tweedledeestwin

Latest Posts by tweedledeestwin

Hey it's MimiMarmalade just hoping you're okay because I didn't see an update over on ao3. If I remember correctly you said you were going away for a little bit in your authors note so I hope your just having fun by the pool or something. As always I'm amazed by your wonderful writing and eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Xx Mimi

Hi! Omg you found my Tumblr lol. Sorry darling. I'm almost done I promise. I've been on my other Tumblr (a not so well kept secret.) I'm 12000 words in though. I want to finish it tonight. Im editing like crazy. Thanks love 😘 ❤️ 😍

XMAS PROMPT LIST 🎄🎁❄️

SCENARIOS;

Decorating the tree

Dancing in the snow

Present shopping

Gift giving

Wrapping gifts

Making a gingerbread house

Gingerbread house competition

Snowball fight

Sledging

Mistletoe

Christmas baking

Christmas market

Making snowmen

Christmas party

Watching Christmas movies

Dancing to Christmas music

Going ice skating

Christmas dinner

Making Christmas dinner

Fake dating for Christmas Ball

Secret Santa

Both reaching for the last cookie

Making Christmas decorations

New Years Countdown

NYE Party

DIALOGUES;

"Stop trying to get me to walk under the mistletoe.”

"That should be our Christmas card this year."

"Why'd you turn the music off?"

"I know we said no presents this year but..."

“I hate Christmas shopping.” - “I love Christmas shopping!”

“Do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?”

“What do you think? Like the tree?”

“Open your stocking!”

“It’s snowing!”

“What are you doing?” - “Making a snow angel.”

“Do people even use nutcrackers?”

“Do you still believe in Santa?”

“You’d make a cute elf.”

“Look! Reindeers!”

“Is that supposed to be a snowman?”

“Do you have any carrots?”

“This is the best gift you could’ve given me.”

“You have snow on your eyelashes, looks cute.”

“Come here by the fire.”

“Please don’t make me wear this, I look ridiculous.”

“You’ve really made my Christmas this year.”

“I thought you were going home for Christmas.” - “Well, I couldn’t leave you all alone.”

“I’m never letting you convince me to go carolling again.”

“Hey, if we don’t find someone by midnight…you and me…maybe?” - “Ask me properly and I might consider it.”

“Here, you can have one of my gloves.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Did you get us matching pyjamas?”

“You look so beautiful in the snow.”

“It’s bold of you to assume I haven’t eaten my entire advent calendar.”

“Christmas hot chocolate is not normal hot chocolate. Where are the marshmallows?”

“Smell this candle, it’s amazing.”

“Aren’t you going to write your letter to Santa?”

“I’ll let you sit on my knee.”

“You’re my Christmas angel.” - “Wow that was…intense.” - “Just take the compliment.”

“Will you be my new years kiss?”

“But I wanted to be Santa this year!”

“Did you make me a tinsel crown?”

“I can’t get the star on, would you give me a hand?”

“Looks like you’ve had a few drinks!” - “You haven’t had enough if you’re noticing. Come on, bar’s over there.”

“Will you make me a hot chocolate?” - “Name all the reindeer and I will.”

me: *opens a new doc for a new fic*

the 629 started wips of mine that have been sitting untouched for 84 years:

“Writing all Races Equally”, Problems Inherent In That Attitude

@missdrarrydawn​ asked:

Hi! I recently joined a very diverse writing group in order to learn more about other races and ethnicities from people living those experiences so that I can include diversity in my own writing in a healthy, balanced way, and it has been a lot of fun, but then yesterday there was a conflict which resulted in me getting removed from the group. Most of the POC in the group are from the USA, but I’ve grown up in, and still live in, a small European country, so A LOT of the negative tropes and stereotypes about POC that are deeply rooted in the USA are things that are basically non-existent where I live (mostly because there’s not really any people of color living here). I had always been under the assumptions that POC characters are best written just as regular people with emotions and struggles and relationships etc., not reduced to just their race and treated more special/more negative for the color of their skin. They’re just normal people after all. 

My idea had been to write POC characters the same way I would write my white characters, with the same respect and depth and not treat their skin color as something special or exotic or anything like that. However, when I expressed that to the writing group, a lot of the people there got very upset with me, telling me that the way I viewed writing POC was disrespectful and that I couldn’t write any POC characters or POC coded characters the same way as white people because they are inherently different and therefore must be written in different ways. I could see I’d hurt a lot of the other writers from the group, and I tried to apologize but the damage had been done. Now obviously I’m not going to sit here and say they are all wrong and I am right, but I do wonder if this is a widely held opinion, because in my head, all races are equal and I wouldn’t have ever given writing one race more thought or care over another until this experience made me question that.

 Is the idea that POC characters have to be written with more care than a white character and treated better or with more respect or thought because of all the racism in real life a stance held by the majority or could this be a product of centuries of racism and oppression that caused a lot of POC people to request that they be written with so much more compassion than anyone else because of frustrations of never receiving equal treatment and finally being sick of it? I do want to clarify though that this wouldn’t apply to writing about a culture or religion, because those are very special and sacred things that I will always do a lot of research on before attempting to write about, here I’m just talking about writing POC characters on their own, not related to a culture or a religion, although I realize as I write this that that might be an issue all of its own, but that’s something for me to reflect on and ask about another day because this is getting really long and I don’t want it to get any longer. I know this isn’t a directlywriting related question and I apologize, but you have an amazing writing blog with a lot of perspective and thought put into it so asking you guys was my first thought after I’d gotten kicked out. Thank you for your time :)))

WWC Note: this ask has been edited down to just the points we’re replying to:

Colourblindness

The attitude you hold is called “colorblindness” and it’s a problem for multiple reasons, the primary one being:

White is not the default emotional experience of the world, and assuming we’re all the same is the biggest way ignorance-based racism persists. 

