Don't Worry If Augustus Asks You About The Christkind Again. You'll Find All You Need To Know About Her

Sure, I don't really care for names either.

I don't do much. I'm just there, I talk a lot of weird stuff, and I like cats.

Nevermind anonymous then, I'll stick with calling you Cocoa Bean. Yes, I like that much better. It's got a chocolate-y ring to it.

Goodnight world.

Throwback to the worst day of my life. ☺️

You gotta teach me your petty ways so I can have sassy and mean clapbacks ready like you do, cuz from what i seen you win fights with ease 💀

Of course! It's all about sarcasm, delivery and wordplay. But this isn't something that everybody can do, see you gotta have the sass and be able to execute it perfectly. ☝️

Do you have a gf or wife or have you ever dated at all and are you a virgin??

I'm all in your business sorry 🙂🙂🙂

A virgin?! Goodness. You just have a dirty little mind, don't you?

A gentleman never tells.

I need to have a word with you and Edward privately please. 😁 IMMEDIATELY 😠

Oh...

Yeah sure, one moment, Tarrant.

You're tall.

Yeah, and that much closer to heaven. ☝️😌

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

When you ran away from home and your dad wasn't there when you went back how did you survive like what did you do? Where did you stay after that?

I didn't have any nearby family where I used to live, so temporary housing with relatives wasn't an option. While browsing around the local candy stores one day, I saw a man through a window pulling taffy through a taffy puller. I would visit there frequently, as he would engage me in conversation, give me food and allow me to stay out of the cold. He eventually found out I was homeless and offered me a place in his home. I then studied his candy making process and earned my own money by helping out as a hired stocker and assistant at the store, and that's when I started to create my own concoctions of candies in the back room and at home after school. Over time, I had saved up enough and used that money to invest in opening my own corner candy store, took and passed the Chocolate Manufacturing exam with flying colors, and the rest is history, really.

You know you really shouldn't beg, it's not becoming of you.

Hi Mr. Wonka. If I in any way made you or your oompa loompas uncomfortable at the last barbeque, I sincerely apologize. I did not think I would get drunk ~

That's just the problem, Alice. You don't think. You spilled heavens knows what on my new tailored coat, vomited on poor Edward, kicked an Oompa Loompa while trying to, as you said, "tear up the dance floor", and tripped and fell into the dessert table. You made a fool of yourself and ruined the party for everyone at the same time. Next time please be more considerate of your guests before popping out a big bottle of the some ol' trippy chug-a-lug.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're banned from the factory as well, by the way. I can't have you endangering my Oompa Loompas or destroying everything, now can I? And I will be billing you my Oompa Loompa's hospital bill. Yeah. Use this as a lesson to be more responsible. Hmph.