Updated 12th July 2024 More description notes
John enjoyed each bite, the flavors bursting in his mouth like fireworks.
Jane skillfully twirled her fork, gathering a mix of flavors with every turn.
The smell of the freshly cooked meal surrounded them, exciting their taste buds before they took their first bites.
John closed his eyes in joy as he tasted the perfect blend of spices in the dish.
Jane's laughter mixed with the sound of clinking cutlery, creating a lively atmosphere at the dinner table.
The satisfying crunch filled the room as John bit into the crispy outside of the dish.
Jane's plate was colorful, with each ingredient adding to the beautiful meal.
The warm, inviting smell of home-cooked food filled the kitchen, drawing everyone to the table.
John's hunger grew with each bite, as the delicious meal celebrated great cooking.
Jane's eyes sparkled with happiness as she tasted the homemade dish, feeling transported to a place of culinary joy.
„I didn’t plan to say this, but I can’t hold it in any longer.”
“you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you this.”
“this might come out of nowhere, but I’m in love with you.”
“i can’t keep pretending. i have to tell you how i feel.”
“you deserve to know the truth: I’ve always cared about you.”
“i didn’t expect to fall for you, but I did.”
“this is probably the worst time to say it, but I love you.”
“i’ve been keeping this secret for too long. i need you to know.”
“it’s crazy, but every time I see you, my heart skips a beat.”
“i never thought I’d have the courage to say this, but here goes nothing.”
“i didn’t realize how much you meant to me until now.”
“i’ve been hiding my feelings for so long, but I can’t anymore.”
“this isn’t easy for me to say, but I need you to know the truth.”
“you’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about.”
“i never believed in love at first sight until I met you.”
Part 1
Again, just suggestions that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice, as I sit here doing my own edits for a WIP.
Specifically when you have your narrator taking an action instead of just… writing that action. Examples:
Character wonders/imagines/thinks/realizes
Character sees/smells/feels
Now not all of these need to be cut. There’s a difference between:
Elias stops. He realizes they’re going in the wrong direction.
And
Elias takes far too long to realize that it’s not horribly dark wherever they are
Crutch words are words that don’t add anything to the sentence and the sentence can carry on with the exact same meaning even if you delete it. Thus:
Elias stops. They’re going in the wrong direction.
I need a word in the second example, whether it’s realizes, understands, or notices, unless I rework the entire sentence. The “realization” is implied by the hard cut to the next sentence in the first example.
Unless the tone of the scene demands otherwise, my writing style is very conversational. I have a lot of sentence fragments to reflect my characters’ scatterbrained thoughts. I let them be sarcastic and sassy within the narration. I leave in instances of “just” (another crutch word) when I think it helps the sentence. Example:
…but it’s just another cave to Elias.
Deleting the “just” wouldn’t hit as hard or read as dismissive and resigned.
I may be writing in 3rd person limited, but I still let the personalities of my characters flavor everything from the syntax to metaphor choices. It’s up to you how you want to write your “voice”.
I’ll let dialogue cut off narration, like:
Not that he wouldn’t. However, “You can’t expect me to believe that.”
Sure it’s ~grammatically incorrect~ but you get more leeway in fiction. This isn’t an essay written in MLA or APA format. It’s okay to break a few rules, they’re more like guidelines anyway.
There is a time and a place to abandon this and shoot straight because oftentimes you might not realize you’re using these at all. It’s the difference between:
Blinding sunlight reflects off the window sill
And
Sunlight bounces like high-beams off the window sill
It’s up to you and what best fits the scene.
Sometimes there’s more power in not being poetic, just bluntly explicit. Situations like describing a character’s battle wounds (whatever kind of battle they might be from, whether it be war or abuse) don’t need flowery prose and if your manuscript is metaphor-heavy, suddenly dropping them in a serious situation will help with the mood and tonal shift, even if your readers can’t quite pick up on why immediately.
Whatever the case is, pick a metaphor that fits the narrator. If my narrator is comparing a shade of red to something, pick a comparison that makes sense.
Red like the clouds at sunset might make sense for a character that would appreciate sunsets. It’s romantic but not sensual, it’s warm and comforting.
Red like lipstick stains on a wine glass hints at a very different image and tone.
Metaphor can also either water down the impact of something, or make it so much worse so pay attention to what you want your reader to feel when they read it. Are you trying to shield them from the horror or dig it in deep?
Nothing sticks out on a page quite like a line of narrative all by itself. Abusing this tactic will lessen its effect so save single sentence paragraphs for lines you want to hammer your audiences with. Lines like romantic revelations, or shocking twists, or characters giving up, giving in. Or just a badass line that deserves a whole paragraph to itself.