When you begin to assume that everyone has a generally similar life path that’s only faintly informed by race, you ignore everything that shapes a person. You currently view your own white experience as the default that anyone has the potential to live if they have the same class, gender, sexual orientation, religion (including cultural religion), and education as you.

But this is a fallacy, and a person’s race will modify everything they have experienced even if they are identical to you in every other way. You say that you would never disrespect a person’s culture, but even when you live under a single unified culture, you will often create a new culture based off your racialized experience. Race and culture are often interlinked.

The thing about marginalized groups is, we have assimilation pressures. Native people have been forced to live like white people for centuries, and it’s resulted in a lot of bloodshed. A lot of critique of the adoption system is about how white saviour-y it is, and how much trans-racial adoptees (aka, adoptees that are different races and cultures from their adopted parents) suffer either because their white parents refuse to participate in their culture, or assume that because the child of colour is from a white family in a white-majority area, they won’t experience racism because, somehow by the virtue of having white parents, they’ll magically get access to white privilege. 

Aka, it’s traumatizing. Very traumatizing. Even if you weren’t directly being assimilated, the trauma just… lingers. It’s generational. Your body remembers, your bloodline remembers.

And the impact of writing colourblind is: a lot of PoC will feel assimilated into white society, when society already tells you that you should assimilate, and it hurts. One of my biggest points in writing diverse characters is: you have to be careful you’re not re-skinning your own values onto a different skin tone. Remember how I said culture and race are often interlinked, even in a diverse area? This is part of it.

Equity vs Equality

There’s a concept in social justice: equality vs equity. Equality forces everyone to be the same, while equity accounts for their differences. This comic illustrates: Equity vs equality vs justice.

For example, equality is having everyone wear the same sized hat. But if you have thicker, fluffier hair (either curly or coiled) then your hair won’t fit in the hat. As a result, many PoC (especially Black) are forced to wear their hair much shorter, because their hair won’t fit in the required hat. This is assimilation

Equity would acknowledge that people have a right to wear their hair however they want, and has multiple sized hats available for people of all different hair textures to wear. They might all be in the same colours or style, so you can tell they’re all from the same place, but they are varied and allow people the freedom of self expression. This is equity that results in actual equality, because it allows everyone the same level of freedom of self expression with their hair.

Intersectionality

Writing from a colorblind perspective is the fastest way to hamstring any research efforts for where to put equity, because you are assuming sameness and therefore not researching. Your assumption when writing any sort of character of colour should be assuming difference, because everyone—white people included—have a racialized experience.

This is the principle of intersectionality: that the mixing of any race with anything else will produce a unique experience. A Black Muslim will experience the world differently than an Arab Muslim, and both will experience the world differently from a white Muslim. A Native woman will experience the world differently than a Persian woman. A white trans man will have a wildly different experience than a Chinese diaspora trans man.

They will share similarities, yes, because people are people and anything shared will produce some sameness between experiences. But if you assume that the white experience is the default, you’ll miss all of those intersections and write something inauthentic. The amount of sameness is probably a lot less than you think of on first pass. And then on pass twenty, you’ll realize a bunch of similarities you probably never considered.

It is not reducing people to their race when you acknowledge that race influences every part of your life. It is respecting their unique experience as a person of colour.

Racial Influence

So yes, it is a commonly held view that you should write characters of colour as being deeply influenced by their race, because their race influences everything about them. This isn’t even getting into how a lot of things white people assume are constants aren’t; emotions, gender, sexual orientation, mental illness* and emotional expressions are all culturally influenced.

Racism has existed for five hundred odd years (since the concept of race was invented for European colonialist ends), but xenophobia has existed ever since people have existed. As soon as you are Other, you have a different experience than the dominant culture. You’ll probably make a new culture, or will have already had a new culture that made you the Other.

Assuming we’re all the same, while it looks kind-hearted, is actually the fastest way to invalidate everyone around you. It closes your ears to hearing about difference. Yes, we are all people, yes we all have feelings and likes and dislikes and interests and we can share many, many, many things. But our relationship to those things will still be influenced by where we came from. 

A person who listened to a certain band to survive a terrible time in their life will have a much different relationship to that band than someone whose parents were fans of them so they associate it with happy times. If you can understand the difference between those two people, and realize you should write their internal lives while listening to the same song differently because of that different experience, you can understand the difference that race and culture will produce in response to the same stimulus. 

~ Mod Lesya

* a cross-cultural study of schizophrenia showed that in two non-Western cultures (Accra, Ghana; and Chennai, India) auditory hallucinations aren’t seen as scary, and are instead seen as ancestors helping guide. This positive-to-neutral view of voices was not found in the American population of schizophrenics, who universally found the voices bad and destructive, indicating there is a strong cultural component to views of your mental illness even if you experience the same symptoms.

Placing Care

As to why you need to put more care into writing characters of color than you would white characters: it’s not because people of color want to be treated better in fiction out of some sort of affirmative action to make up for the racism we experience in real life. It’s because it’s always more difficult, on a writing skill level, to write about things that you aren’t familiar with, than about things you know well.

