Triggerbug - The Great Mammon

had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

G… gender roles? [I open my hand, confused, and reveal a fistful of dnd dice] Which one do I…?

oldest obey me brothers as annoying boyfriend activities

a/n: quick writing for the oldest three bc i love them

lucifer

Leans his head over to look at what you're doing on your phone and refuses to admit to it

Buys you clothes that are very clearly his own taste but he just wants to see you in them, just don't say that out loud or he'll threaten to return them (since you "clearly don't want it")

Once he offers to help fix something there's no getting him away, yes he's been taking 5 hours to fix the hot water in your shower but NO he will not call a plumber when "he's got it"

Will cut a kiss short just to see you get frustrated (but god forbid you do it back)

"Oh!.... I see, no it's fine, MC.... I didn't say I was upset"

mammon

Stalks your social media to make sure nobody is flirting with you under your comments (absolutely loses his shit on them when he actually finds someone dumb enough)

Everytime you two lay down together he manages to pull your hair/bonnet/ or elbow your head. Every. Single. Time (literally just goes "lol damn sorry")

Tries to cop a feel and when you catch him he gets defensive cause CLEARLY he miscalculated the distance from your ass and hip.. jeez!

Will wake you up mid-sleep to ask you something unimportant

"Babe....babe have you seen my white towel...? Baby?..... i can't find it babe wake-"

levi

Never remembers your friends names and makes you remind him every time you have gossip about them

Will be on voice chat in-game while on the phone with you and yes it will be confusing as hell

"MOVE YOU IDIOT- no henry, not you, i wouldn't call you that.. ARE YOU STUPID-"

Knocks on the bathroom door to ask if you're done (not cause he has to go, he just wants you back)

Asks "what if" questions to test your love (he just wants to test the limits, mc, what if he were to actually turn into a snail and-)

never seen this before so may i ask hcs with the demon bros x kuudere mc? basically an mc who seems aloof and doesnt express much emotions at first glance, but they are flustered and blushes when they receive their affection. a kind hearted softie. thx and love your hcs!! <3

kuudere!mc gn reader as always ^_^, spoilers for ch16 in belphies, makeup mention in asmos i love kuuderes... theyre my fav type of character trope in anime! >_&lt; i decided to write this one a bit different because i loved the idea so much!! i'll prob end up doing a part 2 with the dateables hehe...

LUCIFER likes the fact that you're calm and mature and not one to be dragged into his younger brothers shenanigans. He's not going to rub it in your face whenever he gets to witness one of your soft moments. When he has you to himself, he wants to see the soft, bashful side of you.

Lucifer isn’t one to just hand out affection, especially to his nuisances he calls his younger brothers. There was just something about you; so cold and calm, yet so caring and soft when the others aren’t around. He realises it’s endearing, and he craves to see those soft cheeks of yours blossom into the pink they so rarely do.

He raises his gloved hand, and rests it upon your head. He pats once. He pats twice. He sees your eyes widen and your lips curl into a flat line, and your face turning a shameful shade of red he wished he would never be seen with. He sees your eyebrow twitch, and he can’t help but the smirk that crawls onto his face and the chuckle that escapes him.

“What was the for?” you mumble, avoiding his eyes and playing with your fingers.

“Hmm?” It’s almost taunting the way he’s speaking. “For doing a good job on your exam, of course.”

He’s lying, of course. You barely passed. Even Mammon got a higher score than you did.  

MAMMON can’t say he’s the biggest fan of your stoic personality. Whenever he cracks a joke, his first response is to turn to look at you to make sure you thought it was funny… just to see your blank stare. He’s comically shocked whenever he sees your soft side, after being shot down and down again with your blunt responses.

“You can smile?!” he exclaims, eyes wide and a finger pointing at you accusingly. “Man, I should’ve taken a pic of ya! Would’ve sold for some grimm…”

You stare at him, eyes blank and smile long gone. "What is wrong with you?"

"Huh?! Whaddya mean? Can't a demon make some money around here? Geez..." He huffs, crossing his arms. "C'mon, smile again! Let The Great Mammon make a buck!"

Mammon is just too embarrassed to admit he just wants to see your smile again. He's definitely going to be up all night thinking about how cute you looked. If he ever got a hold of a picture of you smiling... no way anyone else was going to see it!

LEVIATHAN totally calls you a kuudere to your face, and isn't afraid to compare you to anime characters he's a fan of. It does make him think one day, if you were the classic kuudere... you would have a soft side, wouldn't you?! It makes him blush just thinking about it... and he wishes you would show that cute side of yours to him and him only.

He frantically knocks on your door, Akuzon package in hand. "C'mon, open up!" he whines, impatient and excited. The door opens, and he shows you the package. "The game you wanted to play came! Let's go play it!"

He drags you back to his room, fingers tight around your wrist. He gets comfy in his chair and passes you the controller, game starting up and theme music echoing throughout his aquatic room.

"You bought this?" you question, focused on the screen in front of you. "For me?"

