too-many-th0ughts

Latest Posts by too-many-th0ughts

"Punishment works!!!" We're drowning in three to four generations of people so pants-shittingly terrified of ever being wrong that half of everyone has constructed a worldview wherein they never even consider the possibility that they could be wrong and the other half behaves like one wrong move will make anything or anyone explode violently into a million irreperable pieces. I don't think it works guys

happy 5 year anniversary

google search Beautiful rocks near me

Happy Birthday to c!Dream, c!George, c!Sapnap, and c!Callahan! 🎉

c!Dream, c!George, c!Sapnap, and c!Callahan joined the server on April 24, 2020.

Pope Francis has died.

I know to a lot of people on the left and in the LGBTQ+ community, he wasn’t exactly seen as a holy herald of progressive values. That said I think he was more helpful to our community than we have ever really given credit.

The Catholic Church is hugely entrenched in the past. They may not ever accept gay marriage within our lifetime. But if you compare Pope Francis to any other Pope that came before him, he did more to progress the Catholic Church than anyone else ever has. He constantly spoke out saying that the church needed to accept LGBTQ+ members. He has denounced laws that criminalise homosexuality. He supported same sex civil unions—which I was literally taught was evil and dangerous when I was in Catholic high school. Transgender people can be baptized and same sex couples can be blessed because of him.

He was never enough, of course. He has affirmed the teaching that gay marriage is not spiritually possible and prior to becoming pope he opposed the legalization of same sex marriage. He has said gay children should seek psychiatric care. He has also been even less accepting of transgender people than same sex couples.

But at the same time he was the most empathetic Pope to have existed in the past several hundred years. I have left the church because I no longer believe in God, but I do recognize that the Catholic Church has power over huge swaths of the world. My mother still believes in her Catholic faith and has always stood by this idea: it’s impossible to move a behemoth organisation like the Church overnight. She stays in the community because she wants it to become better. She pushes, in her own small way, a little bit every day towards what she thinks is right. In this conversation, that is the acceptance of LGBTQ+ youths. Pope Francis was helpful in moving the Church away from a stance of hate. Now I hope that whoever the cardinals choose next for pope is someone who joins her in pushing that ball forward.

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

"I want to be a dragon."

https://x.com/M0on_loverss/status/1905342693879792121?t=75z0eFTcwU2Y90BTgV0puw&s=19

!!!

HAPPY ONE YEAR TO CUNTY DREAM

see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

i really think this tweet is onto something

I am starting to miss 2016 woke in some ways. Girlboss era I’m sorry I ever mocked you…

tmmys visit to pandora gets me so horrifically bad as someone who was an unstable child forced to hold responsibility over my younger brother, i cannot even begin to try to figure out how to visualize the fucking terror in a way that makes sense.

(Gets kinda heavy so read with caution)

Whenever i get reminded of that scene all i can think about is being like 11 and crying so hard i threw up when he was being a menace and i couldn't stop thinking about how much i wanted to hurt him.

He would regularly mess with me to the point it triggered a panic attack. My fight or flight would go off so hard that i couldn't speak or recognize anything happening around me, it would often also make me really aggressive and ig he found that entertaining.

Guess it really messed with me cuz i still can't get angry without shutting down from fear/adrenaline, best way i can describe the feeling is to imagine being a wild rabbit that's been picked up and knowing you will die if you can't claw yourself out of the hands.

Au where Quackity manages to convince Sam to have Dream in Las Nevadas by installing a tracker on him but that really does jackshit because Dream just runs away and they can't catch up to him

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

does it count if i'm technically type A but never actually follow the intricate plans my brain likes to make and opt to stress myself out instead?

To be honest, something I see a lot in fanfiction is the reasoning for Dream’s mask being about how Dream can’t control his facial expressions well and is too readable, making him vulnerable to people knowing exactly what he’s thinking and feels. Personally though, especially now that we can reasonably say that Dream is autistic, I think it’s actually the opposite.

At least in my experience, with myself and with other autistic people, often the trouble is making the appropriate facial expression with the proper enthusiasm. Like telling a joke and people not know if you are kidding or not because you say it with such a straight face. Something I really struggle with is emoting excitement and joy so I have to be extra conscious of making sure my face is portraying how I feel so people don’t get the wrong idea.

The other thing I have to be aware of facially is eye contact, making sure to do the proper amount and/or don’t look somewhere else that makes it seem like you aren’t paying attention. (This is something I’ve realized since diagnosis that I am good at but hate, which is why I plan socializing around activities so I can focus on that instead of looking at the person.)

These are just a couple of the things on my mind when having a conversation (along with body language, tone of voice, what I’m saying…etc), that can really change how people perceive you. When not executed well people can really get the wrong impression of you, even thinking that you’re super intense, serious, a bitch, cold because your facial expressions are so stern and neutral, when in reality you could be feeling a lot of things (many people in high school didn’t talk to me and when asked later they said they were intimidated by me, and I think this might be one of the reasons why).

