I'm Not Sure, My Tech Oompa Loompas Make 'em.

Why does people flirting with you make you neverous and uncomfortable?

You know ur attractive af right?

Because I dislike receiving vain, individual attention in a way that is sexualizing or subtly implied innuendos.

And I'm not really into all that lovey-dovey stuff as I rarely trust or like people.

It just doesn't appeal to me.

'Kay, I'm not interested in the details. They're gone, it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care. If you bullied them then grow up, if you didn't then I wasn't talking to you. The end.

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

You really stayed inside your factory for fifteen yrs????? That's so crazy 😯🤔😲

Don't be silly, I went out in search of exotic flavors for new candy ideas numerous times. Fifteen years...pish posh.

Why did you put secret recipe on the secret recipe? You should've known it was gonna get stolen 🙄🤷🏻‍♂️

Quite obviously for the same reason you came to my chocolate factory even though you hate chocolate, you obnoxious mumbling child.

You should build restaurants inside the factory for the Oompa loompas like McDonald's or something xD

No I should not! Do you have any idea what's in McDonald's burgers? They chop up little aborted fetuses and serve them to YOU in their food. Ew.

I know, dad. You told me before. It's just that all the orthodontist visits and braces kind of left me with bad memories.

I'm atta dentist and I'm scared

I feel for you. The dentist is still one of my biggest fears. I wish I could help you feel better, but frankly I'm all out of words of encouragement. But unless you're having a serious operation done, you should be dandy. You could always ask for numbing gel, that way you won't feel a thing.

I have this theory that you're bipolar. Mainly cause when you go from being cheery to angry and petty quick. Every time the kids say something annoying you snap at them. When Augustus fell in your chocolate river you looked mad and like you didn't give a fuck then when the sucky thing sucked him up you had a smirk on your face and didn't do anything cause you wanted to see what would happen. You could've easily told your oompa loompas to get him out. You seemed like you really tried to warn all the kids except Augustus. Is it because he's fat? At the beginning of the tour you sarcastically body shamed him. You lowkey got a dark side lol

I don't understand anything you're saying. Each child was a complete brat and their parents were equally irresponsible for contributing to their kid's downfall, a lack of discipline, parenting and all that stuff.

Example, Augustus and his mother are the same size, if you get what I'm saying. If she had told him to put down a cookie or two years ago then maybe he wouldn't have been so tempted and greedy at the factory. And I was the true victim here, I had to drain my poor chocolate river and replace all the contaminated chocolate. That cost me a lot of money. So I don't want to hear about how I'm such a terrible person for supposedly taking a little pleasure in their pain.

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

Good. :)

Everybody scared to ask so I'ma ask: since you're single what do you do when you're horny? Do you get sexual urges and if you do how do you deal with them?

........................

Oh-

Well I'm not German, how was I supposed to know that? Hmph.

Nobody:

Absolutely no one in the world:

You: Good morning my little chocolate chips!

..

(Ilysfm 😂😂😂)

Well, everybody likes chocolate chips and if anyone doesn't then they need their head checked.