This principle applies to a lot of things. If you’re writing a story set in a location you’ve never been to before, it will require you to put in a lot more work to write it accurately than if it was set in your hometown. Same for a story set in a time period you don’t know well, versus a contemporary story. Or for a story about a character who has a highly specialized job you know nothing about.

Skill and Difficulty Levels

Think of it as a difficulty setting in a video game. The more you add variables that you are unfamiliar with, the more you’re raising the difficulty level. Writing a story set in your home town in the present day with characters who share your background and life experiences is playing on easy mode. (There’s nothing wrong with playing on easy mode. In fact, until your skill level increases, I recommend it.) Writing a story set in the 12th century on a different continent with characters who are nothing like you? That’s a lot harder. And will require a lot more effort, and care, and research. If you go about it carelessly, you’re bound to get things wrong, and the story won’t be very good.

This also applies to writing characters of color as a white person. Especially as a white person who has little to no interactions with people of color in your daily life.

You wouldn’t assume “well, 12th century South Africa is basically the same as present-day Europe,” right? Even if you don’t know how exactly it’s different, you assume the differences exist, and you put in the care and effort and research necessary to learn about them before writing. Similarly, don’t assume writing characters of color is basically the same as writing white characters. You might not understand what the differences are, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. It just means you can’t see them, and need to put in the work to learn about them.This is why you need to write your characters of color with more care than your white characters. It’s because there’s more that you don’t know, and it will be more difficult to get it right.

Authors of color aren’t exempt from this, by the way. Whenever we write characters whose background we don’t share and aren’t intimately familiar with, we need to put in more care than we would writing about characters who are just like us. It’s a question of competency. You have to be aware of what you don’t know, and be willing to put in the work to learn, in order to do right by your characters.

People and Culture

Lastly, I want to draw your attention to this sentence in your ask: “I’m just talking about writing POC characters on their own, not related to a culture or a religion.” You said yourself that you realized as you were writing it there might be something wrong with this way of thinking, and you were right. Nobody exists outside of culture. Unless you’re writing characters who got their memories wiped before getting dropped on an isolated, uninhabited planet, they have a culture. They have been immersed in culture since the day they were born, and that has shaped who they are. You have a culture that has shaped you, and if you don’t think about it as culture, it’s because you’re so immersed in it that it’s invisible to you. And so you assume your cultural background is just what “normal” is, and you expect everyone to share it by default. Anything that deviates from it sticks out to you as “culture”, while everything that aligns itself with it is just the way things are. This is flawed thinking, and you only start realizing it when you become exposed to other people’s “normal” and notice how those are different from yours.

- Mod Niki

Historical Context for Colorblindness

A little background on colorblindness: It’s a deeply ingrained philosophy in Western spheres that emerged over the latter half of the 20th Century, with the Civil Rights Movement in the US and other activist movements providing a push to view people equally. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s quote from his I Have A Dream speech, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” is a major backbone of the approach. Most of the people that preach this philosophy tend to have grown up in white-majority suburban areas, which shapes the culture surrounding race very differently from non-white majority areas.

From a racial-ethnic socialization (R-ES) standpoint, it typically emerges in children aged 2-5, as this is when they first start encountering children who look different from them–their parents tell them to treat everyone nicely and that it doesn’t matter what they look like. Psychologically, it changes attitudes towards race and reduces general capability of understanding the differences in experience based on race, like Lesya said before. Many adolescents discovering their own opinions on race can run into this barrier when confronting their biases and struggle with their conception of race in the absence of encouraged discussion of race and its related issues.

Internal Bias Because of Colorblindness

Racial Colorblindness can limit understanding of intersectional issues such as wealth inequality, sexism, queerphobia, etc., as race affects every part of a person’s life. One’s ability to empathize on common issues can also be affected. This approach to socialization affects perception of facets of identity in most respects. Many believe that they judge entirely based on merit or behavior, even when their unconscious bias proves otherwise.

Even though it’s really only been super widespread since the 60s/70s-ish, it’s everywhere in Western media. After the popularization of the approach, the representation of various groups and the messaging spread about race began to reflect it. This continued to the point where it’s being socialized into people of all races beyond the normal parental racial-ethnic socialization. It can affect how children of color approach racism and discrimination before learning coping skills. It can lead to isolation from their culture of origin because they struggle to reconcile the very real issues they see in their communities with their upbringing. In recent years the approach has started to fade, but its legacy remains, and the ill effects can be combated through education and extended R-ES. 

Writing characters with a colorblind eye means that character is probably not going to reflect actual experiences, and if the goal is representation, that isn’t going to cut it. 

 ~ Mod Abhaya

Published Nov 2021

Me dodging ideas for other stories and characters while I’m trying to meet my daily word count for OOTB:

I still think about the person on twitter who thought that Pennywise was living in Derry, Ireland every waking second of my life.

If I think about a Derry Girls au too long, I literally pass out. It’s like, what if the Losers were 8 times stupider and more chaotic? It’s all I’ve ever wanted!!

Like I don’t even know how you would even plot this fic out? Literally all 5 of them would encounter Pennywise and immediately scream and try to hit him with the nearest object?? Like Pennywise would starve to death in Derry. All the kids would throw hands the second they saw him.

“Are ye saying you saw a clown, Michelle?”

“Aye, it was a fecking clown, Claire.”

“But, clowns aren’t even scary!” 

“Aye, I know that, and I told the wee bastard as much, then he grew a bunch of fangs, like, total cracker actually if ye think about it.”