So, because of this, personally, I think Dream wears a mask not because he’s too open, but because he doesn’t emote properly or just doesn’t want to bother to try and emote properly, and dislikes eye contact. To not have to focus on making proper eye contact and facial expressions takes away that factor of misunderstanding and just makes conversing a lot less work and more comfortable. With a mask on, he doesn’t have to work on that part of his social masking (;D lol), now he can look where he wants and just have a resting bitch face if he wants to without worrying about how it comes across. That’s what I think is more likely the reason Dream wears a mask because he is actually naturally less expressive.

Furthermore, perhaps if he lost his mask in prison then maybe that’s a reason people in the prison are generally more cold to him and see him as less human because his expressions are so blank, giving people the perception that he’s very cold. Therefore making it easier for Sam and Quackity and even Tommy to hurt and dehumanize Dream in prison because subconsciously they are put off by his lack of emoting, which only further adds to the idea that Dream is some embodiment of evil…

My dear mothers "kitchen" scissors

i love c!dream because man went into a paranoid spiral after being given a book that grants power over death and immediately was like 'i need to find a way to contain Something Powerful like death itself forever' and then decided that actually the best course of action was to put himself into the giant self-harm box and thought that makes perfect sense, actually.

warden of pandora’s vault posting like

getting dsmp content on my timeline again because of parkour civilization and it activated the maggots in my brain like sleeper agents that just heard the code word. ill never be free from these little freaks theyre like microplastics. heres the two most normal guys on the server

hi! I wanted to ask for your thought on something, if that's okay

I've been thinking about Dream and his allies and then I thought about the frase he said to Eret about, how if your king title it's the only thing stopping people from stabbing you in the back then it means nothing (if I remenbered the frase wrong im so sorry).

And it made me think, doesnt He kinda starts thinking this about friendships and alliances and loyalty too? Since at least for the time he starts to plan staged finale.

Like the fact he makes sure to team up/work with people who have at least one reason more to help/side with him outside of being loyal or being friends with him. Ex. emerald hatred for l'manberg, punz with payment and the revival book, ranboo if we count the mental control thing with his enderwalk. And like he rarely call others his friends in a genuine/not grieving way post prison, like he cant rely on friendships until he can defeat death and bring the simple times back properly and make sure they wont destroy him kinda of thought. Idk do you think this could be how he sees the reliability of friendships during this time and after?

I believe this is the quote you are referring to: 

Dream: “If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back. Respect is nothing, right? […] You don’t have power because of your crown. You have power because of me, and you have power because of the other members of the Dream SMP, like Punz and Sapnap, that give you power by protecting you and protecting your kingdomship. […] Just remember where your power comes from. Because it doesn’t come from a pretty little crown. It comes from an axe and a shield.” [clip]

I think this is actually a very important thread of Dream’s character arc and is something I think that goes far further back than that. In fact, I think the moment this belief started was back in the disc war when they killed him and took all of his things [post]. When they jumped him, killed him again and refused to return his things, Dream wasn’t scary in his iron armor then, his axe and shield were no match and so he was not revered but stabbed. Only when he gained power over Tommy by taking the discs was he able to force them to stop. Dream was respected as an authority of sorts, and Sapnap was his friend, but it did not protect him from a stab in the back, not then and not minutes later when, after he had given their stuff back, they murder him again. 

Wilbur too respects Dream as far as recognizing him as the authority of the server even calling him “King Dream” and “Lord Dream.” But also Wilbur isn’t afraid to piss him off or stab him in the back or build a whole nation to go against him.

Wilbur: “You little green lizard snake thing.” Who do you think you are?” Dream: “I am powerful.” Wilbur: “Oh yeah, go on. Why don’t you show us how powerful you are then.” [clip]

And so he did.

Dream wins a war and blows it up to showcase his power, to send a message, not too dissimilar from one of the reasons he kills Sam later. 

Dream: “Sam, you kept me locked up in here—Forever. You fed me potatoes!. You had me Tortured! […] And you know what? I will have mercy. I will let you walk out of here after—I fucking kill you. […] You can walk out of there and be a walking living example of Not To Fuck With Me.” [clip]

It’s a showcase of power, to prevent anyone else from going against him. At the end of the day, Dream gave them the land, because he didn’t care if they lived or did as they pleased on the land, it was the fact that they claimed to own it and that Wilbur made it a personal attack against Dream, that they were rebelling against him as this unjust tyrant. I mean their declaration literally says “suck it green boy” and because of this Dream had to do something to defend himself so people wouldn’t be so inclined to follow in Wilbur’s footsteps. It’s one of the reasons why he gave into giving them technical independence, because Dream won the war, he sent his message that if they wanted to steal people’s blaze rods and grief his house, then there would be consequences. 

Loyalty, honor, friendship these things have not been a deterrent to attacking Dream. After all, were the people of L’manberg not his friends? He calls them “traitors” not revolutionaries like Wilbur insists, because I think he sees it as betrayal, that the freedom he gave them to have any land they wanted on the server wasn’t enough.