I do it all the time just like this.
Your writing style might not feature a bunch of chunky paragraphs to emphasize smaller lines of text (or if you’re writing a fic on A03, the size of the screen makes many paragraphs one line), but if yours does, slapping a zinger between two beefy paragraphs helps with immersion.
Not gibberish! These, like single-sentence paragraphs, mix up the usual flow of the narrative that are lists of concepts with or without conjunctions.
Asyndeton: We came. We saw. We conquered. It was cold, grey, lifeless.
Polysyndeton: And the birds are out and the sun is shining and it might rain later but right now I am going to enjoy the blue sky and the puffy white clouds like cotton balls. They stand and they clap and they sing.
Both are for emphasis. Asyndeton tends to be "colder" and more blunt, because the sentence is blunt. Polysyntedon tends to be more exciting, overwhelming.
We came and we saw and we conquered.
The original is rather grim. This version is almost uplifting, like it's celebrating as opposed to taunting, depending on how you look at it.
—
All of these are highly situational, but if you’re stuck, maybe try some out and see what happens.
*italicized quotes are from ENNS, the rest I made up on the spot save for the Veni Vidi Vici.
So that there isn’t a scene where they’re reciting their personality in the mirror to nobody other than the reader
—How they uphold their work/life social balance and if they chose one over the other
—What their dream vacation looks like as they’re slowly falling asleep in work or at school
—Who’s their best friend? The quiet nerd or the super macho football player?
—Their initial response to the inciting event (pure shock? Excitement? Running away screaming?)
—Who are they closest with in their family? If nobody, is the feeling mutual or a sentiment shared by just them?
—Do they have a go-to outfit or style if they don’t want to wear anything fancy?
—How often do they wear their ‘comfy clothes’?
—What’s their internal thought process as they pass by their coworkers/classmates who they AREN’T close with but don’t hate?
—When do they watch their comfort show or movie, what genre is it, and why do they still like it after all this time?
—Go-to restaurant? Do they have a connection with the owner? Is the location convenient? Do they just like the prices?
—Where they would want to be ten years in the future
Jaw clenching tightly
Hands balling into fists
Veins throbbing visibly at the temple
Eyes narrowing to slits
Breathing becoming quick and shallow
Stomping or heavy footsteps
Voice rising in pitch or volume
Flushing or reddening of the face
Throwing or slamming objects
Brows knitting together in frustration
Lips pressing into a thin line
Teeth grinding audibly
Staring with a hard, fixed gaze
Sarcasm dripping from every word
Snapping responses or barking orders
Choosing a noun well will allow you to cut adjectives. This tightens your sentences and clarifies the meaning:
a young tree -> sapling
a single-storey house -> a bungalow
a young female horse -> a filly
her long thick hair -> her mane
a prudish person -> a prude.
his bald scalp -> his pate
an unpleasant smell -> a stench
a small child -> a toddler
a brown-haired woman -> a brunette
Of course, the choice of noun depends on context, but if you can use one word, why use two?
Writing style. If you have a lush writing style, you would use more adjectives compared to a terse one. However, more than three adjectives in a sentence will slow down the story.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* . ───
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other words to describe your characters instead of _____
HIGH bewildered, baffled, perplexed, disoriented, stunned, amazed, astonished, flabbergasted MODERATE doubtful, puzzled, surprised, perplexed, befuddled, distracted, disorganized LOW misled, undecided, uncertain, lost, dazed, unsure, indecisive
HIGH ashamed, exhausted, powerless, anemic, decrepit, frail, useless, depleted MODERATE vulnerable, inept, inadequate, worn out, helpless, spent, run down, sluggish, fragile LOW tired, weary, limp, soft, feeble, ineffective
HIGH powerful, potent, fearless, forceful, mighty, emphatically, active, vigorous, unyielding MODERATE confident, tough, robust, brave, sound, daring, hardy, hefty LOW capable, adequate, firm, assured, steady, stable, solid
If these writing notes helped with your poem/story, please tag me. Or leave a link in the replies. I'd love to read them!
more words to use instead other words to use instead even more words to use instead
Creating royal characters can be both exciting and challenging. These regal figures often play pivotal roles in stories, capturing readers' imaginations with their power, privilege, and the weight of responsibility they carry. Whether you're writing historical fiction, fantasy, or contemporary novels featuring monarchs, this comprehensive (mini) guide will help you develop authentic, multi-dimensional royal characters that will resonate with your readers.
Before diving into character creation, it's essential to have a solid grasp of what royalty entails. Royalty typically refers to members of a ruling family, including kings, queens, princes, princesses, and other nobles within a monarchical system. These individuals are often born into their roles, though some may ascend to power through marriage or other means.