“Have none of you considered that a grown man dressed like a clown hiding in the sewers who wants to eat children might be something to take at least a little bit seriously?!?”

“Ach, seriously, fuck off James, go be a craic killer somewhere else!”

“Have ye considered James that maybe the clown is more afeared of us, than we are a him?”

“No, Orla, I hadn’t considered that, thank you.”

“Okay girls, I think we’re all missing the point here! You said that he grew fangs!??! Are you sure you weren’t just a wee bit blackout drunk?!”

“Well to be fair, I was boking all over myself, Erin, to be sure, yeah.”

___

“What’s this I hear about a man dressed like a clown in the sewers?”

“But da you don’t think our Erin is daft enough to play in the sewers do ye?”

“I’m sure it’s just an urban legend, Joe.”

“You watch your tone with me boy! I’ll not have some wee Southern shite tell me what’s real and what’s myth!”

“I tell ya it’s real! As real as my right hand, swear to God!”

“Erin! I don’t want you goin anywhere near no man approachin wains dressed like a clown!”

“But don’t you think the whole affair of dressing up as a clown like, is a wee bit… gay? Uh- I mean no offense son.”

“Still not gay!”

oh god are you one of those people who reads romeo and juliet as a romance rather than a tragedy

I thought I was gonna go to bed early tonight but I guess not

hey friend you just unleashed my nerdy wrath buckle up

short answer: no, I know r&j is a tragedy and I read it as such. Shakespeare didn’t write “romances”, at least not in the sense you mean (some people call his later stuff that’s harder to put into a genre ‘romances’, such as the winter’s tale and the tempest)

so no I’m not a moron thanks

here’s the long answer:

I presume you’re “one of those people” who likes to count themselves as the Specialest Snowflake In All The Land because they don’t buy into the fake cheesy idea of //romance// that everyone else so blindly believes

maybe you like to talk about how romeo and juliet were “just horny teenagers”, how they knew each other for three days, how romeo so loved rosaline thirty seconds before spotting juliet, so clearly he’s fickle and silly. they weren’t actually in love, they were just teenage idiots. because only stupid girls buy that stuff. you’re more mature than that. am I right?

well, here’s the thing, sunshine- you aren’t special. I hear this same damn argument right down to the last word every time I mention my love of this play and it ENRAGES me every time because 99% of the time this is coming from /other teenagers/. other young people talking about how this isn’t a story to be taken SERIOUSLY. it’s silly and frivolous and unrealistic. they don’t realize that this play is dedicated to them.

and it’s criticizing people just like you.

while I do believe that these two young people were soul mates (I’ll get to that later), I don’t really think this is a story about love. it’s a story about /passion/- how love and hate are only a hair’s breadth apart and their overwhelming capacity for healing or for destroying. the emotion that drives mercutio to defend romeo from tybalt. what drives mercutio to be killed at his hand. what pushes formerly docile, dreamy romeo to slay his cousin in law: it all begins to seem like the same continuous passion, enflaming the same group of people on the hottest day of the year.

as a result, love isn’t a pretty thing in this play. it’s linked inextricably to death, to murder, to chaos. love is presented as the most dangerous force in the universe. it leaves five bodies in its wake, and then at the end (people forget this) it’s what finally brings the ancient feud to an end. it’s not silly. it’s not frivolous. o brawling love, o loving hate.

and who are the conductors of this unstoppable force? who sets verona burning and then rebuilds it better in under a week?

kids.

people with a shitty understanding of this play who love to dismiss it and downplay it like to call it a “cautionary tale”- why you shouldn’t think with your dick, why you should grow up and not be so rash, be sensible.

I agree with part of this. it is a cautionary tale. but it’s directed at YOU.

you, who devalue youth. you, who underestimate teenagers and what they’re capable of, who wave off their every thought or feeling with “just a kid”. who think that love is a pretty little silly thing and that no one under the age of 25 is capable of really experiencing it. that the kids don’t MATTER.

capulet thought it- he dismissed tybalt’s rage during the party as dumb kids throwing a hissy fit. he wrote juliet off as a child who should be seen and not heard, shuffled from her father to her husband, guided by the wisdom of those older and wiser than her.

in the world presented in the play, age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. the adults range from careless (montague) to helpless (lady capulet) to blithering (the nurse). the wisest character, the most eloquent and intelligent one with the most beautiful poetry, is fourteen year old juliet. (go back and read it. whose speeches are the most beautiful, sophisticated, complex? Juliet’s.)

okay, fine, you say. but they didn’t love each other, they just saw each other and got hot and bothered and wanted to jump the other’s bones! anyway, what about rosaline?!

I’ll address rosaline first:

shakespeare likes making fun of the poets of old (take for instance his “my mistress’ eyes” sonnet, a deliberate parody of the Petrarchan model of frilly love poetry). heres another example in romeo. when we first meet romeo he’s mooning over a girl in the frilliest, stalest, most formulaic verse imaginable. we get the feeling he’s enjoying himself, basking in his misery.

notice, though, that we never see rosaline on stage. she represents romeo’s vague infatuation with the //idea// of love, the pretty image he made up in his head from reading old poems. this not only creates an incredible arc in his character, but makes his love for juliet obviously the real deal by comparison. he meets juliet and his world goes into free fall; he’s rash and violent and impulsive, and the verse that was so stale and ingenuine before shifts into some of the most famous passionate poetry in the english language. in his first scene, he asks “is love a tender thing?” he falls in love with juliet- REAL love, not the kind in poems- and comes to answer his own question: no. no it fucking isn’t.

