Yes!!

This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…

Idk who needs to hear this, but you are not damaged goods, you are not less than and you are not bread that is several days old. You are still you, you are worthy and will always be. You are wanted and you are needed, sometimes it is just a matter of figuring out where you fit in. You deserve to be appreciated and to feel appreciated, and you will, you just gotta hang in there and don’t give up. 🌸

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.

abusive parents will act like the world is insanely dangerous place where you get shot on sight as soon as you make a slightest mistake or displease anyone, when in reality the only place where this happens is your parents house

There’s this really specific experience in growing up with abusive parents, because they act so emotionally immature at all times. And when you’re a kid, it just feels normal, right? You’re emotionally immature, they’re immature, you’re on the same level, you don’t know any better, you think that’s how humans are. 

But then later, you actually develop some empathy, awareness of other people’s feelings and their inner worlds and thoughts and situations, and you outgrow your parent’s maturity. And at that point you’re just so used to tolerating their shit you don’t even think twice, you’re the adult now, you let them have their way, you forgive and forget, clean their messes, take care of their feelings and make it all okay for them.

But then at one point, you realize you have adults acting like literal spoiled children, when you’ve outgrown this a while ago, and you ask yourself, when they gonna grow? When they gonna develop some self awareness? And then you go and assume they just never had a mature presence in their life so they had no way to learn (which isn’t true because then how did you learn it?), and you go and try to teach them by showing them a good example. You become extra nice, patient, explain things to them, cater to their inner worlds, try to explain to them that there’s people other than them on this world, who have feelings and hearts and deep inner world and this is significant and needs to be respected. But all they ever respond with is “yes I am those people now cater to me”. 

It is impossible to teach abusive parents by showing them a good example. They will insist you do it over and over again, and then exploit your kindness to the max. Literally the kinder you get, the worse they get. They soon expect you to run after their every need, to jump at their every whim, and in return they insult you for a good measure, call you worthless and lazy, then they go to sleep without a care in the world. 

Do not do this. They’re not growing up because they benefit so strongly from acting like a kid. Once all of their immaturity privileges and tolerations are suspended, and they’re forced to act like a proper human being in order to keep gettinng what they want, suddenly they’ll know exactly how to do it. 

Your parents are not immature, they’re abusive. They’re not childish, they’re manipulative. They’re not silly, they’re self obsessed, selfish and forceful. You gave them enough benefit of the doubt, you do not have to wait all your life for them to grow up. Their due for that was long time ago and they have no business expecting you to be their parent.

Took a while but it’s finally done! Here is Batwoman’s Black Mask after Alice attacked him with acid, commissioned by the lovely @doktorgirlfriend. Thank you so much dear! This was a fun one to do research for, and I was delighted to learn that this man was in both Saw and had a small cameo in the otherwise regrettable Silent Hill movie sequel. Truly a class act.

Dismantling the Lies of Abusive Parents Masterlist

Resources

Giving you food and clothing is the bare minimum

You don’t owe gratitude for food and clothes you needed as a child

You had the right for basic resources

Parents shaming you for costing money is ironic and stupid

What it means when they say ‘This is MY house’

My house = my rules is blackmail

Children don’t owe absolute obedience for being fed and sheltered

Physical abuse

You are allowed to refuse any touch, not only violence

If they ‘don’t know they’re hurting you’, why do they ignore or punish you when you protest?

Hitting children is irrational and doesn’t work

You cannot ‘provoke’ your parents to abuse you if they’re not abusive

Why do parents actually hit, manipulate and traumatize children

Blatant Lies

Care, nurture and affection do not make you weak

They’re lying when they say it ‘wasn’t that bad’‘

You wouldn’t have grown up spoiled if not for abuse

You got too affected by it’ is a lie

Your parents are not ‘just too emotionally immature’ to understand abuse

‘You’re not living in the real world!’ is nonsense

You’re not worthless, a burden, ungrateful, or stupid, and your parents know that.