Key aspects to consider:
Hierarchy and succession
Royal duties and responsibilities
Protocol and etiquette
The concept of divine right (in some cultures)
The relationship between royalty and their subjects
Remember, while these elements are common in many royal systems, you have the creative freedom to adapt or reimagine them for your fictional world.
Every character, royal or not, needs a rich backstory. For royal characters, this background is particularly crucial as it shapes their worldview, values, and decision-making processes.
Consider the following:
a) Lineage: What is your character's family history? Are they from a long-standing dynasty or a newly established royal house?
b) Upbringing: How were they raised? Were they groomed for leadership from birth, or did they have a more sheltered upbringing?
c) Education: What kind of education did they receive? Was it formal, focusing on statecraft and diplomacy, or more well-rounded?
d) Relationships: How do they relate to their family members, courtiers, and subjects?
e) Personal experiences: What significant events have shaped their character and outlook on life?
Avoid the trap of creating one-dimensional royal stereotypes. Your character should be as complex and nuanced as any other well-developed protagonist or antagonist.
Consider these aspects:
a) Strengths and weaknesses: What are your character's admirable qualities? What flaws do they struggle with?
b) Motivations: What drives them? Is it a sense of duty, personal ambition, or something else entirely?
c) Internal conflicts: What personal struggles do they face? How do these conflicts affect their rule and relationships?
d) Hobbies and interests: What passions do they pursue outside of their royal duties?
e) Sense of humor: How do they express humor, if at all? Is it dry wit, sarcasm, or something else?
One of the most intriguing aspects of royal characters is the juxtaposition between their immense power and their human vulnerabilities. This balance can create compelling internal and external conflicts for your character.
Consider:
The weight of responsibility and its impact on their personal life
The isolation that often comes with a royal position
The constant scrutiny they face from the public and court
The struggle between personal desires and duty to the crown
Your royal character doesn't exist in a vacuum (I hope not). They're part of a larger royal ecosystem that includes family members, advisors, courtiers, and subjects. Developing this world adds depth and authenticity to your story.
Key elements to consider:
Court dynamics and politics
Relationships with other noble houses or kingdoms
The role of advisors and how they influence decisions
Traditions and customs specific to your royal setting
The economic and social structure of the kingdom
Royal characters face unique challenges that can drive your plot and character development. Some common themes include:
a) Succession disputes b) Balancing personal happiness with duty c) Navigating political alliances and conflicts d) Managing public opinion and maintaining legitimacy e) Dealing with threats to their rule or life
Use these challenges to create tension and drive your story forward while revealing more about your character's personality and values.
If you're writing historical fiction or a fantasy inspired by real-world monarchies, it's crucial to consider the historical context. Research the time period and culture you're drawing from to ensure authenticity in your character's behavior, beliefs, and challenges.
Key areas to research:
Social norms and expectations of the time
Political systems and power structures
Technology and its impact on governance
Religious beliefs and their influence on royalty
Gender roles and how they affect royal duties and succession
When creating royal characters, be mindful of these common mistakes:
a) Making them too perfect or too villainous b) Ignoring the realities of royal life (e.g., lack of privacy, constant duties) c) Overlooking the impact of their decisions on their subjects d) Failing to show growth or change over the course of the story e) Relying too heavily on stereotypes or clichés
Royal characters often adhere to strict codes of conduct and protocol. While you don't need to become an expert in royal etiquette, incorporating some of these elements can add authenticity to your story:
Forms of address (Your Majesty, Your Highness, etc.)
Court ceremonies and rituals
Dress codes and regalia
Rules of precedence in social situations
Diplomatic protocols when interacting with other royals or dignitaries
Remember that not all royal characters need to be ruling monarchs. Consider exploring other royal roles, such as:
The rebel prince or princess who rejects their royal duties
The reluctant heir thrust into power unexpectedly
The exiled royal fighting to reclaim their throne
The royal spouse adapting to life in the palace
The illegitimate child discovering their royal heritage
Each of these archetypes offers unique storytelling opportunities and challenges for character development.
If you're writing historical fiction featuring real royalty, you'll need to strike a balance between historical accuracy and creative interpretation. While it's important to respect known facts and timelines, you also have the freedom to explore the inner lives and motivations of these historical figures.
Tips for balancing accuracy and creativity:
Thoroughly research the historical figure and their time period
Clearly differentiate between historical fact and fictional interpretation
Use author's notes to explain any significant departures from known history
Focus on filling in the gaps in the historical record rather than contradicting established facts
Like any well-rounded character, your royal protagonist should undergo growth and change throughout your story. Consider how their experiences might challenge their beliefs, alter their perspective, or force them to confront their flaws.