but, you say. but they CANT have loved each other! you don’t fall in love just by LOOKING at someone!

yeah, I know you don’t.

but here’s the thing. if you aren’t willing to suspend some modicum of disbelief, you won’t get anything from shakespeare. period.

we’re already assuming that these people just happen to walk around speaking in blank verse and rhyming couplet. the plot of hamlet relies on the existence of a ghost, a midsummer night’s dream on fairies, macbeth on witches, the tempest on magic, measure for measure on the friggin /bed trick/- is it SUCH A HORRIBLE STRETCH FOR YOUR CYNICAL POSTMODERN MIND TO MAKE that characters can identify their soulmates with a look? have we reached that level of lazy cynicism as a society that magical love flowers and vengeful ghosts are believable, where a woman can turn into a boy by shoving a hat over her hair and statues spring to life as deceased loved ones, but love at first sight (a very very common Elizabethan plot device; it’s /everywhere/ in shakespeare) is just too much of a stretch?

no one rolls their eyes at hamlet because “ghosts aren’t real. are you one of those people who believe in ghosts?” no- they take it for the plot device that it is in order to get to the message of the play as a whole, and the truths of the human conditions it reveals, with the help of some purely theatrical elements.

but kids in love. that’s far too silly.

it’s really fucking sad.

and questions like yours, anon? those make me really, really fucking sad.

“Here’s my life. My husband and I get up each morning at 7 o’clock and he showers while I make coffee. By the time he’s dressed I’m already sitting at my desk writing. He kisses me goodbye then leaves for the job where he makes good money, draws excellent benefits and gets many perks, such as travel, catered lunches and full reimbursement for the gym where I attend yoga midday. His career has allowed me to work only sporadically, as a consultant, in a field I enjoy. All that disclosure is crass, I know. I’m sorry. Because in this world where women will sit around discussing the various topiary shapes of their bikini waxes, the conversation about money (or privilege) is the one we never have. Why? I think it’s the Marie Antoinette syndrome: Those with privilege and luck don’t want the riffraff knowing the details. After all, if “those people” understood the differences in our lives, they might revolt. Or, God forbid, not see us as somehow more special, talented and/or deserving than them. There’s a special version of this masquerade that we writers put on. Two examples: I attended a packed reading (I’m talking 300+ people) about a year and a half ago. The author was very well-known, a magnificent nonfictionist who has, deservedly, won several big awards. He also happens to be the heir to a mammoth fortune. Mega-millions. In other words he’s a man who has never had to work one job, much less two. He has several children; I know, because they were at the reading with him, all lined up. I heard someone say they were all traveling with him, plus two nannies, on his worldwide tour. None of this takes away from his brilliance. Yet, when an audience member — young, wide-eyed, clearly not clued in — rose to ask him how he’d managed to spend 10 years writing his current masterpiece — What had he done to sustain himself and his family during that time? — he told her in a serious tone that it had been tough but he’d written a number of magazine articles to get by. I heard a titter pass through the half of the audience that knew the truth. But the author, impassive, moved on and left this woman thinking he’d supported his Manhattan life for a decade with a handful of pieces in the Nation and Salon. Example two. A reading in a different city, featuring a 30-ish woman whose debut novel had just appeared on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. I didn’t love the book (a coming-of-age story set among wealthy teenagers) but many people I respect thought it was great, so I defer. The author had herself attended one of the big, East Coast prep schools, while her parents were busy growing their careers on the New York literary scene. These were people — her parents — who traded Christmas cards with William Maxwell and had the Styrons over for dinner. She, the author, was their only beloved child. After prep school, she’d earned two creative writing degrees (Iowa plus an Ivy). Her first book was being heralded by editors and reviewers all over the country, many of whom had watched her grow up. It was a phenomenon even before it hit bookshelves. She was an immediate star. When (again) an audience member, clearly an undergrad, rose to ask this glamorous writer to what she attributed her success, the woman paused, then said that she had worked very, very hard and she’d had some good training, but she thought in looking back it was her decision never to have children that had allowed her to become a true artist. If you have kids, she explained to the group of desperate nubile writers, you have to choose between them and your writing. Keep it pure. Don’t let yourself be distracted by a baby’s cry. I was dumbfounded. I wanted to leap to my feet and shout. “Hello? Alice Munro! Doris Lessing! Joan Didion!” Of course, there are thousands of other extraordinary writers who managed to produce art despite motherhood. But the essential point was that, the quality of her book notwithstanding, this author’s chief advantage had nothing to do with her reproductive decisions. It was about connections. Straight up. She’d had them since birth. In my opinion, we do an enormous “let them eat cake” disservice to our community when we obfuscate the circumstances that help us write, publish and in some way succeed. I can’t claim the wealth of the first author (not even close); nor do I have the connections of the second. I don’t have their fame either. But I do have a huge advantage over the writer who is living paycheck to paycheck, or lonely and isolated, or dealing with a medical condition, or working a full-time job. How can I be so sure? Because I used to be poor, overworked and overwhelmed. And I produced zero books during that time. Throughout my 20s, I was married to an addict who tried valiantly (but failed, over and over) to stay straight. We had three children, one with autism, and lived in poverty for a long, wretched time. In my 30s I divorced the man because it was the only way out of constant crisis. For the next 10 years, I worked two jobs and raised my three kids alone, without child support or the involvement of their dad. I published my first novel at 39, but only after a teaching stint where I met some influential writers and three months living with my parents while I completed the first draft. After turning in that manuscript, I landed a pretty cushy magazine editor’s job. A year later, I met my second husband. For the first time I had a true partner, someone I could rely on who was there in every way for me and our kids. Life got easier. I produced a nonfiction book, a second novel and about 30 essays within a relatively short time. Today, I am essentially “sponsored” by this very loving man who shows up at the end of the day, asks me how the writing went, pours me a glass of wine, then takes me out to eat. He accompanies me when I travel 500 miles to do a 75-minute reading, manages my finances, and never complains that my dark, heady little books have resulted in low advances and rather modest sales. I completed my third novel in eight months flat. I started the book while on a lovely vacation. Then I wrote happily and relatively quickly because I had the time and the funding, as well as help from my husband, my agent and a very talented editor friend. Without all those advantages, I might be on page 52. OK, there’s mine. Now show me yours.”

