#the Man, The Myth, The Legend (sometimes Derogatory, Sometimes Affectionate, Sometimes Both)

the darkling: exists

every 16-19 year old in the vicinity: i’m about to end this man’s whole career

just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season

peter parker, expressing his affection as any teen would: thor i would die for you :)

thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of ten thousand burning suns: i would never let that happen

they took to it like a duck to water: they began naturally, almost effortlessly, and were immediately in their element

they took to it like a baby otter to water: screaming, certain they were dying, hating every minute of it despite being perfectly suited to the conditions

For the last three years I had this teacher I was rly afraid of, because he was always extremely intimidating. Today I was in class and when he came in he sneezed and I expected it to sound like someone murdering an elephant instead he sounded like an adorable, fluffy, kitten and I don't think I can look him in the eye ever again without cackling like a madman.

When I was 17 my appendix ruptured because I thought I was just having period cramps and didn’t go to the hospital so don’t tell me PMS symptoms are no big deal

Has this been done before? Yes it has. Is it still entertaining? You bet! 

Some tags from @ao3tagoftheday​

harold, they’re lesbians

people are gay, steven 

i’m a lesbian, carl 

don’t be a transphobe, chad 

we support the gays, david 

i’m not jealous, flavio. i’m gay

early criminal minds (seasons 1-5) is so fucking funny if you think about it from the perspective of literally anyone that the BAU interacts with outside of each other. to recap what’s going on, let’s go over the team. We’ve got:

Elle Greenaway- murderous bitch who maybe murdered someone in cold blood (claimed self defense but who can prove that?)

Spencer Reid- a genius with both mommy and daddy issues who looks like a fourteen year old TA and does magic tricks whilst, at some points, zooted off his ass on dilaudid

Jason Gideon- man who screams at crime scenes and lays down in blood stains

Derek Morgan- calls their tech analyst like “ugh mommy shove that nice hot information down my throat”

Penelope Garcia- the aforementioned Information Mommy, who talks to the team (specifically morgan) like a phone sex operator trying to make enough to cover rent

Jennifer Jareau- bubbly blonde woman who yells at TV reporters and kicks ass

David Rossi- rich, elderly, famous crime novelist who DEFINITELY should be retired

Emily Prentiss- goth lesbian who DEFINITELY has cursed folks out in one of the many languages she knows

Aaron Hotchner- tired workaholic man, trying his best to hold this shitshow together, also beat a man to death

like, can you IMAGINE??? it’s the worst week of your life. Some madman is running around, i don’t know, killing folks and cutting off their nipples or something, and this absolute clown brigade rolls up like “ah yes, just another Tuesday for us lmao” and start asking you questions about what kind of dirt this murderer had stuck to his shoes, and then they SOLVE THE CASE???? what the fuck must you be thinking at that point