Sometimes Love Is An Atheist Gang Leader And A Religious Girl Who’s The Only Saint He Believes In

they fed us SO well today

Raven makes mistakes sometimes.

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Old animation of a fluffy boi waking up from a nap I did a few months ago

High school be like:

dude: *draws on girl who sits next to him*

girl: *gets mad, punches the dude*

dude: *is to manly to let it end there, punches her back*

girl: *is too much of a feminist to let him win, punches back while cursing*

other dude, behind the two: *stops throwing his neighbours pens at the trashcan, starts throwing them at the two in front*

dude who doesn't have any pens anymore: *wakes up, gets mad at pen throwing dude*

other girl: *genuinely tries to ask a question despite the fistfight between the first dude and girl next to her*

teacher: *on the verge of walking out the door/window and or a mental breakdown*

the rest of the class: *chanting the names of the people involved*

girls be like *he is my comfort character* and then bam its the most emotionally traumatised ficitonal man you’ve ever seen

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

I think Tabula Rasa is a good episode based purely on the confirmation that if Zelenka lost all his memory and sense of propriety he would simply turn into a feral little man, no questions asked

Ruhn: please tell me they’re at least here legally

Flynn: Nope! 🤪🥰😊😃👍

No one talks enough about that one scene where Kaz sweeps a cape over Inej and there are an incredulous amount of flower petals scattering in the wind, and Inej is like these were my mother's favourite flowers, but Kaz is like cool story bro I'm glad you're back :) This boy couldn't care less about these flowers, because he's so focused on his scheme to get her away from Van Eck.

And Inej grows up believing there's no one out there for her who fits the description her father gave her. No one has learned her favourite flower, song, or sweet. She associated these specific items with affection.

And just...Kaz doesn't give Inej these exact things. Not flowers, but a knife. Not sweets, but a ship. Not a song, but the sound of freedom as she rushes to meet her parents at the harbour.

Kaz challenges the idea of love Inej was taught, and I think it's beautiful because what her father said still remains true. It's not about gift-giving, but how well the person has gotten to know you, and Kaz understands what Inej needs goes beyond flowers.

So when they're surrounded by these petals, yes, it's wonderfully symbolic for Inej, but the true expression of Kaz's loyalty isn't in these types of gestures: it lies in the fact that he came back for her, that he fights with and for her. Inej doesn't need flowers, but she needs someone to put her complete trust in. And it is that boy who earns her heart.