—

Ann Bauer, ““Sponsored” by my husband: Why it’s a problem that writers never talk about where their money comes from”, http://www.salon.com/2015/01/25/sponsored_by_my_husband_why_its_a_problem_that_writers_never_talk_about_where_their_money_comes_from/ (via angrygirlcomics)

This is so important, especially for people like me, who are always hearing the radio station that plays “but you’re 26 and you are ~*~gifted~*~ and you can write, WHERE IS YOUR NOVEL” on constant loop.

It’s so important because I see younger people who can write going “oh yes, I can write, therefore I will be an English major, and write my book and live on that yes?? then I don’t have to do other jobs yes??” and you’re like “oh, no, honey, at least try to add another string to your bow, please believe that it will not happen quite like that” 

It’s so important not to be overly impressed by Walden because Thoreau’s mother continued to cook him food and wash his laundry while he was doing his self-sufficient wilderness-experiment “sit in a cabin and write” thing.

It’s so important because when you’re impressed by Lord of the Rings, remember that Tolkien had servants, a wife, university scouts and various underlings to do his admin, cook his meals, chase after him, and generally set up his life so that the only thing he had to do was wander around being vague and clever. In fact, the man could barely stand to show up at his own day job.

It’s important when you look at published fiction to remember that it is a non-random sample, and that it’s usually produced by the leisure class, so that most of what you study and consume is essentially wolves in captivity - not wolves in the wild - and does not reflect the experiences of all wolves.

Yeah. Important. Like that.

(via elodieunderglass)

A Message for Writers (who lack motivation)

Dear Struggling Writer,

How beautiful is it that we get to create, that we, as writers, get to make worlds and characters and stories? That we get to weave and string together words into any way we wish?

I hope you remember that.

So, I heard you’re struggling. It’s okay. I think we all do a little bit, always. Read on for what I hope will spark a little motivation in that heart of yours.

I’m going to tell it to you straight.

The only way to write is to write. I know… shocking, isn’t it? I want you get whatever it is you use to write, a laptop, a piece of paper, a notebook, whatever, and I want you to open your document. Go ahead. I’m waiting.

Your characters are waiting for you, too.

While I wait, I’m going to give you a few reminders because you’re here for a reason and I want to help.

STOP COMPARING YOUR FIRST DRAFT TO FINISHED WORK!!!! This, I think, is probably one of the most important things to remember when writing. Your work isn’t going to perfect the first draft, so stop comparing it to that book on your shelf. You’re in the very beginning stages of your novel (the first draft or two). You’re still getting your story out, and you haven’t had the chance to polish it and edit it. Please, no comparing.

Just start. I know it’s hard. I know. Trust me. START WRITING. How else will you tell your story? I know it’s difficult to continue. Maybe your story isn’t everything you wanted it to be. Maybe you’ve been struck with a new shiny idea. It’s hard to stay focused. It’s hard to stay motivated, especially when this story that you’re writing, that story that you’re becoming familiar with, isn’t so new, isn’t so mysterious. Really, all we can do it write.

Create a writing schedule. Write everyday. Write as much as you can. Treat it like it’s your job. When you get into the rhythm of something, it’s easier to keep with it. But, don’t forget to take care of yourself. You can take breaks.

Change something up. You usually write at night? Try waking up early to write. You usually write at your desk? Write outside.

You have to believe in yourself.

Writing is hard. Neil Gaiman says it best: “This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it’s done. It’s that easy and that hard.”

I really suggest taking a look at V. E. Schwab’s YouTube video “On Shiny New Ideas.” This really helped me a lot. It changed my mindset completely.

Quick Writing Messages:

your characters are waiting for you

you create entire worlds and complex characters. that’s so cool. be proud of yourself.

one day, you will be someone’s favorite author.

only you can tell the story you’re writing. it’s your story. it’s being told with your unique ability to write with your personal take on it.

there’s no right way to write.

it’s okay to feel unmotivated. it’s okay to take breaks.

writing is a long, tedious process. be kind to yourself.

write because you love it. write because you get to be and see and experience hundreds and hundreds of different things. we are royalty and thieves and teenagers and mentors and teachers and lovers and haters and masterminds and heroes. writing is the coolest thing ever. enjoy it.

you can do it.

I really hoped this help. Now, go write that story of yours. It won’t be perfect, nothing really is, and it will take a lot of work, but at least you’ll be doing it. It doesn’t matter how much you write—one word or a thousand—go do it. GO WRITE!

Signed,

Another struggling writer

P. S. Here’s a quote. “You fail only if you stop writing.” - Ray Bradbury

Please no reposts on instagram for this one.