Of course he’d get to the point where his friends would have to be loyal for other reasons, because time and time again it’s proven to Dream that friendship isn’t enough to protect him from a knife in the back any more than a title or crown or respect, the only thing that does is the power of an axe and shield.

Sapnap was his friend and yet betrayed him from the start of the disc war, George wasn’t really there to have his back, Badboyhalo and Sam weren’t past stabbing him in the back to form the Badlands the moment they could, even after they got to be named the Badlands like they wanted. The only reason they didn’t try to kill him was because Dream proved he’s a force to be reckoned with by beating Sam in a duel. His power was his safety not their loyalty to him or their friendship, not even giving them what they want. The moment Dream is offline, George is attacked because the only thing standing in the way between the king and a knife is not respect or politics, its not friendship or loyalty or generosity or fairness, it’s the power of Dream’s blade.

Wilbur: “Power isn’t gained from diplomacy and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses dispensed in the sky, blah, blah, blah… It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades. It’s gained from steal. Iron.” [clip]

Being peaceful and friendly and such to President Tubbo didn’t protect him, didn’t get him respect, didn’t give him authority, they still plotted to literally stab him in the back. And like you said, this feeds into the thought that without payment or a favor, even his allies will turn against him.

You’re on the mark, Dream had to have other insurance to trust people. At a certain point on his arc, he couldn’t rely on people to not stab him in the back without some good reason not to. Instead, trusting that even if Punz doesn’t care about him he’d still have his back because he pays him and he has the Revival Book too, and even if Techno doesn’t care about him he’ll still follow through on the favor, course even that trust is so fragile as he sounds so surprised when Techno shows up to save him. It’s hard to say anything about Ranboo since that lore is kinda scuffed and what the mind control actually looked like, is unknown, but I think your point still stands that it’s more than just loyalty.

Which makes sense, Eret betrayed L’manberg for a crown, part of the reason Dream Team fell out revolved around taking away George’s crown, people side with Techno for the gear he provides and turn against him the moment he acts according to the motives he’s said all along, Sam works with Quackity for financial benefit, even Dream betrayed Pogtopia for a powerful book, the same book that’s part of why Sam let Quackity torture him (yes all of the things are more complicated but that’s besides the point). The incentives were what mattered when push came to shove, loyalty and friendship meant nothing the moment it became more convenient or advantageous to turn sides. 

This is why he doesn’t really call Punz a friend in there conversation before prison and why he doesn’t validate Punz’s comment about it in the finale. Punz can’t be his friend because his friends betray him. Punz has to be there for payment and power, he has to be his ally for a reason beyond loyalty and friendship because those aren’t strong enough to keep Punz from backstabbing him. In the same way, Dream doesn’t validate Techno’s comments in prison about being friends, because Techno can’t be his friend, his friends left him to rot, Techno has to help him because of a favor and when united against a common enemy, L’manberg. Only incentive and power can protect him from a knife to the back. 

The problem with that though is that using power to gain respect, to not be stabbed in the back, fuels fear and fear fuels hate, only inflamed further by Tommy and Wilbur’s rhetoric. And hate brings a knife back to his back, something I think he truly realizes after L’manberg tried to kill Techno. Their fear of him and his power with an axe and shield only fueled their fear of him coming to hurt them again so they took action. It didn’t matter how scary or powerful Techno was, or that I think they more so respected him then they did Dream. Furthermore, in Dream's grab of this power for protection, in order to be safe from being hurt, he also loses the people and things that can be used against him. Which I think is another reason Punz and Techno’s alliance has extra conditions, because it gives them an out. It’s an extra protection, I mean everybody’s kinda chill with Techno after the jailbreak because he blames it on the favor. In the same way, that Punz is even believable to betray Dream in the staged finale because he was being paid. It’s both so he can actually trust them and so they aren’t in danger or a danger to him.

To answer you question about how that connects to the plan motives and what that might’ve looked like, it’s hard for me to say as I’m not entirely sure what their plan was or what form the reset was initially suppose to take, but as far as the defeating death goes, I think it connects to that protection piece.

If his motive was that - he didn’t want to be alone - and one of the reasons he was, was because he was scared of losing his friends, then being able to overcome death solves most of that problem. Which only leaves the other problem… they hate him. This in my opinion, would be one of the purposes of the prison, to help solve that issue, something I’ve talked about before. Which clearly goes south, leaving perhaps the new plan to reset the server… 

If the reset kept his memories intact, would he be able to trust his friends again? Well no, I think at least not fully. Trust is a fragile vase that once broken is not easily put back together, but I don’t think he’d do what he did with Punz and Techno with extra reasons. I imagine he’d more so make it so he didn’t have to trust them. That there were nets in case things went poorly as far as safety. More emotional trust I think would be very hard, but not impossible. I mean Tommy proves in the finale that Dream is capable, even after everything, of opening up. It would probably take time and the right circumstances though…

Um… anyways, I ramble, it’s all very interconnected I think… I hope some of this makes sense and I answered your questions, I feel like I might have gotten lost a bit oops… 

im reclaiming horror dream the inniters dont deserve him