Sleeping Is Nice Until You Wake Up And Realize You're Still Sad.

probably needed a hug but instead distanced myself from everyone

Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe.

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

After you leave a toxic or abusive environment, a lot of normal things are going to feel weird, and just plainly awful at the beginning. Buying that thing you've always wanted can make you feel guilty for spending money on yourself. Resting can feel a lot more like being lazy. Safety and happiness can feel so temporary, almost like you are just waiting for life to get bad again.

It's normal, it's part of the process. You will get used to be at peace. To feel joy. To be safe. I know you will<3

ever since i knew what i shouldn't, i was never able to look my father in the eye, i wasn't even able to bare looking at him, i always sit beside my mom to avoid sitting in front of him, because the thought of him seeing me or talking to me just feels so wrong, when he hugs and kisses me i just want it to end as soon as it begins, he is no longer my dad, he is just a stranger, a monster, someone who hurt my mom to a point where there is no going back, someone who took away the mother i always wanted and replaced her with a shell of a mom, and somehow he managed to take away my dad too.. i don't know for how long i can live with this, for how long i can bare this, i don't know if i even can..

and my words shoot to kill when I’m mad, i have a lot of regrets about that

"Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year."🍂☕

this is me trying