✨500 follower giveaway & celebration!!!✨

I know, I know—it’s a little late now, we are around 550 instead—but OMG, you wonderful 500~550 people ❤️❤️❤️ It feels so strange…But in a good way—like, that’s more people than went to my school growing up?! 

And to celebrate, I will be doing a giveaway! 🥳

There are two prices to win. You enter by liking and/or reposting two different posts (depending on what price you want)—and you can enter both but only win one. If somehow, someone wins both, I will contact that winner to choose one of the prices, and give the other to someone else!

1. Character Painting

Get a character painting, by me :) You can choose a style and character* (it does not have to be related to this game or fandom)! 

Here are some examples! (Though scroll past the first post…)

All you have to do to enter is be a follower (new or old), and like or repost this post! (You can do both and would then double your chance to win this price!)

2. Design a game detail

Design a game detail** that will appear in the game!

Design an outfit (either an everyday outfit or a ball outfit)

AND

Design an NPC character that appears somewhere in the game (will have a small role).

Give me a rough or detailed idea of what you want, and I will work with you to craft it :D

All you have to do to enter is be a follower (new or old), and like or repost the pinned game post! (You can do both and would then double your chance to win this price!)

JOIN IN ON THE CELEBRATION AND WIN A PRICE! :D

*Fair warning, I am best with closeup and humanoids… Please no detailed hands… it’s so hard to get right :( And if it is a simple idea, I could perhaps do two characters… But, umm, nothing too NSFW. And it doesn’t have to be in a realistic style, send me a few references, and I will try and make it work :D

** If it is highly inappropriate, or very very era ill-suited, I might have to ask for a different idea. But I don’t expect that to happen :) It cant be copyright material (unless it is Sherlock related…)

✨✨✨Special community price! ✨✨✨

I will be accepting ideas/prompts for a combo (a quick drawing) ≈ 500-1000 word prompts that are of the same scenario. 

Write in the comments or send me an anonymous message of what you would want to see—Oh, and mention it is for the contest!

I might also add some of my own ideas—then I’ll make a poll of some that I like or think would be good, and you guys vote for your favourite! 

*I will end it in two weeks. Will randomise winners 1st of September!

✨500 follower giveaway & celebration!!!✨

I know, I know—it’s a little late now, we are around 550 instead—but OMG, you wonderful 500~550 people ❤️❤️❤️ It feels so strange…But in a good way—like, that’s more people than went to my school growing up?! 

And to celebrate, I will be doing a giveaway! 🥳

There are two prices to win. You enter by liking and/or reposting two different posts (depending on what price you want)—and you can enter both but only win one. If somehow, someone wins both, I will contact that winner to choose one of the prices, and give the other to someone else!

1. Character Painting

Get a character painting, by me :) You can choose a style and character* (it does not have to be related to this game or fandom)! 

Here are some examples! (Though scroll past the first post…)

All you have to do to enter is be a follower (new or old), and like or repost this post! (You can do both and would then double your chance to win this price!)

2. Design a game detail

Design a game detail** that will appear in the game!

Design an outfit (either an everyday outfit or a ball outfit)

AND

Design an NPC character that appears somewhere in the game (will have a small role).

Give me a rough or detailed idea of what you want, and I will work with you to craft it :D

All you have to do to enter is be a follower (new or old), and like or repost the pinned game post! (You can do both and would then double your chance to win this price!)

JOIN IN ON THE CELEBRATION AND WIN A PRICE! :D

*Fair warning, I am best with closeup and humanoids… Please no detailed hands… it’s so hard to get right :( And if it is a simple idea, I could perhaps do two characters… But, umm, nothing too NSFW. And it doesn’t have to be in a realistic style, send me a few references, and I will try and make it work :D

** If it is highly inappropriate, or very very era ill-suited, I might have to ask for a different idea. But I don’t expect that to happen :) It cant be copyright material (unless it is Sherlock related…)

✨✨✨Special community price! ✨✨✨

I will be accepting ideas/prompts for a combo (a quick drawing) ≈ 500-1000 word prompts that are of the same scenario. 

Write in the comments or send me an anonymous message of what you would want to see—Oh, and mention it is for the contest!

I might also add some of my own ideas—then I’ll make a poll of some that I like or think would be good, and you guys vote for your favourite! 

*I will end it in two weeks. Will randomise winners 1st of September!

me: okay, time to write

me: *turns on the kettle* *makes myself a snack* *takes a shower and wears comfy clothes* *scrolls through spotify trying to find the right music* *makes tea* *opens laptop* *pulls up unfinished doc* *stares at word doc for five minutes*

me: okay i think that's enough writing for today :) *closes laptop*

Now I'm crying

still thinking about wolf 21

You guys! 500 followers!! This is mad. I was honestly amazed when there was 70 of you, and now there’s 500! Thank you so much! 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 To celebrate this incredible milestone, and show my gratitude for all your support and encouragement, I wanted to do a giveaway for you guys. 

✨ The Gifts ✨

I decided to do two gifts and two winners, so there’s a better chance of winning something

1st Prize: One (or more) commissioned art piece(s), by an artist of your choice for the value of $50.

2nd Prize: A gift card for either two months of Nitro Classic or one month of Nitro on Discord.

I considered whether to pick an artist myself for the first prize, but there are so many different art styles out there, I decided it was better if you could chose one yourself that is to your liking. 

To enter, all you have to do is like or reblog this post, and I’ll randomly select a winner on August 15th.