Constant undermining of your accomplishments is abuse

Not being allowed to talk about the past is symptom of abuse

Parents who want you to be happy vs look happy

You are not abusive for resisting abuse

When they claim ‘they didn’t mean it’, it’s still abuse

Your parents are responsible for their own actions regardless of how badly they try to shift blame on you

Psychological abuse

Blind Obedience is not required in a healthy upbringing

Disgust is a weapon abusive parents use on their kids

If they say they love you, but walk all over your feelings, they don’t 

Parents don’t have the right to enter your room to scream at you

Parents insisting for you to be ‘tough’ are doing it to hide the trauma

Even if a kid acts like ‘they can take it’, it’s still abuse

Pretending abuse is discipline will leave children permanently scarred

It’s inhumane to control and shame children’s reactions to abuse

Why don’t you already know this? vs Teaching you necessary skills

Acting like they’ll change is escape sabotage

Parents are responsible for protecting children from harm

References to how healthy parenting looks like

Not being allowed to be angry with your parents is psychological abuse

If parents want you to act way you did when you were little, they’re dangerous

Threats about how hard your life will be later on, are bad for you

Lack of continuity and ever-changing rules will cause anxiety

Forced obedience will lead you to abusive relationships

Parents acting like you’re a ‘bad’ is a shame tactic to control you

There’s healthy and abusive ways to give children chores

Revisioning the past and insisting you remember it wrong is gaslighting

If your parents make you suicidal, they’re abusive

Parents threatening ‘they could be worse’ is abuse

Always assuming the worst intentions for your actions is wrong

Keeping children hostage in abuse is torture

If this hits home, also read Recognizing Abuse Masterlist

revisiting the "comics as a self-love exercise" thing i did a few years ago. (u can read the first one here, cw for discussions of death + suicide.)

thank u for hanging in there. u did really good.

Abusive parents are the only ones who go convincing their children they don’t deserve basic resources and need to be grateful for being allowed to have any. First, you have to be grateful for having a roof under your head, then you have to be grateful that you get to eat food, then you have to express gratitude for being able to own clothing, then for being allowed basic resources like books and a bag so you can go to school, you have to be grateful for a ride, for a bed to sleep in, for being allowed to live.

These are not things that should require any gratitude. Every child brought in this world has every right to food, shelter, comfort, clothing and any other resource they need to feel safe and happy and to develop all the interests and hobbies they want to. Anything else is unacceptable. Do we bring children in this world just to have them fear for their own lives? Do we have children so we could starve them, have them hurt or killed with cold and heat, to deny them living space and right to comfort? Do we bring children in the world so we could torture them? If not, then there’s no fucking reason they should be grateful they aren’t being killed on purpose.

What abusive parents are trying to do is make the child feel it’s not allowed to exist anywhere past the boundaries the parents set. If they can convince a child they don’t have a right to living space, next thing they can convince the child is that having their personal living space is selfish, that they’re taking living space from someone else, who actually deserves it,  and acting out of bounds when they want to move out. It makes sure children don’t ask for money, so they can’t accumulate money and escape. Hell, it even makes sure that when children are offered money they don’t feel they’ve earned, they’ll refuse it, and it will make it a lot harder for children to get financially safe and independent if they come into adulthood strongly believing they deserve nothing. They will work for next to no wages. They will struggle so hard. Survival will become something terrifying and out of bounds and will force them to come back to parents.

You take your living space as you please. You eat and spend all you can. You take everything and live wherever you want. The assholes don’t get to tell you what you deserve or not. The monsters don’t get to define where or how you’re allowed to exist. Those who would force gratitude for things you have every right to, actually have nothing on you. You do not owe them shit. You were in fact, entitled to the living space the second you were born. You were entitled to food and clothes and any resource you needed. What’s more, you were entitled to loving parents who would make sure you grow up unharmed, healthy and with the best start in life they could have possibly given you. You were entitled to more than they ever gave you. It’s them who owe you a childhood. It’s them who owe you a home and a family. Not you who owes them because sometimes they would remember they in fact had a kid, and it was in fact, illegal not to feed and clothe them. Fuck the guilt tripping. You deserve more than they gave you. 

feeling validated, heard, seen, and acknowledged in a friendship is so important. it’s the most beautiful feeling i think. being able to tell someone the most private feelings, exposing yourself at the most vulnerable, and being met with empathy, understanding, and confirmation that you’re not just being whiny, spoiled, ungrateful, or any of the other self-deprecating things you tell yourself you are when you’re breaking down. to have someone bring you back to reality when you’re busy minimising your struggles, yeah, that’s really beautiful and it’s truthful. someone who sees you where you are exactly as you are, not better or worse. just you. that’s so important in a friendship. definitely the most beautiful feeling.