Too-many-th0ughts - Kit!🖍

To be honest, something I see a lot in fanfiction is the reasoning for Dream’s mask being about how Dream can’t control his facial expressions well and is too readable, making him vulnerable to people knowing exactly what he’s thinking and feels. Personally though, especially now that we can reasonably say that Dream is autistic, I think it’s actually the opposite.

At least in my experience, with myself and with other autistic people, often the trouble is making the appropriate facial expression with the proper enthusiasm. Like telling a joke and people not know if you are kidding or not because you say it with such a straight face. Something I really struggle with is emoting excitement and joy so I have to be extra conscious of making sure my face is portraying how I feel so people don’t get the wrong idea.

The other thing I have to be aware of facially is eye contact, making sure to do the proper amount and/or don’t look somewhere else that makes it seem like you aren’t paying attention. (This is something I’ve realized since diagnosis that I am good at but hate, which is why I plan socializing around activities so I can focus on that instead of looking at the person.)

These are just a couple of the things on my mind when having a conversation (along with body language, tone of voice, what I’m saying…etc), that can really change how people perceive you. When not executed well people can really get the wrong impression of you, even thinking that you’re super intense, serious, a bitch, cold because your facial expressions are so stern and neutral, when in reality you could be feeling a lot of things (many people in high school didn’t talk to me and when asked later they said they were intimidated by me, and I think this might be one of the reasons why).

So, because of this, personally, I think Dream wears a mask not because he’s too open, but because he doesn’t emote properly or just doesn’t want to bother to try and emote properly, and dislikes eye contact. To not have to focus on making proper eye contact and facial expressions takes away that factor of misunderstanding and just makes conversing a lot less work and more comfortable. With a mask on, he doesn’t have to work on that part of his social masking (;D lol), now he can look where he wants and just have a resting bitch face if he wants to without worrying about how it comes across. That’s what I think is more likely the reason Dream wears a mask because he is actually naturally less expressive.

Furthermore, perhaps if he lost his mask in prison then maybe that’s a reason people in the prison are generally more cold to him and see him as less human because his expressions are so blank, giving people the perception that he’s very cold. Therefore making it easier for Sam and Quackity and even Tommy to hurt and dehumanize Dream in prison because subconsciously they are put off by his lack of emoting, which only further adds to the idea that Dream is some embodiment of evil…

dream deserves all the love in the entire universe and i'm being so serious

i believe it is hilarious how much people act as if dream incites harassment; like he's the one with the power? like he's the one with the general public's positive opinion? like he hasn't been fucking harassed and verbally abused for a year? it's all kicking this guy to a pulp even when he's down but woe is me 😞 your stans are quote retweeting me and you're ruining my friend's career because of his own actions...

Here's a few strange habits of mine that i think/have been told are c!dream reminiscent; feel free to include any in ur own head canons if you feel they fit ; v ;

Climbing trees!

Pesifically as high as i can get without the branches giving up on me, i used to do it just to prove i could catch myself when i was younger. Now i just like to sit in the tree tops, it makes me feel powerful for whatever reason. (was raised by cats so that might explain, same with perching on high surfaces in general)

Sleeping in odd places!

Like i physically can't fall asleep unless i am wedged between at lest two things. Always in small or hard to get to places, bonus points if i can camouflage myself. (Master of hide and go seek, i have won several times by straight up passing out in a physically implausible place)

Laying under bushes..

Strangest way i comfort myself is by finding a dark corner of the yard and just chilling in the moss. I call it corpse time, sounds mental but pretending like I'm rotting in the woods makes me feel useful somehow. (Got over my fear of bugs by doing this often when i was a kid)

Keeping a physical book on people...

(They know i do this and are okay w it btw)

Memory issues kick my ass but one way i circumvent this is by having a little notebook where i basically have a character page on all of my friends. I do this so i don't end up with a twisted perception of my favorite people, also to note down all the things they like because my love language is presenting offerings. (Started doing this after gaslighting myself one too many times, i note things down pretty clinically so i can assess people by their actions)

/dsmp /rp

I've seen a lot of discussions about Dream and Punz's relationship in the past months. Mostly about how Punz didn't stop Dream from going on a suicidal path, and how Punz is mainly an enabler who couldn't or didn't offer Dream the (emotional) support that he needed. I do agree with this assessment in part, but I think there's a bit more nuance there that can be explored. This turned out to be quite long so the rest can be found under the cut.

Punz is not the one to take charge in his and Dream's plans. That's just not the kind of relationship they have. When Dream says they need to stage a betrayal, Punz is more worried about the execution of that plan than about the actual plan itself. This also happens with the Revival Book. Punz offers suggestions to improve plans or clarifications on how a plan will work, but he never tells Dream he can't do something, or that they need a different plan. Punz already had this role when he was still only Dream's mercenary and it never really changes. Dream has a plan and Punz helps him with it and offers suggestions to improve it. It's been said before that Punz is an enabler, and this is actually true. While Techno would say something like, "That's a dumb plan, you need to try a different plan," Punz would say, "That's a dumb plan, here's how to improve it." But I don't think Punz is like this because he cares about Dream's plans so much. Punz's friendship with Dream is very important to him, so I think it's more that he cares about Dream so much that he can't bear to tell him no.

