Latest Posts by thedashversepod - Page 5

check out this periodic table

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.

"digital footprint" but i cant find that tumblr post i made 2 weeks ago

at work we have a family of three huskies who come in for daycare and everyone calls them “the mafia” it makes me so happy because occasionally out of nowhere someone over the radios will say “we’re sending in the mafia” and then three huskies barrel their way inside and usually slip and fall on the tile ajfjajg

Lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet, and the waterdrops look like stars.

WHAT!!!!

i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

medicine commercials:

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

tumblr is the root of half the internets trends and memes

in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to ‘write about a character in a new, strange situation!’ and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i’ll never quite forget my teacher’s face because it turns out she wanted ‘this new school is scary, i hope i make friends!’ and not a graphic description of a squid dying

one of my favorite things about Tumblr is that unless you're following a literal brand account or someone who has their first and last name as their username, you can follow someone who's just funny or shares your interests or something for like four years before you find out they're actually a famous artist or have 2 million YouTube subscribers or wrote a book that's considered a keystone reference work in all modern scholarship or whatever. one of many reasons this is the superior social media experience, which is impressive considering how bad it is here

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

no language should be mocked other than french

Recycled tumblr humor