This Is Actually Accurate Lol

bro why the fuck am i so fucking anxious all the time

"you're so funny" - thanks man can’t wait to stare at the ceiling tonight.

What it's like inside my brain:

SomeBODY once

told me that you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend, I had in February of

Laaast Christmas, I gave you my heart...

Late night walks hit different when u feel empty and suicidal

craft update

yesterday after going to the dentists, my nana wanted to go to the craft store to look around since there was a big sale and I had a coupon. So we walk around and I offhandly mentioned that I wanted to try doing cross stitch, so she goes all in and gets me a starter kit and some of the fabric for it. I even have some embroidery floss that’s back at home.

anyway I wanted to show everyone my new hobby lol

I’ve spent a little over 5 hours on this guys, why is it so addictive!

i don't feel well and i'd really like to hurt myself

wat

holy shit guys, it feels weird to say this but I’m 18 now. I don’t feel like an 18 year old yet when does it hit lol

Update: of course I post this a week after my birthday, life doesn’t give me time to process on my actual birthday lol

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

I feel this way a lot, especially as someone who never thought I was gonna live to be 18. But it’s crazy to me realizing that I was 13 and 14 when I really thought that way, honestly I still do feel that way. And the only thing keeping me going on in this shitty country is that it would cause a whole lotta problems for my family if I did die, especially this far along in my life.

sometimes the feeling of wanting to unalive myself are super strong, other times it sneaks up on me- especially when someone says something that might not seem so big to them, but actually really hurts me, happens and next thing I now I’m suddenly super quiet and thinking that they would be a lot happier if I wasn’t in the picture-.

sometimes i just get hit with the feeling

i wasnt supposed to make it this far

also what do i do now

I’ve decided to start going on my walks after classes again and omg does it feel good. I did have to take a bit of a break to go charge my phone since it was at 8 percent lol

after walk snack-

made good granola bar 100cal

mamma chia 70 cal