Best of luck to you all, and thank you again for being here and being so lovely ✨❤️ 

- Vahnya

Yup, I bought another commission from the wonderful @llamagirl28 I adore it and wanted to share what she's made because it's just that good 👁👄👁. Like it really gets my BoC fix and I can not stress how much I want this game and story.

Isac isn't someone I know much about since we haven't met him yet, but boy does he win some points with me.

A warning ⚠️ for some readers:

Prior to reading this prompt I gave her was Isac and light nsfw. But it's still worth every second.

Google Docs

Llama commission Isac.pdf

If there's any error just message me and I'll try to fix it 🙂

I adore this man, and also can relate.

This tweet totally describes me

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

ok this pride i do really need white gays to step up and out of their comfort zone and learn more about pinkwashing and gay imperialism. i need you to really try to understand why we say lgbt issues are ALWAYS about race and acknowledge the ways you use your identity as an opt-out of examining how you can reproduce racism islamophobia antisemitism colorism ableism etc etc. every year you say « don’t forget the ‘‘poc gays’’ that made this possible !! » now im asking you guys to actually do that. please ive had enough.

“I am a simple person with simple wants,” I say, scrolling through AO3 and ignoring fics for a variety of petty reasons

author: sorry I’m jumping on this bandwagon and writing a fic with the same premise as all these other fics

me, has read 500 fics like this one and is prepared to read 500 more: please never apologize for giving the people (me) what they (also me) want

Just that knowing smile. It's amazing.

Am I still screaming about what their faces are doing in this, THEIR FIRST MEETING?? Maybe. I’m totally fine. (Not at all.)

Cute Whump Things

• Character B bleeding heavily while Character A tries to staunch the blood but Character B is more concerned about the fact that stoic Character A is sobbing and panicking

• When help is a few hours away and Character B has to stay awake, Character A rambles loudly about random stuff, trying not to break down and cry and to keep them awake

• Character B’s head hurts and Character A fusses as their thighs are used as a cushion, saying that it’s probably not comfy and Character B says that it’s perfect because they get to stare up at their face and it has a great view

• Character B is in so much pain and Character A knows it, so they let Character B hold their hand as tight as they want, even when it hurts and it feels like a finger just broke

• That moment when stubborn Character B feels awful and Character A notices and makes their day easier by giving them easy tasks and watching over them with concern to make sure they don’t pass out

• When stranded together, Character B is cold and Character B begrudgingly agrees to cuddle with them only so they won’t die, but ends up enjoying it and refuses to budge, saying that it’s for survival purposes only

• After falling into ice-cold water, Character B is shivering and Character A takes off their shirt and does skin-to-skin contact, trying to keep calm because Character B is their crush and cannot die

• Character B gets stabbed and Character A quite literally rips up their favourite shirt to make a temporary bandage, Character B protests and Character A tells them to shut up it’s just a shirt

• Character B has a bullet wound and tells Character A to take it out, but they’re afraid of blood so Character B soothes their tears and panic as they take it out, patting their arm in assurance as they hide their grimaces

• Character B is recovering from an attack meant for Character A and searches for them, only to find them in tears and crying that it should have been them how dare they scare them like that and having to comfort them

• Character A and Character B were both injured, but Character A sneaks in and cuddles up next to them because they were lonely and both being afraid to hurt each other, settling for nose kisses and cheek pecks

Once again, I was able to get a @llamagirl28 commission. I cant not share the scenario as it is so fun. My prompt this time was "Mordred and Gawain getting caught in a rainstorm taking shelter in a cave." I think these commisions are amazing because it starves off the hunger I have for all her content.

Please if you havent already check out her games, her blog, and just in general drink the koolaid. Fall in love with BoC and SiNY.

Hello, I was one of the lucky people to get an @llamagirl28 commission. She's such a great writer and I wanted to share the work she did since she has such a way with words, and I was so happy once I read what she did with my prompt "Festival, dancing, must include a kiss." Between Mordred and Galahad.

Here is the link to google docs: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aLpYED4wWrsb2pGTPEE93Ubaon3Kf8y6/view?usp=drivesdk

Google Docs

Llamagirl commission "Festival with Galahad".pdf

Llamagirl28, if you want me to remove access I will at any time as this is her intellectual property and I will do so.

Also please check her WIPs SINY or TBoC, they are amazing and compelling demos that will make you want more!

okay maybe this is common knowledge but not to me

twitter source: https://twitter.com/Al_Naffy40/status/1361419318206947328

THEY REALLY FUCKING STOLE THE REAL GATE OF ISHTAR AND LOOTED IT ALL THE WAY TO BERLIN GERMANY? Truly no words for the level of theivery and evil. and Iraq now has a ~recreation~ while the real thing is in germany

source to back it up https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishtar_Gate 

litearlly no words this is so evil and vile

I dont usually post my art. I get a little off with it, but some art inspires me to continue to do art. That is what TBoC (The Bastard of Camelot wip) did. I love the characters and the complexities they bring to the story, starting or maybe contributing to my Mordreds family, here is her amazing aged up brother Gareth who she is very close with.

I wanted him to look kinda earnest and boyish, kinda like he wants approval from someone since Lot leaves a lot to be desired (pun intended).

@llamagirl28

Kickstarter is a go!

Goooooood morning, Avalon!

Why are the Merry Men looking a bit more sultry than merry? Because they’d like to tempt you into backing our Kickstarter!

Head on over to the Made Marion KS page to check it out. Our Early Birds are flying off the shelf already, so make like one of Robin’s arrows if you’re interested in them!

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry