively on art history. move back and forth between outrage at the patriarchy and hilarity. 3. critique the whole format of standup comedy, explain why she’s quitting her comedy career, and discuss her experiences as a survivor at the intersections of homophobia and misogyny with complete seriousness and sincerity. Woven in with stories from the “regular jokes” and “art history jokes” cast in a new light. will make you cry.

what a legend.

Eddie: Hey, so Venom what do ya wanna do tonight?

Venom: m u r D E R

Eddie:

♡

ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ ᶦⁿˢᵗᵃᵍʳᵃᵐ

by haley renee