"Yeah?" he answers without second thought, before his face flushes red. "B-But only because I thought it looked good too!"

He turns to look at you, and sees your face ablaze and the way your eyes frantically look away from his in embarrassment. The reaction is contagious, and he almost chokes on his saliva because he knew it. He knew he was right.

You are too cute.

SATAN likes the calm aura you have unlike his brothers. Mammon's scummy, Asmodeus is okay sometimes, Levi, Beel and Belphie are always in their own world and don't get him started from Lucifer. You're like a breath of fresh air to him and he often finds himself drawn to you. There was just something about you.

It's another day, and Satan can't sleep. And when he can't sleep, why not go visit the strays that hang out near the House of Lamentation? Sure, he'll probably get distracted and end up outside longer than he intends (probably until the crack of dawn...), but he knows you'll be out there loitering somewhere.

"Look at you," he hears you coo, picking up a black cat and cradling it close. "You're so cute. So soft. So magestic." You look so different, not your usual stoic self... You look content.

"I didn't know you liked cats so much," he teases, hand on his hip and peering down at you. He would've loved to sit back and watch the scene of his favourite person playing with cats but he didn't want to miss out on the action himself.

You look at him like a deer caught in headlights. He bites back a laugh and thinks, yes- you are special.

ASMODEUS loves your stoic façade. He thinks the mystery of who you really are is seductive and enticing. He wants to know you more, to break this shell you have around you and piece by piece slide himself in. He knows he can do it, he's done it plenty of times before. He's completely enamoured by you.

He doesn't know how he's managed to do it, but he's roped you into being his little makeup model for the time being. Maybe it's because he promised you some grimm if you let him post pictures of you on Devilgram, but still. He's happy with what he gets.

Asmodeus leans forward, and thumbs away the smudged lipstick at the corner of your mouth. He knows he's closer than he should be, but he takes a minute to lean back and admire his work.

"Don't you just look gorgeous!" He smiles, pleased with himself. "Oh, darling, you look like I could eat you right up!"

He doesn't expect you to turn a violent shade of red- he's said worse things, more naughty things - but this is what breaks you? The genuine compliment that rolls off his tongue?

He smiles inwardly, and keeps the information packed away for later use.

BEELZEBUB finds it hard to gauge your reaction sometimes. Nobody in the house is really stoic and blunt like you... He does think it's funny when you put Mammon in his place, though. Or anyone who tries to eat his food from the fridge. He likes it, he thinks. And he realises he likes it even more when he sees that deep down, you're just shy and sweet.

It's not uncommon for Beel to come later than the rest. He has fangol practice, after all. He walks through the front doors of the House of Lamentation, ready for a snack and a shower but he pauses.

He sees you place a blanket he recognises from your room over Belphie, who had taken it upon himself to fall asleep at the bottom of the main entrance's staircase. You look up, and your eyes widen and you freeze when you notice that Beelzebub had just witnessed that entire interaction...

All he does is smile. He doesn't just like this soft side of you. He just likes you.

BELPHEGOR knows from when you used to visit him in the attic you weren't always the stoic, blunt person that you are. He knows you have a kind, soft side that he dares to call cute. He doubted he would ever have the chance to see it ever again, after breaking your trust and your heart when he betrayed you.

Belphie is known for finding odd places to nap in. Under the kitchen sink, on top of the kitchen counter, on the second floor stairway at RAD... but he also liked sleeping outside. Under a tree near the school. Leviathan said it was "totes anime." Belphie promptly rolled his eyes into the back of his head at that.

He hears someone approach. He can tell its you just by the scent of your perfume alone, so he doesn't dare open his eyes. He pretends he's sound asleep. He debates on whether or not throwing in a fake snore, but deems it way too fake.

He feels your warm hand on top of his head and he cracks an eye open, to see you leaning over him and a shocked expression on your face.

"You like me that much, you touch me when I'm asleep?" he teases, a smirk coiling onto his face. "I didn't know you were the type."

"I-I'm not," you stammered, eyebrows furrowed. "You had a leaf in your hair."

"Sure," he drawls and closes his eyes once more.

He kind of wished you would've touched his head a bit longer. Maybe then he'd be able to actually get a nap and stop thinking of you.

Reblog to make it die faster

Lucifer: We're running late as is. Quickly grab what's important to you and let's head out at once.

*all the brothers, including Lucifer, instinctively grab Y/n at once*

All the brothers: *silently glaring at each other while not letting Y/n go*

Y/n: Uh...I need to get my bag?

I know most people don't care about anything unless it has to do with the U.S. but can we please start talking about the Canadian election.

Please don't vote for Poilievre. He's basically the Canadian Trump and plans to put in place laws that harm trans youth, and lots of other shit.

Please vote istg this is the only way anything will get better. Poilievre has been kissing millionaires and billionaires asses. He'll make life even harder, and he loves Trump.

Reblogs are appreciated, especially if you aren't Canadian.