Possible character arcs for royal characters:
From naive idealist to pragmatic ruler
From reluctant heir to confident leader
From isolated monarch to connected leader who understands their subjects
From power-hungry tyrant to benevolent ruler (or vice versa)
Remember, character growth doesn't always have to be positive. Sometimes, the most compelling stories involve characters who face moral decline or tragic falls from grace.
Remember, while the trappings of royalty may be grand, at their core, your royal characters are still human. They love, fear, hope, and struggle like anyone else. It's this humanity, set against the backdrop of power and responsibility, that makes royal characters so fascinating to read and write about.
Happy writing, - Rin T
Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!
Just a few suggestions. You shouldn’t have to compromise your writing style and voice with any of these, and some situations and scenes might demand some stiff or jerky writing to better convey emotion and immersion. I am not the first to come up with these, just circulating them again.
This is an example paragraph. You might see this generated from AI. I can’t help but read this in a robotic voice. It’s very flat and undynamic. No matter what the words are, it will be boring. It’s boring because you don’t think in stiff sentences. Comedians don’t tell jokes in stiff sentences. We don’t tell campfire stories in stiff sentences. These often lack flow between points, too.
So funnily enough, I had to sit through 87k words of a “romance” written just like this. It was stiff, janky, and very unpoetic. Which is fine, the author didn’t tell me it was erotica. It just felt like an old lady narrator, like Old Rose from Titanic telling the audience decades after the fact instead of living it right in the moment. It was in first person pov, too, which just made it worse. To be able to write something so explicit and yet so un-titillating was a talent. Like, beginner fanfic smut writers at least do it with enthusiasm.
You got three options, pre-, mid-, and post-tags.
Leader said, “this is a pre-dialogue tag.”
“This,” Lancer said, “is a mid-dialogue tag.”
“This is a post-dialogue tag,” Heart said.
Pre and Post have about the same effect but mid-tags do a lot of heavy lifting.
They help break up long paragraphs of dialogue that are jank to look at
They give you pauses for ~dramatic effect~
They prompt you to provide some other action, introspection, or scene descriptor with the tag. *don't forget that if you're continuing the sentence as if the tag wasn't there, not to capitalize the first word after the tag. Capitalize if the tag breaks up two complete sentences, not if it interrupts a single sentence.
It also looks better along the lefthand margin when you don’t start every paragraph with either the same character name, the same pronouns, or the same “ as it reads more natural and organic.
General rule of thumb is that action scenes demand quick exchanges, short paragraphs, and very lean descriptors. Action scenes are where you put your juicy verbs to use and cut as many adverbs as you can. But regardless of if you’re in first person, second person, or third person limited, you can let the mood of the narrator bleed out into their narration.
Like, in horror, you can use a lot of onomatopoeia.
Drip Drip Drip
Or let the narration become jerky and unfocused and less strict in punctuation and maybe even a couple run-on sentences as your character struggles to think or catch their breath and is getting very overwhelmed.
You can toss out some grammar rules, too and get more poetic.
Warm breath tickles the back of her neck. It rattles, a quiet, soggy, rasp. She shivers. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. Sweat beads at her temple. Her heart thunders in her chest. Ba-bump-ba-bump-ba-bump-ba- It moves on, leaving a void of cold behind. She uncurls her fists, fingers achy and palms stinging from her nails. It’s gone.
The amount of times I have been faced with giant blocks of dialogue with zero tags, zero emotions, just speech on a page like they’re notecards to be read on a stage is higher than I expected. Don’t forget that though you may know exactly how your dialogue sounds in your head, your readers don’t. They need dialogue tags to pick up on things like tone, specifically for sarcasm and sincerity, whether a character is joking or hurt or happy.
If you’ve written a block of text (usually exposition or backstory stuff) that’s longer than 50 words, figure out a way to trim it. No matter what, break it up into multiple sections and fill in those breaks with important narrative that reflects the narrator’s feelings on what they’re saying and whoever they’re speaking to’s reaction to the words being said. Otherwise it’s meaningless.
—
Hope this helps anyone struggling! Now get writing.
Eyes lighting up, sparkling with anticipation
A broad, uninhibited smile
Bouncing lightly on the balls of the feet
Clapping hands together
An animated, almost unstoppable flow of talk
Quick, energetic movements
Laughing freely and loudly
Rushing to share the news with someone else
A sudden burst of energy, such as jumping or running
Throwing arms up in a gesture of victory or joy
Read the disclaimer. This is a work in progress, and I will post updates as I get them. Thanks for reading!
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