I Have This Headcannon That Sylus Is Just Ridiculously Bad At Monopoly. He's Never Played It Before,

unedited. wrote this while taking a break from finishing his fic bc I forget just how rich Sylus is.

It's rare, but occasionally Sylus gets you mad. And the victim of your rage isn't him... but his bank account — specifically, the black card he's given you to use.

"Serves him right. I hope you go broke," you bitterly muttered, purchasing whatever comes to sight.

Usually, you're adamant about not using his money, specifically this card, despite his constant reminder to use it without guilt.

But when he finally comes home, days without warning or contacting you, with his clothes covered in blood and face full of exhaustion, that breaks the camel's back for you.

The result —

A new dining set, this time plated with gold. -$5k.

A new set of diamonds and pearls. -$9k.

A new Camaleonda sofa set. -$25k.

A Hästens bed set that you'll be using alone. -$150,000k.

So when Sylus gets a phone call asking if these purchases were fraudulent or if he would want to lock his card in case it was stolen, he chuckles while he taps his finger on his desk, smirking.

cute. so so cute.

He informs the banker on the other line, “No, run those purchases through."

"But sir, are you sure...? Whoever this is, they've also purchased 100 kitty plushies?"

Unfazed, Sylus responded, "That’s just my future wife throwing a tantrum. She’s cute, no?”

"I-I see."

How adorable and naive were you to think this would ever bother him — no, it excited him even more whenever you decided to challenge him, especially when you didn't allow him to touch you ever since he's gotten back.

And before he ends the call, he orders, "Send me a list of what she purchases, and make a transfer into that account so she could spend more."

Not too long after, you receive a text from him.

From: Don't You Dare Get Weak And Call Him First 🔪

I expedited that bed, Kitten. But why don't we put it to good use and give your new plushies a good show, Sweetie? Tonight.

I think Sylus has a favorite position

I already headcanoned that he prefers any position where he can see your face😉😉looks like he's a missionary kinda guy🙌🏻🙌🏻

Credit to httpskitt on Twitter

I know Goodcat isnt exactly missionary, but we're still facing him🫦🫦

Sylus our missionary king🙏🙏

i bet the second we catch this plushie, Sylus will snatch it up and take it straight to the base. dude needs his own little MC to cuddle with

the reference:

normal version bc why not:

Sylus girlies are we okay after listening to Bloodnight Blaze?! Omfg

I LOVE this man with every INCH of my being. This card was so so so so so so so so soft. It was precious. My new favorite card 🤭♥️

I love his facial expressions so much in this card you guys. You don’t understandddd

Sylus is not-so-subtly using Mephisto to spy on you while he's on a business trip— something you realize immediately as you're lounging on the couch watching TV in one of his t-shirts and hear a sudden tap-tap-tap from outside the balcony's sliding glass door.

You squint, adjusting your glasses to see a familiar red eyed crow cocking his head at you through the window. "Really?" You murmur with a smirk, getting up to pull open the door. Mephisto hops onto your shoulder with a rusty-sounding squawk.

"How long have you been out here?" You murmur good naturedly, ruffling the bird's feathers. The apertures of Mephisto's mechanical eyes restrict and dilate as he registers your face. "Hey, Sylus," you say with a wink, knowing he's listening and watching through Mephisto.

As you return to the couch, setting Mephisto on the coffee table across from you, a text buzzes through on your phone that confirms your suspicions. I like you in that shirt.

You smirk, standing up to strike an exaggerated pose in front of the bird, showcasing how oversized the shirt is on you. "So sexy, right?" You tease sarcastically.

Sexiest thing on the planet, Sylus writes back. Maybe I should come back home early to take it off of you.

"Maybe you should," you say, watching Mephisto preen his feathers. "How many more days?"

Three, baby, Sylus responds. Mephisto can keep you company in the meantime.

"Mephie can't talk," you retort, talking into the silence. "And he needs his gears oiled, by the way. He creaks like an old man when he walks." You can practically hear Sylus' thick, rumbling chuckle when he responds with a string of laughing emojis.

"I'm getting lonelier by the second," you whine. "Seriously, it's been like two weeks now and you've been too busy to call. I worry about you, you know?"

There's absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm fine. I'll be home before you know it.

You roll your eyes at his placating text. You aren't trying to be clingy, but this is the longest the two of you have ever been apart, and the persistent aching feeling of missing him is starting to wear you down. "I know, I know," you mutter, waving him off. Your phone buzzes again.

In fact, I'll make you a bet. If I'm home before you know it, you have to do whatever I say. Agreed?

"Oh, please," you snicker. Mephisto fluffs out his wings. "Fine. Whatever you say." You know he's just trying to get you to stop being mopey.

Anything I say?

"Anything," you concede, lying back to absentmindedly resume scrolling through the TV channels.

Perfect. As if on cue you hear three hard knocks on the front door.

"Son of a..."

[A/N]: adapted from a request by @harukablossomsblog~ hope you enjoy!

Happy 413