When Dream gets out of prison, Punz is happy about two things. 1. Seeing Dream again. and 2. The plan being back on track again, the server being "back to normal." It probably becomes clear very fast that they cannot just continue their plan as normal, with Dream having been tortured and then wasting away in the prison after breaking out. Punz most likely already has a baseline level of anger towards the rest of the server and this only increases after learning about what happened to Dream in the prison. Punz is very, very angry at the other server members, and it's getting harder and harder for him to keep up this façade that he is against Dream. So when he and Dream find out about the imbalance on the server caused by too many revivals and also the subsequent corruption, Punz probably immediately jumps on the solution to kill everyone who is against them. Finally, finally, he and Dream can solve the problem with division on the server once and for all. Finally, he can get rid of the people who mistreated Dream so badly, who are so simple-minded and unwilling to listen.

Punz does offer emotional support to Dream, but not the kind of support that would pull Dream away from this path toward self-destruction. Punz's support mostly consists of him helping Dream with whatever Dream asks. Dream needs help with the Revival Book, Dream needs Punz to pretend to betray him, Dream needs equipment after escaping the prison, Dream needs Purpled's help with taking revenge. Essentially, Dream has nobody left but Punz, and Punz makes sure that Dream can always count on him to be there. Dream isn't the type to open up quickly about his feelings, so Punz tries to make him feel reassured and that he's not alone, that he can depend on at least one person after being betrayed by everyone else. Offering reassurance and compassion is emotional support as well.

I think Dream also hides a lot of his real feelings from Punz, because Punz immediately says that "Dream is always pretty happy" when Dream tells Tommy that he is "happy now". It could be that Dream is so detached from his feelings and so dissociated all the time that there's only the outward excitement about the Revival Book left, which Punz reads as happiness. Dream generally deals with negative emotions by telling himself that he'll deal with them in the future, that he has "forever to think about it", so he doesn't have to deal with them now. I think Punz desperately wants Dream to be alright again, but he doesn't know the right words that would get through to Dream, so he just tries to support him through actions instead and hopes that this is enough to make Dream happy.

I don't think Punz is aware of how destructive their plan exactly is either. In his and Dream's view, they will deal with the imbalance by killing (almost) everyone, and then they will live forever to unravel the Revival Book and fix everything. Dream will not be alone because he has Punz, and they will always have each other. They will have eternity to figure things out and can always revive people at some later point. It takes Tommy literally seeing Dream's perspective through his eyes to finally understand Dream, so it will be unlikely or at least very hard to get the rest of the server to listen to Dream. Until Tommy opens up the possibility that people might be willing to hear Dream out, this is simply not on the table at all. Most people hate Dream and want him dead. This is demonstrated by Tommy as well since he literally kills Dream even though Dream has not done anything to him in almost a year. Dream and Punz's plan is the only solution they see as viable in the face of so much hatred and destruction. And they can't just walk away either, with the problem of the imbalance, the corruption, and also the Egg complicating matters.

So in summary, I just don't think Punz is in any kind of position to be able to stop Dream from continuing his self-destructive plan. Punz helps Dream with his plans instead of offering a different plan, because this has always been the kind of relationship he had with Dream. Punz probably thinks that this type of support, this reassurance and loyalty, is also what Dream needs after being betrayed by so many people. Offering deeper emotional support is hard for Punz when Dream deals with his own emotions by pretending they don't exist and are a problem for later, so Punz just tries to do whatever Dream wants because he thinks that this will make Dream happy. Punz eagerly supports the plan of killing everyone since he is so angry at what the server has done to Dream. And as nobody is willing to listen to Dream, Punz sees no other solution either.

“Äiti itki. Isä lähti huoneesta. Vivian istui nurkassa ja kuunteli vaiti. Kissamme Minni hyppäsi vuoteelle ja käpertyi jalkojeni päälle ja kehräsi, sillä kehräämällä parannetaan sairaita.” — Emmi Itäranta. Kuunpäivän kirjeet

“Mom cried. Dad left the room. Vivian sat in the corner and listened quietly. Our cat Minni jumped on the bed and curled up on my legs and purred, for through purring the sick are healed.” — Emmi Itäranta. The Moonday Letters. Quote tranlated by me (unofficial)

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

i love c!dream because man went into a paranoid spiral after being given a book that grants power over death and immediately was like 'i need to find a way to contain Something Powerful like death itself forever' and then decided that actually the best course of action was to put himself into the giant self-harm box and thought that makes perfect sense, actually.

Confirmed: Dream likes grabbing his friends from behind for snuggles.

cuddlebug :(